Starting Chemo April 2009

Lesley so good that you are happy with your new shape. It really means a lot. We can put up with a lot of discomfort if there is a reward at the end. Hope you don't have too many problems with that drain coming out.

Betsy - yes, the weather was perfect. And Rainier was out in all its glory. Amazing.  IF I ever have time, I will try to learn how to post some pictures on here.

So the client moved the web launch to next Thurs. That buys us some (much needed) additional time. But it gives me a whole 'nother week to work like mad.  It is now 11:34 PM and the client and I are emailing back and forth RIGHT NOW. Yeesh.

Yes, surgery after all these years IS a hard thing to face. My stuff feels like a long time ago.  I am glad that we are here to send love and support while Judy and Helen go throug  this stuff. I'm sure there are other threads where women can offer more concrete help/advice. But NOBODY knows and loves you like the April 09 gals do.  You know what they say about old friends...we're like gold, right?
 

Congratulations Helen!!! So happy to read your news and what a lovely name! Wishing you all so much happiness!

Lesley, sorry about your drains, hope you are ok. So pleased to hear that you love your new shape.

Betsy, good to hear from you, sounds like you are keeping busy! Enjoy all your company.

Amy, I am extending my good wishes now till next Thursday and I hope that all goes well. Of course you have my good wishes indefinitely .

I am definitely worried about surgery, but knowing that I can come here is a true comfort. Pure Gold!

Geri, hope you are ok. Titan, it has been a while since you have come by.

Sending you all hugs, Judy x

Congratulations Helen!!!!!!!



Judy, if you are doing the flaps where they do not move muscle I can personally tell you that I was able to lift my arms and wash my own hair faster than when I did the silicone implants and if any of you tried implants and they failed this has hurt far LESS than the two infected silicone implants I had.



It is still surgery so you will be a little fuzzy and sore, but compared to the other things we have been through it is worth it if you are committed to having "breasts" again. I say it that way because I have a few breast cancer survivor friends who have opted for no reconstruction and I feel it is completely an individual choice. I am a peer navigator through the hospitals here and just because I want to put myself through all of this I am very aware it is not the choice for everyone and I completely respect each person's position of what is right for them. We all have the right to feel good in our own skin after what we have been through, whatever that translates to.



Have a great day and weekend ladies!



Lesley

I feel great Judy. Not ready to run around quite yet still sore but mobile and happy! One drain came out early but I think I will escape needle aspiration I will know more when I see the local plastic surgeon monitoring me on Tues. That puts me at 3 weeks.



I wish I had the tummy procedure I am so jealous of all the bikini stories wink, wink ; )



I did a Zometa, a biphos ( apple wants to auto correct this grrr) like Boniva for osteoporosis, clinical trial for 3 years and had to have a bone scan today - required at the end of the study. Had a CT scan on my entire mid-section for my flap surgery so I know I was clear but sheesh the bond scan waiting was nerve wracking ! I guess they did not want me stressed all weekend so they called and I am all clear.



Everyone is different and my MO does not routinely scan even though I would prefer the annual all clear....or early catch if anything ever came up.



So as I say the "gift" of all my failed recon was at my 3 yr anniversary of cancer free I got a CT and bone scan and I am ALL CLEAR. Love my stage 3a beating the statistics so far!!!



Have A great weekend ladies! I will touch base after my 3 week check : )



Lesley

Geri



Big hugs on the end of your relationship. 64 sheesh you have plenty of time to still find a companion and my guess is that for all of us after BC we will be selective in a different way if we cross that path.



I ended an 11 year marriage about 1-2 years before my diagnosis. My tumor was pretty large so I am certain I probably already had cancer while married. No family history so no mammogram before 40. As for regular self-exams....well it is easy to be distracted when you are not in a healthy, happy relationship.



I have always said it really is better to be alone than be in a relation ship and be lonely. This is especially true for us women who are natural caretakers. I am sure you have often put your choices and needs/wants on the back burner.



So the silver lining is you no longer have to do this AND sometimes when you are just living your life and pursuing your dreams things just happen.



I will be thinking of you as you start this new chapter. It may be rough at first, but remember you are a tough cookie!!!!!



Have a great weekend!



Lesley

Leslie, thanks for the encouraging words.  I am sure that things will sort themselves out - just an adjustment for me.

Judy - I'm very sorry to hear that your mother-in-law has taken a turn for the worse.  You are always my cheerleader, so let me be yours, and tell you that you are a kind and gentle person, and your children and husband are so fortunate to have your sensitivity as you all face the loss of a woman who obviously means so much to everyone.  I can't take away the sad feelings, but as you always say, we are all here for you.

Geri

Judy - It is with much sadness that I read your last post.  The main thing I have learned about you in the last three years since we've 'met,' it is the love of and commitment to family that is so important and central to you.  So this can only be a difficult and painful time, especially as you are separated by distance.  I also can see that it is challenging for your children both in regard to their grandmother, but also because they connect it to you as well.  I think it might be important to remind them that while many diseases share the same umbrella name of 'cancer,' they are actually many different diseases and what happens in one situation is NOT connected to another.  

Your warmth and caring side has shone through SO CLEARLY in these past years. It is sort of amazing how much we can see one another's hearts through this online experience. When Geri characterized you as 'kind and gentle' in her post above, those are the EXACT same words I would have chosen.  Love will get you through this, you know that. But it is never easy. Sending a hug across the WHOLE WORLD to get to you today.

