2012 sisters
Comments
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PS appt went well, didn't get a fill though. I see him again Oct 1 for that. He wiped my nips and said I can shower facing front now. As happy as I am about that, in also scared I will feel it. Ugh. I know I won't and I know it's psychological....blah.
Now to my first Oncology appt. scared, nervous and everything else. I will update you all later. -
There were a few posts earlier about obesity. I'm skinny. My doctor keeps complimenting me about this, as if I deserve a gold star for just inheriting skinny genes. Then she talks about how obese most of her patients are and tut-tuts. Well hello, obesity may be a risk factor, but you've got a skinny patient here with breast cancer! Maybe obesity is not as important in breast cancer as doctors think; it's just a factor that's easy for them to see.
I'm also not sold on "breast cancer awareness." My tumor went from not palpable to 7cm in three months. As I said, I'm skinny (meaning: small, dense breasts). I could be wrong, but I don't think that sucker would have showed up on a screening mammo for many weeks before I first felt it. What are we supposed to do, have screening mammos every six weeks? "Awareness" is fine. Blaming the victim is not.
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good post, stride.... I wish we had a "LIKE" button like they do on facebook. I would click it so many times here.
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Three down one to go. God help me. Fluid IV fusions Friday and Monday. Port removal Tuesday....imi will take my chances on the last one.
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Way to go, Juneau! Sending you good vibes for the next few days. Rest up and treat yourself well!
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Yay Juneau!!!! Lots of hugs your way!!!
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Juneau, congrats on being done with number three. Two more weeks and your last infusion is done.
Despite my rant I am actually doing quite well, I can see the end of the tunnel finally. Other than the fact I went to radiation treatments and picked up a lymphedema sleeve I had a very normal insanely busy 'day off' with my kids. I went for a 3.5 mile run, I lifted weights, I grocery shopped I went to the pet store, I am now at the park where my nine year old takes tennis lessons and the 3 and 6 year old are playing at the playground. Going to Panera to eat, no cooking for me tonight. Then home to collapse. I feel great.
If anything BC has made me want to live MORE. When I look at my life before BC I see that I was in kind of a rut. A pretty good one but still. I remember making excuses why I didn't want to go to the park with the kids or sign them up for this sport or why we should wait to travel or buy a new car. This diagnosis made me realize that we have no idea how long we are going to be feeling good or even just be alive. It is time to LIVE. I am buying my little red sports car (when it comes in in the spring...). I am not waiting. I am going to do everything I can with the kids. I am going to the beach and the mountains and other places with the family. I feel more alive than ever now that the chemo has worn off.
I forgot to comment on the discussion about children and cancer earlier. The experiences really moved me. We have made the biggest effort to make our kids lives as fun or even more fun than before breast cancer. There have been some things they have missed out on this year but I hope that those lacks fade in their minds. I am lucky that I was not severely disabled by any of the treatments or surgeries for long. My mom helped and got them to activities that I wasn't up for during chemo. But it is impossible to erase this time in our lives. As much as I would like too. And there are lasting side effects. I am just trying as hard as I can to beat this bitch cancer and move on. There is a lot of life to live. My dads death was a life changing experience for me, I just have to keep in mind that kids can recover though. I will just do everything I can to win this game and move on with a great hopefully fairly long life. -
http://www.breastcancerdeadline2020.org/homepage.html
This website is worth taking the time to look--they are calling for a cure by 2020 and are asking for signatures for a petition to a the president...most importantly read the report on the state of breast cancer treatment and drugs....not a lot has changed over the years and the SE of drugs, etc. do more to kill us.....
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Also, I find my self less worried about things that shouldn't have taken up so much of my time. I am more relaxed and not sweating the small stuff. But because of that I am also appreciating the small things. I am more likely to let the damn dishes pile up and sit down with my kids and play a game or do a puzzle with them. Those are the important things in life. Not a neat and tidy house (which never happened anyway with three kids).
Let's all do what we have to do and get through this stuff. Kill cancer and move on!
