Starting Chemo April 2009

Hello to all - everything changes, but everything stays the same. The worries never go away, and unfortunately, the friends never escape this disease.

Titan and Helen, I'm sorry you are both going through such challenges. Titan, I'm sure that your presence will mean a lot to your friend. I remember clinging to a friend who had gone through bc, and she was the only one who truly knew what my fears were. She was such a help, as I'm sure you will be for your friend.

Helen, I wouldn't even think to tell you "don't worry -it's probably nothing". What I will tell you is that I understand your concern, and I hope that it turns out to be just another scare that we all have to go through.

Judy, this year has gone by so quickly- a year ago was CA! Wow!

I hope you all enjoyed the holiday!



Geri

Helen - was the 30 lb as a result of the wheat belly diet? If so, that is fantastic. Well, HOWEVER you did it, it is fantastic. I saw somebody on tv mentioned it and said he lost a bunch of weight and inches on it and still ate ice cream. (That sounded encouraging to me!)  Can you share a bit more info on this?  And...with 30 lbs off, are you where you want to be or have further to go?  Regardless of the answers to any of these, I am SO PROUD OF YOU. What a huge accomplishment.

I am doing ok. Went to a big July 4th picnic yesterday with friends. We drove in their car (big mistake). The guy drove like a maniac on back country roads, I got TOTALLY car sick and spent the whole time hiding in the woods so I could throw up in the bushes and be undetected. It was a DISASTER. Am back to work today, but taking it easy. Will skip my bootcamp tonight. Am still too worn out from that experience. Oh well. I never puked during chemo but I sure have made up for it many other times!

Titan - I totally get how triggering it is to help someone through bc and chemo. We want to do it out of the goodness of our hearts but it does wake up memories we would rather stayed slumbering.  I know Judy felt that way also, and others too.  The friend I am helping is waiting to see if she will need chemo - finds out next week.  Good for you for helping support her, but we more than anyone understand the price we pay for it.

Love to all. 

Hi all,

Titan, I can't imagine what you are feeling right now with your friend. I walked behind a women yesterday while leaving a concert and it was obvious she was going through chemo. I was shocked at how it brought me back to those days and the emotions I felt.

Helen - I will be sending you positive thoughts. May the hip pain be NOTHING!!!

Well we cancelled our trip to Europe tonight. Bummer...but I'm ok with it. I think my body is telling me I'm not ready to go. My leg swelled up this week (as we finally got the summer heat you all have been dealing with all spring). Our spring has been cool and rainy. I told my dh...I think I'm pushing too hard to be normal. I saw my doctor and she said plan on my leg getting worst with the flight to Europe. It can knock me down, but I'm not out, now we are thinking of a fall trip to New England. I can use my Alaska miles to fly to Boston. So now all you East Coast ladies...tell me what and where we should go?

I've never been on the East Coast. We are thinking NH & Maine but are open. We like a mix of city vs country. I need to be outside at least part of each day. I love to garden and my dh likes beer. I want to go to Bar Harbor and maybe the White Mountains but beyond that I don't know. We have three weeks but I'm not sure we are going to stay that long. Hotel suggestions are welcome. Timing - Sept. 23 to Oct. 12th.

Wishing you all well.

Betsy

Hope everyone is doing ok!

Have a great weekend one and all, hugs, Judy x

Hi everyone!



I am still having to commute three days a week about 2 hours, which continues to wipe me out, so forgive me for not writing often, but I do read every day or so.



Betsy, it is too bad you aren't taking your trip, but it sounds as though you have made a measured and thoughtful decision that may be disappointing in the short run, but will protect your health and comfort in the long run. N.E. is beautiful, especially in the fall. My favorite is Maine, especially the Camden area (Samoset Resort is beautiful, especially if your husband is a golfer), but really anywhere in N.E. is so picturesque. Just bring warm clothes, as the fall. Limate can be a bit tricky.



Judy - so glad that you have come to a decision on your surgery...I think you will be surprised that the recovery will not be sad difficult as you anticipate. This at least is a surgery with a result that makes you feel better - much different than the other breast surgeries.



Amy - sorry you had that terrible experience July 4 th - he the guy at least apologized!



Titan - how is your friend doing? And, how are you doing?



