2012 sisters
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ladies who laughed at my one breast still left comment, I swear, I feel like I gotta laugh or I'd be running around screaming and crying... As it is, the femera has my yelling at my loved one's like a banshee then crying like a baby then yelling again, then crying again.... you get the picture and not only do you get the picture, I'm sure some of you share this awful space....
jp, I am so very sorry you possibly will have to deal with lympedema.... It is/was perhaps one of the biggest fears I had. I never even heard the word lymphedema before 4 months ago, but it is part of the education I/we get.... never heard of sentinel lymph node, tissue expander, or dcis for that matter. Anyway, maybe you're wrong, I hope and even if not, I know there are degrees and it is mangeable... I also wonder though. Above the surgical scar which has been opened and closed 3 times, the skin is also a different texture, very thin, sometimes itchy, always painfully tingly and from the middle to the underarm where the lymph node was removed, it's swollen. I have read about truncal lymphedema, the hardest to diagnose.... My PS says no way but he's not knowledgeable about truncal LE I fear. I know it could be regular swelling still from the surgeries but 3 months later? I see the BS on the 20th... I'll ask her. JP, this disease doesn't wanna stop giving no matter how much we tell it to fuck off already...
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Mcook, that guy really sounds like a keeper. You guys aren't even married and he is sticking with you like that and supporting you. If you ask me that is even more significant than if you were married. Keep him.
I am glad that most of us are blessed with great significant others to help. How could we do it otherwise. Well I guess we would because we would have to. Would need to be even stronger.
Juneau. I hope you feel ok to Wear that scarf loud and proud. Not that BC is something to be proud of but we are fighters. Sometimes I feel that this fighter/survivor pink ribbon crap is bs but it really isn't. Those people looking at you, some of them are assholes but I would bet a lot of them have been touched by cancer in some way and would probably be supportive if they were to say something. I actually like wearing my komen race survivor shirt when I go out and exercise. In my mind anyway Its saying I look damn good for a cancer patient!! And I just passed you running haha!! -
Mrscich, if you haven't checked recently get your doctor to check your thyroid. I just learned that BC and hypothyroidism is associated. Plus stress alone can do some of that...
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I'm super scared of lymphedema, too. I feel like it's the most frightening part of this whole thing. I mean, the cancer was surgically removed, poisoned with chemo, and will be zapped with radiation. But now I have to worry about this one SE that I may or not be able to prevent for the rest of my freaking life. Totally sucks.
My left arm has been sore the last couple of days, my forearm just below my elbow. I'm hoping it's just muscle aches because I started using my arm more after my pain pills were refilled. I've also been prone to puffiness in my hands, especially, so I know I'm going to freak out about lymphedema on a regular basis.
I'm also astounded at how sore my leg muscles still are. I stopped walking my mile every day during chemo, then I spent most of five days in bed, and suddenly my legs have forgotten how to do much of anything. Sheesh.
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big favor ... Today one of my best friend's sister's two year old daughter was just diagnosed with cancer.! What the fuck! Please send prayers to Maiya and her family. when she called me and I had no clue what to say to her:( what do you say?
Please someone figure out what the causes are for this fucking diease and get some preventive facts and vaccinations now! None of us should have to deal with this and never should a baby! -
I have had a goiter in my thyroid (hypothyroidism) since well before the bc.... I used to have very thick curly, frizzy hair... the synthroid took about 1/3 of my hair so that now it's totally straight and baby fine
.... From what I read about SE's, the anti estrogen med will take another 1/3.... When you have chemo, (and I am in no way diminishing the experience), it grows back.... when you take stupid meds, I just gets thinner and thinner.... Gotta laugh.... As for the lympedema, they never really explain enough so that we know for a fact.... So we just have to worry and be scared every time a limb doesn't feel right..That sucks.... and almost no one knows anything about lympedema of the trunk... That really sucks....Really, it is wonderful to have a place to just vent and talk and and be angry and sad and sometimes even laugh.... Not many people who understand in the outside world. -
I'm so sorry about your friend's daughter, mcook. My cousin was diagnosed with leukemia when she was two, it was very scary.
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2 years old.... what the fuck indeed. Stop the fucking walking and find a fucking cure. This is bullshit.
Prayers out to Maiya (and I'm not religious).
FUCK OFF CANCER !
