2012 sisters
Comments
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Juneaubugg, it seems the toilet is your new best friend - LOL! Have you tried Immodium? I had the opposite problem, and it was ba-a-a-a-a-ad, how bad I will rather not disclose here . . . it's too embarrassing. Sincerely hope you will begin to feel better today. You are talented, Juneaubugg. Maybe after all this is over, you should put all your posts together in book form, sort of like a diary of this whole miserable experience from beginning to end. Something almost similar to the Briget Jones diaries? What a fascinating read that will be - Cancer Comedy! I will be the first to buy it, seriously. I'm not joking.
Websister, positive thoughts your way too, and I hope your SE's are fading fast. Love your name - that's exactly what we all are.
Seeing my PS tomorrrow for the first time since the last TE fill three months ago. She wants to assess the effect of the rads so far, and check up on the TE. Will also discuss when exchange surgery will be. Also have a follow-up with rad onc tomorrow. We live three hours away from where they are, so always try to schedule appointments on the same day - easier said than done. Hubby and I will treat it like a nice outing. Will go for a lovely lunch on the waterfront between appointments, just enjoy the glorious weather, and celebrate that this FML (hahaha!) experience is over. Now if the hot flashes from the Tamoxifen that I started two weeks ago will let up . . . LOL!
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jpmom - love the new avatar, you look great! My buffs came in the mail the other day and my hubby had a very fun time trying all the different options on my head that is still full of hair. Ah - the fun side of cancer...
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Ramols, the headgear was fun in a way. I know you can't be looking forward to the hair loss but in a way I was glad to just have it done because I knew that it was inevitable. We have to do it so why not have some fun colors and accessorize! I also knew that with the hair falling out that I knew the cancer was unhappy too.
I never used my wig and I am about to take that and all my scarves to the cancer services store here as donations. I am a little superstitious though and am surprisingly reluctant to part with them. Can't help thinking if I keep them that I won't need them again. I know it is ridiculous but I have had a lot of ridiculous thoughts lately. -
Jpmomof3, we all have those ridiculous thoughts from time to time - part of the 'new normal', I guess? I've adopted two mantras recently that I keep repeating to myself. No.1 - Worry won't change the outcome of anything, so stop it. No.2 - Don't worry until you have something to worry about. If I keep on telling myself this long enough, I will eventually get these thoughts under control. I hope.
Ramols, have fun with the headgear. We may have cancer, but we can still be stylish, hey? Go for it!
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With the tequila, weed and vicodin we girls could have some party eh?
PAEagles... wishing quick heals to your friend. Yes we are shocked when males get this disease. Positive thoughts his way.
Moonflwr.... What a lovely idea of starting a thread for men - do you think they would open up like we do... maybe as it's pretty anonymous and so very private.
Lost... busy times for you. Please keep us posted on how the rads go... well me anyway as I have that joy to come.
Web - ha ha ha - see you ‘behind'.. great visual. And I agree those who worked and had young ones... phew!!
Jpmom : great new avatar - that hair gives me hope that soon I'll be able to go topless. Maybe the younger you are the quicker it grows back and you are waaaay younger than me. Ridiculous thoughts are allowed... sheesh - the make most of my day up sometimes. And you will not need them again !
Last couple of days I have been so tired 12 days after surgery - have been in bed by 8pm cos laying horizontal felt way better than sitting up. Plus been getting headaches. Anyone else get that??
Wish those with SE's sending KCA vibes and wishing you all a day filled with love and laughter.
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Dear Tazzy, you've been through a lot lately, and your body just needs to rest. I still go to bed early some nights, because I just want to lie down, like you said. Did not get the headaches, so can't help you there. I hope they go away very soon.
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I am not a very patient patient and I am good at telling everyone else to listen to what their body tells them, but for me, it just pisses me off. I was getting dressed this morning and kept telling myself to cut me some slack. So thanks for the reminder liefie I must keep telling myself what I have gone through this past 8 months - grrr !!!
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Tazzy I can send you my stuff then you can just veg and watch some TV and crave some nasty fast food:) That might work
I think I will go to surgery on the day of --- smoke some wacky T and run around with my ass showing! At least I would be showing the craziness I really feel right now and not trying to put on the front of being this strong independent person that everyone assumes of me!
