2012 sisters

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  • Tazzy
    Tazzy Member Posts: 2,546
    edited September 2012

    Greenhouse constructed - I am so excited. DH will be adding the finishing touches, like the floor - paving stones. Had a great weekend watching him build it. He worked so hard while I watched and remembered why I fell in love with him - aaawww. He gets lots of brownie points for this one.

    Welcome outdamnspot - as everyone said, sorry you are here, but you'll find much comfort and love.

    Juneau... I hadn't even thought of the greenhouse to hide behind... ha ha ha!

    Bevg... everything we talk about here is OK - whatever the topic. Better out than in. I hope you can resolve any issues with your Sis. Sometimes I think it's hard for people close to us to understand or even really accepting we have bc.

    Ramols... from the mouths of babes eh?

    Jpmom.. sorry to hear about your LE. That just sucks. Fuck bc !

    Cottontail... happy the pain is subsiding.

    Mcook... your fundraiser sounds like a lot of fun.

    To others I have missed - still thinking of you all and sending happy mojo's your way.

    Of to see my MO this afternoon, having lunch with work colleagues first. Then tomorrow the mapping session. Ready to move forward now. Sooner I start, sooner I finish.

    Wishing everyone a very happy Monday with minimal SE's and tightness

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2012

    Any chance anyone developed a mild but persistent cough and/or burning nasal passages during AC treatments? Can't tell if I have a cold or not (although I've been surrounded by little children cold germs...). Thanks!

    mcook - hang in there with the TEs. You might actually get kind of used to them after awhile. I had surgery July 10th and while I feel them some - I don't feel them nearly as much as I used to. Granted I don't have a whole lot in them - get only 60 cc's each fill, and think I'm up to 300 cc's at this point...

  • Tazzy
    Tazzy Member Posts: 2,546
    edited September 2012
    ramols... the chemo cough - yes I got it and like everything else it passes.  But I haven't been surrounded by snotty, coughy kids Wink
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2012

    lovely... thanks, Tazzy. Just one more thing to love about all this crap! I put in a call to my MO just in case, since I've been coughing for well over a week. But with no fever I imagine all is well. My poor little guy - I totally snapped at him this morning about spreading germs, when all he really wanted was a big hug from mommy. Did I really think a 4 year old would understand about my nadir??? Ah... life goes on. At least the fog from round 2 seems to have mostly lifted. Hope you're all feeling good today!

  • _Ann_
    _Ann_ Member Posts: 769
    edited September 2012

    jpmom, that totally sucks!  I hope the sleeve and the therapy are able to help.  

  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 2,440
    edited September 2012

    Ramols: I had the cough too, as well as a runny nose and eyes. The nose hairs also fall out, right? Maybe that has something to do with the burning, or maybe it is just that the sensitive membranes have temporarily been damaged by the chemo. Glad you're feeling better, though.

    Tazzy: Here's to many happy hours in your greenhouse, and to enjoying the literal fruits of your labour in there!

    Jpmomof3, so sorry to hear about the lymphedema. The sleeve should help. I don't have lymphedema (not yet!), but wore one recently when flying, and did not experience any swelling. Maybe wearing it when running is a good idea. A friend of mine with  bc gets some arm swelling when walking. She says pumping her hand by opening and closing in a fist helps a lot for that. Like you I will be really ticked off if I get it. We have enough to deal with as it is. I am upset because my shoulder and surrounding muscles are so stiff from the rads. Don't want this asshole illness to debilitate me any further than it already has. Screw cancer!

    Mcook, my PS is making sounds of filling my TE some more now that I'm having contraction around it after rads. It was overfilled a little long before rads to compensate for that. The fills were really unpleasant for me too, but if she's insisting on filling me some more, it will be no more than a TEASPOON at a time. I don't know how it has to go in, because it is contracted really tightly. Sigh!

    Everybody else, have a very good day. I'm off to the gym now to see if I can loosen up my frozen shoulder muscles. Want to go swimming too, because I think that will be good too, but the pool is closed for maintenance. Dang!

  • MrsCich
    MrsCich Member Posts: 409
    edited September 2012

    Hi all. Happy Monday!



