Any April/May 2012 rad girls out there?

Hi LovesDogs- yes, my skin is fine...just a bit pink, no peeling, redness, blisters, etc. My PS said that the skin takes 6 months to heal, otherwise, I will end up with a tight breast that will need correction, revisions....oh well. I'm hoping for the beginning of November, before the Holidays begin. I've been dying to get a massage! Glad you enjoyed yours!

So happy for those of you who have finished rads and/or not having any major skin issues.  cindyl hope your temp stays normal and you don't have any doctor visits in the near future.  Also hoping those with skin problems have a pain free weekend.  As of today I have finished 24 or 25 whole breast rad treatments.  I have my last one on Tuesday.  Then I have 5 boosts to the lumpectomy scar and will be finished on Tuesday, June 2nd!  Needless to say, can't wait.  Extremely red and getting more painful...especially under the breast.  Oweee!  Hoping nothing blisters or opens up like some of you have had to deal with.  Gonna think positively for all of us.  Take care and have a great Memorial Day Weekend.  I am thinking of all the wonderful people in our military (past and present) who have been there for us through the years and I am thankful for their sacrifices.

Zgirl66 --I'm using miaderm cream (pricey) but really like it; has some ingredients like aloe and calendula and something else (?) that can help with healing skin tissue. Sometimes I use 100% aloe (no alcohol) first (like after a shower)and as soon as that is absorbed I use the miaderm. I wouldn't do the hydrogen peroxide -- and yes the aquaphor is gooey but you might try it only at night with an old T shirt; it is soothing.  Someone mentioned aloe with lidocaine for the itch and pain -- you might try that. You can get it at the drugstore or Walmart. Hopefully, you can keep your skin intact! If your skin breaks down, then you have a wound -- some of the others can offer suggestions if that happens. Hope you can find some relief.

On Thursday they marked me for my 5 boosts -- but they didn't mark the skin, only put on stickers -- well, of course, this morning one of the stickers came off. I don't know how they expected it to stay on for 4 days with creams/showers. It was loose yesterday when I had rads so they gave me extra stickers. But the whole sticker fell off!! Good thing they took photos. I'm not sure where exactly that one sticker was on my incision line......I'm hoping no more falll off before Tuesday. I DON'T WANT to have to extend my rad treatment, I'm supposed to END June 6 and I have an out of town meeting June 8 that I have to be at.

MOT. Regarding the stickers falling off, my markings rubbed off too with the piles of lotions. One of the Nurses freaked out and said OK no lotion on this area. The other nurse came running in and said WTH! Of course she can put lotion. She just took a picture and measured and said it would be fine. I think your photo will work and should not delay the treatment. However, my question is don't the stickers irritate your skin. That sounds like it would peel off and hurt?

Congrats on everyone finishing or done. Just passed my three week all done mark. Trying to get my life back.

I feel like i cant control my emotions a lot.



I decided to quite my job. So i think i am feeling shakey about that. My DH is working more hours on big project that he loves. He said i could quite so i took him up on it.



I just want to enjoyvmy summer now more than ever. I work as nurse in very busy radiology deprt.there have been budget cuts with medicare not reimbursing as much. Its gotten worse since BC. I love being a nurse. But i think its too painful. Its too draining emotionally. I know this is right thing for me. Its just painful knowing i will be leaving work soon.



I will find another nursing outlet for me. I have to get stronger emotionally now.



Thanks for listening:-)

Fredntan:

You have been through alot and are entitled to feel emotional.  I think we tend to focus on just "getting through it" when we are doing active treatments and once they are over it's a "now what?" feeling.  I had a lot of support from family and friends during treatment and I am thankful for that, but now there is less of it.  Although we have entered a new phase of "survivor",  I think we still need that support.  

I'm not sure that I'll ever feel the same as I did before my diagnosis, but I am trying to look at this whole experience in a positive way.  It has allowed me to re-examine my priorities, strengthen my spiritual practice, and live more in the moment.  I am open to how I might use this experience to help others.  

I'm sure you are a wonderful nurse and you may miss aspects of your job, but if this seems like too much right now, then you are wise to let it go.  Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to fully heal - both physically and emotionally.  Surround yourself with people who will love and support you, and remember, your "online" sisters will be here for you!

Speaking of online sisters, will any of you be moving to other topics after rads?  I'll have to see if there is a survivor discussion board topic.  