JP - love the photo! I am finally getting some eyebrows and eye lashes back! I am excited not to poorly attempt to pencil those in anymore as I usually end up looking like groucho marks with uneven brows! Not sure if I told any of you but I attempted to put fake eyelashes on one day and ending up almost gluing my eye shut! Thank god for my BF and his patiences with me as he tried to help as I just sat there bitching up a storm. I just wanted normal eyelashes for a day but we ended up laughing our asses off at him trying to help me and the mess it was.
I am going like a mad women today so maybe I will take some drugs to help calm my ass down! Why do I feel like I have to get everything done before surgery. I have jumped my BF every second I can, trying to micro manage my team at work so I can make sure everything is done, trying to clean and get my house in order, boarded my dogs, and trying to figure out a time to go shopping for clothese to wear after surgery. Where do the hell do I fit in drinking cases of wine before weekend:) This is what I get for being so dam independent my whole life! Really hard for me to ask for help.
God this sucks! But I am glad I have found you ladies to keep me going and somewhat sane!
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mcook - I think we all did some kind of 'nesting' before our surgeries... its what we do. Need to have our house in order plus it keeps us busy. I did chuckle about the false eyelash incident. That's what I want to grow back more than anything... hair on my legs begone with you.... move to my brows and lashes
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Tazzy - I will let you guess where my dam hair is growing the fastest! I am going to let that shit grow LOL
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Tazzy and Mcook, I'm just so glad the hair on my head started growing back before the hair on my legs. I would not have been a happy camper, to say the least. LOL! Hair is coming back everywhere now; I've always been a hairy beast.
As for my eyebrows, at my daughter's wedding on July 5 they were at their thinnest (go figure!) with lashes almost non-existing. That make-up lady had her job cut out for her, and she did a wonderful job to make me look pretty. They have come back, but I now have an open spot smack in the middle of my right eyebrow, and the hair that is coming out is sticking out in all directions - what the hell? I suck at pencilling it in, was never good at coloring between the lines anyway, hahaha!
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LOL I should have posted a photo with my attempts of drawing between the lines. By the end of the day yesterday after appointments one of my fake eyebrows had rubbed off so that was even better
I did not notice till I got home. Man I wish I had a personal attendent at all time to do my makeup. Wouldn't that be nice
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mcook.. wanna know a secret to keeping on penciled in eyebrows... when done, spray some hair lacquer on a tissue and lightly dab the eyebrow... wont budge
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taz - well shit now someone tell me this:) Thanks I will get some of that
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Tazzy as bad as my efforts at brow making are, um, rubbing them off is probably the best thing! LOL.
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2 hours PFC!!
Can't wait to be saying weeks. Am awfully tired and worn out, but happy.
One black eyelash the rest are short and blond.
Thanks for the tip re keeping the eyebrows on. When you said you rubbed one off it reminded me of people leaning in and saying ah- there's spinach in your teeth. Instead they say oops - you lost one of your eyebrows. Lol -
Jp... Love the new avatar! I'm getting hair extensions as soon as mine will be that long! (of course its just about to fall out next week so I've got some time!
Gotta tell you all..... SMOKE THE JOINT! I smoked for 25 years for no reason and it made me feel better.... To bad I abused it so much I can't smoke at all now, but for the queassies....... It's the best!
D5.... Headache.... Still..... Slept all day, not much least night. TE still hurts. short term disability runs out next week so back to work on the 27th. I get 4 weeks without pay for days as needed for treatments.... FMLA laws.
Dads here. he is going to take my DH out for dinner when he gets home from work. -
Nkb, congratulations on finishing chemo - what a good feeling! I wish you an SE free last cycle like I was so lucky to have.
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Nkb, glad you made it through the last one. Hoping for small SEs for you. Juneau, I would say too bad you have to go back to work,.but I just got my termination letter. I was gone too Long, used up all my FMLA. And discretionary leave. *sigh* I was kind of expecting it, but it sucks. Well, I am allowed to reapply, but probably not at my.previous rate. On the other hand, I don't have to feel guilty about looking for a different job. I am also trying to get disabilty because I can't walk too. We shall see.
