2012 sisters
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Hi! My name is Stacie and I'm 41 years old. This was my second mammogram ever. I was diagnosed with Stage 1 IDC of the Right breast on June 4, 2012. I have no family history of breast cancer. The tumor was 1.6cm ER/PR positive, HER2 negative, BRCA1/2 negative. I had a lumpectomy on July 3, 2012 then a second surgery to clear the margins 2 weeks later. I just got my oncotype dx results today with a score of 18.
My dad was diagnosed with colon cancer in 2010 with a good prognosis but unfortunately, he had the DPD enzyme deficiency and after receiving 5-FU, he died not long after his first treatment. Since my particular situation, thankfully, has a great outlook, I'm choosing not to consider chemo for myself.
I'm scheduled to begin 6 weeks of radiation therapy the second week of September, followed by 5 years of Tamoxifen.
My surgery went very well and it healed very fast. I still have a hard time believing this happened at all. The hardest thing was hearing that it in fact, was cancer, but i learned fairly fast that it was a manageable type. That made it a lot easier to take. My surgeon came right out and said, 'You're not going to die of this ,you know. ' I burst into tears at that point because, i DIDN'T know that. I hear cancer and despite hearing all positive stories in the media and personally, you can't help but think of the cases that aren't so positive. My doctor said that if she were to get any kind of cancer, she'd want the same type that I had. I never really went through the why me phase. I keep thinking how bad it could have been. I feel very lucky.
I'm just anxious to get treatment started! I've been reading Crazy Sexy Cancer by Kris Carr and that's been very helpful and informative. Plus she's funny so that helps a lot.
Nice to meet everyone & i'll talk to you soon!
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ohsoconfused -- When I had rads I would have been concerned about driving 30+ miles by myself, especially towards the end. I worked full time and by the end of rads I could fall asleep going to or from work, rads, the store. I couldn't sleep at night in my own bed mind you, but in the car? Yeah. If it's possible, you might want to see if you can line up someone to drive you, especially the last week or so. I know lots of people do just fine, but I know some of us were zombies by the end.
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Websister... ha ha ha ha to the FU. How was the vacation?
Liefie: thank you so much... your post made me smile. I get through this crap with humour and positivity... some days it runs away from me...and it runs because I cant
Today I am going to tend my garden and go for a lovely walk. I really hate it when I am in one of these slumps.... But as someone said... if you are going through hell, keep on going - just which I could remember who said it. Luvmy - thanks for the tips on the bras... when I get to wear some I will keep these in mind.
Blondie.. let us know how it went at your MO's today.
Ohso - the neuropathy does go. I had taxotere not taxol, but same kind of SE's.... I still have a little tingling in my toe - only the 3 middle ones on the left foot ??? Seems crazy that we poison our
bodies to cure us of cancer - one day that wont happen...one day they will have a cure without poisoning us. Here is your place to rant (as I am) no need to apologize. And I do agree - normalcy can make bc blend into the background a bit - most days anyway.Welcome Staciee - glad you found us. You have been through so much and so sorry to hear about your Dad. You will and can get through this... as we all can and will.
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Tazzy - I think that is a Winston Churchill quote - one of my favorites. Vacation was just what I needed, lots of wonderful memories, beautiful scenery and perfect weather. Glad I was able to do it.
Welcome Staciee70 -
staciee70-welcome to this club, sorry you have to be here. The Crazy Sexy Cancer is pretty good and also check out her crazy sexy diet. I've just finished reading Anti Cancer by David Servan-Schreiber and that's really a good book to read as well. He himself had brain cancer and knows first hand what its all about dealing with cancer. Check it out!
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D4: ugh. (enough said)
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websister - happy the vacation did the trick and hope you managed to 'forget' bc (not B.C.) for a time.
juneau... hang in there sister - will be over soon.
