2012 sisters

VickiDallas... welcome to the club no one wants to be in.  But as we are here you will not find a better place for support and comfort than here - no one knows or understands better than this community of what we are all going through.

I had neoadjuvant chemo - last treatment on June 22.   Remember, they are doing chemo FOR you not TO you.   One of the RN's said that to me at the beginning of my treatment.   

Please keep us posted as to the next steps for you.   Write questions down you want to ask and if you can, take someone with you to your appts.  There is so much information to take in.

Take care and all you ladies enjoy your days.

MaddyMac-Sorry about your diagnose of IMPC, you're right that I don't know much about it but welcome to the club that none of us wants to join but have no choice in the matter. 

You could do what ever you want around here, we talk, rant, bitch, scream etc here. But most of all we support each other in our journey and compare notes on our surgery.  

Hello Sisters;

Sorry that there are so many of us out there.  I am 41 years old and was diagnosed May 23 with IDC.  The lump is about 2 cm by ultrasound.  It was crazy how fast everything is happening.  I found the lump while showering.  Went to see my doctor figuring it was just a cyst as my sister has had many and never cancerous.  We have no family history so it hit me like a ton of bricks when I went for the mammogram and ultrasound and the radiologist biopsied me right then and there.  I guess I really knew then.   My doctor called me into his office the next week.  I thought I was going to be fine when I told him my husband was trucking in Mass. (we live in Canada) and he told me to come in anyway.  I thought they always want someone with you.  Any test was positive and the surgeon called me for an appointment the next week.  That was the last week of May.  I have my lumpectomy and SN biopsy scheduled for this Thursday.

The strange thing is I have been very calm about all this.  Don't get me wrong.  AT one point I sent my husband and 7 year old son into the grocery store so I could cry in the car.  But the worst thing has been dealing with other peoples emotions.  Cancer really get people weepy!

Anyway I feel like I am on the edge of a huge cliff about to fall (or be pushed off) and you can't see the bottom.  Here's to soft landings, clear margins and clear SN.

Thanks for listening.

Tookybum-Welcome to this club (I know, nobody wish to join but here we are), its ok to rant and cry. At least you have your treatment plan, surgery date and so on, keep us posted about your surgery and will be thinking about you on Thursday. Wishing you all the best in your surgery and clear margins and SN as well!!!!!

See you on the other side soon! 

Wow I take a nap and it gets busy here.

MaddyMac and Tookybum- welcome to you both. Sorry that your here with us but please feel free to ask any questions (someone might be able to answer), rant, cry, scream or whatever you need. That's why we are all here! 

Let's all get to know each other a little better if you want.  I've been married  18 years and we have a 14 yr old son whom we homeschool. We usually travel but at the moment stuck here while I have treatment. I'm hoping to be back on the road by late fall. Since we can't travel at this time we've started writing a blog to tell of our journeys so far. I'm including this crappy part of it. But haven't got far with it yet.

I can tell my pain pill is kicked in makes me talky and since no one here will listen, you guys get stuck with it. Sorry. LOL 

Welcome and so sorry to all of those just joining us! I agree with sammistar509...this is the only site I use for info! I have also learner that EVERYONE has an opinion about what you should do...except for those that I meet that are survivors. I have a coworker and two friends from church that are 5+ years out from treatment and they have been a great source of info but never tell me what to do! As we know,everyone's journey is different!



Update...I had my MRI yesterday and so learned that there is only one tumor but it is larger than previously thought but not by much. I only was told prelim results. Afterwards I met with the ps for options. So glad I did! He suggested lumpectomy instead of mastectomy due to mri and at tumor conference they suggested the same. I know I have to hope for good margins but if there are not then I will bmx. Reconstruction will depend on lymph node involvement. I have my lumpectomy sentinal node biopsy on Monday! I am so relieved to have a plan!

2friedeggs...so happy that you can see the light at the end...very encouraging for those of us just entering the tunnel!

Sammistar, I know people might have been trying to be helpful with the comment about your ovaries but they don't help at all. You made the right decision for you at the time. Who could predict that we were going to get breast ca (barring a bad family history etc)? What happened in the past is the past. We can't change it so there is no use in playing what if...