Go figure now that I am all done the pain is the worst.  The skin under the breast is very painful and raw.  I was up every hour on the hour last night. The X-Clair soothes it and I am sure that is what has kept it at bay until now.  I know this will pass in a few, it would be nice to have one day when something, somewhere doesn't hurt.

Gayle

Fredntan,

Congratulations on quitting your job. 

It sounds like you're hurting now, but you've just made a tough decision and I really admire you for doing it. You're very brave.

There is another forum that deals with the emotional aftermath of recovery and I'm sent you the link (I hope successfully). It deals specifically with feeling stronger during treatment, than after. One wise woman wrote and said that she'd 'lost her inner warrior'. I found it really helpful, as I've basically turned into a basket case. After eight months of being strong and optimistic I break down over the tiniest things. I don't know what the hell is going on, but it's really nice to know that I'm not alone.

 http://com)munity.breastcancer.org/forum/7/topic/786554?page=3#idx_62 

Lory, my breast is still swollen, full and firm to the touch.  When I saw my RO's nurse practitioner a couple of weeks ago, she said that was normal and that the swelling will be around for a couple more months.  She explained it's taking awhile for my body to absorb the fluid. 

Healing vibes to all of those suffering from sores and infections under their breasts.  Like we haven't gone through enough.

Lory and Michbunny, my breast is swollen as well and has been since week 1 of rads. It hasn't gotten worse but not better either. I am told it is normal too, and I am on Advil pretty regularly. They check it frequently and my PS has seen me - neither seem overly alarmed, but cautious in watching it. I have TEs in, which makes everything all the more awkward and uncomfortable. I am just starting with some redness and itching in the same 3 spots - to the right of my sternum, under my arm and under my breast (if that's what you want to call it!). We will see, and I kinda expect it to get worse over the last 10 treatments. I haven't had any swelling in my arm, but am going to touch base with the lymphedema therapist to be on top of it. Everyone has said that the last 2 weeks are the hardest. Time will tell!

And I hear you, Michbunny.  I pray you are all healing too. I'm thankful for an extra day this weekend for a break. When people tell me I look great or my attitude is great, I am grateful and for the most part, they're right...but they don't know those quiet moments like I know you all do. So much to handle.  And thankful for others who understand.

Andi 

Janet, thanks for that thread. I think i need it.



Argggh i hate these feelings.



I went to a memorial day party. I put on a bathing suite! Its one of these parties where i dont know people that well, and i get really shy at parties. Did pretty good, but started crying about 2hrs into it. No one really saw me. DH & i left after that. I just suddenly felt so different.....and my mind.....i just get so scared....just lately my emotions are getting the best of me. I feel oretty much fine physically.



I feel like i dont know how to enjoy life. Am having real hard time connecting with people. Poor dh, he hates to see me cry.



Tomorrow i am going to get up early and go for fast walk. And i will not read any books or internet about BC.

Hi Fredntan

I am so sorry you are feeling blue. I wish I had a magic wand for all of us. My mind goes to deep dark places occasionally. I try and force myself out and try to visualize a happy time in the future. Maybe try and start planning a nice vacation to visit good friends or family. I visualize my little girl when she is a teenager and what places we will take her. I imagine how her little face will change, her hair, how tall she will be. I place these thoughts in my mind and strive each day to see them come to fruition. We all have a lot of life left in us. We need to persevere and know that this is just a bump in our rode. Just like our parents overcame obstacles, we can too. I get my strength from that. I wish you peace my friends.

They were pretty insistant that I come in Friday when the ooozing started.  They said to call if I ran a fever of more than 100.  They always have someone on call you can talk to at my clinic and the really encourage you to call.  Cali... take care of yourself.

OK thanks. I still have 7 boosts left so I need to go in on Tuesday anyways. It didn't get moist like this until yesterday. On Friday at my appt it looked clear. I am going to ask for a break so that this all heals up. I completed the 28 regular treatments. My nurse mentioned Friday that she would see me on Tuesday to see if I needed a break. She thought that my skin wouldn't hold up. Thanks for responding. I have never had any kind of open wound so this is all very new and nerve wrecking.

Califgirl12,

Sorry to hear that you are having some skin issues.  I too, had to have dressings for my wounds for nearly 3 weeks after my treatment.  It has been 4 weeks now and I can comfortably put on a bra with only a gauze covering.  I still use the Proshield (barrier cream) and Glaxal base as a moisturizer.  Good luck with healing.