2012 sisters

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  • vickilind61
    vickilind61 Member Posts: 338
    edited June 2012

    kjiberty, I think I'd rather have the zits.  Just weird; haven't broke out this bad in years.  The occasional pimple, but man, thank goodness for makeup.  Gotta try and look decent for work in teh am. 

  • kjiberty
    kjiberty Member Posts: 1,385
    edited June 2012

    At least you can cover them with a good concealer.  Mine pop up like welts for no reason at all.  Yesterday, I was doing a little retail therapy (actually, I was returning scarves--I bought too much a month ago and came to my senses), and my arms and neck starting breaking out.  The clerk asked me what was going on with me --it was very obviously..I told her it was a chemical reaction,  she then asked me from what.....yada, yada... End of the story, she gave me a big, tight hug and said her daughter had gone through this with lung cancer (didn't make it), but she felt a connection to me. It was very moving.

  • allurbaddayswillend
    allurbaddayswillend Member Posts: 355
    edited June 2012

    My fever hit 101.5 yesterday. that was a scare. But I lie down on my bed and it came down a bit and then I took a tylenol and it has stayed in the 99's since. I have that post-fever headache and wiped out feeling today. My MIL is chemo-sitting me today. I probably wouldn't have a sitter except for that fever spike yesterday - it really unnerved my husband, and me too a bit. I'm not bone-achey tho so I count that as a blessing.

    Vicki - why can't you sleep in your fave pose? Is it the port? heartburn? My port is a bit irritating I've noticed. Hard to sleep on my left side. 

  • jpmomof3
    jpmomof3 Member Posts: 643
    edited June 2012

    allurbaddayswillend, thats is a significant fever, does your MO know about that?  it may just be a strong response to the neulasta which is good, but need to advise you.  I am glad that it has gone down.

  • 2FriedEggs
    2FriedEggs Member Posts: 640
    edited June 2012

    Tazzy oh wow those are the scrubbies of my past! made me really miss my ol' dog when I saw that picture because he always carried one around in his mouth. (in hindsite it was probably stuck in his teeth-lol-nah it wasn't) we didn't have the pretty colors though at the time we used them;we just had yellow and maybe a paler orange than the purdy blue and orange ones in your pic!

    Wish I could go in the water so I could load up on scrubbies and experiment with them in my swim suit and report back on how they were when I got out, etc . I feel that would be the least I could do while you are in the BGC Frown  but it doesn't look like I'll be able to go in the pool or ocean for a while until this heals up. When I told my hubby about the scrubbies he laughed but said he's surprised I wouldn't try wadding up duct tape because I have a weird facination for the stuff and buy all colors and patterns lol. I loved when they featured it on the tv shows Mythbusters and How's it made. No one wants to tell me when anything stops working or breaks because they are afraid I'll try to duct tape it. I know, it's very strange. Can I blame it on cancer like I try to do everything else? lol 

    I'm so sorry you guys have to go thru the sickness, hives and zits, nausea, etc. with your treatments. That sucks. You're all in my thoughts and prayers. 

    Vickilind you have the 16 year old preprom zits and I have the 16 year old foobs. Well actually thats a great exaggeration on my part- I have more like foobs of an 11 year old. Lol  If I can get a fill tomorrow maybe I'll be up to those of a 12 yo!

  • Tazzy
    Tazzy Member Posts: 2,546
    edited June 2012

    Jpmom.... Would love it if you would post a picture of Thor.

    Good to see you again MaddyMac.

    I have the Neupogen  shot and have none of the breaking out in zit issues...but for about 7 days after my bones feel as though they are being crushed from the inside and then I just ache.... And ache until the next round.  Also the watering eyes and nose... has to be the most irritating SE of all.

    To everyone trying to watch movies... I think that should be listed as an SE .... "The inability to watch a movie to the end".

    So I had a meltdown last night.    We had such a great Saturday at a friends BBQ - catching up with friends not seen for a while and generally just having a real fun time.   But yesterday I woke and felt like absolute crap, bones aching, walking like a 99 year old, emotionally spent, frustrated because I felt crap and just sick and tired of being sick and tired and if I do anything fun its like punishment for enjoying myself....so as you can tell was feeling pretty sorry for myself.   And of course most of it was DH's fault, poor guy and  I just cried and bitched
    and whined and my darling DH just walked over to me, hugged me and kissed my bald head and told me to get it out of my system and it would be OK and we'd get through this.    So course then I felt bad about blaming him - I bet most of you can relate to that feeling eh?     I am happy to say that I feel a lot better today.... Only minimal aching and emotionally feel stronger.   

