2012 sisters

I think he's doing it by choice... he never said and I didn't think to ask. That picture was taken before my 4 taxotere treatments - hence the brows and lashes which I no longer have

mcook... I too have learnt to be more forgiving of myself during this. Just wish I could be more forgiving of the bloody hospital who need to get back to my surgeon - grr !!

jpmom.. I am not surprised you are feeling a little insane - crap more surgery..sending you {{{{hugs}}}}

Janet my nurse navigator did say that they surgeons office is waiting to hear back from the hospital re: dates.  I told her about your ploy ckolendar and said I was very happy to do the same if I dont here back soon.  Least that did give us a good chuckle.  Now I am pissed about it again, but trying not to waste my energy on it - huh.. !!

I am going to log off now... its 4.30pm here.    I wisn all of you a wonderful evening and hope you sleep well.

jp - I am so behind! I just saw your post sorry so hard to keep up with all this at times for me! I would be so frustrated!!!!! Hang in there! Hoping for good answers tomorrow!

Tazzy that photo is awesome of you and your co-worker!  Your garden is gorgeous too!



How about we all meet next summer in your garden for a BBQ? Since clearly this summer is a blow out for us all.



Allurbaddays: my gastro doesnt know how that particular chemo combo (AC) , if i go forward, will effect my crohns. It's currently already A MESS! I won't go into details.



 Tpolychron, Welcome to the group.



I'm sure I forgot so many on you. I'm psychotic now! Like Sybil!!! "ok I'll do it" vs "hell no". I see my BS for first four week post op follow up. Maybe she can help me decide.



My Oncotype took 10-14 days to come back from the company that does them. Damn them and their 22!



My DH and I have decided to let the idea of my new job that I was due to start on August 6th go. I can't heal and learn/excel at this job. Then what if they want to fire me since im I on 90 day probation during which I MIGHT be doing chemo now.



My current boss of four years called today desperate to get me back there... 2 temps down and now they are just praying I do come back on August 6 and don't take any longer. It's nice to be missed. At least I have close friends and support there.



Stay tuned on the chemo choice. Can anyone tell me how rough was their A/C treetmemts were? I'm looking at 4 every 3.

OMG, I posted last nite and tonite there are three new pages. Wow! Hello to all the newbies, I am sorry you have to be here, but hope you take what you need from this board. To those struggling with decisions, or stuck in the waiting mode, prayers for all of you. To those who had good news, thank goodness, I love happy news! if I've missed what you are going through, I am sending much love.

Like everyone else before me has said, wow, what a lot of activity to keep up with!

Tazzy - loved the pictures and when Juneaubug suggested a BBQ in your backyard in a year's time, I had to smile as I pictured us all sitting around singing Kumbaya

jpmomof3 - sending hugs, disappointing news to hear - hope you are healing well, you are a strong woman

Ramols - sounds like you are doing really well postop, especially having had bilateral surgery - way to go!

SoyaandPepper - I hope you like the options presented by the 2nd MO tomorrow; I also will be seeing my MO for the first time tomorrow also

Welcome, Tpolychron, Ivylynn and CinnyK - thank you for sharing your stories with us, we can definitely relate

2FriedEggs - also appalled at your earlier treatment, glad you took action for yourself and found yourself a new surgeon

McCook301 - I think a therapist is a great idea; I found out today that our cancer center provides access to a psychologist free of charge as part of their services

Better go now, that was a lot to read through, hadn't planned on taking so long and my kitchen awaits clean-up - take care everyone.

Got my hair cut to prepare for this journey. My long curls have turned into a really short hair cut. Mom says it looks good and wished I had done it sooner. Love my mom. Found a scarf at sears for $3. Finishing up my fertility treatments and off to put in a port next week. I'm just beginning my journey and it's nice to read everyone's post to see what lies ahead of me. Thank you for welcoming me and I hope to get to know you ladies better. (just added you to 'my favorites') lots of prayers are coming to all of you having a rough time right now

Wow!  The posts from the last few days have touched my heart. As I sit here with tears streaming down my cheeks I realize how strong and courageous every single one of you are. Your stories are sad, incredible, confident, happy, honest, funny and REAL.

I am so thankful I found this group.  Your kindness, willingness to share and help others amidst managing your own personal chaos are astounding.. My sincere thanks for your support, inspiration and friendship.

Love and hugs to all. 

Wow!  A lot to catch up on this week!  Since the transfusion on Saturday I feel like myself (sort of) again and have probably been doing too much...  I gave my bedroom a seriously needed deep cleaning Monday and yesterday spent the day with my Mom - took her to the movies and lunch and shopping.  It was almost normal and she really needed it.  She has had a hard time with my diagnosis as I have two brothers who passed away from cancer 10 and 20 years ago.  But she has been supportive and helpful the entire way!

