not convinced about chemo and all the other drugs?

I am one year out from my chemo, and I am so glad I did it. I just refused to let it interfere with my life. I had my slow and tired days, but I kept on moving. What does your doctor recommend? - Diana  

You have an aggressive cancer.  I had an aggressive cancer.  I always felt good.  I feel good again.

I didn't want to do chemo, but knew I would die if I did not do it.  My Oncologist told me so, and I believed him.  And I watched my friend die who decided against chemo with a similar diagnosis as yours because she "didn't want to feel bad."

Chemo will make you feel bad.  There is no way around it.  And you will want to quit while you are doing it.  Most of us do.  But we continue because we want to live.  And most of us do. 

I have a Blog that I began when I was diagnosed a year ago.  I get many, many emails from women who don't want to start Chemo or they want to quit Chemo.  From most of them I get thank you letters telling me they are so thankful they endured chemotherapy, they made it and are cancer free.  That is the best reward.

One woman told me she told her Oncologist she wasn't going to do chemo.  He pulled a piece of paper out from his desk, then asked her the name of who was going to take care of her 2 year old.  She did Chemo and never regretted it. 

The decision is yours, however. 

Nobody wants to do chemo.  Nobody.  But, nearly everybody who does it says that it wasn't nearly as bad as they had expected.  It's not like the movies.  I don't know what your sister is going through, but I worked as a school secretary during my first rounds of TCH, had my dogs, my sons, my family life, and I just got a bit tired at the end of it.

I am HER2+ too, had no nodes.  And, even with doing my six rounds of TCH and my year of herceptin, my cancer came back.   Who knows why?  None of the woman I started with have had it return.  

But, I am still alive today because of chemo and now I live on chemo forever.  If I had made the choice not to do chemo, I would be dead already.  HER2 cancer grows very fast and very aggressively and without treatment, you are not likely to be around to enjoy all the things in your life you are worried about missing.  Without treatment,   I wouldn't have seen my son turn 15, become a junior in high school, I wouldn't have seen my older son's 25th birthday, i wouldn't have had my new puppy.  All of this would have happened without me.

So yeah, I now have a terminal disease and cancer will kill me.  But, I really love life, as you seem to.  And, I want to live it as best and as long as I can.  So, I have been on chemo for three years now.  I still enjoy my family and I enjoy my life.  Things have slowed down for me but they aren't over.

I think you should give yourself the best chance you possibly can.  Don't look backwards, look ahead.  FYI:  I worked up until this July, 2012.  I started chemo December 2009.  The ONLY reason I'm not still working is my job began at 7:00 a.m. and I could no longer get up that early.  I need more sleep.  But, if I had a job that started later in the day, I could have done it.  I worked as a high school secretary so there was no chance of switching my hours.  You will be able to work on your therapy.

Noranelly, 

You said "I have had 2 scans showing no other cancer so it is not metastic."   Actually, you don't know that.  What you know from the scans is only that you don't have metastatic cancer that is large enough to be detected.  And that's a very good thing.

I recall reading in Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book that 20% to 30% of node-negative women with no signs of mets in fact already have breast cancer cells that have moved out of the breast to somewhere else in their body.  These cancer cells left the breast either through the bloodstream or through the nodes, but there were too few of them to be detected.

It's because this happens that you find women who seem to be fully cured who discover, some years later, they have have mets to the bones or liver or some other organ.  Most women who are Stage IV did not start out as Stage IV.  They started out as Stage I or II or III, with no visible sign of mets.  But by the time they had their surgery, just a few cancer cells had already escaped into their bodies and over time those cells took hold and developed into mets. 

It's because this happens that chemo is often prescribed to women who are node negative and who show no visible signs of mets, if they have what's considered to be a high risk diagnosis.  The role of chemo is to track down breast cancer cells wherever they might be in your body, and kill them off.  When it's just a few rogue cells that have not yet taken hold and started to develop into a metastatic recurrence, chemo can be effective at killing off these cells. Chemo can get rid of these cells and as a result, the patient never develops mets.  But if you wait until you have mets that is detectable on a scan, it's too late. At that point chemo may be effective at stalling the continuing development of mets, but it will not be able to stop it permanently.  

With your cancer being HER2+, you have an extremely aggressive, high risk cancer.  Even though mets is not visible on your scans, there is a significant risk that some cancer cells may have already moved into your body.  Right now, while you have no signs of mets, the combination of chemo and Herceptin can kill off these cells and help you avoid mets. But once mets is detected, chemo can at best extend your life.

