Fear Factor

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Rachel1
Rachel1 Member Posts: 363
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

Hi Ladies,

Okay, I am having a moment. And that moment has been lasting for days (maybe weeks).  I am 2 yrs. 5 mo. out from dx (IDC, 4.5 cm, 5-7+nodes, er+/pr-, brca2+). I am really scared that my future is going to include a recurrence or  mets. I'm on tamoxifen, I've had a bilat. mastectomy w/ diep reconstruction, and I've had a hysterectomy.  I know I should live my life and be grateful for each day, but (and here is what I'm a bit afraid to say here ..so I'm going to apologize in advance if I hurt someones feelings. It is not my intention) with some of our stage III friends (whom I consider mentors) going on the stage IV, I've been so fearful that that's the future.  I've gotten myself so down and stressed lately that even my incision site is hurting (where the tumor once was). That, of course, scares me.

Anyway, I'm not sure what I'm looking for. Someone to talk me down, I guess. Thanks for listening.

Rachel 

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  • clariceak
    clariceak Member Posts: 752
    edited September 2012

    Hey Rachel

    Sorry you're feeling worried about your future.  It's natural reaction and I think we are all shook up with having long time members of this board progress.  Unfortunately, no matter what board we were on Stage I & II, IBC, etc., we would always have to deal with someone progressing or reoccuring.

    In the first few years after my dx, sometimes I would get so worked up thinking about cancer my ribs would start hurting.  It is so easy to create pain with our minds.  It sounds like your tumor site pain is probably created by stress.

    You are over 2 years out from your dx which is great news.  Every year we move away from our dx, our chances of staying  NED are better.  Try and think about all the ladies on the Stage III 5 years out check-in thread who are still doing well. 

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