Hugs and kisses to you all xxx
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Ramols -
Thank you for sharing that today! I was talking with my therapist today about the lost of my favorite body part and how I have not let my mind go there and how I will feel about this. I felt silly being so obsessed about my dam boobs but she put it into prospective a little for me. Today was a rough one for me but some positives. I had my first mam and ultrasound after chemo. It brought back so many memories from my first visit to that room. They told me my tumor has shrunk but what the hell does this mean! I want it gone! I know this is a positive reaction after chemo but I was hoping for miracles today. Waiting for doc to come in and say, " Great News! no tumors and no surgery"
I am better today after talking w my therapist and so glad that the appointment was the same day as my scans and EGK (which I had a newbie tech and a male who was rough as hell) Of course this time I told him and it got better after:)
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Juneaubug, beats it being day 1, LOL. ((((Hugs)))). Hang in there. I am flying high today (on vicodan) just got home from.TE replacement surgery. It's easier than a BMX, but right now, not much. But, this will get better too. Juneau, the hardest thing wad to know that you had to do the tx again! But, you are now done with one and, before you know it, will be done with them all. Also make sure to tell your MO about any and all SEs,they can do something about it. They actually lowered my dose when I had such bad diarrhea and vomiting. Stcie, sorry you had to join us, but welcome and ask away. much love to all
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JP - I hope lunch was going better! You just said it best! F this shit! We are here for you!
Tazzy - I hope your day is going better and after today I might just smoke that just in spite!
Juneua - agreed with Tazzy - hang in there! you will get through this! it sucks no doubt about that!
Websister - Glad you had a good time and got away!
Staciee70 - Welcome and nice to meet you and thanks for sharing your story
To all others that I have missed I wish you good days and send lots of hugs!
questions for everyone - how did you feel before and after surgery? I am trying so hard to prepare myself for the unknown and i know the type of person I am, as much as I try to calm myself down I am going to freak the hell out! I need some help here on how to handle this or I might just get up and run away in my gown at any point bf..now that would be a site to see!
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mcook... see you behind the shed for a smoke
juneau... great advice from moonflwr... write down you SE's each day and take them with you to your next appt.
I was calm when I got to the hospital for my surgery... I just got into that head space of "Git 'Er Done"... yes apprehensive as I said bye to DH - both with tears in eyes and lots of hugs not wanting to say bye...but as soon as on the operating table... everyone does their job so efficiently and quickly I didn't have time to think and then the anaesthesiologist came in and said OK we are going to give you some oxygen through a mask.. deep breaths and keep your eyes open as long as you can... then I remember waking up in recovery.
mcook - you can do this.. you will not be able to run as we'll all be at the door stopping you. And then when you get to the other side you'll be thinking "what was I worried about"... as we all do. Deep breathing, peaceful thoughts.
Love you all xxx
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mcook301-Sorry that your chemo results wasn't what you expected! Look at it this way, its smaller than before chemo and so you know that with surgery for sure you would get rid of every bit of it. I was feeling really anxious the night before surgery and the morning of it as well. The worst part for me was saying goodbye to my DH, in my heart part of me didn't want to let go thinking that it might be the last time I see him and another part of me just wanted to get it over with! In the end it was hard but all I kept thinking was that I will get my life back after getting rid if this cancer. After the surgery was more putting all my concentration on healing! It takes a while and the smallest thing you took for granted felt so good when you could actually do it by yourself. I remember how happy I was to actually able to press the knob to flush a toilet when I was at dinner in a restaurant. LOL, life gives us a lot of lemons and we need to take it and make sweet lemonade with it!
juneaubugg-Sorry for all the SEs of chemo, hoping that you'll come out of your SEs soon and BIG (((((((HHHHHHHHHHUUUUUGGGGGGSSSSSSS)))))))))))) to you! Sending you positive vibes!
Moonflwr912-Glad to hear that your TE replacement went well, happy healing from here on!