Geri - again, same as i wrote above, you will get through this, but it is not easy. 12 years is a long time to share with someone, married or not.  There is a country song out now that I hear sometimes  - I just looked it up - it is called A Little Bit Stronger, by Sara Evans. I like it because the chorus says Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger.  (I'm sure you can find it on youtube if you want to hear it.)  I think about the cancer journey when I hear it, and how each day, whether it feels like it or not, I am healing a tiny bit, getting a tiny bit stronger.  And for you, the same thing is true.  I hope your growing stronger/healing process from this is as easy as it CAN be.

Two close friends of mine are facing imminent back surgery for totally different reasons. Both should be fine, but it is still scary.  It reminds me that we all face physical challenges as we get older, somthing that never hit home to me when I was strong/healthy 51 year old with not a care in the world. Now it seems like stuff is all around me. I am much more compassionate now than before all this. That is one good change. I will support them the best I can.

Didn't work Sat or Sun AT ALL. GOOD FOR ME! Feel refreshed and ready to go into tomorrow. This will be THE WEEK - every day crazy until we launch on Thurs. I appreciate all the support from you ladies. I will let you know how it goes.

Love to everyone - and you, too Lesley, who I don't think I ever personally said 'hi' to. I'm glad you're back with us.

Amy 

Judy, so sorry for your loss. May her memory always be a blessing.



Amy, hope all goes well with the website. I'm sure you have done a wonderful job on it.



Geri, so sorry you are going through this major life change. You and I are the same age. Sadly, I have given up on finding a partner - I just have not had any luck in that department. I hope you do better if that is what you want. But better to be alone than be in a bad relationship.



Babies and moms and dads are all doing well.



Lesley, Titan, Betsy - hope all is well.

Judy, so sorry for your loss. You have said so many nice supportive things to me 3 yes ago in the midst of chemo and recently so I only wish I was there to give you a big hug and let you cry or share stories of happier times, or both. I KNOW you will be taking care of your family in this difficult time but don't forget to take care of you!



Amy I thank you for your kind words and feel the same about all of you! You also were there for me. I just regret my absence the last 18 months in my "race for new breasts". Between work and surgeries and trying to live I lost touch, but my recent reconnection has been so great.



This site has supported me through treatment and honestly I would not have known about my recent reconstruction option without the wonderful ladies here.



I can't say enough about this place and encourage ladies newly diagnosed to come here. The support here, especially early on, is so valuable. I am very active in my community and Junior League so I have become the local BC "expert/mentor/go to resource" not that I really wanted that : ). I did go through the peer navigator training through Univ of California - Davis which is a designated cancer facility



Have a great week ladies! See the

local plastic surgeon today she is

a gem. Cross your fingers I don't need any aspirations on the left side where my drain worked itself out early AND I can get this drain pulled on the right. So hard to find good clothing to camouflage drains in summer clothing....



Lesley

Hi all, thanks for your wishes and kind words.

The funeral was held in London on Wednesday and I flew there for the day. I didn't book the ticket till Tues night till we had the time for the funeral confirmed. I left the kids here. It was definitely the right decision for me to be there with my husband. It was very sad.

I landed back here early Thursday morning and went to work. I was very tired by the end of Thursday, but slept well last night. My husband if flying back here today to complete the 7 days of "shiva" (mourning) here at home. One of his brothers is coming back with him.

We have been inundated with food and help from friends and neighbours. I am overwhelmed. And also by all of you and your continual support and kindness.

Wishing you all a good weekend, hugs as always, Judy x

Judy



Thinking of you in this difficult time. Hope your family pulls close and can enjoy the weekend despite the circumstances! Hugs

Geri, that is indeed upsetting news. You certainly have enough to deal with already. I'm so sorry. But I am also hoping that this is one of those situations where the angiogram and stent do the trick. Keeping my fingers crossed for you. Please keep us posted here and let us know how we can help.

Geri



Huge hugs. Sorry to hear of this recent challenge with your heart Please keep us posted!



Lesley

Hi All,

Thanks for the good wishes and prayers - I am counting on them.  Just finishing packing a bag in case they do a stent, in which case I stay overnight.  That would be the best case scenario  If the stent is not possible, I may be looking at open heart surgery to increase the blood flow.

I spoke to my oncologist today (not the original one, who, if you remember I did not feel a good relationship with, although I stayed with him until chemo was done), and she confirmed that Adriamycin combined with Herceptin, can cause damage to the left ventricle even years after treatment.  Of course, it is a small percentage of people, but it looks like I may be one of the unlucky ones.

Amy, the breast surgeon, the oncologist who treated me and a 2nd opinion oncologist, all recommended ACT and H.  I had the feeling it had to do with my age (60 at the time) and the ER and PR+ plus grade 3.  I can't be certain why they all agreed on this regime, but you know, you pick what seems to give you the best shot at beating the cancer, and then hope the side effects don't end up being worse.  Look at Robin Roberts - another unlucky one.

I am trying just to face one thing at a time.  It is strange not to have Kevin here, but I haven't spoken to him in a week and haven't seen him in a month, so I don't want to call him and say "hey, guess what - I have heart failure now".  So, fortunately, I have wonderful brothers and sister-in-laws and my daughter who lives nearby and my older daughter who is not geographically close, but is a support, my friends and my work people who are wonderful, and of course all of you who have been there through the darkest days.  I am very lucky and very grateful.

I don't know when I'll be able to get back on, but as soon as I can I will let you know how things turn out.

Till then,

Geri