2012 sisters

PS... Found my sexy. 💏 Ready for the BGC tomorrow (although check back with me on the way to the hospital at 7:30 am tomorrow). 😷

tazzy - i agree with juneau. If there is no redness and swelling, then it is probably just nerve endings trying to figure things out. But if you still feel concerned tomorrow, you should call your BS. That is why they are there and get paid the big bucks! Hopefully you'll feel better.

juneau - good for you - yeah! I had all good intentions earlier in the evening of finding my sexy, but then project runway came on. I'm such a junkie for that show. Sigh... Tomorrow is another day. I'll be thinking of you. Good luck.

To everyone else - sleep tight and feel good. Lights out!

Tazzy...never a dull moment! It's a FT job isn't it?!



Ramols... I love that show too! but I have a DVR. when I'm sick for 3 days I have 4 episodes stacked up to watch.

Good night ladies.

juneaubugg-Yayyyy!!!! Doing the sexy dance for you now!!!!! Good luck tomorrow!!!! Will be thinking about you!

Thinking of you tomorrow Juneau.   Just keep saying chemo kills cancer !!  ((((hugs))))

Ramols, Soya - thanks for putting my mind at ease along with Juneau - in my heart of hearts I knew it was likely nothing as there is no reddness, swelling etc.  Unchartered waters as it is for all of us and I knew that my knowledgeable sisters would have answers for me

BC.... the gift that keeps on giving. 

Goodnight ladies, hoping you find restful peaceful sleep and wonderful dreams (except you Juneau.... no sleeping for you yet ).

Mini and liefieWonderful motivational quotes here today just when I needed them!!

Hang in there Juneaubugg, just keep telling yourself that you won't have to put up with IV insertion each time you go.  My poor nurse has such a terrible time finding a good vein and we're not able to use the same site because I have a reaction to the taxotere.  You should have seen the rash from the first one!  It leaked a bit, so there was a good amount of fluid there and it was like having poison ivy from the inside out.  #2 went much better (no leaking) but the beginning of this week I started to see signs of the rash forming and it followed the vein, so she won't be able to use that one next Tuesday.  

Can somebody please stop this ride so we can all get off? 

Jpmom

Yeah !!! Clear margins, celebrate cheers in 12:00 somewhere !!

I shouldn't be complaining as I've come a long way over the last year and I didn't have to go thru near what so many of you have had/are doing in the way of treatments and surgeries but I had to come scream somewhere. I was so anxious to get rid of these dang ostrich eggs as my skin is so stretched and I am actually getting friction burns from my clothes. I was on the schedule for the end of August or beginning of September and was so happy to be so close to what I hope is the last surgery. ( 4 surgeries this year not counting biopsies). As luck would have it they had to reschedule me for the beginning of October. Will this friggin CA nightmare ever end. It will be a year ago October that all this started for me so I was hoping to get everything over with and start moving on. I am was so majorly disappointed I just burst out crying on the phone. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Well thanks for listening. I feel a little better.

JPmom so happy about your results.

Thinking of all of you in the BGC today. Hope SE's are minimal.

I'll be back to read thru posts and address them later; just trying to absorb this and do some rearranging of other appointments now and talk to my DH about rescheduling his vacation that he was taking to help me after surgery. This sux! Like I said I shouldn't be complaining with all some of you are going thru but this CA and all the appointments, surgeries, and everything else creates such an emotional rollercoaster.

Lostinmo-

Good luck today!!!

The Serenity Prayer



God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.



Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen.



--Reinhold Niebuhr

Jpmom-



U have every right to feel like u do. They definately don't get it and that is why there are places line this to vent. If there is a day that u don't want to be positive it's ok. I get sick of everyone saying ur strong u can get thru this, I feel like saying I am sick of being strong cant I just have a pity party for once. Let urself. U will feel better and u will be positive again. Take the time to feel the way u do it's part of the healing process. Just my two cents. Feel better!!!

