February 2012 MX

Deborah2012

Good evening to the FFF's,

It is so appreciated to read post of some of our fellow Feb. MX and BMXers who haven't posted in a while. Farmerlucydaisy, LLinAZ, Mary625, and even wren44, I've wondered how you have fared.

Farmerlucydaisy, so glad that others with family histories have responded to your concerns.  We are your buddies and we all shared February 2012 together.  Kinda like "Do you remember where you were when JFK was assassinated or 911"?  Yes.  I do.  For my personal BC "terrorist attack", I was right here on this board that our dear Nel started with my BC sisters.  Jill, a benefit of a longer lead time between surgeries is that you'll have more time to heal and get emotionally prepared for yet another BC intervention.  If you go back and read some of my earlier posts, I couldn't figure out why I wasn't positively ecstatic about my final reconstruction surgery. Sometimes pacing ourselves (if the doctors provide us that option) allows our bodies to better tolerate and adjust to the treatments.  There is mental preparedness, too.  I had to play catch up.

Bern25, I am laughing about the surfacing stitches.  I've had those, too. I asked my PS what's with the mustachioed scar?  He said sometimes the stiches work their way to the surface. You might be a breast cancer patient if your foob's whiskers make you recall Bill Cosby's "Little Tiny Hairs" routine and you find yourself saying "Hunh" in front of the mirror. Let us know how the Arimidex (Anatozole, whatever) goes.  Have fun on your Komen walk.

DebbieOs, I've cried, groused, ranted, and "wallowed" in it plenty to you on the phone.  You also crack me up and fortify me.   You're a marvel!

Happy Mother's Day to all.

Bern25

Hi All!

Deborah2012, You crack me up! I love it! "Mushtachioed Scar" is the best I've heard yet. Are you sure you don't write books? You have quite a way with words.

So...today is my first day on Anatozole and I am such a baby that I have my family on standby in case of a reaction. I have bargained my way from, "please God don't let me have any SE's...to..."Please God, I can handle some SE's if I just don't get an allergic reaction"...uggh. Hopefully with an active weekend I will forget I am even taking them and get over the hump already.

Hope everyone enjoys their Mother's Day weekend!!!!!

DebbieOS

Yes....FFF's....HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL OF YOU!!!!! 

Nel138281

Happy Mother's Day to all FFF.  We rock

Enjoy the day

Nel

LLinAZ

Happy Mothers Day to all you amazing women! Take some time today to appreciate all the horrible CRAP we have been through and to admire the strength it has taken to get where we are.

cajmi

Hi My BFFF's,

Wow, it has been a while.  I've been spying on the lot of you, but just haven't had time to post with my crazy work schedule.  It should be getting back to my normal work schedule soon which will help tremendously.  It sounds as if everyone has had things going on, good and a few not so.  Congrats to all on the good and hang tough to those of you struggling!!!

I saw my internist who agreed to send me to the MO, just so I can make sure that an annual manual breast exam is adequate follow up.  It sure make me a bit nervous since I didn't have a discernable lump this time.  I guess we'll see what she says and go from there.

I'll have to get all my dates on the calender for the exchange surgeries.  Congrats to Deborah on hers and I'm glad things are going better!!!

To all of you on the various hormones, I wish you no side effects and cool breezes to combat those hot flashes and night sweats!!!

Wish I had time to comment on all the posts, but alas, I've been remiss in my duties here and haven't been able to keep up.

As always, best to all my Feb Friends.  You're always in my thoughts and prayers:>

Carolyn 

Gina9195

Hi everyone, I haven't posted on this thread for quite awhile, but I do check in occasionally to see how my fellow February MXers are doing. The surgery symptoms for me seem like a thing in the past. I still have a TE, my PS does things much differently then what I've seen here. I've only had one fill since my surgery. Initially he started with 150cc's, and then added 180cc's 6 weeks later. My skin is squishy and ready for its next fill this Friday, six weeks since the last. Then I'll wait about 3 months for my implants. He said its all about healing. He's been doing this for over 25 years, so I'm trusting he knows what he's doing. The Tamoxifen kicked my butt at first, but now, 8 weeks later, except for the afternoon sleepies, I'm fine. My latest joy is lymphedema. I noticed that when I exercised my upper arm felt heavy, where it is still numb from the node biopsy. My onc sent me to a PT, and she measured me, and I'm swollen just in that one area. She said that heaviness I feel during vigorous movement is stage 0 lymphedema so today I pick up my sleeve and gauntlet to wear when exercising, including walking outside. I thought it was just my nerves refiring, so I'm glad I said something before it got worse. I'm not looking forward to wearing this garment, especially in the heat, but I guess it's just another thing I need to deal with. Glad to see everyone is doing as well as can be expected.

Deborah2012

Hi FFF's,

What a pleasure to hear from some of our buddies! I really appreciated your posts.



Saw my PS yesterday (not his partner whom I saw for drain removal when my PS was On vacation last week). He wants me in a sports compression type bra for a month. Agggggh! . There are no complications, everything is healing beautifully.



I asked if the slight rippling im seeing on TweedleNumb Foob is due to saline rather than silicone? He informed me it's because "you're so thin and you'd have the same result with silicone."

I am extremely happy with the results. They are matching more everyday.