I did it to myself. What if I had not been "to busy" when I was forty and got my regular mammogram. Maybe I would have caught things earlier and not had to go through chemo and radiation and had my nodes be positive for cancer.. I beat myself up about that for a while. I supposed I couldn't help myself. But fact is I didn't get the mammo and I am where i am now and can only get the best care for beating the cancer and follow up monitoring. I could just as easily had a normal mammogram at forty and then passed the lump off as nothing for a lot longer and been in even more trouble. Even more ridiculous, I could have had a mastectomy when I was twenty three for my benign fibroadenoma and never gotten cancer at all? No one would have done that. We can't beat ourselves up for the past.



We all can just get the most information we can and make the best decisions possible at that time. I am ER/PR positive and BRCA negative too and they aren't saying anything about removing the ovaries. You should certainly ask why exactly they are recommending that find out and if medical suppression vs surgical removal have different recurrence rates or survivors rates. I am going to do some reading on that for myself too and will ass on what i learn. It's good to talk to multiple docs about these big decisions. And above all everyone is different every breast cancer is as unique as we are as individuals and it is a personal decision. Your oncologists are the best people to advise in these tough decisions because they know you and your cancer best. Some decisions are very dependent on your personality too. Mastectomy versus lumpectomy is an example. Some people cant stand the thought of having the thought of a recurrence and the frequent monitoring and would rather get rid of everything for peace of mind. Others are more cautious and are willing to bear with the frequent monitoring and in some cases slightly higher recurrence rates to preserve the breast. The doctors cant make those decisions, just us with their advice and information.



Sorry I am rattling

I will re-iterate Tazzy and say: welcome, VickiDallas to the place no one wants to be.  Lots of info and friendship here to be found. 

2friedeggs, good you had your second fill. 

jpmom, we ALL have moments of doubt, hindsight, etc.  I regret not getting a bmx, but it's too late now.  We try to make informed decisions, but the information seems to be changing all the time, even while we are making the decision.  Try to be at peace with what you've chosen and THAT is your jumping off point.  Anything else is just regret, etc.

Sammistar and jp,

Oophorectomy (overy removal) is being recommended to me too but because I am close enough to menopause that it wouldn't be rushing things much. I'm 47 right now and have perimenopausal symptoms so it's not a big deal to me. The medical reason my MO thinks it would be a good idea after I'm done with the chemo and rads is that he can then prescribe an AI (aromitase inhibitor) for me to take instead of Tamoxifen. You don't get put on an AI unless you are post-menopause. I found good info on these estrogen blockers using the breastcancer.org main pages and then also looking in the Wikipedia. If my bone density had been low, I would insist on the Tamoxifen as it can actually help with bone density. It is not uncommon to do Tamoxifen for a few years and the an AI though I think you still get the risk of side effects from the AIs. it's hard to remember all the details - so I basically trust my MO.

My big question right now is whether I should just have a BMX after chemo instead of doing rads. I'll have to poke around this forum to see what the pros and cons are...

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jpmomof3... rattling on is good.   I am sure my DH is so grateful that I can rattle on here to my hearts content - I mean bless his heart he listens...but he never really knows if he should answer to my ramblings, if he should nod in agreement or offer another opinion.   I just wish I had found this site earlier - or least had the courage to start posting instead of just lurking in the background.   And really there is no one who knows what we are going through except us on here. 

I am off to meet my RO at 9.30am tomorrow morning.  So glad really as last chemo treatment is june 22 and from Jan 27 I have known what my care plan is every 3 weeks.   So tookybum your analogy of walking towards a cliff edge is totally understandable... that's how I'm feeling. 

I wish I didn't have chemo brain, cos I have read all your posts, but when I scroll back here to answer, I have forgotten what was said.. ha ha ha !! 

Sammistar I do remember your bit about people not getting it.  Heres my story about people not getting it:

My SIL called on Sunday - I shouldn't have picked up the phone as was having a pretty low day and was feeling really crappy - anyway I did (DH was in the yard) and said Hi how are you? SIL: "fine how are you" - Me..'well I've had better days" and then she said 'Why what's the matter?".  WHY WHAT'S THE MATTER???  There was a stunned silence from my end.  Well unfortuntely because I felt like a cancer patient with no patience I told her - I reeled off every SE I had suffered that week and said that having cancer and being on chemo was likely making me a little pissed off and not feeling well for the past six months had something to do with it!  Boy I was so mad at her.    I am sure she'll think next time before she asks What is the matter.    I chuckle about it now...but at the time geesh!

Wishing all you postive thoughts and hugs xxx

Tazzy, last time I saw vball, she was on the april/may chemo thread.  She has had a rough couple of weeks with SE's.  Was even in hospital for a few days. 