By the way this thread is on page 100! -
jpmom - I'm hitting the "like" button for both your posts. I really want to get to where you are. I know I can - especially after chemo is done. As it happens - my husband and I are at this very moment, planning a quickie trip with the kids in december between chemo and my exchange surgery. No more excuses for not doing great things with them. Just do it! Thanks for sharing.
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This forum rocks - p. 100!
Yes, there is life after cancer. It puts your life into sharp focus, that's for sure. The saying goes that the difference between a rut and a grave is only the depth. So I too find that I am changed. Was in a rut for a long time, almost lived on auto pilot, did not want to try new things or go new places, did not want to change things. Status quo was good enough. Now I realize that there is actually an end to my life. I have no idea how long I may still be here, and this is it, here and now. This is life, not a rehearsal for what will come later. There is no later. Now I jump when my husband wants to go somewhere; before I would often find excuses not to go. I visit people more, I invite friends over more, I try new recipes, see the sunshine, notice more when I walk my dog. I am more aware and awake now than in many years. Went to a jamming session last night, played the keyboard and loved it. I feel alive, and I am grateful for the second chance. Pity it took cancer to make me realize that life is happening here and now, and that time is running out.
You said it, Ramols! Just do it! My DH bought a bright yellow 1986 Chevy Camaro last week on the spur of the moment. It is old, but it's been well taken care of. We are sprucing it up with a little spraypaint, seat upholstery repairs, and some engine overhauling. Then the two of us will drive it all the way up to Alberta for Thanksgiving in October as a gift for our youngest son. It is a surprise for him. We are as excited as children, where before we probably never would have considered doing anything like this. Go for it, I say!
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Oh how I wish medical marijuana was legal here. I think it would have helped me immensely during chemo. Sigh.
I got through all of my appointments today. I was able to do my rads mapping/plan/whatever. It hurt a bit when my RO put my arm in the holster thing but by the time it was all done, my arm actually felt good. It was a nice gentle stretch. My RO did notice some cording and is sending me back to the PT for massage, to break the cord.
I took my assorted creams with me and my RO read the ingredients of each one and said they were all fine to use during rads. In fact, she said they all looked like very good products, and was sniffing them and asked me where I purchased them. She offered me a sample of Aquaphor, but said she personally hated it and didn't recommend using it anywhere other than on the cuticles. (I declined it, I already have a good cuticle cream.
)
I have my first practice run-through on October 2nd, then I start the real thing the following day. I am annoyed that they wouldn't give me a definite appointment time for rads until the day of the practice. The cancer center is only 10 minutes from my work, but I need to coordinate with my employer so I don't have problems. I can go in early or stay late to make up the time, but they're strict about giving attendance points based entirely on when you time in at the beginning of the day. In theory, I could work all my hours but get fired for coming in at 8:15 instead on 8:00 each day. (Even if I made up the 15 minutes at the end of the day.) There will also be a problem if I can't get first appt, last appt, or around my lunchtime. Stressssss.
I also saw my MO. Nothing exciting there. She's calling my tamoxifen script into my mail order pharmacy. She said most people start that after rads but I could start whenever. It usually takes a couple weeks to get a new script delivered; I guess I'll see how I feel when I get it.
My rant for the day: Both doctors were overly cheerful after reading my pathology report, and seemed super duper excited about the LX scar. They both kept asking me if I was happy. Ok. Yes, I am happy that chemo shrank the tumor, nodes were all negative, all of that. Yes, I am pleased with the cosmetic result, my surgeon did a great job with that. HOWEVER. There is really a limit to how excited I can get over the fact that I'm almost back to where I was a year ago. Plus, I'm quite a bit poorer, will deal with SE's from treatment for years to come, and even if I never have a recurrence, I will have fucking CANCER hanging over my head for the rest of my life. Yes, I am very happy, thank you!
*I guess it's good that they weren't glum or ho-hum. I read an article recently about placebo effect, and it said something as simple as a doctor's word choice, phrasing, or delivery can significantly affect a patient's outcome. But I do appreciate some realism. -
Can you believe that we are actually talking about things that have gotten better since diagnosis? I think there is even a thread with that theme...
