Here's what cheezed me off today

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  • k8eekatt
    k8eekatt Member Posts: 9
    edited August 2012

    O MY thank you for this thread.  I was just talking with someone, I talk to everyday, have sent care packages to when they were low on food, listen to, read books they recommend, try to be supportive, and this person told me they did not have the energy to help me emotionally with my bc when I got diagnosed, and tonight when for the first time in two weeks we were discussing something besides their interests, (my other friend's suicidal daughter) I started to get lectured about being a downer, so I said thanks for the reminder to marvel and keep looking up, lets change the subject, what do you want to talk about, they went on and on and on about how selfish and negative I am.  So I said I am sorry I cant keep letting you bully me this way and left, they were shouting how dare you say that to me, I am just telling the truth etc.  Then i was fearful and very anxious about having hurt  their feelings and left them in the lurch but now I am so glad I came here instead of trying to make them feel better after that.  I really need to stop talking to this person at all.  They are unemployed, and basically a hermit living with mom.  I feel sick most days from my medicines, I am constantly busy, exercizing fixing healthy organic meals for my family, serving in organizations, and I need to have reciprocal friends.  Thank goodness for acupuncture its very helpful for restoring my good feelings and energy.  Just as I am taking in nourishing wholesome foods I need to take in wholesome conversations.  Thanks ladies God be with you Good luck with treatment!!

  • k8eekatt
    k8eekatt Member Posts: 9
    edited August 2012

    WTF??? I had a church lady reassure me that I did not need to worry about metastatic disease if I thank god and keep a good attitude I will live on and on even if I am riddled with cancer because she heard of a 90 something year old man who had a lot of cancer and died before he was diagnosed but he always had a great attitude.

  • Leah_S
    Leah_S Member Posts: 8,458
    edited August 2012

    So... if he died before he was diagnosed how did she know he had cancer?

    Must have been the great attitude that gave him away.

    Leah

  • chabba
    chabba Member Posts: 5,065
    edited August 2012

    k8teekat, Glad you found us.  I think most of us have had similar experiences.  Here you will find friends who understand and share your experiences.  I am always amazed at how clueless some people can be.

  • Wren44
    Wren44 Member Posts: 8,585
    edited August 2012

    It was a beautiful day so my friend and I went to our favorite garden store to walk around. All went well until I used the restroom. They had some sort of perfumed "deoderizer" that instantly gave me the one-sided headache that some perfumes do. The headache got worse and worse until we decided I had to get home. I don't know why stores use that highly perfumed stuff in bathrooms. Sometimes I just can't hold my breath until I'm done. We did tell the checkout clerk why we were leaving and she promised to report it to management.

  • macatacmv
    macatacmv Member Posts: 1,386
    edited August 2012

    wren, here's another side to the same story. I went to church today. I aways sit right beside the air conditioner because I am always hot (flashes, flushes whatever.) My son had moved in acouple of seats so that left one on the end. Another woman came in and sat down in the empty seat with such a heavy perfume on, the air was blowing it right at me. But she got cold right away and moved. LOL I would not have been able to breathe. I didn't have much time to be cheezed off. 

  • purple32
    purple32 Member Posts: 3,188
    edited August 2012
    Welcome to my world !

    Why have we banned smoking from so many public places, but still have these insensitive ppl wityh heavy perfumes and colognes allowed to come sit in out breathing space ?
    I hate it !
  • Rockym
    Rockym Member Posts: 1,261
    edited August 2012

    I had to convince my 80 year old mother awhile back that just because she can't smell, doesn't mean we all have to suffer :-).  She was also wasting money on perfume that she couldn't smell so I believe she finally stopped since I haven't had to say anything while she was visiting.

  • Wren44
    Wren44 Member Posts: 8,585
    edited August 2012

    I worked for a health organization for a while. They had an absolute rule of no perfume. Their reasoning was it didn't make sense to treat asthma while wearing something that might cause an attack. Needless to say, I loved that rule.

  • purple32
    purple32 Member Posts: 3,188
    edited August 2012

    I went to  a pulmo doc who allowed his nurses to wear perfume !  I  mentioned it to him once, and he said : " You have to live in the real world, honey. People aren't going to stop their lives to accomodate you.'

    Yep, he was/is right about that , but  I DO think I should be accomodated at a pulmonologist's office ...which Is why I swicthed DRS.

  • Rockym
    Rockym Member Posts: 1,261
    edited August 2012

    purple32, good for you for switching doctors.  I hope they know why you did.  I think after that visit was over you should have told him, Well, my insurance company is no longer going to accommodate you!

    Speaking of insurance... so here is my cheeze.  I had to see a PT for what seems to be mild lymphedema.  I saw her 5 times and then she closed her practice and moved.  I didn't see anyone else because I was too upset about what I was going through and the PT didn't seem to make a difference.

    So, now I'm feeling better and I'm off to a different PT.  I knew my insurance company covered 60 visits... I just didn't know they had to be in a row and within 2 months time. WTF???  I'm hoping they can bill this new PT as RIF instead of LE and call it a new occurrence.  Well shall see.

