The Hermit Club

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  • whaevah
    whaevah Member Posts: 354
    edited November 2012

    Skittle ..tell the parents whaevah Tongue OutLaughing

    got my ticket, we're all in Money Mouth

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  • markat
    markat Member Posts: 909
    edited November 2012

    Hi all! Sorry I've been gone. Crazy here trying to get decorations out, clean after the slobs and working on a picture calendar project for my MIL.

    K- pop in more. Just come in and say hi!

    Whaevah, is our show new or rerun?

    Hugs to all!

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  • InspiredbyDolce
    InspiredbyDolce Member Posts: 1,181
    edited April 2014

    Journey4Life:

    This is in response to your post about how to move forward.  

    First off, give yourself a break and don't be too hard on yourself that you received a "meets expectations" on your performance review. It might have had to be listed that way only as a technicality if you were out of the office a lot, so as to not show favoritisim towards you, and not other employees.  Look at it only as a matter of HR.  And if for some reason your performance was down, that's okay.  You were working harder for something much more important - your life!

    Second, I was stuck in limbo for several months post-chemo.  2 things helped me move forward.  1) I felt a huge sense of relief when the Moonshot Project was announced and detailed by Dr. Sanjay Gupta.  He said it would cut the death rate in half for TNBC within a few years.  I know there are a lot of promises out there regarding BC but I felt different about his statement.  2) get busy with stuff you did before your dx.

    It made me realize that life is moving forward, with or without me.  Like you said (and my Oncologist warned me it would be this way), people stop checking in on you when you are done with treatment.  I looked great, have a new body (lost 22 lbs) have a great wig, so people see me only as healthy me.  But I think that is good, we don't want to be viewed as sick when we are healed.  And now when I get a text and someone says "how are you?"  I get defensive, because I'm "fine" what does this message mean, why wouldn't I be?!!  LOL  

    But I think in general getting busy helps, and removing things that remind you of it.  For instance, if you had a certain tote bag you took to chemo, then get rid of it.  It will always be a reminder.  I did a purge of stuff.  

    Take it one day at a time.  Wake up, open the drapes and say "what a beautiful day it is" - and then realize you have an opportunity to live it, and then do things that make you happy.  Treat yourself a little while you are moving through this phase.  And if you have a really bad day, then let yourself have a really bad day.  Turn the phone off, have a good cry, take a nap, or watch your favorite TV program or call a girlfriend and discuss your fears.  It can be expected to have a bad day once in a while, even with moving forward.  Just give in to it the whole day, so the next day you can go back to your normal happier self.  

    I hope this helps you some! 

    Hugs.

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  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 16,882
    edited November 2012

    Debra Good Advice.---Did I know u'r a writer? Sometimes I know then I forget. And u can work from home? Wow That's impressive to me. My DD wanted to do one of 2 rhins in her life and that was one---She got extremey ill and that blew her dreams. But I'm glad u'rs are in tact. Not thst I'm opposing u'r ideas, but it's harder for some than others. I hate when I hear so many of u are so young and hae young kidds to care for.It's like a hit in my face,  And I'm much older so it is easier for me I've just learned to accept it.

    But my big thing was to have a computer so that I could reach out to other people--I've never been on the internet before any of this and about 2 yrs ago I started and I'm still learning, so to me it's kept me busy (just learning) and I hace met so many wonderful people from all over and it's filled my life so altho that's sounds simple--to me being my age it's magical--I never thought I'd get close to people this way never and I'm so happy knowing people like this so this is how I've moved on---Am I making sense cuz my mind feels jumbly this morning. And this group is certainly on top of my list.This is one hell of a group, caring, loving, funny and working to get past this and I love it.

    And I'm in girls---if I win we all win.  Yeah

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  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited January 2013

    I'm taking a break from damn X-mas cards:o(   Snow has come to the North Country.   In the dead of winter, January through March, is my favorite time on the threads.Kiss

    Nap time!!Wink

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  • markat
    markat Member Posts: 909
    edited November 2012

    Debra, you may want to send that in a private message to Journey, it may get lost in the shuffle of our chatting. Congratulations on moving forward and achieving your goals.



    I finally finished my calendar project for MIL. My 20-30yo nieces and nephews are jerks. Not one of them sent me any pictures. So I had to scour old photo books and their facebooks to get get pictures. Grow up assholes, lol.



    I'm letting the girls decorate the tree today. I'm dragging!

