PTSD

I actually started a new job during treatment (surgeries, etc..). My supervisor and other bosses have been great and now I am at the end of radiation, but it has gotten "old". Like they feel you should be "over it". Especially in my profession. I am a nursing supervisor in an elder care facility, so we see people who have overcome all sorts of diseases and live to a ripe old age. I don't talk about it anymore, even though my breast and armpit are on fire sometimes. People don't want to hear it.

I totally understand feeling like you woke up in a fog. Many days I think "I am a cancer survivor? WHAT?" I am dealing with depression and body image issues also...this whole thing has shaken me to my core and no one understands except another cancer patient.

My co-workers don't know what I've gone through (I opted not to do chemo, so no hair loss), and I'm keeping it that way. Being their supervisor they don't need to see any weakness in me (in my opinion). Funny thing is, they ask what I do to be so healthy! I think "Are you nuts?" (I see a naturopath, holistic doctor, so it definately is helping!)

Anyway, please know you don't have to be perfect. People are people and after awhile they expect you to just "get over it" like the cancer was the flu. I am here to vent to if you want to send me a message, feel free

i have PTSD...

but i dont work..

i find the treatments... being around all the noises, the people etc... especialy hard to deal with

and yes... i get that sense sometimes from ppl "get over it"

most ppl dont know... what living with this is like

ty Scottie

i am taking pills... have been for a few years

since DX , it seems to have triggered me again.

I am on a waiting list for a psychiatrist in my area.. but

when i saw that my cancer med team includes a psychiatrist , i immedietly asked to talk to him so that the team is very aware that my mental health is as important as my physical health.

as for the hermit thing... ya im fighting it...feel like im loosing tho

thx for your warm and encouraging words

I carry a dx of PTSD.  It was within 6 months that my mother died, my brother commited suicide after being dx'ed with brain mets after esophageal CA and I was dx'ed with BC, in that order.  Then, I lost my job (but found one immediately).  Am a single woman alone and that may have contributed to the severity of my symptoms.  Due to the suicide, medication could not be provided to me. I did talk my oncologist into giving my Provigil because I had to continue working.  This med helped me considerably as focusing on the written word was impossible and I am a medical transcriptionist.

The presenting symptoms were similar to being in shock.  I am still not the same as before.  I am numb but cry sometimes.  Energy I have is put toward my job and after that, there is not much left.  My house is a disorganized mess.  So is my car.  My dogs kept me going because they love me so much.  I walked them and this got me out in the fresh air (I work at home office).  I lost a lot of friends because I had a very hard time articulating my thoughts and petty conversations lost me altogether, I found nothing to say. 

Family support can save a person from sinking as far as I did.  Which was very low (no showers for weeks, gained weight with menopause and lived in my robe for a few years, not a heavy drinker because I cannot tolerate it (severe vertigo after 2 or 3 beverages), but I tried my best to get some relief from my state of mind with anything available, even medical marijuana.

As I sit here and watch the economy collapse around me, and my job being outsourced to cheap labor, I can only hope I am able to maintain an income at home because in this state, I'd not be able to work in public because even now, I get overwhelmed/overstimulated with anything out of the ordinary, agitated, irritatable and feel an urgent need to escape the situation because my mind is unable to process the information, there just isn't enough room in it now. 

I am trying to find myself again.