    Juneau, you got my donation! :) I'm doing a local walk on Oct 13for the Pink Heart Fund (pinkheartfund.org) it's a non profit organization that provides free wigs and prosthetic bras to women and children with cancer. Their office is up the toa from my house. My team is "Kristie's Krewe" :)



    On another note, I have an area my PS calls a blister but it looks more like just an open, yucky area to me. It's at the bottom of my left breast where my horizontal incision and vertical incision meet. He didn't give me my fill last week because if it and I'm thinking he won't give me one this week either. He said to put triple antibiotic and a bandaid on it but today I did my own bandage changes and it looks too big for a bandaid to me. I put nonstick gauze. I tend to freak out and start having panic attacks when I look at my nips and this "area" in the mirror. I keep picturing it turning into a flesh eating bacterial wound that devours my entire boob. Ugh I'm such a freak.



    Anyone else have this "blister" problem? It's not a blister...it's clearly an open wound. It doesn't open my incision but it's still scary. Do I just wait it out??

  • mcook301
    mcook301 Member Posts: 509
    edited September 2012

    Thanks for info about TE and for the most part I can deal with them but what a Pain in the ass! Atleast I feel like they don't look too awful. I expected to wake up from surgery and be so depressed by how they looked. But it was another situation, my Pre fear mind set was worse than the reality.



    I am so pissed about my short term insurance company right now! I have not taken any time off from work until surgery! When I have called them to check status, they have continually said they had the paperwork from FMLA on my approved leave but again said their fax machines were getting worked on last week so maybe that is the reason they still don't have it! I am going to be screwed if they don't process a check in next two weeks! Just me! I have savings but I did not want to dip into that! I guess this is the case but dam it! That was for my house and my trip to Italy not to pay for fucking co payments, drugs, and time off work. I know I am lucky I have insurance but this sucks and so unfair when you work your ass off 24/7 for last six years of my life to have to use my vacation and savings for this Dam diease! Whew!!!! I feel better yelling at my iPad now:) just one other thing to get through!



    so I baked my first ever cheesecake and still in the oven! pumpkin cheesecake and hopefully dam thing turns out ok:)

  • chrissera
    chrissera Member Posts: 79
    edited September 2012

    Hello ladies. Haven't been onin a while, boy there is a lot going on.! I am now two weeks post chemo and feeling pretty good. Found out the chemo worked and the bc is almost invisible by MRI. my surgery is scheduled for Oct 5... lumpectomy with SNB and probable ALND. Then rads and tamoxifen and herceptin. Getting really nervous about it. Hoping I made the right decision to not go MX... I have an appt with a LE therapist before surgery. does anyone know why? any thoughts or suggestions?

    i decided togo back to work between chemo and surgery cuz i felt good and was tired of being home. What a mistake... I feelgood except am really tired at the end of the day. It is different at work. i have been excluded from,my projects because i am going out again for surgery, they dont want to have to fill the void again like when i went out for chemo. And they promotedthe girl who was doing my job even though she justgot a promotionless than a year ago! all because she had to learn my job. I havent gotten a a promotion in 5 years! how is that fair? and now that i am back she will continue to do some of my job probably permanently... ! I cried all day Friday at work. it is too much to handle...FUCKING BC takes everything... hair... lovelife...summer...figure... and now it feels like it took my job...

    Sorry for the vent but no one understands me and how i feel. my husband tries but he fails at sympathy... and sorry for the typos, not used to typing onthe ipod...

    sending big HUGS to everyone...

    tomorrow is another day... maybe my emotions will calm down by then!!

  • MrsCich
    MrsCich Member Posts: 409
    edited September 2012

    Mcook, short term is one that I am blessed with. Mine has kicked in and thankfully, bills will be paid!! Yay! My health insurance pays 80% for prescriptions. How expensive is Tamoxifen and Hercepin? Ugh I hate BC!

  • mcook301
    mcook301 Member Posts: 509
    edited September 2012

    Update on the little girl Maiya - she was diagnosed that her tumor is a Hepatoblastoma and she starts chemo Wednesday :) Poor Nugget! I know how scared I was to start I can't just image how her and her parents are feeling right now! children are amazing on how they handle things so we are thinking lots of positive thoughts and sending her way!

  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 2,440
    edited September 2012

    Mcook: Thanks for the update on little Maiya. It sucks that she has to get chemo, but as a 2-year old she will be blissfully unaware, and will not have the anticipation and dread that an adult has going into this. I know a little boy who had a huge tumour removed from one of his kidneys along with the affected kidney. He was just 18 months old at the time, and received chemo for six months afterwards. It was much harder for his parents than for him, and today he is a normal, healthy, energetic 3-year old little boy. Still gets check-ups reguarly, but his prognosis is excellent. Hopefully it will be the same for little Maiya. The other big blessing in her case is that she will probably not remember any of this.

