MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

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  • Sherryc
    Sherryc Member Posts: 5,938
    edited June 2012

    Dianarose and cmbear was wondering how you guys were both doing.  glad ya'll popped in.

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  • barsco1963
    barsco1963 Member Posts: 2,119
    edited June 2012

    cmb - Glad that you were able to get out of the house. Nothing like some fresh air and sunshine to help recover. (and of course some chocolate cupcakes!) Here's hoping for no drains after tomorrow.

    Eli - Church of Cheetos?? Where do you come up with these things? The cupcakes look delicious! I personally welcome acknowledgement and celebration of each milestone. (be it day, month or year).  I appreciate each day that I am given and am grateful that I am responding well to tx. As cmb says "Celebrate the small things"  And I am all for heading in the same direction to find a cure!

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  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited June 2012

    barsco1963,  I like a photo that makes you look twice...             

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  • candie1971
    candie1971 Member Posts: 4,820
    edited June 2012

    DianaRose, glad to hear you in good spirits. Yes, the unknown is worse than what we face, sometimes. continue feeling good!

    cmbear, congrats on the walking. Step by step is what it takes to heal.

    have a great day, everyone!

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  • barsco1963
    barsco1963 Member Posts: 2,119
    edited June 2012

    Eli - And look twice I did - lol. Good one.

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  • carollynn79
    carollynn79 Member Posts: 654
    edited June 2012

    cmbear good to hear you are moving a littel better, I know how it feels to struggel to get around!

    El great pictures! Love Church of Cheetos!!

    Dianarose glad to hear you got thru that first hurdle.

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  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 7,859
    edited June 2012

    Diana, I forgot one important thing. You are now a chemo patient. Please remember and keep firmly in mind that the international association of chemo patients has decreed that when in treatment you are entitled to the following:

    People doing you favors

    Treats, any kind, any time

    The last piece of pie

    Being a bitch

    Enjoy! ;) 

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  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited June 2012

    I have a different take on that last entitlement that Momine wrote about, which I know she wrote half-jokingly.  I wrote something for another thread, a different viewpoint:

    "There are lots of threads on BC.org where venting is commonplace, appropriate and understood by all.  It feels good to get it out.  However, this thread began with someone wanting to tell family and friends to F-off In Real Life  That is not the same.  Not to me, anyway.  As much as we might think it, as much as they might deserve it, going off on someone IRL is rarely the best action, causing complications on top of cancer.  Who needs to add additional woes to their B/C woes?

    Definitely unburden your anger here.  Just don't let B/C become an excuse for sharpening your tongue IRL.  It's already done enough damage to you.

    IMHO."

    Good topic for discussion.  

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  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 7,859
    edited June 2012

    Elimar, I was just kidding, and I agree that even chemo is no excuse for talking badly to people.

    However, when I was in full-out treatment I did reserve the right to put myself first. If my husband wanted to go out and I just wasn't up to it, I said no. Before cancer I would have gone to make him happy. Stuff like that. 

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  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited June 2012

    I know.  I just kind of used your post to bring up my point, since I had been thinking about that issue recently.  Was wondering how other felt about it all, what to do with that B/C anger that we do get?

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  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 7,859
    edited June 2012

    I haven't had much real anger, to tell you the truth. Maybe I should be more angry, but it seems a bit pointless - raging at God or nature sort of thing.

    When I find it difficult to deal, which definitely happens, I tend to go for long walks. Sometimes I go to church. Although I am not much of a shopper normally, I have also found retail therapy quite helpful at times. 

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  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited June 2012

    I got mad about B/C, because I DIDN'T want it to change me.  I try hard not to let it.  I can't speak as if I have a higher stage, but I still think I would try not to let it make me different.  I may end up eating my words if I get a recurrence.

    Some people have real issues, with family and friends doing a lot of the wrong things.   Nobody's life is idiot-proof.   I'm saying that getting all B/C righteous and telling them what idiots they are is probably just going to make things worse.  It is a shame when B/C alienates families and friends, so it is tricky to vent the anger to the appropriate person.  I think having BCO as a place to whine and vent has probably saved some relationships IRL.