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  • bgirl
    bgirl Member Posts: 538
    edited November 2012

    Busy weekend, not much for hermitude .... went up to my brother's about 2 hrs away.  They were hosting a party for my younger brother and his family who are leaving in a month to go to Australia for a year.  So lots of family... just got home a little while ago.  My head is kind of spinning.... don't think I am the only one ... No one spoke at all on the drive home.  Happy to sleep in my own bed tonight.

    Glad everyone seems to have had a good weekend. Cami, will keep fingers crossed on the big D for you.

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  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 16,882
    edited November 2012

    Hi guys I made it out today--It was iffy this morning but I just double my pills so I went and I was so glad bit of my GFs came in at the same time from FL so we were sll together It was so much fun. I really enjoyed it.now I'm exhausted totally. LOL And tomorrow I go for the neuclear

    bone scan and I hst that one--I get that stupid stuff and have to just wait for 2 hrs. ick I'll go for my blood work first. than that stpid shot-- hrs. WTF is that that's why I hate it--after all I have so much to do all day.  hahaha

    Markat sorry u didn't get cooperation, sometimes I think people forget easily.

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  • whaevah
    whaevah Member Posts: 354
    edited November 2012

    Skittles, I made it through the weekend without burning down the office...winning! Tomorrow is a new day so all bets are off.

    markat, I missed our show again, sleeping. Must have been the pizza and wine I stuffed myself with. First pizza since March, DH usually makes them from scratch which I love, but this one was take out and I am now the poster child for sodium. Carried on with the healthy theme and had blueberry waffles and bacon for brunch. I look like a blowfish, but I don't feel bad or guilty, just piggish and bloated. Tongue Out

    Last night was a sweat bath. I opened all the windows and DH cuddled up in a snowsuit. My 10lb cat slept on me, locking the blankets in place, creating a sauna. I kept moving him and he kept moving back. This morning I was telling DH how affectionate kitty was, he said...nah, he was looking for warmth in the bedroom/freezer. I was surprised he said that, I didn't look surprised though...no eyebrows.

    My laptop is wanting to take a flying leap through a window but the dishwasher beat it to it. So i better post fast while waving it through the air looking for connection. I know, looks crazy but .........

    markat, you have your tree up! I am impressed, envious and happy for you. Not that anyone could tell...you know...eyebrow thingy.Laughing

    hope all hermits are happy Smile

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  • InspiredbyDolce
    InspiredbyDolce Member Posts: 1,181
    edited April 2014

    Cami - sending you positive vibes for tomorrow - hope everything goes well and that the results come back great! How long before you know the results?

    Regarding my earlier post .... 

    Even moving forward, there are still some times when I take a step backwards.  It is a continual process.  There are good days, and bad days.  But in general I was miserable in limbo.  I have either moved forward a little or I have gone back into denial.  :o)  Before I wrote my post, I did have 10 months of being stuck in a rut.  But eventually the rut was wearing me out.

    I would loathe when someone would tell me "you've got to get on with your life."  That is so much easier said than done.  But what helped me was getting so busy that I forgot about me.  It made me feel good for once to think about someone else or something else.  

    I told Journey4Life, that even now, I will try to take a nap, and dream really hard, and hope to wake up and find that this has all been a nightmare.  But it hasn't worked yet. Last year I waited through Christmas for the biopsy results. I keep thinking maybe I drank a little bit too much spiked eggnog and fell into a weird dream sequence.  No such luck, it appears!

    It is hard moving forward, but each day I get a little stronger.  

    I also find lots of hot green tea and dark chocolate helps.  :o) I remember the first time I was able to laugh again after finding out my diagnosis.  

    Thinking of all of you right now -- and hope you all have a great week!  I'm proud of myself, I didn't hit any stores this weekend.  I'm planning on seeing what the internet has tomorrow for Cyber Monday.

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  • Stormynyte
    Stormynyte Member Posts: 650
    edited November 2012

    So, I typed out this whole big thing about how the steri strips and plastic sticky flim thingy gave me a square of blisters after my port surgery, but then my pc shut off, stupid thing. So anyway, start chemo tomorrow, if they can poke through the blisters to get to the port.

    Turkey day was good, it was just hubby, the kids, my dad and one of his friends who didn't have anywhere else to be that day. I always make sure no one we know will be alone on a holiday. Unless they choose to be a hermit of course. Lol

    So much going on for a bunch of hermits!

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  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 16,882
    edited November 2012

    Whaeva---sounds like u are happy with u'r food choices to---sounds good to me.

    Inspired U're doing well it'sll all get better and as far as my results I don't know but she already told me my lump probably won;t show up so I really don't care when I get them--I never think about those things.

