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Anonymous
Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

Just wondering does anybody have sisters or family members that repeatedly tell you they are "worried" about your health?  I have sisters that have said that, and of course, it makes me more apprehensive when it shouldn't.  They blame stress as contributing to my BC and are convinced I should be just as worried as they are.  I'm 3 yrs out and doing ok (at this point anyway).  What should I reply to them -- thanks but worrying about me will not change anything? 

Shelly

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  • SelenaWolf
    SelenaWolf Member Posts: 1,724
    edited August 2012
    I'd say that they are the prime reason you are stressed out!

    I had to ask my family to quit asking "how do you FEEL?  No, I mean, how do you REALLY FEEL" every time they saw me.  Made me think that they were just waiting for me to keel over at their feet.  It was obnoxious and I, finally, had to say so.
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  • bak94
    bak94 Member Posts: 1,846
    edited August 2012

    Congrats on 3 years! Tell them that them telling you that they are worried is stressing you out, and if they think that stress contributed to you getting cancer then they should stop stressing you out! Good luck:)

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2012

    Selena - I think you're right that they are prime reason for stress.  Actually, with so much bc in my family history, I think they are scared it will get them sooner or later.  One is a heavy smoker but I wouldn't be surprised if she lives to 100 ! I am going to tell them quit worrying.  My son says "don't worry until there's really something to worry about."  He is half their age and sounds the most sensible & optimistic. 

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  • 116
    116 Member Posts: 108
    edited December 2012

    I would tell them, "Yes stress is what causes BC ..... soooooooo if you do not stop worrying about me, YOU too are certainly going to get BC from all the stress that the unnecessary worry about me is causing YOU!" :):)

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2012

    Giddyup- good one! I'll try it out --

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  • everyminute
    everyminute Member Posts: 1,805
    edited August 2012

    Say "And I am worried about you also."  Usually causes them to realize that it can happen to anyone - and they go away. 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2012

    Everyminute:  Well I do say something almost like that to them.  I usually say "I'm praying for you too" and they don't quite know what to say after that !!  LOVE IT.  I just don't appreciate it when the doctors tell us we worry too much and then because they follow the nccn guidelines, they don't catch second or third recurrences, because they don't feel further testing benefits us.  If anyone is like me, I had no clue whatsoever I had stage 3 tumor and even mammo, PET nor MRI saw the size.  If I say more, I'm sure I'll regret it --

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  • lanagraves
    lanagraves Member Posts: 596
    edited August 2012

    It is frustrating. However, it's a double-edged sword. I don't want them fawning over me, but it gets frustrating when they completely ignore and minimize the diagnosis, too. It would be nice to know they cared.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2012

    I just have to tell people, do you think you're helping me by telling me about your relatives & friends that have died from BC?  I would hope that would be enough to make them shut up. It's bad enough when people close to us say stuff, let alone dumb doctors with no 'people skills'.    

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