    Nips Up (one just larger) carry on!
  • purple32
    purple32 Member Posts: 3,188
    edited August 2012
    Interesting, rocky !

    I have posted on the LE forum and am still  'wondering ' if I may have breast/truncal LE.  Dont know yet.
  • Rockym
    Rockym Member Posts: 1,261
    edited August 2012

    purple, is your treated breast, underarm or back more swollen then before treatment or surgery?  LE can occur from surgery alone and then the chances supposedly increase with nodes taken out.  Then chemo and/or radiation can also add to the chances.

    Some ladies have it subside with massage, some with compression (like a good sports bra) and others use more professional garments that are specifically for LE.  I'm still working at getting the treated breast back to its original size.  If we can figure out how to do that, then I'll be able to manage it better for the future.

    Also, LE is something that ALL OF US CAN GET ANYTIME over our lifetime.  I only thought it was from needles or a blood pressure cuff and I also thought that after a bit we were "safe."  Nope.

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 16,882
    edited August 2012

    Rocky that's a word that's scary now---"safe" we don't hear it very often. and it's not trustable. LOL

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2012

    OK, I have to share this with you. I was in a store and a group of teenage girls kept looking at me and giggling. I finally asked them what they found so funny and one sassy miss said." Why do you draw your eyebrows on?" I started to tell her ignorant butt off but instead decided to scare the @#%$ out of her with honesty. I said, " During breast cancer treatment, my eyebrows fell out and never came back. I've been told that 1 in 5 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer. You'd better hope your eyebrows are ALL you lose." One of her friends smacked her on the arm and said, "%$#@, Dina, my grandmother had breast cancer. You're such a stupid a#$hole!" I laughed all the way home!!!!! It was kinda mean but at least I got one laugh out of BC!

  • purple32
    purple32 Member Posts: 3,188
    edited August 2012

    Rockym

    I have not had chemo or even rads. After LX, the breast was swollen and I was told it was normal.  The swelling has subsided a lot.  100%????   I am really not completly certain...who can recall PRECISELY the size before ?  I woiuld say if not 100% then very close . I dunno'.   It's more that presistent pinkish area  that had NO surgery or tx ( under the nipple)  that just sort of nags at me every time I look in the mirror.,  It was NOT there 1 week or 2 weeks post op.  It introduced itself late in May and has never gone.

    What I REALLY would like to know is if you ladies who have breast LE get mammos and especially " Diagnostic " mammos ( they REALLY squeeze.)


    I m scheduled for one soon, and IF this could be LE common sense tells me it would not be so wise to squeeze the living hell out of it , no ??

    THX for any replies at all!

  • lintrollerderby
    lintrollerderby Member Posts: 483
    edited August 2012

    rohanna: It was not mean at all. Your post really made my morning. I'm SO, SO glad you said something to them and didn't just let them go on with what they were doing. I'm absolutely positive that this will impact some, if not all, of the girls in that group. Job well done!

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2012
    Thanks, Lin. I used to just duck my head and slink away or burst into tears. But now I'm quite the smartass. I may be only 5' tall, but BC has brought out my inner warrior! Hope you're doing well!
  • Reality
    Reality Member Posts: 782
    edited September 2012

    rohanna - You go, girl! I used to ignore people and then cry about their rude comments and stares. Not anymore. One idiot stared at me as he drove through my d-in-law's apt. parking lot. He wanted me to know he was staring as the jerk did not look where he was driving - he just drove and stared at me. Real intelligent in a parking lot full of kids! Anyway - I asked him what he was staring at - he responded with, "You, Dike". 

    At that point, I took my baseball cap off to bare my bald head and said, "By the way, I am not gay, but what business is it of yours if I was! I'm a cancer patient, you ignorant a##!"

    I still cried later, but darn it felt good to yell at him. Some of the neighbors applauded me... 

  • Reality
    Reality Member Posts: 782
    edited September 2012

    Here's another one...My ex-"boyfriend" (sounds like an odd term at 58 yrs. old), of 15 years, only had one question to ask me upon my return from my post-op visit to my BS: "So, when is your hair going to be back?"

    I responded with, "I don't know - when it grows back".  His dumb-a** response: "Didn't you ask your doctor? Why didn't you ask her?"

    The jerk is a guy who feels that looks are SO important - I always had long, thick brown hair and I looked like I was in my 40s. He could not handle my chemo-look. I told him I knew he would never be able to handle my new look now - short, wavy, frosty-gray hair, in addition to looking my age!  - Not to mention my distorted breast! 

    This was only one of many examples of his insensitivity - I decided, a year ago, that I just do not need people like him in my life - I have not missed him for a minute!  

