Starting Chemo July 2012

Wonderful to read that you gals are taking control over the hair and feeling liberated.  I know it was hard and difficult physical transformation but that best part is that it did not change who are. You are each still very strong women with great determination to get healthy and continue to move forward with your treatment.  Chemo does bring on great emotion ups and downs because it affects the hormones  and having chemo itself is very trying emotionally.  When you need to cry, rant and rave and let those feelings out and at the same time, when you feel good and joyful, spread that happiness here with others.  No matter what, each of you can definitely get through this time and be one day PFC. 

My last round of chemo I had today was easy.  I rang the bell loud and a lot  right before I left the infusion center this afternoon.  The infusion staff was there, yelling and clapping for me and congratulating me for finishing chemo.  It was a great moment for me and my DH.  I wore a sparkley tiara which brought smiles to the staff.  I looked like a little hairless kid wearing the tiara ....what a sight!!!  Just wanted to share what you can look forward to!!!!  HUGS to all and wishing minimal side effects for all!!!! 

Beautiful video, beautiful you. Beautiful friends. and you have such an amazing laugh! Thanks for sharing. 

I wasn't near as brave as you, but I did write a post about shaving day.  Here it is, if you are interested: http://musingalong.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/be-brave-be-blessed-be-bald-be-beautiful-be-who/

Hugs

Melrose-congratulations on finishing-haha, I bet you were quite a sight-good for you!!!! You have always been wonderful in this thread, sharing bits of advice and encouragement-thank you!

I agree with what others have said-To anyone getting off-side comments or strange looks about the hair, I'd say this experience elicits all kinds of emotions from friends and acquaintences alike. Some people have a hard time dealing with this, because it inadvertently causes them to face their own fears, and or, they just don't know what to do when people look different, or know what the 'appropriate' thing is to say. Remember who you are inside, all you've accomplished, all you've contributed, and let that drive you. Having just shaved my hair down even further (it was just too itchy yesterday), and dealing with this myself, I know this can be very difficult. Embrace and love yourself, as you are still the same person (sans likely with a whole other appreciation for life and perspective on many things), as you were before this ordeal began. Dig deep to remember and reinforce the inner person you are and surround yourself with nothing but positivity. Don't take personal any oddities that come your way from people-after all 1000's and 1000's of women have come before us, and will very likely come after us. No one wants to take this journey, but how you take it will definitely define us all going forward. Whoever doesn't support you needs to be sidelined because negativity is the last thing we all need. Of course if the snarky or misplaced comments are coming from close family or friends, then perhaps a conversation is in order with those who can remotely handle it, since we don't want to isolate ourselves either. Look in the mirror and remember how strong YOU are (not your hair) for enduring not only the physical but emotional ups and downs. A funny story to share-before my 2nd treatment tomorrow, I was determined to feed a craving for Mexican food. 2 very good friends and I got together last night, and as I was on my way I received a text that they were running a bit late (typical of my best friend of 24 years, so I was not shocked at all,LOL).

 Well, when I arrived at the restaurant sporting my new hat with hair, both of my friends had stopped at a wig shop right before, and were both wearing wigs to support me. While I cried at their genuine and funny show of support, I also laughed so hard that I could not stop-my best friend looked like a sexy porn star and my other long-time friend was totally rocking her wig, and loving it, too.  They are both HUGE jokers anyway, and amazing friends, but to say this was completely awesome would be an understatement. I am sharing this, because for every awkward, sad and discouraging moment that inadvertently arises throughout all of this, there are REAL moments of support, laughter (like when I swore my cat was looking at me weird yesterday, when in fact I tickled her with my stubbly head!), and encouragement. Sometimes in all of the craziness, you have to excavate to find and distill those moments, and remember that those are far more important in this journey than those laden with drama and negativity. But they are there. Good luck to everyone with your treatments if you have them soon. Stay strong and positive fellow July Chemo Hot chicks:)

Life, thank you for sharing the video...made me laugh and cry at the same time. We are shaving mine today...

And because life can't be easy -



Just found out my father died this morning. Peacefully in his sleep andhe's been sick for a long time so it's not a surprise. But I have my second round of chemo today and this.