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Soya... I am sorry I must disagree with you... life gives us lemons ask for tequilla & salt
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Tazzy-Good one!!!! I won't mind having a few of that either!!! LOL!!!
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LOL Tazzy - like the tequilla saying, as well as making lemonade! I perfer to mix it with Vodka:) Thanks Ladies that helps a lot! Dam they better not make any mistakes in there! I have a hell of lot of traveling left to do and places to see!
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Mcook, about the surgery question. Saying goodbye to hubby was bad, and walking in I had the distinct urge to turn around and run away. Lying there waiting to go in, I did joga-breathing to stay calm. As I was wheeled into the OR, I saw a surprising number of people busy in there, about eight or nine. I let rip with a nervous little voice, 'Wow! This looks like a party in here!', and everybody laughed. The breast surgeon and the plastic surgeon were there. They both came by to encourage me, and the anesthesiologist told me about three times that he was there for me, that he had my back, and that I would be okay.
When I woke up in the recovery room, my DH was right there. I felt extremely hot and uncomfortable, but they immediately brought ice and cold compresses to cool me down. Apparently I had vomited too, but fortunately I have no recollection of that at all. They asked me how bad my pain was on scale of one to ten, I said about seven to eight, and they gave me an injection which knocked me out for about eight hours. After that I was okay with just the pain pills.
If you feel very nervous before the time, ask for some medication to help with that. You don't have to suffer, and they understand how scared people are before surgery. Best wishes to you.
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Thanks liefie! I wish I knew who to take with me on that day to surgery to calm me down. I think my dad will be the best person to come with me as he just went through some challenging times himself last year. Right now that is a hard decision for me because I want no stress on that day.
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soyaandpepper - you made me laugh, as I was so happy when I could flush a toilet all by myself, not to mention push down on a soap dispenser hard enough to get soap on my own. In the hospital - on a floor that I am pretty certain was dedicated to BC - the soap was so hard to reach and push in the bathroom, and the toilet was one that was too high to flush with your feet. I had to leave the toilet for my husband to flush every time I went...
What were they thinking when they designed it?! That makes me realize - I guess I've come a long way since surgery, as my hubby hasn't called me by most post-surgery name in a long time... He fondly referred to me as t-rex arms, as I "reached" for everything with just the bottom half of my arms while the top half stayed firmly against my body... My 4-year old even got in on the joke, calling mommy trex arms... mcook - everyone else pretty much said it. The hardest part is saying goodbye to whoever is with you. But once you get that over with and get in on the table - things move so quickly that you'll suddenly wake up in recovery. I don't remember much about getting into the OR except that I made some joke about it being my cancer party - and my BS corrected me and said "Cancer Out Party." So remember that this is what surgery is about. Yes - your chemo did some work to kill your cancer (although perhaps not as much as you wish it had), but surgery gets it out once and for all. The best words I heard through all of this crap were at my post-op visit when my BS said "I got it all out; you are technically cancer free." Phew! Although I wish that meant no chemo, rads, herceptin or tamoxifen, but... sigh... And the others are right, if you can get some happy pills prescribed for you (i'm a fan of a 1/2 tab of xanax as needed) - this is the time to do it. Treat yourself. You are having major surgery to rid yourself of cells that are trying to kill you. You deserve a little bit of happy!
To everyone else - chin up, we can do this! My new goal is to find a bit of happy every day and lose myself in that so that I don't think about BC for a bit. Today - my happy was running around in the front yard with my boys playing duck, duck, goose. F*@! You cancer - you can't take that kind of fun and happiness away from me! Love, hugs, and a restful night sleep to all of you!
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Mc, you will do what needs to be done. Your dad does sound like he might be the right.person. it will work out. liefie has some good advice. I just had a TE replaced, and my team wad great. They loaded me.up on meds, ad the last time I had surgery I was so nauseous, I stayed in recovery over 4 hours and scared them. So if it hit you, make sure you tell tks anesthesiologist beforebyour next surgery, I.have a patch, the gave me pills and injected zofran. Much love. Tazzy, I like the tequilla idea.
