2012 sisters
Comments
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NYbubbles I know what you mean especially as the TEs got bigger- I tried my sportsbra and got it tangled around the rocks and had trouble getting the dang thing off lol. Thats what I liked about the Genie bra though was being able to step into it and also being able to stuff it so I didnt look like I was changing sizes weekly especially since very few people knew I had bc or a bmx. Since the exchange though I love the tanks with the shelf bras although going braless is pretty much the same.
Allubaddays meant to mention that you get 2 in a box for the 19.99. If you have a bed, bath beyond they always have a 20% off coupon out there or you can sign up for one online to take into the store.
Found this article on memory training interesting-the only thing is I didn't have chemo and have always had issues with names etc long before BC but maybe the tips will help me anyway lol. http://www.breastcancer.org/research-news/20121009
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2FriedEggs- I miss chatting here too and hope all is well with you after your exchange, I'm still reading all the post in the thread, just not posting anything since getting back to work and normal life ( as normal as can be). I'm going to start my herceptin next week for a year, so I'm back in the game for treatment and on tamoxifen now for 5 years. So my husband's cousin who has stage 4 lung cancer has already spread to her brains. That's so damn sad, she's been in pain for 4 months now and they can't find amything wrong with her until last week finally after cat scan and biopsy that confirm it and she has specs in her brain. This damn cancer is just too much!
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I should've moisterized more and probably wouldn't have peeled. I noticed the same thing about break outs - totally stopped!
My sports bras are the hanes ones too and I got them a size bigger and step into them so its not too bad.
Soya I don't think it ever does. I found out about more people having cancer when I was diagnosed. All of them friends or customers. And we all say the same thing - when all this crap is over we are all going out to celebrate!
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Soya... I just read your post and it gave me the shivers. My closest friend at work... her closest friend, who lives in Malta... just lost her mum to Stage IV lung cancer which had metastasised to the brain. My friend told me this morning. Only last week we were chatting and she said that she was telling her friend about me and how I responded to treatment and am doing so well now. Such a shock to their family as it happened so quickly. So sad. I fucking hate cancer.
Soya... sending condolences to you and yours.
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#4; in the chair.... Almost over... Just gotta hold on the next few weeks. Lost another friend sort of yesterday. Said so was exhausted by my cancer because its all I talk about. I guess when you're this miserable it's all I think about. Oh well.
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WTG Juneaubugg, YOU DID IT!!! You will feel so much better in a few weeks and no longer have to dread returning to the BGC. I can remember when you were going thru your decision process and it seems like such a short time ago and here you are at the chemo finish line.
And bah-humbug to your 'friend'. When you have something that consumes your life as much as THIS crap does, it's hard to push the topic to the back of your mind. God Bless the REAL friends who stick with us and listen to us when we need to vent or join us when we celebrate a milestone. No matter how silly... like reaching double digits on my radiation treatments today.. 10 down, 26 to go! -
Yay Juneau and PA!!! Fabulous milestones to reach!!!!
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Juneau- sorry about the person that couldn't hang in your current world. Of course that's what we talk about. It's what's always there. If we aren't talking about it someone's asking us about it. We are here to listen to you and celebrate your milestones with you.
Juneau and paeagle- congrats on your halfway mark with chemo. All you women that are having chemo or rads yall are my heroes. You all are stronger than you know. -
Yay Juneau! You are stronger than you realize. You've overcome and deal with so much in your life so good for you. Keep going!
And that "friend" wasn't really a friend. Just one of those people who flit in and out of our lives to teach us a lesson. Their lesson to you was you are what matters now and people like that don't. But I am sorry it had to happen. I've had people in my life I've had to let go because of the drama they created but still miss them. And that's ok. Right now we have to take care of ourselves.
So here is a little treat for all of us!🍧 (Italian ices always made me feel good during treatment!) -
Right there with you, Juneau baby! Walked out of the infusion suite at around noon today with AC #4 in my system. Cheers to you being DONE! And cheers to me officially at the halfway mark, and being DONE, DONE, DONE with f'ing AC!!! Here's to hoping round 4 is better than round 3 was! PAegales - congrats to you too, and all you others getting through rads and chemo!
