2012 sisters

Wow bev...sorry I seemed to have struck a nerve; and I totally agree that out health care (or lack thereof) is crap! I have a PILE of copays, etc my table and honestly just don't give a fuck right now. They will get paid slowly over time. There is no interest and they aren't going to put the cancer back in me.



I know you've had a totally horrible time since your surgery and the fact that you have to go bankrupt to pay for this glorious experience just adds insult to injury...literally!! I am sending you some BIG HUGS and keep my 2 cents to myself. What the heck do I know anyway. I'm not a Dr (who had to go bankrupt to pay for their education!). You're right our system sucks!

(btw just because written words dont always come across as spoken in my mind FYI I am not being sarcastic in any way.)

Bev: it's all good. I knew it wasn't directed at me personally. :-) we are ALL going through enough crap... And that's what we are all here for, to go through it together so by all means vent anytime you may need (I sure will)!



;-)

Hey everyone.  Welcome another woman to the fold: diagnosed July 19.

I've written a lot about my story on my blog, but speaking out isn't the same thing as speaking with.  I hate that we have this thing in common, but there it is.

I've just started the journey and the game plan is to take Tamoxifen for 16 weeks, have the lumpectomy, and them chemo.  I could have reversed and moved the pieces around, but my surgeon believes that once the tumor shrinks he will be able to offer me a much better cosmetic result with the lumpectomy.  You know, on one hand I say "I dont care," but on the other hand I say, "Eff you cancer.  You're not going to make me wonkier than I need to be."  

Choices.  Always choices.  I just keep thinking: a year from now this will be behind me.  And I sincerely hope behind me forever.

Wishing you all nothing but the very, very best.

Scorchy

Welcome Solteria and Scorchy, sorry you are joining us



Ramols - I smiled when you described rescuing your kids from your father who was teaching them to fly paper airplanes out second story windows. How was your MO visit?



Tazzy - sorry to hear about the infection and that drains are still in, glad you have your Zen spot to retreat to, hope you have a good weekend in spite



Juneaubug - I feel like you are just a few days ahead of me in your chemo journey, good to see that things are getting better for you.



McCook - hope you can relax and enjoy the weekend, never thought I'd say this but most of the time don't give the missing boob a second thought, too busy dealing with everything else and know that eventually, if I choose to, that I can have reconstruction. Thinking of you.



Bev - hope all things wound related resolve quickly, sounds like the wound vac may be the way to go



Jpmomof3 - I was thinking of you during your shift yesterday, hope it wasn't too busy or exhausting for you



I found myself exhausted yesterday and finally succumbed to it. Tried a walk with my husband and only did about a third of the normal route, yawning frequently throughout. Went to bed at 08:30 and only up for bathroom breaks twice, slept to 08:30 a.m. Feeling a little less tired this a.m. but not looking to jump any buildings in a single bound. This afternoon we have been invited to a neighbourhood barbeque so I will pace myself this a.m.

Hope you guys realize how much your posts mean on both the good days and the not so good days.



Take care, everyone

I agree, we have amazing stories and great writers here.

I am doing ok healing wise, still weirded out that I look so ....I guess the weird is wiped out when I wake up. Al,ost 2 weeks post exchange. Hard tI think my body will be my real partner ever again. Sigh. Well, my new wig looks better than my old one that had a Crisis. Off for a walk to get coffee and try to perk up.

Hi Everyone

Been lurking for a few days. Some good info some that is scary to me. My readers digest story...  dx  dec 2011, ovectomy then mastectomy with TE installed this past March. then a break until quite a few weeks of radiation, didn't know that radiation could have such a bad effect on the final results.Finished the radiation, making regular visits to the ps for expansion,ps wants to make sure he has plenty of material to work with, so hopefully I will only have one more fill then will have the implants put in. I am really looking forward to getting the bricks off my chest.  Currently on tamoxifen and going thru my second round of hot flashes and night sweats.                                                                                                                                                 Took a day off from everything yesterday and went to the beach, that was the best treatment I have had since this thing started.              

So glad I found you guys.

Ditto, welcome. If we have to do this at least we can share here.

2fried - you cracked me up with the visual of braiding your arm hairs. We went to a pool party today and I had my hubby try to help me out with the electric razor to see if he could make any more progress than me. No go... I'll just have to wait for it to all fall out during chemo.

Mcook - hope you're having a good time this weekend and can forget some about what is coming up. Not sure if you're opting for any kind of reconstruction as part of your surgery. But I can tell you that I debuted my TEs (with 3 fills now) in a bathing suit this afternoon and felt pretty darn good. I could see the scar from my left side peeking out a bit from the side of my bathing suit top - but I think I'm the only one who would have noticed it. And while I felt slightly self conscious - because I knew what was really going on under my suit - I didn't really spend any time thinking about what was really missing under there. I don't think I'm explaining it too well... But I think the point I'm trying to make is that as much as I thought I would miss them - I don't. They were cancerous. So good riddance I say. I know we are all different and have different levels of
attachment though. So I hope you can find some peace before Thursday arrives.

Tazzy - sorry to hear about the infection and the drains remaining. Hopefully that will all clear up for you sooner rather than later. Try to enjoy your weekend!

Bevg49 - every time you share more of your story I want to reach out and hug you (and smack your doctors - even though you say you like them). I hope things start getting better soon!

Jpmom - hopefully you get some good rest after your long work shifts, and are feeling good!