Helen - has your onc said anything about your hip pain?



My weekend is going to be quiet-having some relationship problems so I'm taking a step back and try to see what is best for me right now. It is difficult because I know some of the discontent I am feeling has to do with feeling that I want more out of life after all I've been through. He hadn't changed, but I have and so we are coming to an impasse I'm afraid. Whatever it is, I know I will be thoughtful in my decision.



Hope you all are well and have a good weekend.



Geri

All is fine here. Just very busy.  May have some exciting news soon.

Vacation is a week from this Friday. LOTS to do to get ready. But it will be all worth it once we get going.

Have a good week everyone.

Amy 

Hey everyone!

Betsy...we are going on vacation the same week as you...maybe think about going a little farther south..possibly Hilton Head Island...wouldn't that be cool if we could meet up...not sure if you are a beach person but the ocean will be much warmer further south than up in Maine..just saying... google Hilton Head..we have been there several times and I can tell you it's sweet....very relaxing..bike trails...not much to do after say 10:00 pm but the restaurants are awesome....it is not like Myrtle Beach at all..not commercial in any way...just planting a seed here..

Oh Geri.....BC just keeps on going doesn't it...my dh and I are ok...but not without issues...I'm not the same..and I guess neither is he....this kind of thing is so hard on any relationship.

Helen..congrats on the weight loss...wow...very impressive...thought you are supposed to get chubby in retirement?  lol

Judy..hope everything is going well with you and your new job and your kids...how old are they now,..they grow up way to fast

Amy..love reading your posts...give us the surprise as soon as you can please...?  

Titan, soooo good to hear from you! I am so pleased to hear that your friend is managing so far, she sounds amazing and is very lucky to have you for a friend! As are we all. I was pleased to read that it was a little easier for you to visit her at Chemo, I can imagine that being very difficult.

I am doing ok, managing everything just about. My kids are now 16/14/10. To think that the 14 year old was just in 5th grade when I was sick, she has had the hardest time and still sees a therapist who is really helping her. I don't think I realized just how young she was then. Same age as my son now. The time flies too quickly, it really does.

Geri, how are you doing? Helen, please come by and let us know how you are doing.

Betsy, hope all is well with you; and Amy, waiting for the exciting news!!!

I had a great day out with work today; I am a Tour Operator and we were taken out to see some of the sites that we sell to our clients, they also took us out for breakfast and lunch and tonight we are having friends over for dinner, so I should sleep well tonight! LOL!

Sending you all hugs, I will come by again soon, Judy xxx

Hi all,

Well a broke down and ordered a jovi leg compression garment. OMG...I was shocked when I went to pick it up. Actually I refused it, even though it was made to order. The women I worked with said it would be expensive, I asked, what's expensive? She said about $500-$600 dollars. I said OUCH but ok'd it since I knew I needed it....then when it came in they asked me to sign a receipt for $1275, I said no. I ordered a $500 item, not a $1200 item. So I went home and just got super depressed. The owner of the store called me on Monday. We negotiated, I will pay up to $600 if the insurance doesn't pay, she will write off the balance. It's a racket, I swear!

Anywoo...there is a very good ending to the story. I am pleased to annouce, it works wonderful. The first night I wore it my leg was almost normal in size when I woke up, an even better it didn't ache! Day two my leg was normal size. I walked a lot this weekend and my leg hardly swelled up. It's a miracle item. It's not pretty but its effective. My dh describes it like an oven mitt in the shape of a walking cast. It covers my foot up to my knee.

Titan...I looked on a map cause I don't know the east coast worth squat...Hilton Head looks very far from Boston. Too bad you couldn't switch directions and go to the Maine coast instead of SC. We are starting off in MA, then VT, NH and ending in Maine. I'm really looking forward to it now that I have some relief for my leg.

I agree with the rest of you this entire experience has changed us. I look at life differently now. For one thing we as women are stronger now from going through what we have. Life is short...we need to take every opportunity to be happy.

It's getting late. Hope you all have a good week.

Betsy

Geri how was the play? Tomorrow we are headed to a concert too! We are going to see EmmyLou Harris and Steve Martin (bluegrass/banjo concert). It should be fun.

I've been super busy at work. Only two days to go before my sabbatical starts. I can hardly wait...no doctors appointments for 3 months. Yippie!