I am unclear about your nodal status.  You say had 5 nodes removed, but your signature line indicates that you had 5 positive nodes out of 15 nodes removed.   Your signature line also says that your diagnosis is Stage IIA, and that would not be the case if you had 5 positive nodes.  So I'm guessing that you don't have any positive nodes and the "5/15" on your signature line is incorrect.  Did I guess right?

Have you seen LifeMath?  This doesn't substitute for your discussion with the oncologist, but it will give you some insight into the risks you face with your diagnosis. You can input your diagnosis and other data, and look at the charts both if you decide to forgo any further treatment, or if you have treatment. That will give you an idea of how much benefit you will get from treatment, in terms of improving your long-term odds of survival.  This is the type of information you need to decide if treatment is worth it to you.  Your oncologist should also be able to provide this information. 

Here's the link to LifeMath:  Breast Cancer Treatment Outcome Calculator   You can display the data in many different ways. I find the "pictogram" to be the easiest graph to understand.  

Is it an oncologist that you are seeing on Monday?  

I've never met anyone that wants to have chemo, but with Her2+, you pretty much have to.



I have two young girls and I would do anything the docs told me to do to get to spend more time with them. This year has been tough, but definitely doable.



I wish you the best!

Noranelly, as a newly diagnosed patient, you would still be learning about the complexities of bc. This site is the place to learn. It may take a while to understand. The ladies who have posted here have been living with bc and on this site long enough to give you credible advice.



Keep posting and feel free to ask anything that is on your mind.

I'm sorry to learn of your diagnosis.  

It almost sounds like you're in denial.  It's not the treatment that will change you.  You are already in the process of changing just because of your diagnosis.

I'm a paraprofessional (instructional aide) at an elementary school.  Several years before my diagnosis, a 32-year-old teacher at work had a bc diagnosis.  She had three children under the age of 4.  Over the next year or so, she had chemo, surgery-a double mastectomy, radiation, as well as reconstructive surgery.  She just recently had a hysterectomy.  She took needed time off, and her chemo was done during the summer, but for the most part, she still showed up for work much of the time.  She has the support of the whole community (about 5,000 people) as we all knew what she was dealing with.

Even if you have to take big chunks of work off for your treatment, you need to do it.  It will be a hellish year, but you will get through it. 

Noranelly, I am very sorry for all that your family has gone through. Everyone here will support you as you deal with your own cancer, including if you decide to do chemo.



Please stay in touch. This is a remarkable community.

Everyone gives very good advice. I am worried for your girls, with their mother & aunt both having BC (and grandma w/ bowel). Have either of you thought about BRCA gene testing?

Noranelly, no wonder you are worried about chemo, based on what you saw happen to your niece. That sounds like it must have been awful, and I'm so sorry for her and for your loss of her. But remember, you are not her. Undoubtedly your diagnosis is different, and your chemo regimen probably will be, too. For most of us chemo is unpleasant, but we go on to live high-quality lives. It is an interruption in your life, but it may save your life.

Someone put this up on one of the other message groups and I thought this might be good for here...





"Your relationships are about to change. All of them. Some will get stronger. They will probably not be with the people you would expect. The people you want to handle this well might not be able to for a variety of reasons. Some of the reasons will be selfish. Some of them will be entirely innocent and circumstantial. All of them will be forgivable because no one plans for cancer. Carrying bitterness or anger won't help your recovery. Fighting for anyone to stick with you won't cure you. Those who can, will.



You will be determined to have more energy than you do. You will convince yourself that you are thinking straight, are able to handle all of this and do not need anyone. You will run out fuel. Your body will change first and your mind will follow. You won't lose your mind, memories or sensibility. It will all come back. But, you will be different. You will never have the same sense of self. You should embrace this. Your old self was probably really great. Your transformed self will be even better. Give into what is happening and trust it.



You are going to feel fear. Even if you are normally stubborn, confident and seemingly invincible you will finally find yourself admitting that you are scared of something. Cancer is scary and incredibly confusing. The unknowing will eat at you worse than the disease itself. You'll need distractions. Music and sleep will probably be the ones you resort to most. Reading will become difficult. So will watching TV or movies, having conversations, writing and basically everything else. They call it "chemo brain" for a reason. You will feel normal eventually. Just a new kind of normal. When you feel afraid let yourself lean on those around you. Cry. Be vulnerable. You are vulnerable. There will be time for strength, but never admitting weakness will cause anxiety to mount and your condition to worsen. Let it all out. Yell if you need to. Sing when you feel up to it. Sob uncontrollably. Apologize for your mood swings. Treatments and prescriptions will often be the cause of them. The people that love you will understand.