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  • Sherryc
    Sherryc Member Posts: 5,938
    edited June 2012

    Hey Middies today is my first anniversary of my 49th birthday.  One of my brother's called and asked me how old I was I told him you know he said yea just wanted to hear you say it.  DH sent me black flowers at work.  Said he could not pass up the opportunity.  He loves to cut up and joke.

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  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 7,859
    edited June 2012

    Elimar, those are good points, and you are probably right that being able to vent here has saved some relationships.

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  • cmbear
    cmbear Member Posts: 1,086
    edited June 2012

    Happy first anniversary Sherry!! No Black roses here! I'm thinking that this is a red velvet cake--yummm! I'll be celebrating my 2nd anniversary in August, I like being 2 better that the alternative!! 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2012

    Elimar: good topic! I know that being able to talk on this forum...even not really "angry"...has saved my relationships with my DH, DM, DS's, and my closest friends....who God love them, can't always "get it" when my responses and emotions don't match what they think they should be. Ive always had an issue with expressing anger....tend to bottle it up and then explode inappropriately.....but I AM getting better and know that exercising, praying, and having you ladies who always "get it" to talk to are my best defenses. Blessings to you all!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2012

    Happy birthday....oops anniversary, Sherry!

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  • Sherryc
    Sherryc Member Posts: 5,938
    edited June 2012

    Thanks ladies and claire I love red velvet cake.

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  • walker2222
    walker2222 Member Posts: 558
    edited June 2012

    I have been off the boards for months and have tried to catch up on the past few days. 

    It is do good to be able to talk to gals who have gone through what we have even though each journey is so different.  It is ok to yell, scream, $%&##*, cry, we all understand.

    A coworker and friend of mine has had a set back in her journey.  We got to know each other because we were undergoing chemo at the same time at the MO office.  Found out a week and half ago she had a brain tumor which was operable, had it removed last Sunday.  She was getting lunch in a drive thru and felt dizzy, put the car in park and that was the last thing she remembers before she woke up in the ER.  I have talked to her and she is doing better than expected.  She will have to have radiation treatments but that is it.  Tumor was about the size of a dime.  Keep her in your prayers and she continues to recover, it was a metastasized tumor.

    I'm doing well, keep getting my monthly Zoledex shot and next month get my 6 mo Zometa infusion and see MO.  I went to see a podiatrist my MO recommended about my feet pain due to neuropathy.  He prescribed me a prescription only vitamin for neuropathy pain call Metanx.  Primary used for diabetics.  It has worked wonders and has minimized my pain that I can go few days with having to think about it.  It is not covered under insurance so $$$ about $110 for 1 month.  Found an online pharmacy that the Doc. sent the prescription to for $48.00 per month so I can now get it cheaper.  This time two years ago I started chemo.  So you all can get through it and then love on others as they go through it.

    Diana your a trooper, enjoy your days off.

    Cmbear - baby steps, slow and sure wins the race.

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  • Dianarose
    Dianarose Member Posts: 2,407
    edited June 2012

    Hi everyone- I too am not really angry. I appreciate things more. I do get mad when woman make dumb comments, like the one at my son's school who asked me if it hurt when they cut my boobs off. Are these people for real??? I don't think I tolerate the things I used to though. Like Momine I don't do things I used to feel obligated to do. I don't go to baby and bridal showers for those who I haven't heard from in yrs until the invitation came in the mail. My time is too precious to waste on things I don't want to do. Let's face it, most men will never get it when it comes to what we have all been through and are still going through. I told my BF that my hair was starting to shed when I combed it. His reply was,"now you know how I felt when I started to lose my hair". Not even the same. I just don't tell him as much anymore. I come here to vent because you all understand.

    I went to my primary doc yesterday and she hadn't seen me since my fills. She wanted to see them and then she asked if she could feel them. I told her to go ahead I can't feel them. She said they were awesome and that they looked like a 16 yr olds. It made my day. I tried on my bathing suit and I was so surprized how I looked. BF sure liked it. Funny he gets that part.

    You are all family and we are in this together and I don't think I would be as strong and positive without you all. I am enjoying the eating without nausea during the chemo break. I have been craving fruit. Went yesterday and picked 12 pounds of strawberries. I am going to make some jam tomorrow.

