2012 sisters

Reprieve Granted! No one told me no food or drink so now they are having me come back in the morning at nine. Then I can grab some food and then my first treatment. I won't have to sleep with the needle in tonight. *breathing again*

2fried, good to see you back! Tina hope the wound vac gets this done for you, its time to heal!

Juneau, good luck with the port!  Let us know how it goes.  You will do fine.  It will be your little friend during chemo.  Chemo WILL kill all those little asshole cancer cells.  Count on it and make it true!

 I just got my path report.  They saw absolutely nothing on the redo.  So my breast is clear.  I guess in retrospect I didnt need that surgery yesterday but I am glad that I did it and know for sure now.  So the surgery phase is finally done for me other than healing.  Looking ahead now to the radiation phase to kill all the little asshole cancer cells that might be left behind.  Fuck this cancer shit.

Had to listen to three more cancer stories at the dentist.  Though it does make me realize that there are people way worse off than me out there.  The hygenist told me about her friend who has a 12 year old with brain cancer that came back quickly after surgery and now has to do radiation and chemo.   

VBall - I was diagnosed in mid March. Finished rads in mid July. I too question my decision sometimes about rads, but the studies show no more of a success rate long term with rads than with a mastectomy. I also knew that a mastectomy would be very hard for me both physically and psychologically. What I am coming to realize is that we are all different. There are people on here that swear by their way, but we are all different. What's "right" for one of us may not be for another. I am now looking at doing no adjuncnt therapy for various reasons. That is a whole different road to go down. When it comes right down to it, all we can do is inform ourselves (and beware for every pro there is a con) and make the best decision for us for right now. We may always have questions. But remember, mastectomies come with there own set of problems and it doesn't guarantee that you will get everything and never have a recurrence, just as radiation doesn't do that either. None of what we have to do to fight this is simple, easy, or straight forward. I wish it were; for all of us. You didn't post your stats, but it sounds as though your prognosis is good.Hang on to that. Excercise, change your diet if it isn't good right now and get youself strong. After the rads. They will likely make you tired toward the end. :-) But after that.

If you every want to send me a private message, feel free to do so. You will get through this. Hang in there.

Cindy... hang in there - praying for b9

Tina_jason.. how was your trip to the store? I swanned around the store, hubby at side, directing him what to put in the cart.. ha ha !!

Dakota... sorry to hear about our nephew... but what wonderful words to leave everyone with.

Fishin... keep trying to remember that all the chemo and shots they are doing FOR us, not TO us.

Soya... same as you about the dentist.. used to dread it, even for a clean - now its like ‘whatever'.

Liefie - another good mantra... soon my day will be filled with positive affirmations.

2Fried - see you at the therapists.. ha ha ! Yep, I decided that the drains are not keeping me inside, bad enough I cant drive yet. They are still pumping out fluids in the 50's so who knows. My Nurse Navigator when I told her said "wow you are juicy". I will have to tell DH that one. Funny how even grocery shopping becomes the highlight of the day.

Juneau.... We'll be with you in the BGC tomorrow... deep breaths.

Jpmom: doing the happy dance re: the path report... woo hoo... and yes I agree Fuck This Cancer Shit.

Thinking of you all and wishing you happy peaceful days ahead.

Tomorrow I have a friend coming to visit, we will go and get my dressing changed, and a nice lunch somewhere.

Hello Ladies,

I finally got a date for surgery! Ramols - I wish I could have just ignored it too:) My date is August 21st - So now again I am freaking out so going to need some good drugs for next week!  I had to finally throw in the towel for work for next week, mentally I can't focus right now on that but why does ths feel like a failure I can't do it all? Slowly I am learning to try and understand that I need to forgive myself for not being able to keep up right now.

Not sure what it was today, the meeting with my oc nurse, who mention that I would meet with my oc after surgery to discuss option for removal or shutting down ovaries or just nerves from getting my surgery date that I was upset and tearing up during my heception infustion and thinking, "Will this shit ever end!" So many emotions for me lately and I hate this feeling of no control and being negative so I am trying hard to work on this. I think I might be getting my period back so maybe it is the hormones too? So many unknowns and uncontrollables and I have to learn to just relax and not let this take over my moods.

I also blew up on my sister, mother and bf today so I am on a roll:) I think I need to just go be by myself for a bit and think about things so everyone doesn't end up hating me today:) I can't remember who mentioned about beng mad at their husband above, for being able to be normal! I hear that feeling loud and clear some days!  One thng I feel we are all blessed with the realizing that we are so strong! and we get that life is precious! Most people don't know how strong they can be until they go through something we are all going through:) Tough ladies we are! Watching the olympics this week was different for me because instead of saying I would love to have that strength and ability, I thought, " Having cancer is much harder than that"   

Tazzy - let's go! I am going to go next summer for sure!! Already looking for Villias to rent! No after BC might have to figure out how to fund it

Jpmomof3 - so glad about your results I have been thinking about you!