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Liefie, I agree, it is very hard to be 'happy' about a freaking lumpectomy scar. I hate the way it looks there now. My semi boob. That cancer better freaking be gone! I am not happy about any of this crap that I had to go through. I am no t happy about having cancer and the threat of it returning and lymphedema worries for the rest of my life. Cancer sucks.
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Jpmomof3, as time goes by, and in the greater scheme of things, I think we will find that the cancer experience will fade, and that we will forget the smaller details that still hinder us so much now. I look at my boob with the TE, and I'm wondering if I should even get the DIEP flap next year. Maybe I should just take the TE out and be done with it. I understand that you are much younger than me, and that the semi-boob is not nice to look at. The long and the short of it is simple: It's your boob or your life. That perspective always helps me realize what really matters. You have come so far already, and you are there for those precious children and your DH. As far as threat of recurrence or lymphedema, we have to cross those bridges only when we come to them. May we never come to them! In the meantime, enjoy what you have, and try to find the happy a la Ramols in each day. (((HUGS!)))
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Way to go jpmom.... well said.
Nearly there juneau.
Lots of positive healing thoughts to everyone xxx
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Tazzy, here's to many happy hours in the greenhouse! My DH has one too, he says it is his psychiatrist, and it keeps him sane.
Juneau, only one more left! You've climbed the staircase today. Take it easy now. In three weeks' time you will be FINISHED with chemo! Can you believe it? I'm so glad you decided to do it.
Cottontail, so happy about the negative nodes - that is huge!
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I was diagnosed in March of this year. I thought in the beginning as well it was just DCIS but when I met with a BS she told me she noticed what looked like an enlarged lymph node and scheduled an MRI biopsy. I started out with a 3.5cm IDC with 2 lymph nodes involved. She wanted to immediately do surgery. My sister being a IIIb melanoma survivor had other ideas and took me to MSK in NYC. Haven't looked back. They ran all the necessary scans and said lets start with chemo instead of surgery.
In April/May I did the A/C party. I say party because when I went for my treatments I only brought people who made me laugh and smile. After my second treatment I had my port put in (sucky veins). Happy day! Over the summer I did the taxol/taxotere/herceptin thing. That stunk because it kind of ruined the summer for my kids. Not enough energy for the daily beach trip but they understood.
Now I am doing the every 3 week herceptin and just had my lumpectomy/axilliary lymph node removal surgery. I'll get my results on Monday to see how it all turned out. I am glad I did the surgery after treatment because I don't have too much of an indentation. The tumor shrank to about 1cm. And I really hate this drain. Throw in a couple of "we think we see more tumors and need to do more biopsy's" I am happy to say we are at the radiation milestone.
My hair is starting to grow back and I have 4 eyelashes! Believe it or not they were the last to go and the thing I hated to see go. All my side effects are starting to subside. Tiredness, leg pain, metal taste, nails are growing out normal, etc.
I have my good and bad days. Mostly good. I try to keep my attitude up and take each day as it comes. And if I'm having a bad day that is when those with stock in Ben and Jerry's says a little thank you to me!
So thanks for reading my stories and let's get out there and kick some butt!
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I was diagnosed in March of this year. I thought in the beginning as well it was just DCIS but when I met with a BS she told me she noticed what looked like an enlarged lymph node and scheduled an MRI biopsy. I started out with a 3.5cm IDC with 2 lymph nodes involved. She wanted to immediately do surgery. My sister being a IIIb melanoma survivor had other ideas and took me to MSK in NYC. Haven't looked back. They ran all the necessary scans and said lets start with chemo instead of surgery.
In April/May I did the A/C party. I say party because when I went for my treatments I only brought people who made me laugh and smile. After my second treatment I had my port put in (sucky veins). Happy day! Over the summer I did the taxol/taxotere/herceptin thing. That stunk because it kind of ruined the summer for my kids. Not enough energy for the daily beach trip but they understood.
Now I am doing the every 3 week herceptin and just had my lumpectomy/axilliary lymph node removal surgery. I'll get my results on Monday to see how it all turned out. I am glad I did the surgery after treatment because I don't have too much of an indentation. The tumor shrank to about 1cm. And I really hate this drain. Throw in a couple of "we think we see more tumors and need to do more biopsy's" I am happy to say we are at the radiation milestone.