    My new stress is I am letting my 13 yr old fly to NC to visit his sister. He has never flown before and he leaves on the day I start the chemo again so I can't see him off. That will be a Xanax day for sure.

    Hope you all have a great night. Love and prayers to all of you.

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  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited June 2012

    sherryc, Hope your celebration is in full swing, and congrats on getting to the "mid" of the Middies.

                                                                    

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  • Valjean
    Valjean Member Posts: 1,898
    edited June 2012

    Sherryc ~ Just flying through but wanted to wish you a very Happy, Beautiful Birthday.

    E ~ Loved hearing about your cruise with your son. Beautiful pictures & special memories made.

    Best wishes to everyone.

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  • Jeannie57
    Jeannie57 Member Posts: 2,144
    edited June 2012

    Hi, I haven't checked in in awhile. Like DianaRose, I am gettingCMF, but every week. Other than being constipated and having a weariness unlike anything I've had before, I am fine. Chemo #5 is Friday. I'll have 24 plus radiation in between the 12th and 13th. A long haul. But coming to bco has been so helpful and I thank you all. You inspire me.

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  • barsco1963
    barsco1963 Member Posts: 2,119
    edited June 2012

    I can't say that I have ever really been angry since dx. I have certainly been sad, scared, worried and even thankful (for the wonderful love and support all around me). Perhaps it is because of who I am - I have always trusted that I am where I am supposed to be. I cannot change what is, but I can learn to live with it and deal with it. I suppose I have a great deal of my mother in me, she was always the optimist! I do miss her.

    I am grateful for this forum that allows us to share our thoughts and feeling without prejudice. You gals are great!

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  • Ossa
    Ossa Member Posts: 919
    edited June 2012

    barsco.. very nicely said. You sound like a wonderful lady.

    SherryC  Haaaaaaappyyyyyy Birthday

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  • Sherryc
    Sherryc Member Posts: 5,938
    edited June 2012

    thank you all for the Birthday wishes.  It was a good day and I have friends taking me to lunch tomorrow and then another celebration on Friday with some other girlfriends.  Going to try to spread this out as long as possible. hehe

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  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited June 2012

    Always good to get an update from you, Valjean.  Realy don't mind hearing less often from people, as long as it means they are busy with their new normal (which is possible for many to make into a better normal than before, with a little effort, believe it or not.)   How are your Aromasin S/E's?   You are over the hump now, at 2 1/2 years.  I just reached that myself on Tamox.  We can coast the rest of the way, can't we?

    Haven't had any Newbies come by lately.  Since the format change, I think they have tapered off, or is that just coincidence?

    Continuing good luck to those doing chemo now.  I hope one day you will be able to look back and just think of it as the summer of the really short haircut.  (Not trivializing.  Just want the nasty to fade from your memory.  Like labor.)

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  • walker2222
    walker2222 Member Posts: 558
    edited June 2012

    El you mentioned the format changed, how long ago was that.  I just updated my information to enclude treatments.

    I hope keep in contact more in stead of every 3 month or so.

    Regarding chemo during the summer, if your wig is not working for you, there are a lot of cute scarves now that are cooler than a wig.

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  • lostinmo
    lostinmo Member Posts: 922
    edited June 2012

    Hi Ladies- I've been trying to follow your thread for sometime (lurking I guess) decided to post and say hi. I have a great husband and a 14y old DS. Hope I can sneek in here.

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  • mstrouble16
    mstrouble16 Member Posts: 198
    edited June 2012

    Elimar-just reading the post as I usually do, but your post caught my eye.  How long have you been on tamoxifen (thought I read 2 1/2 years)? I started tamoxifen on 1/28/12 and then had to get off for my Stage 11 surgery and was off for a little over 2 weeks.  I have now been on it for 3 months and while the se's are nowhere near as bad as when I first started in January (I think the 2 week break was what I needed)  I have been dealing with minor se's of tamoxifen.  Mine are the blurred vision, serious joint pain (especially my tail bone), no appetite, mood swings and hot flashes. The ones that bother me the most are the mood swings and the joint pain (really just the tail bone ouch!).  I just feel so darn sad all the time, so my question is does it really get easier.  I feel like such a wus all the time.

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