Hugs and love to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxx
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oh and mcook... yours does sound a keeper. My dh is quiet too... drives me nuts sometimes... but then he likely cant get a word in edgeways with me chatting all the time
and I agree. I think people are sent into our lives for a reason. I hope you can find it in you to tell him how you really feel. -
Hey Ladies.... Please check this out... i have created a team (inhonor of all of you) for the Making Strides Walk in my region on October 21st: Here is the Team description on the Team page:
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Who are the 2012 Sisters
I was diagnosed on May 18, 2012 with IDC - Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. Searching for information, education and understanding I found my home with an amazing group of women on the breastcancer.org forum IDC/2012 Sisters. We are all in various phases of our BC treatment, we come from all over the world, of differing ages, stage, and phases of our lives... However this virtual family (and we are a family) has carried each other through our toughest moments. We rant, we cry, we laugh and share our experience, strength and hope with the newcomers who seem to get diagnosed and join our growing family daily. So I have created this Team (2012 Sisters) in honor of us all who are in the middle of this fight to (Kick Cancers Ass - KCA as we call it). It is my personal hope that there will be fewer members in joining future forums with new a diagnosis.
Why We are Making Strides
Almost everyone has been touched by breast cancer in some way, so we've decided to make a difference by walking and raising money in our local American Cancer Society Making Strides Against Breast Cancer event.Today 1 of every 2 women newly diagnosed with breast cancer reaches out to the American Cancer Society for help and support. The donations our team raises will enable investment in groundbreaking breast cancer research, free information and services for women diagnosed with the disease, and access to mammograms for women who need them. Our donations will help more than 2.5 million breast cancer survivors celebrate another birthday this year!
Why We Support the American Cancer Society
Saving lives from breast cancer starts one team, one walker, and one dollar at a time. We know that the American Cancer Society is the leader in the fight to end breast cancer. We know that supporting them will ensure that if you need someone to talk to anytime of the day or night, they?ll be there. If your friend is losing her hair from chemo, your mother needs a ride to treatment, or a loved one needs a place to stay when treatment is far from home, they will be there to help.Join us and together we will walk for a world without breast cancer.
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR?team_id=1253551&pg=team&fr_id=47309
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Heading out but will read everyones posts and catch up later. Please feel free to forward the url to your loved ones and join our team to collect more donations. :-)
(((HUGS)))
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McCook, first I will say a little prayer for Maiya and so much hope that the kind of cancer she has is curable.
Tazzy, my husband is so happy if a friend comes over for a walk or a talk as he thinks that may mean he hears a little less of my "chatiness." But mostly he is totally caring. Last night though he made the mistake of calling me officious in the kitchen. I am trying to relinquish some of my kitchen control but he was lucky that just at that moment a really good friend rang the doorbell and he was off the hook and also knew I would have a ready ear for a couple of hours. Jan and I did have a great talk as first time we had got together since my dx. She has 3 aunts and a mother who have had breast cancer so was really quite happy to hear some of my new knowledge.
Juneaubugg, well written and good luck with the fund raising. A team of sorts has started for Run for the Cure on Sept. 30 including me and this after (probably repeating myself) my boys started the ball rolling. No question about how many of us have been touched by cancer and now our own selves too! Hey also wanted to say I like your photo and figure if I have to go the chemo route I am not ever getting a wig and will proudly go bareheaded (at least when it is warm enough) and then embrace scarves. The wife of a guy we know in Istanbul (totally working class family who we have also met - I met him many years ago in the bazaar he slaves away at and our whole family has stayed friends) presented me a with a scarf she had hand emroidered the edges of 25 years ago for her dowry! Her sister in law gave me another one she had done the embroidery on. Can't tell you how touched I was. Sometimes the goodness is people is overwhelming.
Cottontail, this LE business is scary I agree. When I went for my walk today with my iPod, I started doing my exercises along the way and wow, one more task done for the day! I know I look like some crazy grey haired woman but who cares! Multi tasking my son says.
Also I took off the steri strips and my incisions look small and really good - weird numbness in areas but I guess I expected that.
Marian -
oh boy, McCook - that is so sad and so f'd up..... It's the reason I'm NOT religious..... 2 year old babies with cancer negates the whole idea of what religion represents... I don't want to offend anyone but it's how I feel.... I will send love and hugs and thoughts and best wishes that healing vibes go her way.....I mean it with all my heart. I'm 63 so I can live with whatever..... Kids shouldn't have to..... ((((HUgs)))) to Maiya....
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McCook, Mayia is in my prayers. Tell her she has a bunch of internet aunties praying for her, in whatever way they believe in. Also let her mom know all the internet aunties will be sending her the strength she needs to help her daughters.
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mccook - what Moonflower said so well ... and your boyfriend is definitely a keeper and in the right place at the right time for you.
Juneaubug - well written!
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Two year old babies should not suffer.
