I know there's a "stupid things people say to you" thread but

You are far more tolerant than I. I would have slapped her into next week after question #1.

That's one of the reasons I chose to wear a wig throughout treatment. I knew my shiny, bald head would act as an idiot magnet, and I don't suffer fools well even when I'm feeling good. Ugh! I'm sorry you had to deal with such a whacka-doodle. I really wonder if some people are missing the wiring between their primitive brains and their mouths!

Your story reminded me of the time during my cancer treatment ( I wore bandanas) I went to a cookout/ campfire, and while I was inside talking to the hostess, who I know casually, a guy (a guest from out of town) sitting at the island asked about what kind of cancer. When I said "breast", he started going on and on about some natural health book he had read about if you have cancer in your left breast it meant unresolved emotional issues with your father, and if it was in your right it meant your mother. Then he offered to "counsel" me over the Internet to heal my cancer, that if I came to Jesus and opened my heart I could stop all medical treatment and let God heal me. I said thanks, but that I was sticking with traditional treatment, and since I am a parochial school teacher, I thought God and I were on good enough terms. The funniest part is I live in a small town, and my RO's nurse was standing behind him, and she looked like a fish, opening her mouth to say something, but then closing it again since she's friends with the hostess. I always thought I should hunt down that book to read it for kicks.

Sometimes the lunatics just run the asylum.

I, too, wore a wig throughout treatment (well, I wore four different wigs, one of them was glow-in-the-dark fuschia-pink) because, even though I was comfortable doing a "GI Jane", the few times I did, I could see that people were staring and/or getting upset.  And, I figured, I had enough to go through without rude people staring at me.

And, surprisingly, no one took a second-glance when I wore the fuschia-pink wig.  Go figure.

I've had a few people tell me I got cancer because I don't believe in god. These were people I kinda of know. I can't imagine a random stranger in Walmart saying some crap like that to me. I think I would have had to tell her where to go.  How horribly rude of her. I avoid walmart like the plague. It's true, all the crazies hang out there.

LtotheK your story of the young "men" brought back one of my most painful memories of this journey. I live in West Seattle and there is a road with a nice walking path along side called Alki Ave that runs down to and along the beach. It was a great place to walk my dogs on a nice afternoon. It was shortly after I had decided to stop wearing my wig and my hair was still very short and I was not completely comfortable being out and about like that yet. But I figured I had to just get over it so I was out walking my 2 dogs when a carload of teenage boys drove by and one of them shouted out the window "Oh look, 3 dog bitches"

It was a busy day and I am sure other people walking/jogging along the path heard it. I have never felt so hurt in my life. It was all I could do to make it back to my car before completely breaking down. All I could think of was everything I had gone through in the last year and really didn't feel I deserved this kind of crap.

I would hope that if the young "man" who made the remark had any idea the journey I had just been on perhaps he would feel bad about his comment. But who know? People can be so cruel/stupid sometimes.

Actually that felt good to get off my chest. I hadn't told anybody that story. I was too embarrassed.

 Thanks, Cyndi 

Edited to add: This was supposed to be on the other thread! Ooops..

Oh, my gosh.....as a committed Christian, those stories about so-called "Christians" who say you should have prayed harder, or believed more strongly, or whatever they claim to have been told by God, well, they just make me cringe.

My faith is very strong, but I got cancer. Stuff happens. My faith helped me stay strong. I never had chemo or rads, but is that because I was more "blessed" than someone who did? Oh, heck no!!!

Do I believe in miracles? Absolutely. But I also believe that God puts people in our path to help us, including medical personnel and treatments.

I don't know why some suffer so, and some do not. I truly don't have the answer.

But please - don't assume all Christians are like these whack jobs that just cause more harm. We're not all like that. Really!

Wow that's just horrible and incredibly arrogant as well. I think I would have been in too much shock to even think of what I could have said. I'm sorry that you had to have this experience. Soo insensitive to you and also to those who are not able to be cured of their cancer by no fault of their own.

Good thing it was a Walmartian who said that to you & not a neighbor or co-worker or anyone you might be expected to ever be civil to again. Your patience is amazing! 2 people I need to remain civil towards have preached "diet" (macrobiotic,ionized water......)to me. I told them I thought diet was bullshit when it comes to BC & we really don't talk anymore other than hi. Losing my composure was the worst part for me. I cut people off early when anything religious comes up.

Oh, how I wish that whackadoodle had approached me. I would have said, "What a coincidence that the Lord told you to tell me that! Because, honest to God, She told me to find you and tell you to go take a walk on the freeway but not to worry because She will protect you. If you doubt that, well, looks like you're going to get cancer. Have a nice walk!" Or I might want to say, "Nope. I'm an ex-con. Just got out for beating the crap out of nosy whackadoodle at Wal-Mart." But I won't spend a penny at Wal-Mart, so she's lucky. . . . I'm really not a murderous or violent person. Just occasionally brimming with misdirected anger. I just realized that I'm probably so feisty tonight because I started heavy doses of steroids this morning. I hope this is more cathartic or entertaining than disturbing. I salute all of you who have fielded such awful, mean, invasive, caustic comments so graciously. It is character building for sure. Those who say such things really only hurt themselves. Those boys in the car likely are haunted, or will be, by what they said. I almost, almost, feel sorry for them. 

I am a Christian, but I have often found myself questioning God's plans.  It took me 12 years to have 3 children and after all we went through we felt so blessed with our family, and then cancer came along.  I am still angry that I fought so hard to have my babies, and then my timewith them might be cut short.  It pisses me off to be blunt.  Who can I be angry with except God who is supposed to be in charge of my plan?  That is the question of the day.

I still hang on to the belief that even with all of this horror here that if I put my faith in Jesus Christ then there will be more to come.  I like to think that our time on earth will be such a small part of the big picture so that I can cope with this crap.  Does that mean I should be cured, absolutely not.  If you actually believe prayer changes God's plans and will heal I am afraid you may be questioning the faith of every Christian that dies young or suffers from disease.  It also puts a big red flag on why so many horrible "Walmartians" live extremely long lives. 

Cancer is sad, but don't make it a God issue.  God is Good and crap is crap.

I have stage III cancer as well ... I was on the phone last week and they asked what type of cancer I had. When I told them, they replied "oh, my mother died from that at the age of 54. Hmm, since I"m 51 and am just fresh out of my first round of chemo I thought it was insensitive to say the least. You just can't make these things up.

I have noticed the same .... it's seems quite common for people to start reciting off everyone they know who has died of cancer when they hear that you have had it.  Twits.

DCMom - I like that: "God is good, crap is crap"

I'm a practising witch and my mother is devoutly Christian.  When I asked her once - after her cancer diagnosis - how she deals with the "prayers unanswered" thing, she said something that still sticks with me today.  "... sometimes, God's answer is 'no' and we have to accept that ..."  Not sure I quite agree, but it is a powerful thought.

Personally, I prefer a quote from the actor, Paul Newman, "... Life comes down to luck..."  Yes, I think I agree with that.