Starting Chemo July 2012

Emily-thanks for the tastebud bit, better all the savory food now, LOL, before my 2nd treatment, just in case!

 Pinky-maybe you are on 'dose dense' regimen? (Every 2 weeks?). I am on an 'every 3 week' schedule. Good luck with your next treatment.

 I am getting closer to getting over my initial hair loss shock. I have always a thick dark mane of hair, which I've always had, so my 'hair falling out' has been traumatic for me, as I posted over the last few days (had pretty bad meltdown yesterday). Today I got a call from the awesome woman (Lisa) who opened an account with a John Renau wig source for me at her own offering (I apparently have a 'large' head, so I had to start searching by size, and came across  http://www.headcovers.com/12537/large-zara-by-jon-renau-wigs-monofilament/-lace-front/?gclid=CNzplv2VyrECFYTd4AoduVkAFg ).  And it's cheaper than pictured, and insurance will pay most if not all, so I am happy. So, I chose the dark, dark brown option with a bit of light in it, and my wig was delivered to the 'Wellness Boutique' at the center where I am being treated. All day at work, everytime I went to adjust my scrunchy, strands and strands of hair kept coming out. I didn't cry today at my desk at least,  but it was annoying and still shocking. When I was telling my co-workers that I was on my way to pick up my 'new hair', I managed to squeeze out a laugh, and of course some cries. They were all very supportive as they have been, and told me I probably would look 'hot'. Well, after the nightmare that this has been, it was nice to hear that, because right about now, I feel everything but (though my wife always does, and couldn't make me feel sexier every day if she tried!). So I went and they put it on me, and the joke was, that despite how much hair I lost over the last few days, the fact that I have to much hair to begin with was making it hard to fit the wig on my head. Obviously that was a source of mixed emotions for me (Damn cancer, you're not getting my hair as 'fast' as you want!), and ('I am not here not there, have my hair under a wig'). But, the good news was it actually looks very good (and I don't really go around tooting my own horn, especially not right now), and I am relieved and happy that it looks a lot like 'me'. I really needed that (some days, I couldn't feel further from 'me' as many of us have experienced), and the staff at the store said I made their day, because I looked genuinely happy. I have tried wigs on in the last few weeks, and I looked like I was in disguise-funny conceptually but not in practice. I initially left disappointed and scared I was going to look strange for months.  So, whew that part was over (I was afraid it would look aweful). I went home, in the bathroom, told my wife (with whom I have been with since 1999), that I had to go put my new hair on, but I wanted it to look nice). Well eventhough I've never been super 'girly' in terms of obsessing over my looks (I was a former athlete, and generally am a t-shirt and jeans girl), I still suddenly was having fun with it. Put it on...made a few sexy faces in the mirror, and then proceeded to show her. It looks great, natural and it will be fun to wear Fedora hats and baseball caps. My stylist can even cut it a bit shorter(I generally wear my heair shoulder length and blowdried pin straight, eventhough my natural hair has a slight wave in it). So for a sec I was dress up Barbie, and that was ok. I suddenly felt empowered and smiling ear to ear. Wife loves the wig, but most importantly I feel I can 'rock this wig'. I never thought I'd ever say this, but as fast as the hair crisis came on unexpectedly, I'll be fine. Can't wait to get my sleeping caps, and I may even get another wig to play. I may even take some black and white pics, classic style rocking my 'new hair'. Just wanted to share this because just 24 hours ago I was devastated about my literal 'unraveling'. We all have to at least try to feel physically comfortable through these treatments. It's hard to see a blatant reminder of the cancer in you, as a physical manifestation. All of the amazing strength and sharing here, my friends' and family's support, and my co-workers' boost today reminded me that I am beautiful I am inside and out. And hopefully my little 'dress up' tale with its smiles and tears will help someone else lurking or struggling with this right now....wish you all a comfy, positive and mild side effect evening and weekend . 

So my incredible, amazing boyfriend came to my rescue again, bringing his clippers over tonight without my asking to help me shave my head. He's a director and a cinematographer so he "directed" my blog for the head shaving. My dear friend, Tracy, also came over since we're going to Disneyland tomorrow so she's staying over tonight. The tears I shed tonight were tears of laughter and gratitude. Mark shaved my head first into an off-center Mohawk and then down to one tiny lock sticking out at the front of my head. We laughed until we cried. They made it an evening full of love and laughter and just safety that I can almost handle the fact that I'm pretty much bald. And he made me feel loved and beautiful every single step of the way. And he even cleaned up all the hair afterward. So today started out very sadly and depressing and awful but I'm going to bed tonight knowing that I'm loved and feeling that I can get through this, without having well-intentioned people standing around telling me I'll get through this. I am so truly grateful to have these people in my life. The vlog will be up soon and I'll post a link to it.