  • chatter99
    chatter99 Member Posts: 49
    edited September 2012

    My realtor forwarded an email to me yesterday. It was about lemons preventing/curing cancer, being 10000 x stronger than chemo, etc. sent to her by a doctor (not a medical doctor, rather environmental or such). I replied to realtor that this info was presented with absolutely no scientific research to back such claims. She replied that thIs client of hers is really smart and has 2 Ph.D's. I replied I'd be happy to be a guinea pig but only if she guaranteed to pay my kids $500,000 if I died. Silly of me but she really upset me. An additional claim, made by said realtor, was about a client who used oral marijuana for pain and her spine mets disappeared. I'd be interested if any research backs this. I cannot let this type of thing get to me.

  • Stormynyte
    Stormynyte Member Posts: 650
    edited September 2012

    Chatter, the pot cures cancer thing drives me nuts. But I now have a good reply for that. You know who Cheech and Chong are? Chong famous for being an  active pot smoker, was recently DX with cancer. That usually shuts them up about that one. 

  • coraleliz
    coraleliz Member Posts: 1,523
    edited September 2012

    I get pissed off anytime anyone tells me of dietary cures. I take the "long way around" to avoid a coworker who did this. I wish it was as easy as sitting around smoking pot & eating lemon bars. Can't really remember what it was like....maybe I do remember the lemon bar part, had one last week(OK 2)

  • Reality
    Reality Member Posts: 782
    edited September 2012

    I live in the Adirondacks. The woods are full of mushrooms so the latest claim of cancer prevention and cure is mushrooms. Not the getting-high ones, just all kinds of mushrooms. It is illegal to harvest mushrooms in the Adks., but many people are jumping on the band wagon and getting all they can. The locals don't buy them as they are everywhere - but the harvesters are selling them for a lot of money in Albany. I really hope that people are not foregoing science for myth and not getting the help they need.  

  • Reality
    Reality Member Posts: 782
    edited September 2012

    ...additional note to my previous post - I never realized how many medical=practioner=wannabees there were until I was diagnosed. I know they are trying to help, but "duh", would they take the chance on fly by night cures if they were diagnosed? The most ridiculous claim was that chemo is part of a conspiracy between the govt and drug companies just to make money. I will admit that the cost of chemo is outrageous, but conspiracy? Really? I asked that person what kind of mushrooms they had been eating!!

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2012

    Reality, you rock! Keep it up! And congrats for kicking all the negative people out of your life. Don't you feel a little lighter?

    Having a little trouble typing. I smoked a lot of pot, ate some 'shrooms, got the munchies and now I can't see the keyboard! Oh well, the lemon bars got the keys all sticky anyway. *sigh* Just kidding! I wish all the "I just read about a cure!" doctor-wannabes would just SHUT THEIR PIEHOLES! Oh! Pie! BRB!

  • Reality
    Reality Member Posts: 782
    edited September 2012

    Good a.m. rohanna - Too funny! Thanks for starting my day with an awesome, laugh-out-loud post. Yes, I feel SO much lighter! 

  • Rockym
    Rockym Member Posts: 1,261
    edited September 2012

    rohanna, sounds like you have your sass back :-).  So here is a cheeze that worked out in the end... I'm pulling out of a spot at Costco (the happiest place on earth) and this guy in a big truck obviously wants my spot.  The only problem is that ass wipe won't move his vehicle so I could leave that parking row.  He sat there, stone faced without moving while I had to maneuver myself out without scratching our vehicles.

    So, what do you think happened??????  Someone behind me pulled into my spot while he sat there.  Instant karma buddy!!  Also, great teachable moment for my kid.  He's seen the results of karma, but not like that :-).

  • BlueCowgirl
    BlueCowgirl Member Posts: 667
    edited September 2012

    Chatter99 and others,

    I am not going to tell you marijuana cures cancer - yes, Chong does have cancer, not to mention the fact that Bob Marley died of cancer! However, there ARE numerous legitimate studies showing that cannabinoids (components of the cannabis plant) have anti-carginogenic effects, shrinking tumors and preventing mets. Treatment using injected cannabinoids is not available yet - still being studied, and mostly in coutries other than the US. There is also a lot of anecdotal evidence of cannabis oil fighting skin cancer (topical) and other cancers (oral) but to date there has not been a study published. However, considering the anti-proliferative properties of cannabis, it wouldn't surprise me if the oils were helpful for some people. Here is a link to a recent study regarding cannabinoids and cancer that was published in the British Journal of Pharmacology. If you go to www.pubmed.org and use the keywords cannabis and cancer (or even cannabis and breast cancer) you will find hundreds of studies done around the world that are very promising and support the need for further research.

    *I* find it annoying when people have a knee-jerk reaction to cannabis therapy rather than keeping an open mind. In my opinion, Chemo doesn't "cure" cancer either - if it did, no one would be dying. However, it certainly helps in many cases. I am hoping the same will be true for cannabis-based therapies in the future. Certainly more gentle on the body than chemotherapy. 

  • Stormynyte
    Stormynyte Member Posts: 650
    edited September 2012

    I've read a few studies about hemp oil as a cancer treatment. Works in a dish in the lab so far. I agree, it could be a viable treatment someday, but it's not right now. So I will still tell my sisters lil pot head friends to piss off when they try to convince me that me if I get high with them I will be cured.

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