Scorchy - thinking of you and sending you big hugs!
Mrscich - sorry about the hair. My boys are younger than your girls, but we included them on the buzzing. Set me up in the kitchen and everyone took a turn with the buzzer. I think including the kids makes it a lot easier for them to handle. And truth be told - I think it helped me too. Turned it into a fun, family activity, rather than a dreaded side effect of treatment. Hang in there!
I'm forgetting others I know. But please forgive me - as the chemo fog has settled over my brain... Hugs to all!
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ramols and Juneaubugg-So glad that its all done!!!!!!! Hope you guys have minimal SEs!!!!!
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Juneau and Ramols - congrats. Agree with what everyone else has said.
Hugs and minimal SE's to all of us.
Just had Rad #4 of 28 and so far all is going as it should.
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Way to go Juneau! You did it and chemo is behind you!
I'm sorry about your fair weather friend. You find out who really has your back at a time like this.
I saw the surgeon today re: growth of the Death Star--I was really worried. Turns out it SHRUNK! Was 4 cm and is now 3.5 cm. Guess my boob is starting to feel somewhat normal in spots and I forgot what that was like. Going to check out rads for mets relief in the lower spine. It's still pretty uncomfortable and I just don't want to take those freaking pills anymore. Blech.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cUNNKzj_NcI can tell it's going to be fun to coordinate these two doctors.
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Juneau, Ramols & Scorchy - all good news! Glad to hear it. Juneau - sorry about (like Scorchy said) your fair weather friend. What is it they say, about people passing in and out of your life - they're not all there for the long run. Sorry this one surprised you. Bummer. Chrisrenee had it right - it's our world right now, and frankly, if we can go 10-15 minutes without having it cross our mind, we are doing well.
I am still doing okay - no taste for food, but not nauseous at least. Hugs to all - and no SE's!!
p.s. Scorchy - I love your little moving things - can you teach me how to do that?
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Great news ladies....Juneau.....I let go of a friend of 25 yrs....I got no support from her
throughout my treatments and all the other crap I went through....It saddened me a lot, but to be honest, we don't need the stress of having this kind of friend....in some sort of
weird way, I am more at peace now she is out of my life. -
Juneau, she can't be much of a friend ... I lost one through this too ... Have talked to her 4 times since my surgery in January and she has not made one effort to visit. We saw each other often before ... It always turned into "about her" ... She was so tired for having to pray for me and others, thank goodness I was ok because she couldn't cope if I got worse .... Do not need the negative people around me.
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I have 3 more to go until surgey too. I went to one doctor and he scheduled double masectomy, but went for a 2nd opinion and wanted to do chemo first to stop the spread (it is in my lymph nodes too). Talk about a long weekend surgery vs chemo first.....I decided to do chemo first, so I went with 2nd opinion because it made logical sense. I hope I am doing the right thing but who knows what to do, and for gawd sake I am not a doctor how should I know. I will sure be happy when chemo is over!!!
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Juneaubugg - Yay!!!!!!! You're done, now you can face almost anything life can throw at you from here on. Don't get too discouraged if you don't recover back to normal as quickly - it will happen. I still had the fatique, breathlessness, and stiff and weak leg muscles for about six weeks before it went away completely. You will probably recover way sooner, seeing that you are way younger than me.
Ramols, congrats to you for finishing this part. May the SE's be kind to you!
Scorchy, fantastic news! Hope that tumour shrinks to nothing soon, and that rads will be a viable option to relieve your pain.
Shockd, keep on doing well, and hang in there.
Everybody else, may the SE's be few, and may you feel better all the time. HUGS to all!
I met Websister in person for lunch today. She is just as warm, kind, gentle and friendly as all her posts on here. She looks remarkably well for somebody who is halfway through chemo. With her cute little purple hat and beautiful neck scarf she was the picture of stylishness. We recognized each other immediately, and it felt so good to share our stories over a meal together. Thanks for driving all the way up here, Websister; it means a lot to me!
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What do you mean by break outs and should have moisturized more????
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Liefie - That's awesome you were able to meet!
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Shockd, yes, it was really very special to meet somebody from these boards in person. She truly felt like an old friend to me because we have so much in common.