My hair is starting to grow back and I have 4 eyelashes! Believe it or not they were the last to go and the thing I hated to see go. All my side effects are starting to subside. Tiredness, leg pain, metal taste, nails are growing out normal, etc.
I have my good and bad days. Mostly good. I try to keep my attitude up and take each day as it comes. And if I'm having a bad day that is when those with stock in Ben and Jerry's says a little thank you to me!
So thanks for reading my stories and let's get out there and kick some butt!
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I was diagnosed in March of this year. I thought in the beginning as well it was just DCIS but when I met with a BS she told me she noticed what looked like an enlarged lymph node and scheduled an MRI biopsy. I started out with a 3.5cm IDC with 2 lymph nodes involved. She wanted to immediately do surgery. My sister being a IIIb melanoma survivor had other ideas and took me to MSK in NYC. Haven't looked back. They ran all the necessary scans and said lets start with chemo instead of surgery.
In April/May I did the A/C party. I say party because when I went for my treatments I only brought people who made me laugh and smile. After my second treatment I had my port put in (sucky veins). Happy day! Over the summer I did the taxol/taxotere/herceptin thing. That stunk because it kind of ruined the summer for my kids. Not enough energy for the daily beach trip but they understood.
Now I am doing the every 3 week herceptin and just had my lumpectomy/axilliary lymph node removal surgery. I'll get my results on Monday to see how it all turned out. I am glad I did the surgery after treatment because I don't have too much of an indentation. The tumor shrank to about 1cm. And I really hate this drain. Throw in a couple of "we think we see more tumors and need to do more biopsy's" I am happy to say we are at the radiation milestone.
My hair is starting to grow back and I have 4 eyelashes! Believe it or not they were the last to go and the thing I hated to see go. All my side effects are starting to subside. Tiredness, leg pain, metal taste, nails are growing out normal, etc.
I have my good and bad days. Mostly good. I try to keep my attitude up and take each day as it comes. And if I'm having a bad day that is when those with stock in Ben and Jerry's says a little thank you to me!
So thanks for reading my stories and let's get out there and kick some butt!
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I was diagnosed in March of this year. I thought in the beginning as well it was just DCIS but when I met with a BS she told me she noticed what looked like an enlarged lymph node and scheduled and MRI biopsy. I started out with a 3.5cm IDC with 2 lymph nodes involved. She wanted to immediately do surgery. My sister being a IIIb melanoma survivor had other ideas and took me to MSK in NYC. Haven't looked back. They ran all the necessary scans and said lets start with chemo instead of surgery.
In April/May I did the A/C party. I say party because when I went for my treatments I only brought people who made me laugh and smile. After my second treatment I had my port put in (sucky veins). Happy day! Over the summer I did the taxol/taxotere/herceptin thing. That stunk because it kind of ruined the summer for my kids. Not enough energy for the daily beach trip but they understood.
Now I am doing the every 3 week herceptin and just had my lumpectomy/axilliary lymph node removal surgery. I'll get my results on Monday to see how it all turned out. I am glad I did the surgery after treatment because I don't have too much of an indentation. The tumor shrank to about 1cm. And I really hate this drain. Throw in a couple of "we think we see more tumors and need to do more biopsy's" I am happy to say we are at the radiation milestone.
My hair is starting to grow back and I have 4 eyelashes! Believe it or not they were the last to go and the thing I hated to see go. All my side effects are starting to subside. Tiredness, leg pain, metal taste, nails are growing out normal, etc.
I have my good and bad days. Mostly good. I try to keep my attitude up and take each day as it comes. And if I'm having a bad day that is when those with stock in Ben and Jerry's says a little thank you to me!
So thanks for reading my stories and let's get out there and kick some butt!
-
I was diagnosed in March of this year. I thought in the beginning as well it was just DCIS but when I met with a BS she told me she noticed what looked like an enlarged lymph node and scheduled and MRI biopsy. I started out with a 3.5cm IDC with 2 lymph nodes involved. She wanted to immediately do surgery. My sister being a IIIb melanoma survivor had other ideas and took me to MSK in NYC. Haven't looked back. They ran all the necessary scans and said lets start with chemo instead of surgery.