The people that love you will be just as scared as you are. Probably more. They will be worrying even when they are smiling. They will assume you are in more pain than you are. They will be thinking about you dying and preparing for life without you. They will go through a process that you will never understand just like they will never understand the process you are going through. Let them process. Forgive them when they don't understand. Exercise patience when you can. Know that those that were built for this will be there when you get to the other side and you will all be able to laugh together again. You'll cry together too. Then you'll get to a place where you will just live in the world again together and that is when you know that you have beaten this.



The sooner you recognize that you are mortal, the sooner you can create the mentality for survival. There is a chance you might not make it. Just like there is a chance that you will. Don't look at statistics. You are unique and what is happening inside you is unique. Your fight is yours alone and there are too many factors to compare yourself to others that have had your condition. No one will want you to think about death, but you won't have a choice. You will think about it from the moment you are given your diagnosis. Come to terms with it. Calmly accept it. Then, shift every thought you have into believing that you won't die. You are going to beat this. Your mental focus on that fact will be more powerful than any treatment you receive.



Your doctors and nurses will become your source of comfort. You will feel safe with them. If you do not feel safe with them you need to change your care provider immediately. There is no time to waste. This shouldn't be a game played on anyone's terms but yours. When you find the right caretakers you will know immediately. Do not let insurance, money or red tape prevent you from getting the treatment you deserve. This is your only shot. There is always a way. Find those hands that you trust your life in and willingly give it to them. They will quickly bring you a sense of calm. They will spend time answering your questions. There will be no stupid questions to them. They won't do anything besides make you feel like you are the most important life that exists. They will never make you feel like they don't have things in control. They will be honest and accessible at all times. They might even become your friends. You might celebrate with them over drinks months or years after they have cured you. They deserve your gratitude, respect and appreciation daily. If you get upset at them during treatment know that they'll forgive you. They get that you're going through something they can't imagine- but they understand better than anyone. They see it every day and they choose to be there because they want to make the worst experience of your life more tolerable.



You will need to find balance after treatment. Start by seeking balance during treatment. Eat well. Sleep well. Listen to your body. Explore meditation. Experiment with new forms of exercise that aren't so demanding. Embrace massage and other body therapies. Go to therapy. A therapist will be able to guide you through your journey in ways you could never fathom. Do not be too proud to speak to someone. You cannot afford to store up the intensity of the emotion that comes with fighting a life-threatening illness. Let it out for yourself. You will begin to hear your voice changing. That voice is who you are becoming in the face of mortality. Listen to that voice. It will be the purest, most authentic version of you that you have ever known. Bring that person into the world -- strengths and vulnerabilities and everything between. Be that person forever.



You will inspire others. It will feel weird. People you haven't spoken to since grade school will be in touch. Ex-girlfriends, former colleagues... even people you felt never wanted to talk to you again. The influx of interest in your seemingly fading life will be greater than any living moment you have ever experienced. That support is what will shift a fading life into a surviving one. Be grateful for every message. Be appreciative of each gift and each visit. There will be moments where all of this attention will make you feel lonelier than you have ever felt in your life. In a hospital room full of people with messages stuffing your inbox, voicemail and mailbox you will find yourself feeling completely alone. This is when you will realize that you could afford to have a stronger relationship with yourself. That only you walk this earth with 100% investment in you. Make the investment and use this as an opportunity to reexamine your self-worth. Love yourself more than ever and recognize how much love there is for you in the world. Then start sharing that love. You will come to see that even when you are the neediest person you know you can still be giving. Giving will make you feel better than taking.



When you get to the other side you won't believe it. They will tell you the disease is gone. Everyone you know will rejoice and return back to their lives. You'll constantly wonder if it is coming back. Slowly this feeling will fade, but cancer will always be a part of you. It will define how you see the world moving forward. You're going to feel like the future is a funny thing to think about because the present is going to suddenly seem incredibly important. Keep moving. You'll be more productive. You'll understand who truly loves you because they will still be there. You'll want to meet new people that connect to the newly evolved version of your old self. You'll want to let go of those that don't "get" who you are now. You'll feel a little guilty doing it. Then, you'll move on. You don't have time to waste. The greatest gift you've been given is that you now understand that and you're going to make the most of every second. You're going to be the most passionate person you know going forward. Translate that passion to a greater purpose. Be fearless again.



I was diagnosed with leukemia at the age of 27. Now 28, I have been told I have no trace of the disease in my body.



Jeff Tomczek is a freelance writer and the founder of C2Bseen, offering consulting services to niche brands and entrepreneurs.



Follow Jeff Tomczek on Twitter: www.twitter.com/C2Bseen"

thank u jennt28 your post is makining me rethink my decision not to have any tx.