Unsupportive Husband

I had an unsupportive husband since diagnosis of my bc 1020/2010.  At first he fell apart, stating I was the good one he's the one who has been evil.  This should not have happened to me.  Told me this will be the best Christmas ever!!!!   That didn't last for more than 2 weeks.  See he was mad at me because before diagnosis of breast cancer I lost 50 lbs (on purpose).  Was going to have a tummy tuck and breast augmentation to help them lift up a little.  My husband was very against that.  I told him it was for me.  To make myself feel better.  During the mammo they found the cancer.  He left me a year later.   My divorce was final 7/2/2012.  I have had problems with my reconstruction.  infection, PICC line and 3 weeks ago just lost one of the reconstructed breasts.   I am extremely depressed.  Basically alone,  I have children they don't understand or seem not to care.  My ex texted me last night from his vaca biking trip and asked how I was.  He still comes over to visit me.  Before divorce he kept telling me he wanted the divorce so we could start over and build a new relationship.  I know I went a little nuts after I was diagnosised.  I checked his phone, questioned him all the time.  Got upset over him looking at porn.    \

  As I was sitting in my bed last night knitting a scarf.  Knitting scarf and hat sets for children and few causal friends at work.  Thinking I need to get this done.  I have plenty of insurance money.  But I don't want to leave this world until I am completely reconstructed.  I look like a freak.  I've tried consulting.  I think I need someone to talk to.   Any suggestions sisters???????????

Identtwins,



I feel for you. I feel like my marriage is headed in this direction. I am dreading it. I wonder if you should try antidepressants and counseling. I was able to get counseling through the cancer center. They also have a support group but I haven't tried that yet. My husband is going back to our home in Oklahoma in 2 weeks. I have to stay in Calif for my job so I can keep the medical benefits going. I don't want him to leave, but he's happy to be going back. Wow. In the beginning he cried when I was diagnosed. It's hard when it unravels before you and you don't feel like you can stop it. I hope you talk to your doctor and get some help. Things will look up. I don't know when but they say it does. Hang in there.

Ever since my diagnoses my husband and I argue all the time and it's the most stupid things never have we acted like this before. We have been together for 20 years. I cry alot I am afraid we are heading for divorce. Just last night I asked him what happened to us and he said I don't know Asked him what are we going to do and he said I have no answers. I am so lost and feel so alone.

I need friends.   I feel so alone.  My husband moved out after 30 plus years of marriage.  I was schocked!!  Woke up one morning and he said he was leaving and he did!  I am devastated, we have been through hell and back.  It seems as though after the crash and burn we always fall apart.  Way to much cancer in our family....  Child, mother and now me.   He is at his breaking point, but so am I.  I am seeing a counseler weekly and I wish  he would.  My attorney says he has no integrity and lack of  character.  I was hurt by that because that is not the man that I knew.  Please help, I love him and just think he is at his breaking point!!  I know I am.........Off treatment and lots of chemo errors along the way.  We are destroyed and so broken.