I think he was waiting for me to be happy before he could let go. And as weird as it seems, I'm happier now than I have been in years, despite cancer, et al. I am surrounded by love and I think that's why he let go.



He was the absolute love of my life and taught me passion and movies and joy. I heartbroken.

MaddyMac-  Thanks for all the good cheers and wishes!!!  I rang that bell as loud as I could and for as long as I could yesterday afternoon.  There were a lot of cheers by the infusion staff and just a good time!!!!  I rang that bell for all of us because we all need to know that we can make it through  this time and we should all celebrate our lives as we move forward. 

FYI: The infusion nurse I had yesterday was able to access my port on the first try..... all of the other five times took some maneuvering (like I thought I was going to have to stand on my head a few times).  Other than that, it was definitely an easy time in the BGC yesterday.

To all wonderful gals here---- Wishing you minimal side effects and easy times the rest of the way though chemoland.  

Life...so sorry to hear about your loss. I'm sure he is very proud of his little girl for being courageous and such an inspiration to others. God bless you. Prayers and Hugs!

Jill 

Oh, Life. . . I can't imagine how I missed your post earlier. So sorry to hear about your father. I will hold you in my thoughts and my heart. The gentlest of hugs to you.

I realize that my father taught me how to handle my cancer experience. He was critically ill with heart issues for more than a decade. But he just simply refused to let it stop him. At one point, the doctors discovered he had only 10% of his heart was actually functioning due to damage from multiple heart attacks and other issues. Yet he was still golfing three times a week. The doctors gave up trying to give him a prognosis eventually because he just defied all their odds. About six years ago, he fell and broke his collar bone and disloacted his shoulder. They couldn't repair the damage because of his heart problems. He had to give up golf but he kept going. Every day, he'd wake up and just be grateful to still be walking on the earth. He had been giving six months to live six times over ten years. He never fought to live loudly, he just lived. He never complained, he just lived. That's the last gift he gave me - just live. That's how I'm tackling this disease - just live. So if I can pass that on to all of you going through this struggle with me, then I get to spread a little of my father's spirit around.

good morning, Melrose, congratulations on graduating!

Lifeonitsside, I loved seeing your video, you're a gorgeous and strong woman.  I'm so sorry for the loss of your father.

Well I felt like I started out strong and now I'm bringing up the rear of this bunch.  Really struggling lately.  Fighting the blackest mood I've ever fought.  I just feel dead inside, wished I could die yesterday, which is ridiculous, considering the whole reason I'm sad is that I may die earlier than I expected.  I hope some of this is still chemo SE.   

 I finally filled out my disability applications and I cried all the way through it.  Losing my ability to work is hitting me harder than losing my  hair.  And I'm not even out of work yet, I'm just reducing hours to half time.   I have to fax the forms into the doctor and get my employer's portion and then follow up with it all to get payment.

In a slightly comical note, I tried having a little cocktail last night and boy did that backfire.  I'd given up alcohol already due to the association with BC.  Last night I added half a shot of gin to my cranberry juice, ignoring the dirty looks from the hubby.  That stuff hit my tummy and just about made me barf.  I took an anti-nausea pill and kept sipping.  In about 10 minutes I was dizzy and stumbling around running into the furniture.  I had to pour out my precious gin and juice.  I guess no cocktails for me. 

Lifeonitsside: You are so funngy, smart, strong, and loving.  You had a wonderful father and I'm not surprised that you have good friends.  I'm sending you lots of {{{{hugs}}}}.

Lifeonitsside - your video was so inspiring - sounds like you got your love of life from your father.  Sorry to hear of his passing, but he has left a lovely legacy behind, artful and strong.

I just watched several of Talia Joy's videos. What an amazing, beautiful young woman. When i worked peds cared for many many babies, toddlers, and young people with cancer. I pull their memories from my memory bank--help inspire me. 

Some of you may remember my %*^*^$( or a husband walked out on day of diagnosis (after having been openly dating and has a site on match.com). Well, the women who work for him (don't like him at all--but jobs are scarce in our area) had a chemo quilt made for me. It is beautiful. And so so special.

I am finding loving kind people.

Be cherished.