    Thanks for listening ladies and I hope that today that any of you with SE's they are minimal and everyone can smile and laugh as much as possible.

  • 2FriedEggs
    2FriedEggs Member Posts: 640
    edited June 2012

    Oh Tazzy I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time. With all the treatments and side effects you are going thru you deserve to just cry, bitch and whine all you want; we're here to support each other thru bad and good, right? Your DH loves you , understands and doesn't take your "blame" to heart. He definilely sounds like a real keeper - hugging you and telling you to get it out of your system that you will get thru it together instead of some of the more dismissive things I see on the boards coming from husbands when the wife gets emotional like oh stop crying you'll be ok etc, etc. My hubby is like yours thank goodness-they love us and they don't like seeing us hurt. I haven't been too emotional throughout all the diagnosis, surgery, etc but Saturday my dh was telling me about some show thats going to be on that is going to explore the relationship of dogs to their owners. We are both major dog lovers. Then he's like oh I don't think you'll want to see this part and goes on to read the synopsis detailing how they will talk about the dogs that have to be put down and how it's done. I just had so much emotion pent up that when he read that part I went off on him and started crying and whining . I know normally I would have just voiced anger that so many dogs have to be put down and we'd have talked about the rest of the article. Instead I told him he ruined my day reading that to me, that he should have known how upsetting that would be to me, etc etc and proceeded to cry like a baby. Poor guy kind of just looked at me, said "i'm sorry and hugged me while I cried it out. It just felt good to cry and 10 minutes later I was fine. I'm afraid to fall asleep now though for fer he'll have me committed to an insane asylum like he probably should.lol   

    I'm glad you are feeling better today

  • jpmomof3
    jpmomof3 Member Posts: 643
    edited June 2012

    Tazzy, I am glad to know that I am not the only one that melts down...glad that you are feeling better.  My heart goes out to you.

    I am trying post a photo of Thor, my german shepherd, but cant figure out how to do it, if any of you know how please send me your wisdom.

  • jazlaumir
    jazlaumir Member Posts: 91
    edited June 2012

    Hello,

    I've recently joined this site after being diagnosed in May.  I have been posting questions here and there but just found your link this morning which helped with alot of my questions and anxiety. I am trying hard to stay strong and positive but I have to admit it has been a struggle as lately I have been feeling sad, depressed and anxious. I wish I could say diferently.

    I had a lumpectomy last Tuesday after agonizing over the lumpectomy vs mastectomy decision up until that point. My BS at the University of Michigan Cancer Center suggested that I take it slow and proceed with the lumpectomy with Sentinal Node Biopsy and take it from there.  

    Well my Path reports came back and I didn't get clear margins, they also found DCIS n addition to the IDC with 3/8 nodes positive. 

    I have an appointment today in about an hour to discuss next steps.  I'm sure that that discussion will include re-excision vs Mastectomy and proceeding with axillary lymph node dissection vs other treatment.

    I realize that this is a decision that I have to make but it does help to hear from those of you that had to face this as well.  I think I just want the Mastectomy and clear this cancer out as much as possible.  My BS already said that I most likely will face Chemo and rads either way. 

     Thanks for this thread. Best wishes for all.

    m

  • 2FriedEggs
    2FriedEggs Member Posts: 640
    edited June 2012

    oh jpmomof3 hope you are still feeling a little better. Both of you are superladies and have certainly earned those meltdowns. Like we have all said we don't know how you do it with little ones at home-you are supermom, too. I want to see a pic of Thor too. I'm sure our super-Tazzy will be able to tell you how since she posted those scrubbie pics.

  • Tazzy
    Tazzy Member Posts: 2,546
    edited June 2012

    2Fried... hope we both get committed to the same asylum then is all I can say Tongue out Happy to hear you also have a wonderful DH.

    And for me anyway, I dont realise how much emotion I have in me, until something really small triggers it and then the tears just fall and fall and fall. And yes it does feel good after.

    I think the whole week just came to a head yesterday.. the appts with the RO and BS and disappointment of that outcome. Just the whole bloody fatigue thing. 

    All of us with supportive, intuitive partners are so fortunate. I cannot imagine having husband who isn't  supportive through this...I really cant. One woman I heard about, her husband refused to even talk to her about her diagnosis.... I have to be honest I think I'd be kicking him into touch along with my BC.