Hi,

I am from the August chemo group and just had my first A/C. I am feeling so so, but my face is bright red. Especially my cheeks. I thought someone had a recipe to calm this down. Could you repeat it for me? Thanks for all your info. It helps so much. The Claritin is working for me. I had my Neulasta shot yesterday.

rounnd 2 complete Im really waek and wobbly and struggling to take in fluids or food,  my counts were low so i have to go for nealasta later.  this seems harder than lst time 

Thanks to all for the replies.

Boobzilla - no firecrackers, more like little "pokes", but I appreciate your advice. Yes, SEs are so strange and different for each of us. My tastebuds went awry for awhile the first round, then came back to normal (Or maybe I just got used to it?)

Melrose -I'll try the eyedrops - and I wish you the very best of luck next Tues. on your 6th round.  You've had such good advice and good works for many of us.  Hope you stick around to share after you're done with the infusions.

Maddymac - sorry you've had such bad SEs. Hope by now they have calmed down.

Ann - I got some gatorade at the grocery today, and i'll try substituting it for some of the water I drink. I read the taxotere article...it's good to know such things.

Another thought on hydration

When I couldn't stand the taste of water (and I usually like it), I found filtered water was better than tap water. Better for me meant less icky tasting. But even better than that was hot water. I just nuked a mug of hot water and as long as it stayed hot or reasonably warm, I could get it down. When it got cool, it was icky again. Ann, maybe it will work for you. (Maybe not, but it's a cheap experiment). 

I am only having waves of nausea from time to time. I am having pain everywhere else. Is this a side effect of Chemo? Monday 8/6 will be my fifth treatment of Cisplatin and Taxol. They couldn't give me Taxol last Monday because my Liver enzymes were elevated?? Any ideas? Thank you. Marianne

Boobzilla - Go, Xena!

mamabr- You might want to check with your onco about taking something OTC for that heartburn.  No reason to suffer through that.  I had heartburn with the 1st round of chemo which seemed to improve after a few days.  At my appointment with my onco before my 2nd round, she told me to start taking Zantac or Pepcid.  I didn't experience any heartburn so I didn't take anything.  Fortunuately, I haven't had any more heartburn since the first round.  I'm also careful about what I eat the day I receive chemo and for a week afterwards.  No spicy foods for me.  One of my side effects is burping.  I burp a lot and like a drunken sailor after chemo.  I guess I'll take the burping over other side effects.  My son and I have had burping contests. Lol   I can't tell who won.... we are a competitive bunch at my house. 

Wishing minimal side effects and a wonderful restful weekend for all!!!! 

_Ann_ --

How great to feel shrinking tumors. I think that for those of us who had surgery before chemo, it is really encouraging to hear from someone like you who has palpable evidence of the chemo working. Anyway, congratulations on shrinking tumors!

Melrosemelrose-thank you, I will bring the heartburn up on my next visit. I put off eating, which is not healthy, because of the discomfort. I want to keep healthy so that treatments don't get postponed.

Ann-That is great news on your tumor. I hope you are feeling better and getting your strength back. I have also worn the scarf and hat, seems to work better than a wig or baseball hat. But I did order some little caps from REI, about $6 a piece. My head gets cold when I'm around the house and the fleece caps are very soft. Sometimes I get those heat waves going through me, but generally when I'm at home I wear the little caps for warmth. Also at night my head gets cold.  

You have all been so helpful! I have been on the fast bus for the past month and a half and haven't had a chance to look through all this wonderful information. I had my second treatment on July 25 and my hair trimmed with a No. 4 comb on a clipper that afternoon because we were leaving on vacation within days, and I didn't want bald spots. Well, I now have bald spots because the hair has started falling out in clumps. My nurse practitioner recommended not getting my head completely shaved because of scalp irritation. Does anyone have any recommendations on this? I would like to have it shaved ASAP so I quit looking more ridiculous than I will bald. Thanks for your help, everyone!

I'm a bit of a mess since AC #2 and Neulasta.  Slept most of the time since my infusion Thursday but very weak and unsteady on my feet.  Having trouble taking in fluids and food, everything is a bit sickening.  It's hard to read or watch movies because my eyes are jumping around.  Nothing to do but wait it out I guess.