February 2012 MX

I'll jump in your pocket tomorrow.

The last week my incision has become more painful under my arm where it ends. I don't know if it's from wearing a bra and foob more or what. It doesn't look infected, but it's really sensitive. Could it be the numbness wearing off? Anyone else experience this? 

Deborah, as of right now there's NO date.  Hoping for a successful PS appt this afternoon, meaning at least scheduling the artery test if not the recon itself!

Deborah 2012, I think the recurrence times are based on statistics. I've seen 3 years for TNS (I think that was who) and 5 years for ER+. I've also wondered about the followup. My onc said a mammo on the undisturbed side in a year. I have a checkup every 4 months for the first year. After that, I don't know. I know how you feel, the stage 1, 0 nodes now mets give me spooky feelings also. I think being aware of your body and noticing differences is very important.

Hi Wren...I still have a stitch sticking out at the end on the RT and the skin on the top is still numb but underneath sometimes I can feel a weird pain. My sister told me it was the nerves finding their way back. I am not sure I will ever feel the skin on my chest.

Date wise, the BMX withTE's was Feb. 29th and I had my final exchange was April 12th without any problems. The ovaries out the 12th also with no pain at this point, just hot flashes.

Treatment date starts the 12th generic Arimidex. Deborah2012..I am glad you have no SE's, I hope that is the case for me.

Just an update for work...so much for PT return...I am going in still for 9's and it is kicking my butt sometimes. Sleep loss at night may be why. First I get up because of a hot flash then I kick off the covers with the AC on then an hour later I am up because I am freezing...this goes on every hour through the night. During the day I just get flushed once in a while. What's up with that????

The Mets are a worry for me also. All though I got rid of every female thing possible through the years. I can't kick the smoking right now so that is a worry. I have changed my diet to Vegan Supplement Powder drinks (with smoothies) and healthier choices, but the worry is still in the back of my head.

So, trying to keep the Faith, literally. Today was the first day I spoke out with the family saying I am pissed because I got cancer and yes it was making me angry today. I guess I am tired.

It was nice seeing so many updates, glad to see everyone is still checking in.

Wishing everyone the best.

No date yet, ultimately.  However, PS agrees it seems I'm a good candidate for Diep and we're moving forward to schedule the pre pre-op tests for confirmation.  He indicated it would be 6-8 weeks before this would happen.  Since I've an event planned for late July and mid Sept, it might get put off until say Nov.  Will know as of the 15th if need to delay it at all.

Thanks for the well wishes!

Hi Everyone!

I haven't been posting much lately...just kinda stalking instead  ....cuz it seems that I'm the only one who did not have a TE, so I don't have much to add.  My PS inserted a hybrid (pumpable) implant during the MX, so I don't have to go through another surgery to replace the TE with an implant.  

So, Wren...I am also having a bit of pain lately...and my PS says that it's the alloderm breaking down...which seems correct because I now have a "cave" above my foob where other alloderm has been absorbed in my body.  Great.  Oh well.  I guess it's my war scar.

And, Deborah, let us all know how you feel once you get that drain out!!!

And, Janice...my fellow 2/23er...glad to hear that all has been well with you.

HUGS,

Debbie

Hi Deborah2012,

Glad to hear the news...and you tell it so well. You should write books or something, you have a great way of telling things. Seems like you are feeling more yourself again. YAY!!!

Well it's official, the girls and I (and grandbabies) are going to do the Mothers Day Susan G. Komen Walk in Phila. I start the Arimidex Saturday so I hope it behaves for Sunday...lol 

I am glad to see more of the FFF's checking in to say Hi, and they are doing so well

Time to get ready for work...will check in after...Have  a GREAT day everyone!!

I had my bmx on the 13th of Feb, and all is going well.  Nel - like you - I opted out of reconstruction. I only just recently started coming to this site - I wish I had found it sooner!

My surgery went well, and I ended up with a complete pathological response and no evidence of node involvement (yay!).

I have numbness on the side of the sentinel node biopsy, and that is BIZARRE - especially when shaving or putting deodorant on!  But, it seems like the numb area is steadily shrinking.  And odd, mildly painful sensations have started over the last month or so.  Mainly, I have some pain real near where the sentinel node was removed.  I've been massaging it, and it seems to be lessening... Maybe it's just adhesions?  I think the idea that the nerves are firing again is probably spot on.  So, maybe it's a combination of some adhesions / scar tissue / nerves actually working?

I have the cording on the sentinel node side.  That's weird.  Very very mild loss of range in motion on that side.  I'm very active, and I'm in a clinical trial in which they are trying to figure out who gets these cords and who does not (just imaging and range of motion tests and a test for lymphodema)...  Anyway, the therapist tells me that they are somewhat more common in active people... but that they nearly always go away.

Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night with a mild ache on whichever side I'm sleeping on. That's strange.

But, overall, I actually LOVE being flat.  I've opted out of foobs as well.  I do where a super light weight microfiber bra.  I like not having fabric move over my scars while I'm out in the wild. 

I also have two little puffy bits of fat to either side of my sternum.  Those are annoying, and I think I'll ask to get a "revision" - anyone done that?  I think these are similar to mini dog ears, with the dog ear on the right rather small... but the one of the left kind of not so small.   They don't bother me except that I kind of find them ... ugly. This is another reason I wear the lighweight bra out in the wild - to have a smoother line across my chest.  Post-revision, I'll probably abandon them completely!

Well - that's all I have...  I hope everyone has a lovely afternoon!

Lee

Hi ladies - Sorry it has been so long since I posted. I have been having an awful time with anxiety and depression. I know I should find grateful somewhere in the closet, but I cannot. I had an awful time with the tamox and that threw me into acute anxiety which I am fighting with all my might.

To add to that my PS waits 4 months after final fills for the exchange. I don't know why, but I do know she has never had to redo an implant in 13 years, so perhaps she is doing something with the scar tissue. 11 weeks from today I have my exchange.

 I pray I am emotionally stable soon.

Any words of encouragement would be so appreciated.

Jill

Hi Farmerlucydaisy...some days are like that for me also. I try to find "grateful" too. But I am letting my thoughts turn to positive more and more. It is getting better, but it takes time. Some of it is part of the healing process for me. Learning to except the cards I have been dealt. Even before this happened I had problems shifting gears in my life without a mental fight. I am still not sure if denial works well for me or if I am that stubborn. "Faith" has helped and some days I try to find that too. For now I am going to keep working at life and try not to let this stop me. Easier said then done, I know. But the one thing that helps me get through is, I tell myself, "well nothing is happening right now, so I am not going to worry about it". I have said this to myself right until the time they have put the IV in my arm if I needed to. We are in a better era with earlier diagnosis, more informed options and better meds. Menopause (any kind, surgical, chemical, natural) can give us ladies a mental fight in itself. Try to give yourself permission to hope and believe this is going to be okay. Literally "stop", take a deep breath and try to feel hope in your heart. It is going to be a mental roller-coaster. We wouldn't be human if we didn't feel a mixture of emotions. Let yourself mourn for this and then get back into life. Sometimes I am laughing so hard with my daughters I completely forget for "a moment" what we are going through. Another second later I am heading down that roller-coaster with a pit in my stomach as I remember. Now that I recognize and know that feeling I can let it pass without the anxiety. You will learn to live with it, then it seems to disappear, slowly.

Journaling may be helpful too. (I think that is what I just did and it helps you sort things out.)

PM me anytime if you need to. Keep the Faith, fight the fight!!!

You all are so right. Thank you for the images.

Debbie - You are so right about the high risk family. I feel like such a fool. How did I let it catch up with me? I know this is not the same as my mother, but I was the one who was the well behaved little 4 years old, who stayed with mommie when she was sick to help out. Oh boy. I can only imagine the things I witnessed. I want to scoop up that little baby girl and hug her and tell her how sorry I am. I pray to God everyday to protect my own precious 22 year old, and here I am taking such a toll on her with all my crap.

Damn life is hard. I just need to keep hanging on. Thank you ladies. Please keep the good thoughts coming.

Bern - You are right that I need to accept the cards I've been dealt. Woulda, shoulda, coulda need to shut the F up and get back in the garbage can.

You know it Bern!  Damn those torpedos!!!!!!

And, Jill, you know we're all just doing the best we can with this cancer, with our children, with everything.  22 years old is WAY different than 4, and your daughter (mine is 21) is getting a lesson in life.  I think this does help them to appreciate life more than most their age and to be more compassionate than most their age.  So, I think there are some good things that have come from this.  And, yes, I think that that "4 year old" (or 51 year old) does need some hugs....((((((()))))))

Hi, everyone.  I've not had much to post here lately since I am not undergoing recon by choice.  I did go through radiation which ended two weeks ago.  I'm not sure if anyone else in the FFFs had radiation because I don't recall reading about it.  It looks like I will have a permanent or semi-permanent tan in the area.  I also had skin necrosis on the prophylactic side, and it has finally healed three months later to the day!  Otherwise, I am doing well and feeling like my pre-cancerous self which is great considering I had chemo, surgery and rads.  I do find I don't want to push myself either mentally or physically in the ways I used to.

I'm glad everyone seems to be doing well and approaching or getting through the recon process.  Love to all.