In shock

Benny,

Praying for you and sending continuous good thoughts your way. Let us know how you're doing as soon as you can.

Lv

NSJ2

Here's some breathing exercises Benny, to help you relax. Seriously,it WILL help you.

Sit in a comfy chair, no saddles allowed. Relax your entire body, close your eyes.

Breath in slowly to a count of four (count "one thousand 1, one thousand 2 ....)

Hold that breathe for a count of four.

Breath out slowly to a count of four.

Repeat several times until you feel that anxiety leave your system.

Benny, I would insist on as much anxiety meds as I could get. I've found that if I am relaxed enough, my attitude towards pain changes. Eg at the dentist, I find myself thinking that I don't care if it hurts because I'm feeling so high on the gas. I honestly can't remember if I was numbed before my wire localisation or not...but I do wish I'd had a good dose of valium beforehand - I'm sure it would have made all the difference. NSJ's deep breathing suggestion is a good idea too.

After hearing so many horror stories about anaesthesia, I dreaded going under more than I worried about my final pathology. I was sure I'd die from a reaction to it! However, it all went so smoothly.

You often tend to get cold when you are stressed so, if you need to, ask for warm blankets to cover you before you go into surgery - it's very soothing to be enveloped in warmth. I remember being wrapped in a pre-warmed toweling robe and it really helped.

You will be asked a lot of questions before surgery and weighed so they know what combination of drugs and the quantity to use for your anaesthesia.

Praying the whole thing goes smoothly for you.

Jane

Benny, good luck tomorrow.  You'll do just fine!

As for lymphedema, the important thing is that you understand the risk and because you do, you'll take the proper precautions.  There is a risk, but that doesn't mean it will happen. 

One thing that's important to know is that after surgery, your nodal area may be more tender and painful that the pain you have from the surgery. That's normal and it doesn't have anything to do with lymphedema. Be aware too that your underarm and arm may be very numb - and it could stay numb for months.  I only had 3 nodes removed but my arm was numb down to the elbow for 3 months and numb in the underarm area for 6 months.  All normal, and again, nothing related to lymphedema.  One last thing.... As the nerves in the nodal area regenerate, you may experience the occasional sharp shooting pain.  The first time I had one, I just about jumped out of my chair.  The good news is that the pain only lasts a couple of seconds, and it doesn't happen often.  But again, this is normal.  I'm telling you all of this just so that you are prepared for what you are likely to experience.  None of it's awful, all of it is manageable, but it can be very concerning - or downright scary - if you are not expecting these things to happen. So now you'll be expecting it and you'll be able to manage it.    And maybe you'll be lucky and you won't have much numbness, or the numbness won't last for long, and maybe you won't have many - or any - of those shooting pains.  But it's better to be prepared!

Benny good luck tomorrow, just remember this time tomorrow your breast cancer will no longer be in your breast.....it is a great place to start with your treatment....

Right, the numbness is weird when I go to put on deoterant and can't feel it! Pain wise , I never even filled the Hydrocodone rx, just took Tylenol at night and in the morning. Called this morning to see what to do about taking off the dressing. They said to  after 2 days and leave on the steri strips, but I shudn't have any steri strips as I'm allergic to them, and did inform he team! So got a callin to the dr. Never get straight thru, have to leave a msg. Jean

Hi

In shock2

There are no words to describe it.3 weeks ago I was told I have stage 4 bc, mets to lungs,her2 pos, no cure and I will die from it. Everything he said from that point on was like the peanuts cartoon when the teacher spoke(wah...wah..wah). No cancer in family history, don't know anyone with it. How, why,who did this..I have to be prepared to tell my 2 elementary school children something? But what?

Dear Sara 1879,

What a shock that must have been for you! Oh Sara, my heart goes out to you, and I have tears in my eyes as I type this. However, nobody can predict with certainty when somebody will die, and you are so much more than a statistic. Never say never, and don't give up hope. Many women live for years with stage 4 bc, keeping cancer at bay with treatments, defying statistics, and they are such an inspiration to the rest of us. There must be treatment that can be offered to you, and a second opinion will probably be in order if your oncologist doesn't offer anything. As for telling the kids, I don't know what to say. My take would be not to scare them unnecessarily, to give it to them in small portions, and to let them gradually get used to the fact that you are sick. This must be so heartbreaking for you. Hopefully you have a strong support system - husband, family, and friends. You will certainly be in my throughts and my prayers. ((((HUGS)))) 

Sara1879-

How are your kids. Mine are a lite older my son is 8. He just doesn't get it. In my opionion I wouldn't lie but only tell them what they need to know today. Good luck. Keep us posted

Benny, hoping all went well for you today. 

Sara, my daughter was able to be with her family for 6 and a half years. As she said she had a lot of life to live, she was a mom of 3. There's no way this is easy, but hopefully you too will have years with those kids. Jean

Thankyou so much, I now have sisters I can share this journey with. Ridden with guilt, I knew about the lump 2 months before I went to the dr. A friend sent me a couple of good books " when a parent has cancer" and "when someone you love has cancer" the second one is for kids. Still trying to master the lingo and get a good plan in place for the nutritional and excersize. Dx aug 31, started chemo (pax and herceptin )last week. Kids just know that mommy is sick and the medicine makes the hair fall out. That's all I could muster so far. At 8&9 perhaps the books will help find some words.

Sara, just want to share something that somebody said on one of these boards: If you can read and post here, your survival rate is 100%. It helped me so much, and I hope it will inspire you too. Breast cancer has taught me to live in the moment, just for this day, and to find peace, pleasure and happiness in the small things. I have no control over tomorrow, and it is therefore no use to worry over tomorrow. One day at a time, sometimes one hour or one minute at a time is how it becomes manageable and doable. ((((BIG HUGS!))))

Benny, it's great to hear from you.  

Given what you knew about your diagnosis even before surgery, it's not surprising that your doctor is saying that chemo will be necessary. Even if everything comes out as expected, chemo probably would be recommended.  Stage I women sometimes get chemo.  Many women with negative nodes get chemo.  So don't read too much into the comment that you will need chemo.... I'd actually assumed from your first post that you would be getting chemo.  So it doesn't necessarily mean that your diagnosis is any more than Stage IIA (thanks to the positive node that you already know about).  

As for what they found during surgery, the simple fact is that until it's under a microscope, they don't know what's there.  You may have had a number of nodes that appeared swollen, but the role of nodes is to capture infection and keep infection from moving into the body.... so after something like a biopsy, it's very common for nodes to swell.  Whether the nodes have cancer or not can't be known until they are examined under the microscope.  So the nurse saying that they don't know any more than they did before the surgery is actually true - they don't.  

Good luck with the pathology report.  And take it easy during your recovery from surgery.