2012 sisters

2FriedEggs and everyone else doing recon-you women are amazing. At this point there is no way they could make me do more surgery to get boobs. I think I'll stick to just throwing a fake one in the bra and moving on. I've always been extremely modest (won't even change in front of DH most of the time). So now that I know what the scar looks like I'll just get dressed and ignore it. I'm very good at ignoring things that's how I got in this mess to start with.

ramols- I'm with you I look when necessary then deny it all. Really the worst part is where the drains come out. That is just freaky and draining them makes me queasy. I have to look away when DH does it.

 Hope everyone was able to get some rest.

ivylynn so sorry you have to ride on this train but glad you are with us. There are so many great ladies in this group and all have had a variety of treatments etc so there is always someone to share their experiences with you or to just listen to you if you just want to rant. This whole stinken disease is so overwhelming and stressful particularly as you try to get the treatments all lined up and started as well as waiting on test and pathology results. Believe it or not, there eventually comes a time when although you hate the Big C and every thing thats going on because of it, you manage to become a little more accepting of it. That's not to say that you won't still have emotional times where you need to cry or rant. Everyone here has their moments so please feel free to join in. It sounds like you are taking control of it a little instead of it taking control of you which is such a good thing-you did get your appointments with the docs lined up, you got your lumpectomy and you cut your hair.   There are lots of wonderful ladies here who have completed their chemo or are going through it and I'm sure will besharing shareing the fact that it was doable and give you tips. I'm glad you have supportive family and friends. The reason we are all on here is pretty much because we all "get it" having gone through it ourselves. As wonderful as our friends and family can be, they don't always get it and sometimes we don't want to have our lives with them be just talking about cancer. We are here for you.

Ivylynn: I hear you. It happens so fast and at first you think it'll be one type of surgery and your life will go on and then you find you are suddenly in a world no one understands the language or can feel your pain, anger, etc..



My friend who had double MX is BRACA I told me when I was diagnosed in June (she was in March) that "the only way through it, is through it". God that sucked to hear, but honest.



Slept like crap last night. Couldnt even toss or turn onto my super inflated right breast!



Thanks JP. That hairs looking good. ;-)

Juneaubugg I was the same way last night (and about every night for the last couple weeks) couldn't sleep but I have 2 that are super inflated so side sleeping is not an option; infact about the only option I have is sitting up to sleep. lol We need to have like a middle of the night skype party or something for all non sleepers but whoa I wouldn't want to scare anyone as I sure wouldn't be a pretty sight lol.

Had to go to the MO for blood work this am and fasted when I didnt need to. So as soon as I got out of there I headed in search of a cup of much needed coffee. Lo and behold, the Krispy Creme light was on and it drew me in for hot donuts and coffee. Wonder if that's on the "cancer" diet. lol I figured if I gain weight from the donuts I will just have to blame it on the arimedex and stress, Right? You know though, I don't know how accurate my weight can be anymore since the dmx- I mean you are a certain weight with your real boobs then you go and remove them and get expanders, then they keep adding fluid. I think the only thing to do during this time is to have a free for all, food wise, until the squishes are in and my foobs will be a constant weight again. I say this all knowing that so many of you  like JPsmom and SoyaandPepper are being so good and working out, walking etc.

Whoa... that's one big ostrich face - ha ha!!

Here's the front... we inherited that cement block wall... so I made up the pots and will add to them.  

Super Taz  After that phy-ass story it got worse. lol After the phys-ass said I worried for nothing, then said whoops I'll get the dr, the doc came in and said it was "just" alh but ordered an mri on the other side and then an mri biopsy. That came back alh also but it took me up to a couple weeks before Christmas. So the bs told me she wanted me to have a lumpectomy (actually 2- one on each side) and I said please schedule it as soon as you can. She scheduled it a month and 1/2 later and says "enjoy the holiday-you don't have cancer" you just have ALH in both breasts. I'm thinking why then is it so important I have this surgery. So Jan comes and I have the excisional and they set a post surgical date a couple weeks later for me to go get the results because the doctor won't give them over the phone -"too impersonal". It was a LONG ride but since she assured me that I didn't have cancer, I told my DH not to worry about taking off work etc to go with me. So I drive a good hour alone in a horrendous storm, go in and I am told that the BS wasn't in but that the other phy-ass would be checking me and going over my pathology. By now we're in beginning of Feb. She comes in and is like "lets see, oh there was an upgrade; they upgraded the ALH to LCIS on one side but don't worry that's a precancer. Oh and they upgraded the otherside to IDC but don't worry its a low grade." I'm like" what? so I have cancer??!!" and she's like "yea but I'll have the doctor call you Monday and explain it and take it from there." So I'm heading out, tears streaming, and the one girl at the desk said, every thing ok? I said " no the phy-ass just told me I have cancer and now I have to drive home in a blistering storm and wait until Monday to talk to the doctor. I would much rather have gotten those results in the shelter of my own home, on the phone, since I'm just going to talk to the doc on the phone anyway." Then she looks down at my chart and says "oh, I just noticed,I know you prepaid your surgery but the insurance came back and said you owe us another $300 deductable because it was considered 2 operations." I said I'll have to deal with that next week. She said well "technically, I'm not supposed to allow you to leave until you pay your balance or give us a credit card." I had been going to this place for 8 years twice a year, just got told by a phys-ass I have cancer and they are worried about me paying a balance. I just said " I want to see who ever is in charge when the doc isn't here because I am not messing with this today." Finally some girl came out from the back and handed me an invoice and said " just mail it in when you get a chance" I called my dh and cried the whole way home . He was so sad for me and so mad at the drs office , left work and was waiting with a big hug when I got home. The doc called that Monday and said I'm sorry I wasn't feeling well on Friday; anyway your adh was upgraded to invasive cancer so I am having the girls set you up appointments for scans to make sure you don't have cancer in other parts of your body and with "plastics". I was blown away! I decided when I hung up that I was now done with that entire office and went to a different BS who was wonderful. The new bs said "did you say you wanted a mx for sure" and I said "no I assumed I had no options" since the other doc didn't get into anything else. She couldn't believe it and said radiation ( since the lumpectomy was clean) was an option vs a mastectomy etc etc . Even though I eventually chose the nsdmx I felt like the new bs gave me choices plus she was just so caring. So I sent a check and faxed the old bs a very short "youre fired, I've found a new BS" note. I was amazed after going there all those years that she never contacted me to find out "why". Guess in her heart she knew dang well why. To add salt to the wound, the radiologists office where I had the wires put in for my lumpectomy, sent a note saying the results of my recent mammogram were "normal" not too long after but to make sure I had one next year .  Lol what a fiasco but fortunately  those times are in the past and I'm looking forward to hopefully my last surgery for a long time when I get my squishees. Great job on the ostrich pic. Makes me want one for a pet! lol  and Taz  DO BE A SQUEEKY WHEEL! Get a surgery date.