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LOL Juneau I would love to but too late now as I am done with Chemo:) Not sure they would approve of it bf surgery but maybe after
might calm me down a bit and I do hate presc drugs with a passion! Most med like pain killers don't go well with me so I have tried really hard not to take them but I will rethink this after surgery:)
Just spent 20 minutes trying to get my dam eyebrows straight! No luck so I wipe off an going wo again. One is always higher than the other and I walk out and say to BF, do they look even and he kindly chuckies and say kind of, then I scream at him wtf is, "kind of":) He will never help me again, poor fellow!
Sorry to hear about your termination at work moonflwr - but I believe things happen for a reason and maybe you will find a different kind of work/passion when you feel up to it:) I hope that I can realize that work that has overcomed my life for last 9 years will change for me and my goal is to make a change when I figure out what I want to do when I grow up:)
To everyone else have a good night - I have dinner with some friends
Hope everyone's night is blessed with no pain and no SE's!
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congrats nkb on being PFC... the only way is up.
mcook... remember eyebrows should be sisters.. not identical twins
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Nkb, congrats on being PFC. That's the best you have the worst behind you now!
Tazzy love the tip for the eyebrows. I am getting them back but they are just a shadow so far and still need to draw them on...
The hair in my legs never freaking stopped growing. Fell out everywhere else though. The nether regions and the pits started growing back very quickly after the last chemo but then my pits really thinned out. wish the head hair grew back as fast as the rest. No complaints there...
I am going back to work after being out for four weeks. 12 hour shift and we are short handed in a big way, not really looking forward to it. -
Tazzy, at the moment my eyebrows are not even close family, let alone sisters.
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LOL love you ladies, I THINK I might not lose my eyebrows with 4 txs of AC- I hope not, I am incredibly uncoordinated as it is.
moon...i already have a new job as of November 5th, but need a paycheck until then so I'll put on as much time as I can at the current one, I'm blessed to have such a problem.
slept all day and feeling slightly on art this very moment.... Of course this can change at any second.
Getting bored so thats a good sign right? Everyone has a life... Mine is focused on getting better from getting sick! Cat just scratched Mr too..... Now should I worry!? I put neosporin on it. -
juneau- as long as your counts stay up should be ok but I cut myself during chemo and it took a long time to heal. Becareful with that:) I slept a lot during chemo and was a crab ass so you are entitled! Hang in there! I swear my eating and forcing to eat healthy help my blood counts. I made smoothies - if you can do that? and put spinach in them when my iron levels were low and you could not taste them. Eye Brows and Lashes did not leave until Taxol. I continiously put lotion. I would highly suggest keeping some lip stuff by your bed at night and using it at all times as my mouth cracked on the sides and that helps.
Ahh Eyebrows sisters:) I like that one! right now my little sister and I are fighting for some dam reason and we are both so stuborn. It was because I need her to answer my call Thursday and she did not respond till Saturday so I am mad. I need to let it go. Now we are not talking and I need her here thursday as they just schedule me to have some bone scan due to the pain I am having and I don't know what to expect with this test? has anyone had a bone scan? it is easy? UGH! I hate unknowns and no control ... working on this but this week all progress has went out the window with my positive attitude:)
I posted this on my fb today
love the question on here, "what is on your mind?" well do you all really want to know this:) I am freaking the heck out! I am running around like a crazy person trying to get things done bf next week LOL like that is going to happen. I want to be on a beach drinking a good bottle of wine and having a one last party for my real tatas:) sorry just had to add a little humor here! I want to be able ... to continue to work during this recovery time so I can focus my mind on that. I want to make sure every women reads my message loud and clear to go get their mamograms and scans scheduled! Early dectection is the key to not going through what I am going through for some of my treatments! So if that is one thing you get out of this post please take care of yourself and make an appointment. Sending lots of love and hugs your way! I hope everyone is having a wonderful day!
