PTSD

sandraboyd

Hello,

I hope I have the correct forum.  The first year I was diagnosed I lived in a fog. I did my work well, etc.  The second years I "woke up" to PTSD.  I still went to work, but was slower than my usual self.  I explained to my supervisor that I was seeking help for PTSD. ( I have two supervisors in a 5 person lab).  The response was to berate me and tell me that they were trying to understand what was going on with me. Not much understanding on their part. My quality of work is top notch so I have been told by these two people. I am getting help for the PTSD but it is slow going.

Anyone else had trouble at work with supervisors AND coworkers?  The funny thing is my lab director came in and praised me for not making a single error in an entire year.

This may sound silly, but it is eating away at me.  Anyone with similar experiences?  If so, how did you handle this?

Thanks,

Agada

GingerAmy

I actually started a new job during treatment (surgeries, etc..). My supervisor and other bosses have been great and now I am at the end of radiation, but it has gotten "old". Like they feel you should be "over it". Especially in my profession. I am a nursing supervisor in an elder care facility, so we see people who have overcome all sorts of diseases and live to a ripe old age. I don't talk about it anymore, even though my breast and armpit are on fire sometimes. People don't want to hear it.

I totally understand feeling like you woke up in a fog. Many days I think "I am a cancer survivor? WHAT?" I am dealing with depression and body image issues also...this whole thing has shaken me to my core and no one understands except another cancer patient.

My co-workers don't know what I've gone through (I opted not to do chemo, so no hair loss), and I'm keeping it that way. Being their supervisor they don't need to see any weakness in me (in my opinion). Funny thing is, they ask what I do to be so healthy! I think "Are you nuts?" (I see a naturopath, holistic doctor, so it definately is helping!)

Anyway, please know you don't have to be perfect. People are people and after awhile they expect you to just "get over it" like the cancer was the flu. I am here to vent to if you want to send me a message, feel free

Scottiee1

Hi Ladies.....I know exactly what you are talking about.......I didn't have chemo either

so never looked like a "cancer patient".....I was barely finished rads when everyone,

including my family said "great, done, cured etc etc". A few weeks later Inhad a total meltdown......so I went through the summer from hell.....vomiting, nausea, no appetite

And lost a tremendous amount of weight. Finally, went to see myGP who immediately

put me on an anti-depressant and and anti-anxiety med, and I've never looked back.



Yes, people have no idea what we go through nor do they even want to discuss it.

As one friend told me "it brings to light our own mortality"......duh......sorry my friend.....

I/we have to live with that on a daily basis.



I thank God for this place where Incan get support, encouragement, and an ear.



Oh, and I have also let some people and friends "go" .....they were causing me way too much stress, as if we don't have enough of that.



Be well ladies.

CelineFlower

i have PTSD...

but i dont work..

i find the treatments... being around all the noises, the people etc... especialy hard to deal with

and yes... i get that sense sometimes from ppl "get over it"

most ppl dont know... what living with this is like

Scottiee1

Celine.....I am a teacher and was supposed to retire this year(65) but decided to continue

for one or two more years.....best decision I ever made......love my job and the "distraction" plus my meds keeps me more or else "normal"



I felt like you before....became a hermit most of last summer....noise, people etc...couldn't handle it.



I'm not one for taking pills but really, they have saved my life. Perhaps just discussing this with your GP to get some advice.

CelineFlower

ty Scottie

i am taking pills... have been for a few years

since DX , it seems to have triggered me again.

I am on a waiting list for a psychiatrist in my area.. but

when i saw that my cancer med team includes a psychiatrist , i immedietly asked to talk to him so that the team is very aware that my mental health is as important as my physical health.

as for the hermit thing... ya im fighting it...feel like im loosing tho

thx for your warm and encouraging words

Scottiee1

Celine.....perhaps it's time to change your med to another one......our bodies seem to adjust to meds over time.....I managed to talk one lady into asking her Dr for an anti-anxiety med.....she also has never looked back......are you taking an anti-anxiety....if not,

worth discussing...



I had therapy for a short time but although it helped "slightly" the meds did it for me.

Maybe it's time to try a new one. Just a suggestion Celine...



I wish I was a little closer to Montreal.....we could have coffees together in some of your beautiful cafes. Hang in there.

LynnInCalif

I carry a dx of PTSD.  It was within 6 months that my mother died, my brother commited suicide after being dx'ed with brain mets after esophageal CA and I was dx'ed with BC, in that order.  Then, I lost my job (but found one immediately).  Am a single woman alone and that may have contributed to the severity of my symptoms.  Due to the suicide, medication could not be provided to me. I did talk my oncologist into giving my Provigil because I had to continue working.  This med helped me considerably as focusing on the written word was impossible and I am a medical transcriptionist.

The presenting symptoms were similar to being in shock.  I am still not the same as before.  I am numb but cry sometimes.  Energy I have is put toward my job and after that, there is not much left.  My house is a disorganized mess.  So is my car.  My dogs kept me going because they love me so much.  I walked them and this got me out in the fresh air (I work at home office).  I lost a lot of friends because I had a very hard time articulating my thoughts and petty conversations lost me altogether, I found nothing to say. 

Family support can save a person from sinking as far as I did.  Which was very low (no showers for weeks, gained weight with menopause and lived in my robe for a few years, not a heavy drinker because I cannot tolerate it (severe vertigo after 2 or 3 beverages), but I tried my best to get some relief from my state of mind with anything available, even medical marijuana.

As I sit here and watch the economy collapse around me, and my job being outsourced to cheap labor, I can only hope I am able to maintain an income at home because in this state, I'd not be able to work in public because even now, I get overwhelmed/overstimulated with anything out of the ordinary, agitated, irritatable and feel an urgent need to escape the situation because my mind is unable to process the information, there just isn't enough room in it now. 

I am trying to find myself again. 

NSJ2

Hi Sandra

So sorry for what you've gone through. Hope you're doing better and healing.

Have a question. Your diagnosis reads DCIS, but also says you had 2/6 nodes invasion. My understanding is pure DCIS is not invasive. So I'm confused how your nodes became invaded, if it's okay to ask?

NSJ2