I found out a week ago that my cousin's wife was diagnosed with BC.  We don't see each other frequently but were together at a 60th anniversary party.  We chatted a little and I passed along my info (as well as this site) in case she needed to talk.  Well she called yesterday and I spoke to her for a while.  She had her first neoadjuvant chemo last Wednesday and was looking for some secrets to help manage the SEs.  She actually said I am a motivator for her to get through this as I seem to be handling it so well!  if she only knew!  I am no expert but I shared some of my methods to handle the SEs and told her that my only secret is to stay positive in our thoughts.  We did not choose this journey, but I see it as (hopefully) a temporary bump in the road that we can get through.  When I was diagnosed, my mind decided to handle BC like a project at work.  We have a problem, there is a goal/solution at the end and there are steps we need to take to accomplish that goal.  I keep telling myself that -- it's what gets me through the days.  Now that I am no longer working, it is a little harder as I feel a little defeated that my body would not let me continue working at a job I loved.  But I keep saying that is temporary and I will be back to a semi-normal life soon.  

Thanks to all for the comments about handling my family.  I have been doing what needs to be done and leaving the rest alone, including dishes in the sink which makes me crazy!  It's only been a few days so we will see how they do! I think I might seek out a therapist to talk out my frustrations, that might help me manage the stress better.  Although the transfusion wasn't too bad I want to avoid another one!

To all of those just starting this terrible journey You are all in my prayers and just remember we are all beautiful no matter what our physical changes may bring!

Tazzy...I love the picture! 

jpmom (and tina_jason) - while I know there are many reasons to hate the idea of getting all your nodes removed, would you consider it for peace of mind? I'm at Memorial Sloane Kettering and my surgeon said it is pretty much a standard practice for them there as part of a mastectomy when at least one node is known to be positive. I won't lie - the recovery from that part of the surgery is in fact the hardest - and as I told my mom this morning, I'm very mad at my left arm for not cooperating with me in terms of getting back into shape. But I am certainly gaining more range of motion and stregth in it every day as I continue my exercises. And while we all fear lymphedema - I think the numbers are actually in our favor to not get it. I imagine having them all removed would allow you to get all that hated cancer out, no? I say this knowing I didn't do a whole lot of research - just followed the advice I was given since my Dad was in the room during my consult and I trust his judgement, since he has spent his whole life researching cancer and cancer treatments. And I realize the path that works for some of us doesn't work for all of us - but I thought I'd share my experience so far. I should add too that after hearing in my post-op path report that I had 6 positive nodes - spread across all three regions of nodes - I am breathing much easier knowing my surgeon just scooped the whole f'ing mess out of me... Anyway - I hope I haven't said too much and I hope you start getting some of the information you need to come up with a plan for moving forward that works for you. Sending you hugs.

Hey Ramols. Believe me that thought has definitely crossed my mind. I like the thought of getting the cancer out of me. It seems logical and emotionally better. But I have done quite a bit of reading and talking to experts about this. The research shows that there is no difference in recurrence and survivor rates when a full axillary dissection is done versus just taking a few with the sentinel node procedure as long as chemo, radiation and hormone therapy is being done. My right arm is the affected arm and I am right handed. Lymphedema is really an unpleasant thought for me too, although I would rather deal with lymphedema than a recurrence or death of course. And if the research showed that taking all the nodes out helped significantly I would definitely risk it. I would chop my damn arm off right now if I thought it would cure me, I hate this cancer so much.



I still haven't heard anything from my docs. I am betting that my case didn't go to tumor board today. I am about to start harassing my docs now.... Wish me luck.

Ladies: I've been crying for 3 days trying to ce to some decision which I could find peace in. Wouldn't you know i decodrd to go to the nail salon. Wanted to paint fingers and forget for a while. Last minute decided to get toes painted. Woman next to me had breast cancer and same chemo last year.  We talked for thirty minutes. She said it goes by faster then you'd think. She now has super short curly hair. She said its easier to get ready. Ok god!! I'm scared, I'm terrified, but I hear you...!

tazzy- you're fearful of what I've just gone through, and it wasn't HALF as bad as my mind projected.



And I'm fearful of chemo which you have triumphed through.



Pps: possible new boss called today Nd wants to Put my health first with a start date of NOVEMBER 1 st! Hes Just Gettimg the ok from HR. This is an offer I first got may 21 only 3 days post DX. I AM STILL ANGRY MOST DAYS AND HATE THIS FUCKING (screw it i said the F word) DISEASE ... But Just For Today; God has restored my faith.

Good luck juneau, chemo really wasnt all that bad for me and a lot of people.  you get to know the pattern too.  

I just talked to my BS.  I am going to have a re-excision in a couple of weeks.  I have to heal enough to get another mammo.  they want to see if and where i still have calcifications because the DCIS part of my FUCKING DAMN BREAST CANCER (there said the f word too...) seems to correlate pretty well with the calcifications.  He didnt think it was necessary to go to a mastectomy. He just wants to see whats still theree on mammo to better plan the re-excision.  I feel better knowing the plan.  

I updated my avatar finally with my photo from this past weekend.  I am putting away the scarves and feel just fine going topless.   

jpmon-I can't wait to have that much hair. I know it sucks to have to have more surgery but now you have a plan so that must help.

Digitalcowgirl-glad you found us for the support. Just jump in.

Tazzy-Glad you got a date set!!!!! Now we all feel better.

Got my drains out today! The nurse went over the path report. IDC (we knew). DCIS (didn't really know) and 3 out of 13 nodes (showed on mamo). Tumor was as large as when I started chemo. I know the AC shrunk it but with the taxol it expanded. It did show necrosis inside.

It's out and that's what counts now.