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Isabelle, I agree. I have a girlfriend and her faith in God is so strong and she has been trying
To encourage me to go to church to strengthen my faith, but it's hard when you hear of babies having to go through this crap. We are adults and have a certain amount of strength, but how about babies and children ....their bodies are still so fragile.....it's not fair...it sucks. -
Juneaubug, forgot to mention, that was well written. Thanks!
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::Juneau
Send me all the liver recipes you have, honey. I've got my shredder plugged in and ready to go.::CathMP
Dammit to hell, you have cancer too. I'm sorry you have to be here--but welcome to the support hub!::Bev
You are right about the decision-making. I feel as if I have taken some backward steps since firing the oncologist. However, I know that in the end this is not the case. I'm so tired of feeling like crap on account of the Tamoxif@#k. But chemo is worse, right? Is it? It's gotta be.I had the crummiest dream the other night: I was in my surgeon's office with some friends rummaging around (!) and I found my PET scan and saw that that all by 2% of my L5 vertebra was riddled with cancer. And then, in the dream, I was calling for the surgeon but he wasn't there to help. Ugh. I hate dreams like this. This is the kind of dream I was having about my boob before I was diagnosed. I think my subconscious is tell me to make a clean break with all of the doctors and move forward.
I cannot wait until I meet with the new oncologist. I feel like I'm in limbo.
Not enough to make me eat liver, though.
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My home nurse looked up my labs. My hgb was low, of course 9.6 but not bad. The surprise is my magnesium was normal. Guess the bean casserole helped. Lots of magnesium in beans, and I was home alone last week anyway. LOL.
Schorchy, so sorry you had a bad dream. I hate those things. My last weird one was flying the jumbo jet while it kept trying to fall. LOL -
Mcook- I am so sorry about the baby. It breaks my heart to hear of kids suffering. You have the heart and tools to help her through this.
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Hi ladies, Funny as I had a great day in the sun at a crew regatta and the first thing I want to do when I get home is check in on my KCA family. Maiya and family...a prayer being said on your behalf! Juneau-how sweet of you to honor us in your fundraising efforts. Hope you all are enjoying your weekend break from Dr's, treatments etc. I have final mapping, tattoos I am sure and the actual first rad treatment all shoved into Weds as they have to hurry I think to keep me within days starting after surgery for me to still be part of that clinical trial. So in the meantime..shall I start the first of the 50 Shades OF Grey trilogy my 25 year old daughter bought me back when surgery was looming? I figure maybe I'll learn something..LOL. My DH might appreciate if I read it as well? Bye for now
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I skipped the wig, too, and just got hats. For the price of one wig I got several hats. Next time I'm at the cancer center I'm going to ask where I can donate them when I don't need them any more. I'll probably keep one to wear when I'm doing yard work or something else when I want my hair away from my face, and donate the other three. I also had fun fleece hats with animal ears made, loose enough to wear when the hair comes back, and those I will wear again. Because that's the sort of silly thing I do sometimes. Now I just need the hair to start growing back!
I started my PT exercises today. A week behind, but oh well. The ones I'm supposed to do mostly use props - a stick, a wall, lying on the floor.
I can't tell if my infected incision is getting better, but it looks a lot less gruesome now that the drain tube and the stitches are gone. It's a lot less puffy and painful already.
Something funny... When I got ready for bed last night, I was almost afraid to take off my sport bra. I had been in it nearly nonstop for two weeks, and no longer needed it to pin the drain too, but it felt too strange to take it off. I ended up leaving it on. I showered this evening and left it off when I put my pj's on. It feels so good to have it off!
Hot flashes are back with a vengeance. Woke up drenched in sweat in the middle of the night. The gabapentin I'm taking for neuropathy was keeping them mild, I hope last night was a fluke. -
Cottontail, I long for the day when I can take this damn sports bra off. When I shower and then my DH changes the gauze on my nips and the bandaids on my 2 blisters, I try to relax and live in those moments without it on. I HATE HAVING TO WEAR THIS SPORTS BRA CONSTANTLY!!!!
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Mcook... My thoughts and prayers go out to your friends. As a mom - it is my worst fear...
Juneau - very inspiring. Thanks for including us all. I just saw my friends page today and saw my name added to her list...
Just wanted to stop in before bed and share my success of pushing past the fog, tying on a scarf and heading with my family to a friends housewarming party. Glad I pushed myself.
Hugs and,minimal SEs to you all. KCA! -
mcook: prayers for Maiya. This disease sucks!
Scorchy: I got nothing... no recipes to shred, just memories of my grandmas cooking. Now a days I'd just buy it at the deli. You can use all my damn test results to feed your shredder though.