    Stormy u start tomorrow with that goofy port - ouch . Well they'll be gentle--now what are u getting? Thid isn't the first time u getting chemo right? I'm so sorry, I hope it's OK for u;

    Oh when I got home out tree was up--so pretty.

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  • FLwarrior
    FLwarrior Member Posts: 977
    edited November 2012

    Oh skittle I have the perfect luxury spa picked out for us hermits.  It is the Don Cesar aka "The Pink Palace" we can be waited on by the "cabana boyz" and dip our manicured toes in the white sand...Oh, it sounds so good!!! Who has the winning lottery ticket?  I'm in.

        

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  • Stormynyte
    Stormynyte Member Posts: 650
    edited November 2012

    Yep, first time. I'm trying hard to talk myself out of going. lol Cytoxan and Adriamycin to start. Then switch to Taxotere umm.. in 3 months I think he said.

    Christmas deco up already! I haven't even drug mine up from the basement. I'm such a slacker.

    Fl, that is beautiful!

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  • FLwarrior
    FLwarrior Member Posts: 977
    edited November 2012

    Camille glad you had fun at lunch with your girlfriends!  Girlfriends are a good thing!  I met one of mine for coffee yesterday and I enjoyed my time with her!  Hope all goes good with your scan tomorrow!

    Stormy sorry about the blisters!  Ouch.  Best wishes for an easy infusion.  Hope it goes well for you.

    I put up a few decorations yesterday. What little I am doing for this year is done. I used to go all out on decorating for Christmas until last year. I just didn’t have the energy or really care (I was in a dark place). This year I am living in a small space, so there is not much room to decorate.

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  • Skittle
    Skittle Member Posts: 400
    edited November 2012

    oh, my... so tired.  I think we're all done in with the Thanksgiving exertions.  Out of character/out of comfort zone for me sometimes.  Just wanna curl up...

    FLwarrior--you might inspire me to buy more than one ticket!  what a photo.  At the going numbers, we could spring for a week there!

    Stormy--prayers and (((( )))) are with you.

    Camille--so happy you have found the ways of the computer.  It is amazing to me, too, that cyberfriends can bring so much comfort and humor and care.  This nest of hermits is such a safe spot...  I feel honored to be among you all.  Will be thinking of you tomorrow.

    ok, whaevah--I am dangerously close to a glowing fireplace right now... and it would bring great satisfaction to set the essays aglow...  (I buckled down and graded a third of the pile... and they're rough...putting it politely.)  Congrats on your progress, though!  Wishing you well tomorrow.  Keep a little energy for yourself.  And thanks so much for your humor...  I could picture your poster child for sodium... cat sauna... blowfish.  Hoping you feel better... 

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  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 16,882
    edited November 2012

    FL--I love the spa--someone better win. And I know the feeling about decorations I've always loved them but for a couple of years I just had some lights that. was all.

    Stormy I thought u had chemo before I'm sorry. I'm sure u'rll probably get the usual something for nause, Benedryl (love that) and then I saw what u'r getting. Let us know how it goes and how u feel---I don't want to out any preconceaved (sp) notions in u'r head about it--everyone is different so keep us informed how u'r doing day by day and we'll talk u thru it. (if u want) They no doubt will give u some steroids and that will probably ive u energy so do what u can--I love steroids hahaha (really) and tell me the color of the chemo too. OK Good Luck and don't let them hurt u with u'r port. But when u heal u'll love it.

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  • markat
    markat Member Posts: 909
    edited November 2012

    FL I wanna go now!! <stomps feet and pouts>. I'd totally leave the house to go there!

    Camille, glad you had fun! Let us know how everything goes tomorrow. I have my fingers and toes crossed that is easy and quick.

    Stormy, I have allergic reactions to that stuff also. I still have a scar from the tape after my BMX. I hope tomorrow goes smoothly and you can go home and sleep afterwards.

    Bgirl, glad you got to see your family and had a good time. Hope you sleep well tonight.

    Whaevah, our show was a repeat anyway. I eat a lot of pizza. My DH is a pizza junkie, seriously. Try not to hurt anyone when the laptop eventually goes flying out of your hand. Eyebrows are overrated. They're just extra face fuzz.

    My tree is up, the lights outside are up. I have 2 little elves that can't stand to wait. They dragged up the ornament containers from the basement so I didn't have much of a choice. Tomorrow I see my MO and probably get bloodwork. Tues is H.