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Mcook... If I wasn't a recovering addict I'd have smoked the weed long ago and washed it down with a lemon & tequila chaser. Oh how I wish. Anything for a few minutes away from the crazy reality that is now my life. Oh well.... Keep breathing. No vomiting. Last night constipation. Today dirreaha? FML
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Please excuse all typos, I am flying high on vicodan.
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Juneaubugg, I know this is serious business, but do you realize how funny you actually are? Your wonderful sense of humour will get you through this 'crazy reality' if nothing else will - please keep those hilarious posts coming!
Moonflwr, we don't mind that you're on a Vicodan trip. In comparison to cancer, typos are a non-issue. Who cares? Not us!
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I just love that we can say it like it is here and KNOW that others 'get it'. Had it not been for these boards, I probably would have gone crazy.
Was able to get a little sleep from midnight to 4... Maybe more like dozing off and on. Gotta love those steroids.
So many of you are amping up for your surgeries. I hope they all turn out well and you heal quickly. A friend of mine goes for his mastectomy tomorrow. It was quite a shock to everyone when he was diagnosed.
Stay strong everyone. -
Lifie: thanks I needed that. xxoo. ;-). Somedays laughter through my tears is exactly what I need and ALMOST all I have. I have an AMAZING amount of love and support....when I open my heart to them and I'm not angry, isolating or terminally unique. Back for more sleep before I'm back on the toilet. Did I mention FML?!
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Juneau, I must be dense, but what is FML? And I agree with liefie, you are funny. I also agree with you, juneau, sometimes laughter is all we have somedays. PaEagles, see of you can connect your friend with firstcall. He is a doctor who had to join us in February. You might contact him, he is usually.on the running board more often than on the Feb chemo board. I am surprised there is no board for the men with this nasty disease, maybe they could start one. Much love
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F.M.L. = Fuck My Life. Pardon my French....
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PAEagles-there is a section on here for male bc your friend may find it helpful. http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/51
Stacie-sorry your joining us but welcome.
Lisa-I also like the fruit of the loom front closing sports bras got mine at Walmart. I have 2 of the genie bras that you can pull up and my little cotton foob fits in the pocket. Not doing recon so someday I will get my big girl foob. lol
Tazzy- glad you had a weekend with friends. Sitting around a fire drinking a beer sounds fun.
tina-hope ypur wound gets healed up soon
websister-hope the se's are minimal
Things are moving along here. Start rads on the 24th and will have to stay at the Hope Lodge during the week. The drive is too much to do every day. So I've been trying to get things organized for the family. So ready to be done so I can get back to traveling!
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Tazzy - when you said to McCook - 'see you behind ...' I was still visualizing the sight to see as she ran out in her gown
Not much to add, you all give me courage - had a rough evening - diarrhea and nause but managed, just barely, not to throw up. Feeling a little more human this a.m. So I have showered and breakfasted but I am tired. My hat is off to all of you who worked and/or tended to young children through this. -
Hi Stacie, welcome to a great group. So sorry to hear about your dad. I hope you get as much as I do from this group. They are awesome!
Tazzy I am there with you on the tequila and salt, lemons have lots of uses...
Mcook, nothing like burning that stuff to hide it... Might as well be wrapped up in little paper and inhaled too! I have never tried it either but I was tempted to take a friends offer of some. I guess you could give it back but whats the fun in that?
PAEagles, my mom is heading up your way now, she lives in philly, you too? So sorry to hear about your male friend. That seems to be more common than I realized.
Can I tell you how wonderful you women are? Your humor and openness is awesome and I am in a better place because of you all. Keep fighting the fight. KCA. -
Updated my avatar seven weeks pfc now. Maybe an much long. Am starting to think that the little dry clear fine tips need to go but I can't bring myself to do it yet.
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