Tazzy your backyard is WONDERFUL!  I would love to spend a few lazy afternoons with you and be surrounded by the beauty  Be squeaky, it works ;-)  And for a very brief moment - I looked at that Ostrich and thought 'hmmm, I wonder if that's how I'm gonna look in a month' LOLOL  Bald-ish and hair growing in the wrong places...  made for an amusing moment

2fried - wow.  so unacceptable, so completely unacceptable...I would be all over the medical board with that one!  But I'm so so glad you found a true medical professional to treat you with dignity and respect and compassion.  grrrrr, a few chemo fart bombs would be fun to unleash in the old doc's office LOL  I know, I know - I'm such a brat!

 jpmom -  I tried to find those goggles but all google found were beer goggles and tanning goggles ;-)

Ivylynn - I'm so sorry you've had to join us  I went in for my baseline and oops, there it was!  This is a great group of ladies, so you're in good hands

lostinmo - I never would've guessed you for the squimish type, its kinda cute ;-)  It'll be a great day when those drains are out...  And you're not alone in the 'ostrich' club.  After my mammo, I didn't call the hospital back until after they had been blowing up my phone for over 2 days (people and computer calling my house/cell).  And when I did call back in, it was to tell the Director of the Breast center that they all must be confused (computer included) because I'd already had my appointment and didn't need to see them again for another year.  LOL Oh well, what's done is done  

Firestorm I don't know if you were on here a while back when I said I thought my expanders were no longer the size of 2 fried eggs anymore but probably the size of ostrich eggs or something like that. Good ol'Tazzy managed to come up with an egg comparison chart that was so fitting. (page 16) She manages to come up with wonderful pics however I won't go into the last pic challenge I gave her, but she had trouble with that one-didn't you Tazzy?  thank goodness though, LOL

Tazzy that's good though that your navigator is flustered too though' atleast she is trying

Oh LOSTIMO all I can say is OUCHHHHHHH!!! The reattachment worked ok though?

Well ladies....Trying to find a place to fit in and I think this may be the place.



I'm 34 years old, single, never married, no kids, and scared SH@TLESS! I was diagnosed June 28. I had a one month European vacation planned leaving June 29. When I got the news, I panicked and got on the plane. Once in Greece, reality hit me...you need medical care! I stayed for a week, then turned around and came back. Once I got my MRI and saw my oncologist it really hit me how scary this is. In one week I have to decide whether I want to have kids one day, whether I want to take a leave of absence at work, cope with losing my hair and my breasts. Just feels like tooooo much. I start chemo next week so decided to get my long curly hair cut short. I can't bare my hair on my pillow or falling out in the shower.



Although I never wanted to be here, you ladies seem amazing and courageous. All my friends keep saying, "if you need anything..." what I need is someone that understands. I'm glad I found you.

Tazzy-Beautiful garden!!!! Hope you get a date for your surgery soon.

2FriedEggs-That was really terrible what happened to you with your last BS! Thank god you now found another BS that you love!

Ivylynn-Sorry you have to be and yes its a roller coaster ride! We're here for you though and you could scream and rant all you want with us! We understand exactly what you're going through. 

Wow what a lovley garden Tazzy.  I should put a pic of flowers I planted on here but not sure how....what an escape..love it.  LostinMO...What did he do to the finger?  OUCH~   Tpolychron-Welcome..you are amongst friends that get it.  I still feel as if I am a newbie but yet have known these ladies for quite some time.  I had lupectomy and SNB on Friday and go to BS surgeon to hear the path and learn the path I will be on.  How long does it take to get an Onco test?  I wonder if that was already ordered?  All I know is they took 1 node and looked ok in surgery but that is not path report so have to wait and see. 2Fried..what a mess you had..glad things seem more sunny side up now!  Hugs to all~Aruba

first of all... I am laughing so hard ckolendar - that is a great solution to the problem.   Maybe I should bring along Juneau for the ride anyway... sure she has some frustration that needs to be unleashed. ha ha ha ha!

tpoly - sorry you have to be here... glad you found us though.  We get each through with lots of hugs, love, rants, tears... whatever it takes.

allurbaddays... you are beautiful.   It never cease to amaze me how beautiful us women are with bald heads.

Aruba... sorry cant help you re the onc tests.   Bet someone here can though.

Soya & Juneau....I agree with 2Fried.. if only there was a simple solution to your dilemma..hope you can come to an answer soon.

Love & hugs all xx

Tazzy That's a great pic! Is he doing it by choice? We forget that alot of guys with male pattern baldness don't have a choice-A guy I went to highschool with was completely bald by 24 years old. But you're right for the majority of guys it is a choice.