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Awesome, Juneau, Ramols, and Scorchy!
I've actually withdrawn from some of my friends because I feel like I talk about cancer too much. It's left me feeling incredibly alone, but I feel weird when I'm asked how I am or what I've been doing, and the only thing I have to talk about is cancer, side effects from cancer treatment, being depressed because of cancer, cancer cancer cancer.
I KNOW I shouldn't worry about this, and I know these friends will be there for me, no matter what, but it's still difficult for me.
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liefie/websister... how wonderful you were both able to meet up - so very special for you both.
As for 'friends'.... you really do find out who are true friends and fair weather friends. And yes this is our life at the moment... cancer, treatments, side effects, emotions.... and is all we talk about.... so suck it up buttercup... whilst we are going through this shit it really is all about us. Wonder how these people would be if the shoe were on the other foot.
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OK girls...I'm needing your strength tonight because I'm feeling weak. I am crying for no apparent reason except that a cry is long over due. Everyone keeps telling me how good I look and how well I'm doing but the truth is that after 10 months I am just sick of all of this. There are actually some mornings I wake up with the thought that I want to skip radiation and just stop going. Of course I would never do that but I am tired of doctors appointments, tired of my ugly left boob that tried to kill me and tired of side effects. I'm also so scared to be nearing the end of my active treatments. My mind is once again going crazy when I was doing so good for so many weeks. What if I go through all of this hell and the cancer is still there?
I'm also very frustrated with my husband that didn't even so much as comment when I reached the half way point of my rads yesterday. I just wanted some encouragement and I got nothing. I really do work to keep a positive attitude but a lot of days its so hard. Cancer sucks and I want it to go away. I realize it will always be a part of me but I would like to get some of my life back.
By the way my boob is sore and itchy and I think that is making me crabbier than I already was. Thanks for listening and for not judging me for being angry and frustrated at having BC. Just wondering tonight why it picked me? I would never wish it on anyone I know and love but why me? Why us? OK...I am officially done venting for a while. I feel better already!
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Since I was diagnosed people have reached out to me that I wouldn't even expect. Sworn enemies from the office, casual friends, acquaintances. In fact, last night my doorman knocked on the door with a whompin cooler in his hands. One of my friends sent me a bunch of frozen meals from Omaha Steaks--sides and all--to keep me fed. Another calls me every now and then to make sure I'm all right. I could go on. I didn't realize how rich my field of friends was, actually. One of my best buds came up for an overnight visit and dusted my house and scrubbed my bathroom whistle clean. My cat sitter stopped by one day to help me change the cat litter because she read on FB that I was in such back pain. One of my colleagues came up to me in the hall and gave me the tightest hug.
But my family? My nephews were just ignoring me. I finally got sick of it and read them the riot act. I told them that I didn't want to fawned over, what I want is to know that I'm loved and they'd better effing tighten it up. Secretly everyone thinks I'm loaded (living in NYC, big job). If only they knew. So I think some of them are afraid I'll cut them out of the will.
What will? BWAH!
I often feel self conscious because I do talk about my illness, but that's also why I meet with you. You understand and you get it. My friends won't understand what it is like to live with a death cloud over you. I mean, you wonder how long you have, ya know? They're the hardest conversations, so I don't have them that often.I'm grateful for all of you!
Scorch -
tina_jason.... Oh! I hear ya... that endless round of doctors... everyday to rads... nurses, techs... when all you want to do is run and scream ENOUGH! But we dont... we come here and vent and rant and we will all join your pity party and bring favours, and martini's and chocolate. Rant away honey... you deserve this, you deserve a cry. Husbands? For mine anyway his frustration is he cant fix it... hey if we ignore it will it go away. Maybe to your DH it isn't a big deal..... to anyone else who doesn't understand, is it a big deal. Likely not. that's why we have here... people get it. Hey I got excited today cos I had rad #4 and no se's yet.
I was at friends for Thanksgiving on Sunday and they went round asking what we were thankful for.... I think they felt a bit awkward when they got to me... I said for my virtual friends who truly understand on BCO - and of course my DH.
Scorchy... your last paragraph is so true.