Websister and Juneau - hope you're feeling a bit better. I won't be too far behind you. Have to wait for the schedule to be finalized, but it's looking like 8/29 will be my start date. 4 rounds of AC, followed by 4 rounds of taxol, with the herceptin
worked into the taxol rounds. I loved my MO and her nurse - both lovely. Lots of info to absorb - but nothing I wasn't expecting to hear. Will hopefully get my MUGA scan done this coming week, and get this show on the road the following
week. My anxiety level seems to have calmed a bit and I feel oddly energized. Ready to grab this next phase by the horns and obliterate any troublesome, sneaky bastards that might have escaped my surgeons reaches.

Oh - and the nurse confirmed I do in fact have cording and gave me a prescription for some physical therapy. Argh! Just what I need - more appointments to eat into my days... This cancer crap is so darn time consuming!!!

To all of you new ladies who have joined us - everyone says it, because it's true: I'm sorry you have to be here but we welcome you with open arms. You've come to the right place. Here's to hoping for a restful night sleep for everyone and one more lovely day this weekend. Sending bigs hugs to all of you!

ramols, thanks so much for what you said.... I need a hug .... lol.... I sound pathetic and feel that way some time. It's funny you say yoiu wanna smack my docs. I have friends who say the same thing, like there has to be someone to blame for all this. Truth is, I don't know if there is or isn't. PS was there for me every second. During the 2 emergency surgeries, I believe I came close to "the other side" once or twice... He was there every morning at 7:30 like clockwork. He was there within 20 mins. both times I needed the surgery. He was in recovery at 10 p.m. after the surgery when I was soo very bad off. He was ther 2:30 A.M. to check then 7:30 for rounds. Did he do something wrong? Did the BS? I'll never be able to figure it out but shit happens and mistakes are made and I can't let myself think about it. Before I stopped working I worked in law offices as a paralegal. People are too litigious. That's why docs can't get malpractice insurance and part of the reason why we pay through the nose for our insurance. I don't know what caused me to bleed and I don't know why my scar opened and won't close. I do know it sucks a lot and I'm just trying to be patient...Oh, and I also have an appt. this Tuesday for PT. No LE thank God and no cording but range of motion sucks according to BS.... Well, she didn't exactly use the word "it sucks" but you get the drift hahaha....One more thing, have you noticed that we have so many New Yorkers here? Scorchy and charlotte both new ones... Welcome to the club no one wants to join, ladies. Where in NY if I may ask and where are you being treated? I live on the Queens/Nassau County border and had all my surgeries (haha) at North Shore Hospital.... My BS, PS, now PT are all in Great Neck, NY....

Juneau ,ramois,Bev, Cindy - yes to all you said. I was feeling waa waa tonight, my incision had a tiny bit of pinkness above it tonight, I did wear a diff (and awful) bra I will never wear again (sports bra post exchange 24/7 but I only had one so I bought another one, turned out to be too tight and flat but it is hard to find something that fits.) i called my PS. He said probably just surface irritation from bra but to start antibiotics again. I called pharmacy, they are closed!!!So I hope it us nothing and tomorrow is soon enough. DH out of town.



I went to a b-day party of someone from work. First party since summer started, me and the wig. It was fun but there us that underlying surreal feeling. Is this me? Where did my body go?

I think Ativan will be my friend tonight.

Yeah California, it's hard to find bras that work...  and other clothing too.  Basically, nothing that I wore before cancer fits well now.  I've lost about 25 lbs, a good thing, but, all of my weight is coming off my waist and but.   I've lost 2-3 pants sizes.  Again a good thing, but I need to replace everything.  My top half is another story.  Bras that I wore before my lx are still 2-3 inches too small.  I'm still so swollen on the surgery side. Both front and back.  As for the tops, well, they are tight on the surgery side, and loose on the non-surgery side.  If they have sleeves, the sleeves are too tight, especially on the surgery side, but also on the non-surgery side.  Gah.  I need all new bras and compression type garments to try to get the swelling under control... I'm hoping cooler weather will help with that.

Then there's all the emotional stuff, including stuff that has nothing to do with cancer.  We are in the midst of a dispute with a newly former employee.  Ordinarily, I'd leave that sort of thing at work, but he's been on my mind all weekend and it's really torking me off.  Must put him out of my mind or, I'll never get to sleep tonight. 

Bah.

Well I'm headed for bed, it's late here, almost 9:30! Yawn.

Rest well everyone!

Juneaubugg you crack me up! I'm a born again Christian, and I try
not to cuss, but who wouldn't going thru all this crap?!?!



I went to the Ohio Concealed Carry Course today. IM CERTIFIED!!! Just wish I could shoot cancer's ass!!!



I read that the most common age at diagnosis is 61, which I am, but most of the ladies on this site are so much younger than me. Even some in there 20s.



We've been praying for the brother of a man in our church. His name is Jim. Family kept telling him to get the spot on his face checked out, but he kept putting it off. It turned out to be cancer. He has surgery on aug. 31, and they have to remove one whole side of his face. I was looking in the mirror a week or 2 ago, thinking about mastectomy, and I told GOD, " I'm feeling down because Im about to lose a breast and this poor man is about to lose half of his identity." I grieve for him, but I still grieve for my breast too.



Have a restful night ladies. Thanks for caring.



Paula

Loading dose of Herceptin at first TCH took an hour and forty five minutes. I have Herceptin weekly for the first 18 weeks. They say 45  minute infusion when it is Herceptin alone. Thats not bad. Just enough time for a catnap!  

Welcome to all the new folks here!  Sorry for the reason but know this is a great bunch to share, vent and kick cancer's ass (KCA) together! I am up at 4:30 AM with allergies for second night..sneezing my head off, waiting for the zyrtec to work.   First place I head is to these boards...SO GLAD I HAVE YOU ALL HERE! 

 Soteria25..I'm a fellow Buckeye...son graduated from OSU last year.  O..H..