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  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 16,882
    edited November 2012

    Stormy (((HUGS))) for today

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  • markat
    markat Member Posts: 909
    edited November 2012

    Stormy and Camille I'm thinking of you both today. I hope the day goes by fast.

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  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited January 2013

    Stormynyte and camillegal,

    Hurry back to the roost!Wink

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  • FLwarrior
    FLwarrior Member Posts: 977
    edited November 2012

    Goodmorning ladies.  Its Monday morning...I should be at work.  (rant starts here) Thanks directly to Obamacare and the Medicare CUTS my company is now in fiscal trouble (actually they are loosin' their a$$). SO...  I, along with 20 others, am laid off as of today!  How's that for Happy EFFIN' Holidays? Camille I am going to join your letter writing campaign. The white house on the hill is gonna get mail-from me!!! I am single, not retirement age, and broke (everything I had was taken by the bc ordeal). I HAVE to work! I NEED to work! Really?...They are Really going to lay people off during the holidays???   It SUX!!! (rant over)

    Camille and Stormy thoughts are with you both today.

    Lottery ticket...need winning ticket!!!

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  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited January 2013

    FLwarrior,

    I think that is happening all over the country.Frown   Come on ticket!!!

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  • Stormynyte
    Stormynyte Member Posts: 650
    edited November 2012

    Aww, thank you guys so much! So many well wishes so early. I needed that.

    Camille, *hugs* back at ya! I hope your scan goes well.

    Come on power ball!

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  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited January 2013

    YES!!!

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  • whaevah
    whaevah Member Posts: 354
    edited November 2012

    camillegal...hope your procedures go well today

    Stormynyte...best wishes for no SE's, I just finished 4AC and 12taxol, and really it is doable. Not fun but doable. I found listening to music was really helpful, as was Ativan on infusion days Wink

    markat...how many more H do you have? geez thought you were finished :( Oh and could I borrow your elves, sure could use some Xmas helpers

    FLwarrier...that just sux, really suxYell

    *waves* to all,  back to work for me

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  • bgirl
    bgirl Member Posts: 538
    edited November 2012

    Cami- hope everything went well today.  Stormynyte - sorry to hear you have to do chemo.  FL warrior .... I think you summed it up when you said that it SUX.  Yes, Yes it does!!

    Will go buy a lottery ticket here ... someone has to win.  and it is not like we don't all deserve it!!

    Went to gyn today ... surgery on 11th of Dec.  Don't like the idea of anesthesia again, but it is quick ... only 1/2 hr  and recovery time after is very easy.  Except no sex for 3 weeks ... lol.

    Good thoughts to those I have missed, oh and was good to here from you K.  Puppies for christmas sounds exciting.

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  • markat
    markat Member Posts: 909
    edited November 2012

    Flwarrior so sorry about your situation. Medicare is a mess that will take a long time to fix. It's hard to watch all the bubbles burst. I miss the glorious 90's when our biggest problems were a prez getting a BJ.



    Stormy let us know how you're feeling. My biggest piece of advice is to stay in an ativan induced fog for the whole week following treatment. Also, limit your exposure to assholes as much as possible. Hugs!!



    Tomorrow's my last H! I thought I had 1 more after but it's tomorrow!! What a freaking year.



    Whaevah, my elves would have your house decorated in under an hour. They are mini Martha Stewarts. Not sure where they get that.



    Bgirl, will the surgery help with the pain you've been having or is that a separate issue?

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  • bgirl
    bgirl Member Posts: 538
    edited November 2012

    Markat, good luck and congrats on last one.  This surgery will only deal with some of tamoxifen induced gyn issues.  Pain creeping back up in back/hip, but do have apt with my PCP next week so will be bringing up again.  MRI results from my BS tomorrow ... hoping for official all clear.  When do the apts end?

    Question:  How do you all deal with sharing information with family?  My mom gets upset when I am just general and don't keep her up-to-date with all the details ... not that she has called more than twice in the last year ... but when I do she proceeds to share very personal details about my medical problems.  Let her in on stuff on weekend when I was away and talking to sisters at her place and then I hear her on the phone the next morning talking to someone from her church.  Ugh, I was so upset.  Feel guilty when I don't talk to her, but don't get any support and she just uses info as gossip.

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  • markat
    markat Member Posts: 909
    edited November 2012

    My mom doesn't want to know the details but my MIL was terrible about that. I've shared before that she tells everyone she meets about my BC. She even insisted on going to my appts when I was in the beginning stage. I would either just leave out details when you talk to her or beg her to keep it to herself. That's a tough situation.

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