This board, my greenhouse and garden have kept my sanity.
Hugs and love and sweet dreams to you all.
xxxxxxxxx
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tina-jason-- I think we would all be lying if we said we don't have bad days. Some have them often, some have very few. I think it's very common. I have mine quiet often honestly. We cry thats how WE deal with things. We don't want to be reminded daily from others how we look or how we feel. I know very well how I feel and look. I feel like shit, I'm tired, I'm bloated and on top of feeling like shit, I probably look like shit too. Sorry for the language. As far as Rads/chemo treatment I know you ladies have it ALOT worse than I do as I do not have to have any of that. I've learned to shake my head and nod alot but tune people out when they want to give me free advice on what vitamins and foods to eat. If I wanted your opinion I would have asked them. So to sum this whole thing up, You are not alone. As far as your husband not saying anything about your 1/2 way point on chemo, He probably does not want to say anything if he thinks its going to upset you. My husband got home last night and he has not seen my TE boobs since I've started doing fills, so I ask him so what do you think? His response "they're boobs and they're bigger than what you had before I left. Not really the response I was looking for but I understood that he's really just ready for all this to be over and behind us as a family. So don't take it personally, if it bothers you still sit him down and tell him " hey, i've achieved a major accomplishment and it would have been nice to have some positive feedback on it".
Scorch- gotta love friends who are like family. I've been very fortunate with my experience with my friends/family/coworkers. I've had people tell me that I'm going through the recon process because I'm vain. Hell yes I'm vain, you try having your boobs removed to stop the spread of a deadly disease. Yes, I want fake boobs to fill out a bra properly. My Oldest sister won't really talk about my BC because she still doesn't want to believe that i've had it.Sometimes I want to say " Us girls that have experienced all this we know that there is a possibility of a recurrence somewhere. We aren't stupid we know what our risks are for choosing the "plan of care" that we choose. I knew I was coming out of surgery flatchested. So how about you school me on my disease". Sorry that's my rant. lol
Mrscich- I think it's absolutely adorable that you are going to have your kiddos help in the shaving experience. That way it isn't a big shock when they see mom without her hair. All you ladies going through chemo are my heroes. I don't know if I could have been strong enough to do that, but I was prepared.
Hope everyone's day/night is going well. Hopefully noone is having any SE's.
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Yeah, Chrisrenee, sometimes people jump deep into that denial well. And what do you gain?
Face your fears. You are and you're still living your life. You didn't spontaneously combust!
is right. -
Thanks! This is a best place to be to throw that pity party! Tomorrow I will put on my big girl pants and get out there and keep fighting cancer but today the pity party is not a bad place to be. And yes, Chrisrenee, I did tell my husband that I was upset and he felt bad.
Thanks for listening and allowing me to vent.
BTW- today was day 18 for me for rads. I didn't experience any SE's until the end of last week. I've got lots of good stuff to put on them so I'm going to go do that now before going to bed!
Love that I have all of you to listen and share.
Tazzy- Yay for #4 with no side effects. You go girl!
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Hi gang! Tina, you are my rad twin...going for #17 today and a dr. check. I have been up since 5:00 with the itchys, not on the lubed boob area but on the cleavage area that would be exposed by bathing suit. Have little bumps there like after first big day in the sun. I so get the venting of late. With BC and having had job loss after 6 years thrown at me in the same few months, life is topsy turvy. Instead of waking for work and meetings, I wake now with my only meeting for the day with the RO...quite a different "clientele". Hearing the cliches over and over of when everything happens for a reason and one door shuts, a window opens etc..may be true but the transition and price paid with our bodies and mind stinks. I think our families and friends either dwell on the BC or try to miminze it to go with life as close to normal and we are looking for that target in the middle--- a target that we ourselves move as our needs change. Often then what support may feel right one moment is totally not right to us the next..if you know what I am trying to say. No wonder our BCO family truly gets it all and we are so blessed to have each other!!! Glad to read about all the good news ..hang in there and KCA!!
You can't control the wind, but you can adjust the sails
Dx 7/12/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage Ia, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 07/20/2012 Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Radiation Therapy 09/19/2012 External
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