Dear All: Our "Team" has already raised $260 in donations in its first 8 hours. If you want to send the link to anyone to donate please do so. Anyway, I'll keep you posted.
On another note, I didn't sleep at all last night. My back is so achy all the time and then the insomnia just got worse!!! I fell asleep at 6 am and woke up at 2pm. Tonight I have already taken my ambein... I need some fucking sleep - hopefully without dreams... lately my dreams suck too!
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Aruba, I have to confess to something. I am on book 3 of the 50 shades of grey triology hahahahaa. I pride myself in reading, if not scholarly books, then at least decent books. This is really crappy. It is written so poorly it will make you cringe. HOWEVER, there is something oddly compelling about it. A fabulously looking man who only knows how to "love" through domination. A young virgin who makes him really love her the normal way but she finds she likes some of his kinky stuff too...... Jeeeeeez.... I'm 63, why am I reading this tittilating stuff.... Be warned, the writing sucks but the subject matter, if you aren't prudish, is interesting....
Scorchy, the only liver recipes I remember from my mom is bland liver and onions. That's it. Just sauted liver with a whole lot of onions in the pan.... blechhhhh..... However, chopped liver on rye at a reputable NY jewish deli...... oh, nostalgia... delicious.... It doesn't really taste like liver that way. Another thing, scorch, that's why they're dreams ---- because they aren't real and you wake up and it isn't true. It probably has to do with fear and it feels like dog shit when you wake up but the good thing is, when you wake up you know it isn't true.... Good luck with you new MO.... We just gotta march forward... I'm on femera, not tamoxifin (older than you)..... It's giving me some mental SE's and I hate it with a passion but just keep telling myself it won't last.... If only my DH were more understanding.... When I get crazy and yell at him, he yells back or at least tells me I'm nuts so I ending up crying my eyes out... hahahahaha..... it's almost funny... 60 years I never was so angry and never so sad.... cancer does funny shit to you....
juneau, your thing was so nicely written. I went to the site. I sent it to friends.... We need to help each other as it will help us too.... Hope you get some quality sleep tonight... and scorchy, hope you have some sweet dreams.
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Happy Sunday all! I just need to scream "I WANT TO SLEEP ON MY SIDE AND WITHOUT A DAMN SPORTS BRA!!!!!!". I long for the day when I can curl up next to my husband again. BC fucking sucks (as if you all didn't know this already). And no, I didn't get any sleep last night. I feel like I have small canon balls in my chest because of these stupid TE's. Waaaaah!
Ok carry on ladies. Perhaps I should put some BGP on. Can I borrow those from the pic that was posted? May be too big but they're so versatile. I could use them as a cover too! -
McCool I am currently on Tamoxifen cause I couldn't tolerate Femera. The Tamoxifen SEs aren't too bad, just going through hot flashes and night sweats again aren't too bad. I refused HRT when I went thru menopause cause it might have increased chances for BC Well that didn't work. Yesterday was a good day went to Century 21 with DD and only bought stuff we needed no impulse buying.
Really upsetting to hear of 2 yr olds with cancer
Cath sorry you're here
Charlotte
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Good Morning!
Mrscich - totally agree with you on that one! I hate the tightness in my chest! If I decide to do rads then I have to keep these fucking thing for six months past
I thank all of you for sending positive thoughts and prayers for my friends niece. I am not sure what they have found out as far as cancer but they found a mass her tummy that turned out to be cancerous. I just can't image how difficult this is for them.
Juneau- love that! Good luck with your fund raising! my sister works for ACS and they have great resources. Wish I was in your area I would so come join:) My family organized a team and did a half marathon this year for ACS and I met some amazing people.
Ramol- hope your night went well
Ahh fifty shades of grey- I downloaded the book to see what it all was about and no way in heck would I suggest reading this in a waiting room:) I just skipped to the sex scenes and my oh my
Last night - I might have over done it a bit:) I went out to watch some music outdoors and everyone was boring and would not dance. of course after two glasses of wine, I decided to strut my stuff on the dance floor by myself. Let me tell you first, I absolutely have no rhythm:) I am usually the first one on the dance floor but I am sure I looked pretty funny because I still can't move my arms much LOL I just did not give a shit and I wanted to dance:) Cancer kind gives you a bit more courage to take risks and maybe at times this is a positive for us? I feel asleep on my sofa and my bf carried me to bed:) thank god he is one strong tall man:)
I really hope all of my sisters are having a good weekend! Sending big hugs! -
Also ,Thanks charlotte - that helps hearing about your experience with tamoxifen:)
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