    I try not to stay 'down' for too long. If I'm in the hole for too long, makes me feel worse and doesn't change my situation. But I do allow myself the time to get it out of my system that's for sure.

    And I get so much from being able to share it with you all.  I love the fact that we can bitch and whine
    here and then suddenly out of nowhere someone will make us smile and remember that we are in this together and its OK to have those emotions.

  • jazlaumir
    jazlaumir Member Posts: 91
    edited June 2012

    Hello,

    I've recently joined this site after being diagnosed in May.  I have been posting questions here and there but just found your link this morning which helped with alot of my questions and anxiety. I am trying hard to stay strong and positive but I have to admit it has been a struggle as lately I have been feeling sad, depressed and anxious. I wish I could say diferently.

    I had a lumpectomy last Tuesday after agonizing over the lumpectomy vs mastectomy decision up until that point. My BS at the University of Michigan Cancer Center suggested that I take it slow and proceed with the lumpectomy with Sentinal Node Biopsy and take it from there.  

    Well my Path reports came back and I didn't get clear margins, they also found DCIS n addition to the IDC with 3/8 nodes positive. 

    I have an appointment today in about an hour to discuss next steps.  I'm sure that that discussion will include re-excision vs Mastectomy and proceeding with axillary lymph node dissection vs other treatment.

    I realize that this is a decision that I have to make but it does help to hear from those of you that had to face this as well.  I think I just want the Mastectomy and clear this cancer out as much as possible.  My BS already said that I most likely will face Chemo and rads either way. 

    My doctors will be meeting this morning to discuss my pathology results and I will be meeting with them in an hour to disucc their recommendations with my breast surgeon. 

     Thanks for this thread. Best wishes for all.

  • Tazzy
    Tazzy Member Posts: 2,546
    edited June 2012

    jazlaumir - welcome to the club none of us want to be in. As I am sure you can see you'll get all the support and comfort here.  Take each day at a time.   I know that my feelings can change by the minute.  Especially at the beginning when the dx is so new and raw and so frightening.  My only advice about your appt today is to write down any questions you have beforehand and also to write down your BS's answers.   Take your time as well to come to a decision if you need to.  We're here for ya sista.  Let us  know how today goes.

    Jpmom... you are definitely not alone in the meltdowns.... As for posting pics... sometimes it works for me and sometimes not so much. 
    Here's 2 ways.  Easiest for me was just to copy and paste the picture... if that don't work and it doesn't always,
    create a Photobucket account (free - just google photobucket).  Upload the pics you want (gives you step by step instructions).  Then you see the little tree next to the smilie face on the toolbar here... well click on that and you will need to add in the URL code - you'll get that from the instructions in photobucket.    Hope that works, and you can see why I would make a very bad teacher as I am so bad at explaining things.   Good luck !!  

    2Fried... that made me smile.. Super-Tazzy !

  • juneaubugg
    juneaubugg Member Posts: 951
    edited June 2012

    OK so I'm back at work for one last week before my surgery next Tuesday, 6 weeks of disability and then I start my branch new job.  I'm going to give notice here while I'm on disability. It's a bit sad that this damn illness has left me know choice but to leave without being able to say goodbye to people after years here. 

     I'm starting to get REAL ANXIOUS about my NPUMX next week. I have my pre-op appointment and blood work/ekg tomorrow morning.  Day by day it's getting more real.... 

  • vickilind61
    vickilind61 Member Posts: 338
    edited June 2012

    allurbaddays; I would recommend calling your MO; that is a high fever and by taking the tylenol, you could be masking the fever.  Seriously, call you MO and report the fever.  Better to be safe than sorry. 

    Tazzy, you have a great DH; it takes a man to take all the crap we deal with going through BC and then to deal with all the emotional stuff we dish out.  Give him a big ole metally kiss!

    jazlaumir, welcome.  I started with a DCIS diagnosis, went lump, then path came back like yours; no clear margins, DCIS EVERYWHERE, two tumors, yada, yada, yada.  Went back for a mx (mastectomy) and sentinal node (SNB), 2 of 4.

    Feel fine with my decision to go with the MX; I just hate my TE (Temp Expander).  (I think there is more on my info page, I think)

    Just don't be afraid to ask questions and make sure you UNDERSTAND the answers.  There is so much info thrown at us and it is all so technical and medical.  Take notes, or better yet, bring someone with you to take notes.  THere is a wealth of info on these boards. So many of the ladies have done extensive research and the Mods are great too!