So hard to respond to everyone by name on here for me, sorry.  I have read everyone's post and thank you for sharing your stories!

mcook... yay for the date... honestly I never thought I'd be happy to have surgery... but one week later I am healing and this is just another step closer to being well again.    I think women in general find it hard to be doing everything.   Be kind to yourself, listen to what you body needs and obey.   We'll be in your pockets with you.   I had mentioned that I was pissed at my DH for being normal - he went for one beer with the neighbours... but I think we all actually related to the same.   Apologise beforehand for any outbursts - they will understand.

Aruba and all those with insurance and insurance issues... I do not know how you do it, really I dont.   Not only do you have the crap of dealing with bc but then have to deal with the crap of insurance companies - my heart goes out to you.

Dakota212 It's on the smaller side.  I had a 5 cm wad of tissue removed and in that mass was a 3.8 cm tumor and two tumors that measured in mm's and a "bed of DCIS"  all of that was big enough that my RO said before the oncutype dx he would have recomended chemo.

My cancer was grade 1, yours is 2 so that may make a difference too.

Moonflwr - curious what the magnesium is for? I was on a high dose of that nastyness via IV for about 10 straight days when my younger son tried to make an early escape at 30 weeks... It was miserable. Hope its not causing you any problems...

Jpmomof3, I am so happy for you that the uncertainty is over and that the news is so good. English is not my first language, and I often swore at cancer these last seven months in my home language, something like 'Kanker se gat, man!' It made me feel so good!

Yes, Moonflwr, during those first months it seemed as if my new job was to sit around in various waiting rooms. Although everybody was very nice, I did begin to feel like an object to be prodded, manipulated and stuck with needle after needle . . . mercifully that is over now. It does pass eventually. Good luck with the surgery!

Dakota, I am a small B, and my tumour was 1.8 cm, relatively small. According to the path report the tissue that was removed from my left breast during the mastectomy, weighed 229 g. A bigger tumour would have taken up the whole thing!

Liefie-

That's what confuses me. I am glad it's small like I said 2 cm, but prior to my reduction I was a DDD. 2cm from that is a big difference from a C. Oh well they want the fibroid tumor and 2cm tumor out so I am having bmx anyway. I love how in the surgeons eyes it small, it could never be small enough when it comes to me and others I am sure. Thanks for ur input!!! Hope u all had a pain free day

Mcook... I was mad that my husband got his mini vacation while I missed mine entirely. But as Tazzy said, I think we all feel that way.



Dakota... My deciding factor was indeed my Oncotype. It was I the "grey area" but for ME I decided to kill any floaters that could be remaining following my surgery which was 100% successful. If you go back and look about 2 weeks ago you will see how agonizing this decision was for me since I may very well already be cancer free. But there is a chance I may not and that some cells got away. So for me this is an added layer of protection from recurrence and although strongly recommended; ultimately elective. yeah crazy right?!



JPmom....YAY!!!!!!! Cancer -1 ; 2012 sisters +1!!!!!!



Tazzy: I went to my friends wedding with my drain in. Baggy shirt and skirt. Yummy cake, nice to be out, and then totally exhausted. The Dr. Told me the reason I had my drain so long and was so "juicy" (Ahh yuck) was because I was over doing it and if I slowed down, so would my output. I stayed in a few days... And lo and behold....output down and drain out finally.



Ok so here's another question for everyone. SEX?! Anyone having any yet?! 😁 I get in the BGC tomorrow early and I haven't either been physically AND emotionally there at the same time since right begore my surgery. I think I'd like to make an attempt tonight before I start chemo. I feel like its a big part of the intamacy in a marriage.



Will the chemo continue this dry spell, because I'm in pain still but it should reduce a lot over the next 12 weeks.

juneaubugg - you rock. I was wondering if anyone was gonna bring up sex on this board... It took me a little time after surgery to feel physically like I could. And with all the emotional stuff attached to cancer, getting mentally in the mood can be kinda hard (especially when you add the usual issues of little kids and two full-time working parents). But I felt kind of like I'd been ignoring my husband - who has been there with me every step of the way - and realized that he deserves some attention and our marriage/relationship deserves some attention. Can't say it's happened too often since surgery - but it's been worth it each time. Not sure how your significant other is reacting to the changes going on with you - but my husband has been super duper supportive and continues to tell me how sexy I am - scars/TEs and all. Not sure what chemo will bring in this department, but we'll see. Good luck to you!

Juneaubugg, good luck, just take it slow, and lubricate. Oh, and Enjoy being together.

Mini1, what is CA?

I'm doing ok, 2 days out from surgery. Pretty normal but got very tired aroun 2:00 and crashed on couch. I went for a walk this morning and carefully swept kitchen, keeping arms by sides. See my PS tomorrow, he might take off dressing. I am going find that balance of enough activity and rest so I get back up for work Monday. Fortunately just meetings.

I just pray that these new incisions heal well..

Ladies who had surgery at least a couple of weeks ago or longer.   I have had a pretty restful day but tonight sitting here, my incision seems to be causing more discomfort than the past couple of days.   Its like a pressure feeling... as though something from the inside is trying to push out against a wall... does that make sense... is this normal do you think?  did anyone else get this?? 

I spoke to Janet my Nurse navigator yesterday and she said the creeping/tingling feeling is the nerve endings... so I calmed about that... but this is new and just started a while ago.

Thanks for any advice.

Love & hugs to all xxx