Wishing everyone a good weekend! (Helen, where are you?)

Hugs as always, Judy x

Really pleased you enjoyed the concert Betsy!

It will be great if you meet up with Amy, would love to see a photo of the two of you together.

I am doing ok, the weekend has been nice, but not restful enough. I have begun the work week tired and a little low, but I will be ok, just need to get into the swing of things. I miss having a Sunday; Friday and Saturday do not feel like the weekend to me.

I have still not received a surgery date in the mail, I imagine I will have to call them to chase it up.

Helen, hope you are ok. Hope everyone is ok.

Enjoy your Sunday, sending you all hugs, Judy x

Hi All,

Well Amy and my schedule was slightly off, so we weren't able to meet up. We did talk on the telephone. She as a real cute accent. They were a half day ahead of us on a road trip. I'm hoping they got good weather. Where we stayed in Hansville, it was beautiful. Sunny with a cool breeze off the water. What a wonderful way to kick off my sabbatical. We went to the lavender gardens in Sequim, WA. Also went to a Chihuly glass exhibit in downtown Seattle. Plus I got plenty of time with my family.

I am very saddened with my younger sister, she has definitely declined cognitively since I last saw her. It is so sad to see the vacant look in her eyes when she stops tracking the conversation or doesn't know what you are saying. If you say could you please chop the carrots, she doesn't know what you are asking. If you show her, she is fine. So, so, sad!

Well I need to head outside to water, we are suppose to finally get some warm weather here.

Scheduled my one any only appt. for next Thursday. A blood draw for my Cleveland Clinic genetic study, I think it's called P10 (Molecular Mechanisms in Cancer Predisposition). 

Have a great weekend.

Betsy

Hi all,

I am feeling very bad that I have been lax in posting here. The days just get away from me and I am so tired by the evening, I can't think of writing. I promised myself that tonight I would at least say hello and let you know that aside from being so tired, I'm ok. I have hired a Director for the office that I have been traveling to cover, and she is scheduled to start 8/20. Initially it will mean more days going to that office while I train her, but the hope is by the beginning of October, I could be back to my normal routine.



Betsy, I hope you are enjoying the start of your sabbatical - I have to admit I am a bit jealous . It is too bad that you and Amy couldn't meet, but it must have been fun to actually speak to her.



Helen - what came of your hip pain? Hopefully it was not anything serious.



Judy, you are so dedicated to keeping our little group going - you always post, even when you yourself are tired. I just want you to know that I appreciate it!



Hope everyone is ok

Geri

I'm back. Jet lagged, exhausted and SO behind on work, but here I am for a quick hello.

Yes, i had a great talk with Betsy. We had a wonderful trip.  Saw so many beautiful sights. We pushed ourselves very hard, did some challenging hikes, had long days since the sun is up until almost 9:30.  Lots more to tell you, but for now, I am sifting through almost 800 emails (ouch) and returning calls. The before/after is definitely the price you pay for going, but it is so worth it.

Cancer feels very very far away from me right now, and that is a great feeling.

OH - one thing - on a very steep trail, we saw a memorial along the side. It has some Bible verses, a love note, some small tokens of remembrance and a photo of the woman - probably in her 40's.  The love note was so touching, from her husband (I assumed).  I wondered if they had spread her ashes there.  OF COURSE I decided she had died of bc and left a husband/family brokenhearted. I spent the next little while on the trail thinking of my family, where I'd want my ashes spread, and so on. But it faded away after a little while.

So then, on the way DOWN, we were getting ready to pass the memorial again, and there were 4 young (hunky) guys right there who paused to let us pass.  It was a little steep and I slipped and slid down and landed in a pile of dust right in front of them.  I looked up and they were all staring down at me saying "Are you OK????"  I was fine (just embarassed) and we continued along. But I realized I didn't get a chance to be sad on the way past her memorial a second time because I slid right past it! I figured she would have liked knowing we were laughing there and not being sad.

If you want to see a pic or two of the hike, there are a few here:

http://www.visitrainier.com/pg/hike/13/High%20Rock%20Lookout/ 

 More later and hopefully some pix when I am recovered a bit more.

I missed you all, but we really did have a wonderful time. 

Amy