I know there's a "stupid things people say to you" thread but

orlandpark1965

I just had someone tell me all about her neighbor that died from BC.  People do this all the time.  Just like when my mom died someone said " oh your going to miss her"  REALLY, didn't think of that.   The other day I FINALLY said to this girl on the train, " No offense, but don't want to hear about it".   I felt so much better that I FINALLY did that instead of listening and then being in a funk all day  

lanagraves

I think that, if I had not been in a partcularly tolerant mood that day, I would have let her have it. My mom, my husband and my aunt all said the same thing: I can't believe, with your temperament, that you let her by with that without really going off on her. Lol! I'm known for being quite intolerant of stupidity.

SweetCaroline2

Some people are totally clueless. The day after my first chemo, my DH (who was desperate to do something to save me) took me to meet someone who believes that a raw vegetable juice diet cured her ovarian cancer. He bought the $400.00 juicer and $300.00 blender she was selling and then hired someone to buy organic vegetables and come to our house twice a week and make juice for us. Then he threw out everything else in our pantry and refrigerator. If I were healthy, it would have tasted awful, but with the mouth sores, fatigue, aches, neuropathy, nausea, etc., it was undrinkable.When I complained to my sister, she said "If I were going to die, I would want to eat whatever I wanted." I couldn't believe that she would say to me that she was sure that I would die. 

Ayway I tried to drink the juices for a couple of months, to make my husband feel better and less panicky, and then told him I couldn't do it anymore. He was convinced that if I stuck to the diet I would not need chemotherapy, surgery or radiation, but finally accepted that I was the one with cancer and that I had to make my own decisions. It was difficult enough to get through chemo and SE without having a spouse who felt that it was unnecessary and the wrong choice. 

fredntan

I hate it when people bring up cancer around my children. I was at my local organic grocery. Its a strange place. The guy that runs it is a little nutty. But he asked me when they were going to do tests to see if I am in remission. Told him they don't do that. He didn't mean anything there by it. But I don't like to have someone else bring it up.

sbelizabeth

I'm ordinarily a very polite person, but all of this touches a nerve with me.  Fredntan, your grocer might have well have said, "So, are you going to die of breast cancer?" 

I've developed a few gentle but effective phrases to use when people launch into my aunt died of what you have, or what's your prognosis, or when will you find out if your chemo worked.  Yes, I know people are just being kind and interested, but some need to give some thought as to what they say before it's said.

And if I still had children younger than thirty-years-old in tow and someone brought up the subject in their presence, I believe I would allow my eyebrows to shoot skyward and then just walk away.  What stunning insensitivity.