Background: I am 51 (on April 24 and had my lumpectomy on the 9th), was dx on Feb 17 or so.  Been married to my DH for 19yrs next month.  I have one son and two daughters, ranging in age 23 up to 29.  Yes DH is husband number 2.  (number one was broken and couldn't keep his willy in his pants.  BTW, he is on wife number 4!)

I am 5 of 6, which is my Borg designation (hint, hint), Army brat born in Germany but dad retired a few years after 6 of 6, so spent most of my life here is beautiful Colorado.  Lived in Michigan and Cali with h#1 then, oddly, spent 2 years in NDak.  My youngest is from, ok, here we go, a long weekend.  I went into a downward spiral after my marriage broke up and my kids were with h#1.  Long story, but baby girl is my "holy 2 x 4".

We moved to a nice mobile home in Sept of last year, which was when we became empty nesters. Had plans, not a nice as yours Tazzy, but still, to travel; visit grandbabies, etc this summer. Now, we have ONE trip still on the books; to go to TX in Oct. DH 25th ann graduating from HSU AND our grandbabies live in Abilene, so, win-win.

Enough for now or there will be no more tidbits to entice you all with. Oh the stories I can tell....

And now it is almost bedtime for me.  I have one Ambien left and I am going to take it tonight and sleep.  Now if I could just get rid of the back pain.  See, that's the thing with this stupid cancer, so much more springs from it: anxiety, back pains, insomnia, etc.  Foob issues, no nipple, drains, well, I could go on and on, but it's bedtime, so I will say:  Good night to all and sweet dreams!

Are Vballmom & Vballmom1 the same person?  Vballmom1 has only the one post that started this thread, and I thought she joined later than Vballmom... but I'm easily confused...

Dear All - I ready these updates all day on my phone but it's just too much to try to reply via my iPhone.  I get SO much solace from everyone sharing their experience, strength and hope; what a wonderful blessing in the midst of a storm.

 I'd like to welcome the new comers.  This is a place where you can just BE... be whatever it is you need to be at any given moment.  I was SO confused at first (and overwhelmed).  beyond having to accept and internalize that I was diagnosed with BC, I had to take on learning all the new language/terminology and then I was told that my decision was a very personal one that only I could make!  WHAT!?  You mean the Dr. wasn't going to tell me what I HAD to do!?  My head was already reeling,how was I supposed to make any coherent decisions?!

I am 44 years old and have been married for 2 1/2 years to the love of my life and my best friend.  It is a first marriage for both of us; I waited  long time to meet "Mr. Right". Gratefully he's Mr. Supportive, Compassionate, Patient, Kind.... (you get the idea) - oh and he's Mr. Funny. Humor has been critical for me.  In fact last week we were "tata shopping" (really just checking out other women and trying to pick a size). 

 Anyway - I digress... I have had regular mamos since I turned 40; so that is how my story starts.  I agonized overLump or NSUMX.  My breasts are so small and this is on the smaller breast and you can already see where the core biopsy tissue was removed.  I don't want to have to go back again, and again as others I know have had to as well.  So those two things pushed me toward the NSMX on my right breast. I will have an implant placed in both when I'm ready for the exchange.

 A very close friend just had her last fill of her TEs last week following a BMX earlier this year.  She has provided me with incredible hope and strength.  I have so many questions and she has patiently answered them all.  Even those regarding my post op fears and how it will affect my intimacy with my husband, how might I feel when I first see myself; and all those other fears... but I know - I need to stay with my feet; which are in today, not tomorrow.

 Sammistar509:  I am ER/PR positive and BRCA negative too and they aren't saying anything about removing the ovaries, nor would I even consider it.  I would absolutely ask a lot ore questions and perhaps get a second opinion.

 VivkiDallas:  I took THREE people with me to my first appt with my BS.  My husband went to every appt for each MRI, Utlrasound and Biopsy.  It's just so overwhelming I couldn't take it all in at first.  

 I have seen an MO and made an appointment to see her after my UMX on the 26th.  I am surprise no one suggested I do that; I did that on my own based on a suggestion fro another BC Survivor.  Whether I go on Tomaxifan or need chemo (we will see when they take the nodes); I will have the appt and initial introductions out of the way.

 I went to a party Saturday for a friends 50th birthday.  I was doing ok at the beginning but by the end I wanted to poke my eye out!  If ONE MORE person asked me how I am I was going to scream!  Really, I just want to be left alone.  When I want or need support, I know where to go and how to ask for it....including here.  

 Thanks Ladies... Hope we can all get some sleep tonight.