My friend told me she used to cry in the shower because it was upsetting to her husband to see her cry. Men are fixers, and when they can't it frustrates them. Just the thought of possibly losing their wife is overwhelming to many men. I am "lucky," and I use that term loosely, because my husband had cancer years ago, so he has a better understanding than a lot of men. Plus he's an inspiration to me because he had serious surgeries and chemo and has been good ever since (almost 30 years ago). Hang in there. As was said above, that's what this site is for. You will find support with us. And if you run across a bad apple once in awhie, screw 'em. One bad apple and all that, but the good far outweigh the naysayers. Sorry to be so blunt, but I've had it happen.

Hugs

I truly love each and every one of you. You voice all the emotions I am feeling. Jpmom - we had a similar night, although it started when our 4 year old (who never ever wets the bed) woke up soaking wet at 1am, for the 3rd time this week. Obviously after the sheet changing, child cleaning, etc - the two of us were wide awake. And we started talking about why we think he's reverting like this. I pointed to cancer of course - I blame it for everything. He so adamantly refused to think cancer is affecting our 4 year old at all. And the whole thing spiraled from there. Although he has been extremely supportive through all of this, my husband has shown little emotional reaction of his own - and pushes me to stay strong and not wallow. Sometimes I think it is ok to wallow. We are allowed to be angry and annoyed by all of this. His point of view is that I am alive and will continue to be alive - so whats the big deal if the going is rough for a year. This point of view - while I understand it and for sure appreciate that I do have the gift of life and a better diagnosis/prognosis than others who get stricken with this crap - doesn't really work for me. I'm the one who got my breasts chopped off and have these g-d awful TEs inside me. I'm the one who's going to let them inject me with poison for 4 months and lose my hair. I'm the one who's going to get burned with radiation for 2 months. I'm the one who's going to go through a year of herceptin infusions every 3 f'ing weeks. And I'm the one who although g-d willing I'll be cancer free when all is said and done, will still have to go through the anxiety of regular checks to make sure one nasty little cell didn't escape and find a new home to grow big and strong in. So while I appreciate that I get to live - I'm still pretty f'ing angry about the year of enjoyable life that is being robbed from me - at a time when all I really want to do is be a good mom and help my kids move through this stage of their early developmental lives. ARGH! I know he means well - but like you all say, they just don't get it!

Deep breaths... Mini - I like your mantra and I'm gonna try it. I tend to be a bit of a control freak so the fact that everything in my world is completely out of my control at the moment is causing me to sometimes teeter over the edge of the deep end... Hugs to all and thanks as always for listening!

Ladies, vent away! We all do, so take a number and then vent! LOL,sometimes you just gotta! In that vein, there is a tv show premereing next week called something like the week the women left. All the women in town left the guys alone for a week, I am so looking forward to seeing this. Should be interesting. LOL

Ramos- you have captured my feelings exactly! My DH is mostly wonderful and I know scared to death to lose me and that I think is part of the "buck up" mentality we get from them.

I hope to beat this cancer, I know there are people with much worse cancers etc, but bilateral mastectomy--recovery--news re nodes-- poison for 6 months, go bald, have your fingernails hurt-- burn the living daylighting out of my chest wall and nodes-- arimidex for 5 years--and that's if all continues to go well! Wow- its been said a million times before but, I am so thankful for this forum- not sure I could say the previous statement to many people.

My mom is dying right now also and very tired and thinks she should help me ( like all moms want to do) so I buck up for her, my kids are older, but, there is just so much worry I want to pour on them.

I lost it over ants! They invaded the kitchen, and DH made one tiny attempt to control them, didn't work and i said I can't even make coffee without them crawling all over me, do something, and he said he didn't care about ants, they don't carry disease. I felt like he said I don't care about you. I lost it, he said well I knew it was going to happen( you falling apart) and here it is. Luckily my wonderful friend who is a therapist called a day or two later and I got to discuss it with her.



They are really scared for us and themselves and that Y chromosome they have doesn't have very many genes on it.

Thanks for the melt down /vent