~* The Waiting Room *~

Hello to all who wait,

I am in the waiting room for the second time now.  I had one great year of getting back to normal, then last Thursday, I felt a hard lump very near the MX scar.  Its about two inches down from the armpit and very near the implant. 

I called my Onc and she has me scheduled for an ultrasound on Monday.  If I need a biopsy, then I will see her after that.  I guess I am numb and devastated all at the same time.  I am weepy and then resigned.  So worried for my husband and I am so worried it will be positive like the last time.  My hair is just now getting really nice.  Now isn't that a stupid thought??  I can't control this ride, so I will have to hang on and go with the flow.  

Hang in there Jess.  I am sending good karma your way and holding your hand across the miles.  Lets both cross that bridge when we get there.  I read alot of Dune, and when some of the characters are really scared they whisper the "litany against fear".  Goes something like this...I will not fear.  Fear is the mind killer.  I will face my fear and let is pass thru and over me.  And when my fear has passed, only I will remain.

Please let me know when you get the call.  I will be praying for a good outcome for us both.

Tomorrow is my first mammogram after completing all my treatment.  I am so nervous!!  My stomach is queasy.  I've never had a "regular" mammogram before as I'm only 33 years old - the only ones I had were done as part of the follow-up after my dx.  I'm not worried about the procedure itself, but, how long before I get the results? 

I feel like another survivor told me once that for people with a history, they will read the images right away if you're willing to wait.  Is that true?

This will be the first time I have any real confirmation of my NED status, if everything comes back OK that is.  The only other assurance I ever got was during the course of a crappily-delivered conversation at my 1-month follow up with my RO.  I know it's not 100% but I feel like I want as much "proof" as I can get.

Haven't been terribly anxious until this past weekend.  The waiting part always sucks!

(((((((hugs))))))) Allison, sure hope they come back negative for you.  If you want to chat feel free as I'll be around for a while yet.

Love n hugs.  Chrissy 

Thanks Cate, you just answered a question I had from your other thread.  Try to stay busy over the weekend and relieve yourself of the stress of waiting a little.  Tuesday will be here before you know it.

Love n hugs.  Chrissy 

Didn't realise this room was here...but I was happy to see it as I'm nervously tapping my fingers until Monday at 1 to meet with the surgeon and get MRI results and plan... I am planning a weekend full of errands, movies and wine!! Let the distraction begin!

I m Oslo in the WR just found it today and I don't feel any more alone... I m waiting to see the surgeon on Wednesday to check up what it feel like a lump above to my scar tissue. I had a exchange surgery 1 week ago and it may be just from that but I m so scare it was there before and I didn't Notest . Good luck to all who are waiting and praying for all of us . Elena

Finished chemo in January...now have enlarged lymph nodes in axilla and lumps on ribs. Waiting to get approval from insurance to get PET scan scheduled. I was hoping to not have to deal with anymore bumps in the road from the breast cancer. I had to switch oncologists in order to get a PET scan as my former doc doesn't use them routinely. He wanted to do some ultrasounds. As I had 3 ultrasounds which all did not show anything when I had the 2 breast cancer tumors, I was not comfortable with the plan. Waiting, waiting, waiting...

Laural, i'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this again.  I hope and pray that it is nothing!

I found the waiting room!  Gosh, I love bc.org.  New calcifications in right breast, just hit the two-year mark after chemo, radiation and Tamox for IDC in left breast. My husband and I already have me back in the chemo chair, we are sick to our stomachs with worry.  Seems this is the only diet that ever works for me...scared, confused, not understanding why my breasts are such a train wreck, and super-angry with myself that I didn't have a mastectomy when I was first diagnosed.

Edited to add: I'm so sorry what all of you are going through.  The waiting is absolutely the hardest part, the sickest, weirdest, most specific feeling I can't describe.  And I hate the fact those of you who have been through so much can't catch a break.  I try to remind myself that having loving parents, friends and a husband more than makes up for the "unfair" part I deal with on a daily basis (particularly watching my peers have families and have what appears to be perfect lives by comparison).

I received my PET scan results today. The thyroid lit up with cyst and nodules, so have ultrasound scheduled for next week. Excitingly enough though, the rest of the scan looked good and my blood work is holding steady! 

I agree marbars. Waiting is the hardest part for me. My PET scan lit up my thyroid. Ultrasound was ordered with results turned around in 2 hours. But now the biopsy needs to be done by yet another doctor new to me, and the earliest date to see him is Aug. 29. I would like to just go in and get it all checked out and move on, but I guess it's another hurry up and wait situation. 

Finally got to biopsy of thyroid and the results were benign! It was a great birthday present. I am running towards the hyperthyroid side of life, but I can't say I really mind the extra energy, just not the edema in the lower legs so much. Eventually the thyroid will probably need to go, but for now, no surgery, and even the MDS is in a quiet state at the moment. Celebrations are in order!

Hi,

So happy to have found the waiting room. It's less lonely with others there!- especially others I don't have to worry about worrying.

2+ years ago I was diagnosed with stage 2 triple positive BC. Went through year of treatment and still take tamoxifen. Mammograms are worthless but had a mammo and ultrasound a month ago. Radiologist found a 3mm complex cyst on my healthy side (I had UMX). Birads 3. 99% sure it's nothing. So today I went in to have it aspirated and it didn't dissolve in aspiration as it was supposed to so instead did biopsy with clip. I hate the clip. I'm trying to stay calm and not go back to that dark scary place.

I have such good life now 2 years out- my kids are great, my DH is great, my hair is finally a normal length, I'm doing yoga-- we moved into a new house we're renovating. I'm starting to finish some writing projects.

So, Wishing lots of love and luck to all of you in the waiting room with me. So grateful.

Stephanie

Thanks for the good wishes Laural- haven't heard anything yet, but will let you know when I do. I will focus on my family and my life because even if it's back they still will be the most important things and I'll deal with the chronic disease. But if it's B9, then why waste precious time worrying- same for if it's not I guess!