    Keep you chin up, or down if you need to.  Keep us in the loop.

  • jazlaumir
    jazlaumir Member Posts: 91
    edited June 2012
    Thank you Tazzy and vickilind61 for the warm welcome. I am on my way to the doctor's now to discuss.  Good advice, thank you, will keep you all posted.


  • vballmom
    vballmom Member Posts: 426
    edited June 2012

    Jaz - I had a similar situation. Tried a re-excision and still didn't get it all and ended up with UMX.  Of course, now I wish I skipped the middle surgery but know that I made the best decision I could at the time.  I knew I had to attempt to save the breast and I did. The final pathology confirmed I made the right one, but you really never know until you have it removed!  Sending good thoughts to you...

  • Tazzy
    Tazzy Member Posts: 2,546
    edited June 2012

    Hey Juneaubugg.... Here's good positive vibes to you for your surgery, your new job, the new you.    Don't you
    just hate reality sometimes... when these things are weeks off its not so bad... then comes the day.  But we're here with you.

    And Vicki you are so right about it taking a real man to absorb our crap... and to deal with the ones they love going through this crap.  Really I look at him, especially on my bad days...and can see the fear in his eyes.  

    He did make me laugh though at our RO appointment last week.  As I am 52 she asked about if I had gone through menopause, was I still having periods etc. because of pregnancy.   He took my hand, looked her in the eyes and said "Dr. Reed... have you ever been out with anyone going through chemo... we have abstained for the past few months".  Well she almost fell of her chair laughing.   Its so true, I haven't even had the energy for that... just lots of kissing and cuddling, so not only is he putting up with my meltdowns.. he's getting no reward LaughingWink

  • Soyaandpepper
    Soyaandpepper Member Posts: 368
    edited June 2012

    jazlaumir-Welcome to the club nobody wants to join, we are here to support each other all the way! Regarding you question of re-excision vs mastectomy, you would know what's best for you. Here's my experience, my cancer was IDC 15mm, and I also had the option of lumpectomy vs mastectomy from the beginning and I choose bilateral mastectomy with 1-step to implants ( not everyone is a candidate for this procedure, I was cause I can do a nipple sparing and skin sparing and no radiation). I did my research and found that 1 in 3 lumpectomies has to do re-excision due to not clearing the margins and even though my doctor told me that the survival rate for both is the same, the reoccurance rate for lumpectomy is 6-7% 9when done correctly with clear margins) vs mactectomy of 1-2%. Plus with lumpectomy, I will have to deal with MRIs and CT scans evert few months to monitor the breasts for the rest of my life. 

    I didn't want cancer and the fear of it coming back dominating my life every few months with MRIs and CT scans, I want to live my life and that's why I did the BMX. Please do your research before you make this decision.

  • jpmomof3
    jpmomof3 Member Posts: 643
    edited June 2012

    Jaz, welcome to the sisterhood. Sorry you are here and I know you have some tough decisions to make. Best wishes and there are a lot of people here that can really help. We all are happy to help support you!



    Juneaubugg good luck with the surgery. I don't have mine for about 5 weeks, but have been following those threads. I am nervous already too, but also kind of just want to get it done and behind me. Praying for clear margins and no complication!



    I feel good today, but I am in the BGC for my 11th of 12 taxol doses. They are hanging it now. Benadryl making me fuzzy headed. I have one more in a week and then I am done. I am really taking heart in that. I met with my MO and I have everything planned for the next month. I get joy post chemo MRI in two weeks. I am really looking forward to what that shows. Hope that damn cancer has shrunk.



    I will try that with the photo website. This website doesn't like my Mac for some reson anyway. If I can't get Thor up that way I will change my avatar for a while. I changed it this morning with new photo of me from yesterday. I like to tke a photo every week, it helps me see that there actually is some progress in my hair. Still wearing the doo rags for now though...



    Best wishes all. Benadryl nap time.

  • Tazzy
    Tazzy Member Posts: 2,546
    edited June 2012

    I am waiting to get Friday's visit to the BGC (I just love that acronym.. thanks Vicki) before I even look at the surgery threads.... telling myself its not denial - just too early.   Plus with my chemo brain I'd forget everything I'd read anyway.

    jpmom... that's a great idea about your pictures... I am so going to do that, when it starts growing again.  enjoy your nap.

  • jazlaumir
    jazlaumir Member Posts: 91
    edited June 2012

    Hello everyone,

     Thank you jpmomof3 as well for the warm welcome to the sisterhood. It really does help to have this support! 