In April/May I did the A/C party. I say party because when I went for my treatments I only brought people who made me laugh and smile. After my second treatment I had my port put in (sucky veins). Happy day! Over the summer I did the taxol/taxotere/herceptin thing. That stunk because it kind of ruined the summer for my kids. Not enough energy for the daily beach trip but they understood.
Now I am doing the every 3 week herceptin and just had my lumpectomy/axilliary lymph node removal surgery. I'll get my results on Monday to see how it all turned out. I am glad I did the surgery after treatment because I don't have too much of an indentation. The tumor shrank to about 1cm. And I really hate this drain. Throw in a couple of "we think we see more tumors and need to do more biopsy's" I am happy to say we are at the radiation milestone.
My hair is starting to grow back and I have 4 eyelashes! Believe it or not they were the last to go and the thing I hated to see go. All my side effects are starting to subside. Tiredness, leg pain, metal taste, nails are growing out normal, etc.
I have my good and bad days. Mostly good. I try to keep my attitude up and take each day as it comes. And if I'm having a bad day that is when those with stock in Ben and Jerry's says a little thank you to me!
So thanks for reading my stories and let's get out there and kick some butt!
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welcome Karen (of course hate that you have to be here:()
Yes I hated losing my eye lashes and eye brows more than my hair but once they started to grow they grew like weeds:)
Hope you get your results soon from your surgery! Good news that your tumor shrunk!
juneau- yeah! Almost done! One more! It still sucks and we will all be celebrating with you after your last one!
i start back to work on Monday after being off for a few weeks! And I think this is a good thing because I am getting too bored sitting home and unmotivated:(
Have a good night everyone! I have some early appointments tOmorrow herceptin and pt! Wish me luck cuz my vein are looking like crap:) -
Well, I went to meet my Oncologist. My husband and I LOVE her. Which I'm very happy about. 😊
She gave us her recommendations. 😔 6 rounds of chemo (Taxotere and Cytoxan) and Tamoxifen for 5 years and then some other pill for the next 5 years. My Onco score is 24.
I know the decision is personal and is my decision but what would you all do? -
Juneau,
I thought of you all day today. Sending much love your way.
Scorchy
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Mrscich, I wish I had good advice. I see I have a very similar dx and my MO said and I quote "anyone would be crazy to advise you to have chemo"..... but of course, I don't know. Every doc has his own opinion on things. Hopefully, someone will come on with more knowledge then me but I'm sure you'll make the right decision for you....
Juneau, yay that you are almost done !!! You didn't think you could but here you are.... Sending you warm and fuzzy vibrations...
mccook, good for you, going back to work. I think when possible, it's the best thing... I was kind of forced into retirement at 63. I have to look hard for things to keep myself busy or go crazy....
Karen, welcome to the club no one wants to join. You sound like such a positive person. Good for you but remember, if you ever feel down or want to rant, this is the place to be....
Scorchy, nothing in particular to say except I love you !!!
Warm hugs, best wishes and good vibrations from Queens, NY to wherever each of you are
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::MrsCich. First, I would break all of the windows on every storefront on Fifth Avenue! Second, I would burn down a city. Third, if my rage was spent, I'd cross my fingers and make my decision (from the NYPD booking cell).
::Karen, you go! Welcome to what I call the Den of Support. Kick ass and take names.Hugs to all!
Scorch -
Karen, thanks for sharing yours story in its abbreviated mode. I especailly like the hapy A/C party idea and will try to remember that if I have to go there. I also get my results on Monday though my surgery was Sept. 7. I thought about Sloan Kettering or MDA even though we are in Canada as we have insurance that would have worked but I decided being home was more important at least for now. I will look forward to good news on your pathology as I wait for mine.
Marian -
Karen, welcome, and sorry.
Over 3000 posts, we talk a lot. -
Lifie, I really relate to what you said about the rut. I was thinking the same today. I'm hanging by a thread mentally right now, but when I try to imagine what my life would be right now if cancer hadn't happened (i.e. still in my rut) I really can't say I would prefer that. Isn't that strange to realize?
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