  • mcook301
    mcook301 Member Posts: 509
    edited September 2012

    liefie- I agree:) they have some great support to help them through all this:)

  • jpmomof3
    jpmomof3 Member Posts: 643
    edited September 2012

    Chrissera, congrats on being done with chemo and especially for having such good news n the MRI. Sorry you are having job issues. So much of this shit just isn't fair. Rant away. That's all I feel like doing these days too. There is just so much to rant about.



    Mcook, sorry to hear about the insurance bullshit too. I am sure it will work out before long but man is it scary and frustrating. Unfortunately if is left to us to be on top of things because no one else will and they make so many mistakes and we just don't need that type of stress on top of everything else.



    I just got measured for a lymphedema sleeve. Yippee. Though I ran 3.5 miles and nothing got worse. I will pick up the sleeve in a couple days. Not sure how much I will use it yet. Just keeping an eye on the pitting skin on my forearm. I will do my manual lymph drainage and keep my arm high. Yeehaaaa. When does this shit ever stop?



    I think tamoxifen is cheap. Herceptin is 10 grand a dose...

  • Cindyl
    Cindyl Member Posts: 1,194
    edited September 2012

    Yeah  Tamoxifen is like $15 a month with no insurance.

  • Moonflwr912
    Moonflwr912 Member Posts: 6,856
    edited September 2012

    Chrissera, the bc did take my job, but I survived. I had too many days off so I was terminated. And, yes its legal, I used up my FMLA, and used up my descretionary leave, and, obviously, my supervisors patience. Oh, well gota just get through it. I don't know what the future will bring, and maybe I should be happy I don't! LOL I just keep chugging along, "I think I can, I think I can! LOL much love

  • mcook301
    mcook301 Member Posts: 509
    edited September 2012

    does anyone ever sit there in disbelief that this is your life? i am so tired of my mind wondering to negative thoughts and as long as I go 24/7 I don't give myself time to sit back and reflect but then there are days like today when I am alone I let my mind think about this reality! I cry and get pissed and feel so alone:( No one but you all can understand what I go through and it seems that everyone just assumes I am doing great because I am done with surgery, chemo etc but they don't understand that I am not fine! I have been through hell! my life was just ripped away from me this year from everything I knew! I am so sick of hospitals, doctors, trying to be strong and everyone saying, you doing great! Sorry just having a moment that was probably way over due! I just feel like no one can understand this. It sucks and I so fucking tired of it! I know I will get through this period but today I am sad:) I know you all understand these days:) so sending lots of hugs! I feel like I am going crazy lately with these back and forth moods and it is tiring!

  • MrsCich
    MrsCich Member Posts: 409
    edited September 2012

    Mcook, I feel ya and you're right, only us ladies on this board can honestly say "I know how you feel". My husband, bless the saintly man I married, catches himself when I am in a mood as you are now and wants to say "I understand" but he's so afraid I flip out on him because as much as he wants to understand, he can't. All he can do is comfort me as I go into a psychotic break down and ramble about nonsense, usually. Let me tell you, THIS WAS NOT ME BEFORE I WAS DIAGNOSED!!! I am cool and collected. Almost alway calm. Now I have to take a nerve pill to go into a Drs office because it's all too new to me. Plastic surgeon? Oncologist? I never pictured me there.



    I know venting in our virtual room helps so feel and we all listen and empathize. I'm sorry today is your day for the breakdown. Mine is coming, don't worry. I have my first appt with my Oncologist on Thursday. :( I know the chances of me having to make the chemo decision is looming and I'm dreading it. Then I hear all of yalls stories a about Tamoxifen and I cringe. I find myself crying and asking "What did I do to deserve this????".



    Im here for ya.

  • mcook301
    mcook301 Member Posts: 509
    edited September 2012

    Thanks MrsCich - ask lots of questions about tamoxifen and share as I have a lot of unanswered dam questions on that one:) sad I hardly even took aspirin and now I have a cabinet full of shit I have had to take or are taking! I hate it!

  • MrsCich
    MrsCich Member Posts: 409
    edited September 2012

    Mcook,



    I had a hysterectomy almost 4 years ago. They left my ovaries. Couldn't I just opt for them to take them now since that's where the Estrogen comes from? Or does it come from elsewhere?? I understand that Tamoxifen can help the ER/PR+ but the side effects that come with it make me wonder if it's a good idea. Everything I read basically tells me that whether it's hormone therapy, taking ovaries, etc stops your libido and that makes me so depressed. I mean, why not, this fucking disease has taken everything else why not that too. Ugh!