I had three friends that responded with that they made their appointments today so atleast I can use this dam experience to help someone realize to be better than I was about getting routine checkups! I don't want anyone to wait like I did for six months before getting check out when they fell something is wrong. I am mad at myself for this but not sure it would have change my treatment course.
Just a lot of venting and trying to get some of this energy out tonight! Thank you ladies for listening and letting be a little insane right now.
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Mcook. I put up basically the same FB post before my surgery. And got the same response back. It's the ones who didn't respond I pray for.
I want to cry now. I'm in pain. I'm bored. I'm hungry. I'm not hungry. I'm tired but wide awake. I ache all over and HOW. I am going to work through the last three txs is beyond me! Oh yeah... I'm OVER THIS CANCER SHIT!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
Oh Juneau, so sorry you are feeling like you are. someone on these boards said that the steroids we are on for chemo will make us nuttier than a squirrals crap
Make sure you write all this down to tell your onc on the next visit. Hang in there sister.
mcook.. be the 'bigger' sister and call your little sister. She is most likely as scared of all this as you. Let her know you need her. I had a bone scan and there's nothing to it. They inject you with a radioactive dye.... I mean radioactive? come on - I could've lit up the West Coast after they finished all that with me. Anyway, the actual scan is painless... you lay on a table - clothed and are moved through this machine... bit like an MRI machine but quieter. I think mine took about 18 minutes to complete.
DH is cooking dinner, then I will be napping or sleeping - yawn, yawn !!
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juneau- hang in there! when we are sick and tired we get pissy and have every right but I promise the day wo SE from chemo you will forget about these nights! I have a friend who has stage 4 sm cell cancer and dumb me I ask his wife today how long he has chemo for and she sent me a message that for the rest of his life. I tell this because you can do this and will get through this but make sure to call doc right away if you are suffering and they need to give you something to help! Call them tomorrow and explain what is going on! We are tough and you can do this! I laid around all the time on AC and every day was a new SE experience but I made it through it and so will you! Kick that dam Chemo's ass! Hugs!
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jpmom- I can't get rid of my scarves and wigs either. Every time I think about it I talk myself out of it. I haven't even worn a hat at all for almost 2 weeks but I can't seem to start getting rid of them. It makes no sense and I can't even explain it! I've been having fun with my short hair and tried the faux-hawk today after a lot of encouragement from my 15 year old son! I must say it rocked! Crazy things I do that I never imagine I'd ever be doing!
Stacie- Welcome. I'm so sorry to hear about your father. This is a great place to be for encouragement or just to vent.
I am still carrying my wound vac. Tomorrow will be one week. I have gotten used to the annoying "click click" and almost never forget that its attached to me except when I open the car door. I put it in a compartment on the door (since its on my left side) and sometimes I open the door and forget that its there. It just pulls a little but its never pulled itself out. Tomorrow will be my first day at the wound clinic. One more new person to touch my boob!!!
I love all the venting that goes on. Every day someone asks me how I'm doing or how I'm feeling but when I really tell them they have no idea what to say (except for a few select people). I think people don't want to hear me complain. I also think that because my hair is growing back people think I'm all better. I have a wound that hasn't healed the way it was supposed to and haven't even started radiation treatments. The only reason my hair has grown back is because I'm done with chemo, not because I'm done having cancer!
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Thanks for the Walmart and Kmart suggestions for bras. I will go tomorrow after work (DH still driving me) I can't believe how stressed I was, the hospital bra didn't fit and was both baggy and tight, I was freaked out that I would mess the implants up... Thank god I remembered I had an old sports bra and I could just step into it and pull it up over my hips . Hurray, it worked and it's very comfy. I wish my PS had given me more guidance or local resources. Going bra shopping with stitches and steristrips was not what I wanted to do.
Gosh, I got some 5:00 shadow and peach fuzz, very exciting, and now my hair feels like it stopped growing!!!
3 weeks Arimedex: seems pretty easy so far. No SEs to speak of. Are there other reasons not to do it?
My MO seems very convinced it is very helpful.
Hugs and "hang in theres" to ladies with SEs from chemo. I'm 8 weeks PFC today and almost nothing left except some lifting nails. Surgery 7 weeks did set back energy but not terrible...sending you strength
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