    Just got back from my doctor's office.  It looks like I will need to go thru surgery again but this time for a Mastectomy and Axillary lymph node dissection in the next week or so.

     I'm actually at peace with that decision so I know it's right for me.

    Thank you again for all of your support!

    I

  • Tazzy
    Tazzy Member Posts: 2,546
    edited June 2012

    Hi Jaz... good to know this decision is right for you and you have accepted it.  It saves us lots of angst in the long run... and I'd know that.  Also its going to be happening quick.... for me that owuld be an added plus.

    Take care and please keep up posted on how you are.

  • Moonflwr912
    Moonflwr912 Member Posts: 6,856
    edited June 2012

    Jazz, glad you are ok with your decision. Sometimes knowing where you are headed is enough to work with. Much love.

  • kjiberty
    kjiberty Member Posts: 1,385
    edited June 2012

    Jazz:  Welcome.  I had clear margins after my lumpectomy, so for me, I didn't have to make the decision.  However, I had already decided that if I had to the would do the MX route just to get it over and done with. I am glad you are okay with you decision.  

  • MaddyMac
    MaddyMac Member Posts: 75
    edited June 2012

    Hi Jaz, welcome. I've surfed a lot of threads since being diagnosed, and I find that this is one of the most consistently warm and supportive. I pray and believe you will find it so, and take strength and support whever it is offered - this is so too big a fight to win on one's own.



    Hi Vicki - I keep meaning to say, radical hair, woman! I love it!



    Juneaubugg and JPMomof3, I'm right there with you on the anxiety. My lumpectomy is on Friday and it's seeming quite real and imminent. I have a very aggressive form of cancer with a 60 percent survival rate over 3 years. I just keep telling myself that whatever the answer is, whether we have caught it in time, I will feel better when I know, and can have a real plan in place. But my knees are still a' knockin! Hmmmmm. . .maybe a marguerita. Or a swim and then a marguerita.



    Peace and healing to you all.

  • lostinmo
    lostinmo Member Posts: 922
    edited June 2012

    Good evening!

    Jazz- Welcome to our group. Sorry that you here with us. I'm glad that you are at peace with the decision.  It was taken out of my hands. I'll have a mx sometime the end of July.

    Tazzy- Sorry you were feeling so down and glad your better now. That's why I hid most of the week, just didn't have the energy or mood to even post on here. Would have perfered to just sleep until this was all over. You have a real keeper in a husband. Mine goes to every treatment and appt. with me and asks more questions than I do. 

    allyourbaddayswillend- Please call your MO if you haven't yet. I was given strick instructions to call if my fever went over 100.5. Several times I was told this. Hope your feeling better soon.

    Juneau-Good luck with your surgery. And your new job when it's time. Boo on not getting to say goodbye to everyone.  I sometimes still go visit my friends that I worked with for 12 years during their lunch. 

     jpmomof3 hope the tx went well and that you enjoyed the benedryl nap. I'm amazed at how fast it kicks in. Your so close to being done!

    Hope I didn't miss anyone, If I did I'm sorry.

    Spent the day taking my Dad to the eye dr to have his catarcts checked. Then taking my mom to the grocery stores. Wish I could find something new and good to eat. I'm not sure that breaded fried pickles will count. 

  • lostinmo
    lostinmo Member Posts: 922
    edited June 2012
    MaddyMac- I must have been writing when you posted. Good luck with your surgery on Friday. Remember you are not a statistic, we can survive this. Having a margarita with you in spirit! My favorite drink, even though I don't have one very often it's on my list as soon as chemo is over. 
  • vickilind61
    vickilind61 Member Posts: 338
    edited June 2012

    Tazzy, I agree; I can see the fear in DH eyes.  I am not only his best friend, but really, his only friend.  He says to me, when I ask him how he's feeling, "numb". 

    jaz, it's a good thing you are at peace with your decision.  That will make things easier when as you are going through your course of treatments.

    lostinmo, did you try the fried pickles?

  • Tazzy
    Tazzy Member Posts: 2,546
    edited June 2012

    Lostinmo... hope you are feeling better now - sucks when we are down... I hate it and hate bc because that's what it has reduced me to... then I give myself a kick up the arse that being down will not change anything and I feel better if I smile.  Just sometimes it takes way too much energy.   Hey Margarita's are a great pick me up.  

    hope that you are all doing OK with minimal SE's - positive vibes to you all.

    Peace, love and hugs xxxxxxxx 

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