  • Scottiee1
    Scottiee1 Member Posts: 2,329
    edited September 2012

    Yup, mcook, I think many of us do, myself included. I try to keep myself busy all the time

    but my therapist says this is not realistic in the long run. To that end she wants me to take an 8 week course entitled "mindfulness" It's all about teaching you ow to live with your fears. I will take the course.....what the hell.....it can't hurt, but since I started on my anti-anxiety med plus my anti-depressant, I'm doing much better. HOWEVER, she says this is not realistic either in the long run. We have to learn to live with our fears, our fears are REALISTIC but we can learn to live with them in a positive way. Not sure about any of it????????

  • SusannahW
    SusannahW Member Posts: 470
    edited September 2012

    Christine, that sounds like a great course-is it given at a local university or hospital?

  • mcook301
    mcook301 Member Posts: 509
    edited September 2012

    Scottie - good advice and my therapist says the same:)



    Mrscich- I know exactly how you feel on the libo thing and I am so worried about that amoung other things.



    I guess I am going to have to accept things I can't control and love what is good about my life (when I figure that out right at this point) When I was married I thought I lost my interest in sex but ha! Just lost interest in him:) dam I love sex! Please tell me I still will!

  • Scottiee1
    Scottiee1 Member Posts: 2,329
    edited September 2012

    Hi Susannah: It's given at our local university....University of Toronto.....somewhere during the course there is a one-day retreat.....doyou think Hawaii is too far for the day.....LOL.....BTW how was the wedding?

  • SusannahW
    SusannahW Member Posts: 470
    edited September 2012

    The wedding was so fun! It was on a working farm, nothing fancy, just a good time.

  • MrsCich
    MrsCich Member Posts: 409
    edited September 2012

    Haha, mcook I love it too! I have stressors in my life of course but in my room, in our bed, all of that disappears and it's my time (and DH of course). It's something we never had to work at, its just always amazing. Thats not something that just happens every day, ya know? That time is already disrupted and I most certainly do not want it to get worse. Blah.

  • allurbaddayswillend
    allurbaddayswillend Member Posts: 355
    edited September 2012

    ramols - I had the runny nose and cough on AC. I almost hadn't realized it but it seems to be going away somewhat with Taxol. I still snort a lot at bedtime until my Benadryl kicks in. It's a common issue with chemo. I have to remember to carry a lot of tissues with me when I go walking. Also, my period didn't stop until after my 3rd AC. I actually had started a period the day before and then got another period 9 days after chemo and I haven't had one since. That was the worst round of chemo so far. Even the 4th AC wasn't as bad as that round.

    MrsCich, estrogen also comes from fat and maybe elsewhere too. My ears picked up on "fat" when I heard that from Drs. BUT You could ask about the oopherectomy and see what your MO says in your case. Mine says he can treat me more effectively if I opt for the oopherectomy because then he can put me on an aromatase inhibitor. My bone density is currently normal so I am a candidate for this program. If my bones were not in good shape for my age (48) he might have kept me on Tamo longer. Currently the plan is tamo until i get the oopherectomy.

    I'm sorry to all of you who are having post surgical troubles, and swelling, and insurance bullshit, and job bullshit, and all! FUCK CANCER!

    Greetings n00bs, sorry you are here but welcome.

  • mcook301
    mcook301 Member Posts: 509
    edited September 2012

    I hope we all have minimal side effect on that one :) bring on all the dam not flashes you want but let's stick that SE! :)

  • Scottiee1
    Scottiee1 Member Posts: 2,329
    edited September 2012

    Allurbadday.....I am 65 and, of course, have gone through menopause before(again now with Letrozole, how lucky am I) but my MO told me that most women who have gone through menopause already(sorry don't know if that applies to any of you) will produce estrogen mostly in their fat cells now. He said for us BC ladies it's important to be at our

    optimum weight .

  • chemochar
    chemochar Member Posts: 22
    edited September 2012

      HI, THIS IS MY FIRST TIME ON THIS WEBSITE.  I THINK MY DOC SAID HE WOULDN'T DO THE SENTINAL NODE THING--MY BIOPSY SHOWED TWO POSITIVE NODES AND DOC REMOVED A TOTAL OF 14.  ONLY TWO WERE POSITIVE, BUT HAD ONE UNDER MY COLLARBONE THAT WAS INOPERABLE.  ANYONE ELSE HAD THAT HAPPEN?  I KNOW THAT'S NOT A GOOD THING BUT, OH WELL, IT IS WHAT IT IS!

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