The sports bra wore me out, so I went to bed at 8:30pm last night! Recall how outraged we were as kids to Have bedtime before it got dark in the summertime? I laughed. No problem, now.

I'm on a break at work. I'm sleepy!!!! How can this be?



So far so good with Anastrozle (AI). No SE. I'm thinking I still have residual anesthesia etc.



But dang ladies. The boobs look good & I don't miss the TE.



I'm on a break at work.

Galsal

Good going Deborah.  Some where around July 1st or earlier should be my recon.

Deborah2012

Hey there Galsal,

So they were able to schedule your recon. pre your reunion? Do I have that bass ackwards? How much recovery time before your reunion?  It is nice having a date range.  You can mentally prepare for it. 

How did your mole turn out? 

Gina9195, that stinks about the Lymphedema.  Sounds like you were vigilant.  Ounce of prevention worth pound of cure comes to mind.  I think Galsal had a bout with the big L, too?

Bern,  How are the AI's going?  How was your walk? 

Cajmi, we understand if we can't always post.  Just knowing we're looking out for one another makes us feel comforted and re-affirmed.

I heard two co-workers casually share with one another how they were down with colds or something last week and missed a day or two of work.  I somehow found that amusing. It seemed so terribly insignificant to me.  I didn't feel any animosity.  It didn't alter my feelings for them.  I didn't feel a desire to contribute.  I felt almost like when a parent overhears little kids being uber concerned or wowed by something and as parents we know it's nothing, but find it charming. I know. I'm really twisted. Next moment, TweedleDee sent me a little chest muscle cramp to snap me out of my stupor. 

Nighty, night. I need my ZZZZZs.

Deborah2012

Oh, I forgot.  because my PS commented on weight, I promptly ate a big piece of birthday cake and lots of other yummy stuff this weekend for Mother's Day! So there.

Deborah2012

mma59

Gina, what do you mean that tamoxifen kicked your butt?  I have been on it since beginning of April and I think its causing me some bone pain (my ankles hurt when I walk, etc.).  That's all I think.  Did you have that and has it gone away? 

Deborah, glad to hear you like your boobs!  I can't wait to get rid of this TE.  Hoping my arm will feel better when it is gone.

 Hope everyone has a good day!

Gina9195

mma59: When I began the Tamoxifen, I had horrible side effects. Extremely emotional, felt like I was in a fog, sleepy every day around 3:30 and constipated really badly. I actually stopped taking it for a few days to regroup. I changed the time of day I was taking it (I take it at 6:30 p.m.), and slowly things began to clear. I'm diligent with fiber and drink a ton of water. I too have noticed some aches in my legs recently. It almost feels like shin splints even though I haven't exercised in a few days. I've also been staying as active as possible, even if it means just taking a walk around the block. At first every little thing I blamed on the drug, but now I'm not thinking about it as much.

Bern25

Hi Ladies,

It is nice to see more posts...hope everyone is doing well..

Just wanted to update about the Anastrozle...I think I am doing okay with it...I had no problem walking Sunday (it was a great day) but I did notice I get very tired in the afternoon...Monday was a bad day with anxiety and felt like I had a new chest pain which sent me into a panic attack...called the doctor Monday morning and waited for a call back only to find out I turned my phone off by accident and missed all calls for the afternoon...ugggh...sooo...got up Tuesday with less anxiety (had to give myself the pep talk about fear just being in my head about taking such a tiny pill) and spoke to the doctor...she wanted to put me on Effexor...NOT...I think I can do this without that...smoking is starting to make me feel sick so I am cutting back and totally glad about that...except for the hot flashes and mild belly ache the AI is fine...

Deborah2012...what time do you take your AI?? I have been taking mine at 6am. (BTW I also had CAKE Sunday...LOL)

Hope everyone is doing better today then yesterday....

Galsal

How are y'all doing? How nice to see the gang communicating. 

Yes, I've had LE since the SNB and BMX.  Very mildly in the bicep on the SNB side and moderately in the trunk on the same side.

The reunion was cancelled due to a low level of registrants to attend.  That allows me to have Recon at late June or early July instead.

Don't go back to the Derm again until 6/26.  I can't imagine they'd wait all that time to tell me distressing news.

Deborah2012

Hi Fab Febbie Females,

Bern25, I take my Anastrozole first thing in the morning along with my synthroid and vitamin D on an empty stomach.  I eat breakfast about 2 hours later.  So I take meds at about 6:30 am and eat breakfast at about 8:30 am.  I eat all day.  Probably about every 2 hours but it's little portions of my lunch and snacks all day.  I don't know if that has any bearing on the AI's SEs.  

Hey Galsal, what a bunch of party poopers regarding the reunion.

Bern, I had a MX so our situations may not be exactly comparable.  However, here's what happened to me.  When I lay down to sleep at night, my recon Natural breasted side (that has the lift and small implant to match TweedleNumb the MX side) has heft & weight to her.  There is a heavy weighted sensation upon what seems to be my heart.  Feels like the implant is settling down above my heart area and placing weight upon it.  At first I mentally panicked.  I changed my position.  Then, I thought about it.  Everything is newly cut in there. It's been hiked up and the weight rests higher up than before - as in more over my heart.  TweedleDee used to slide off to the side of my torso when I would lay down.  She doesn't migrate too much in her sports bra. TweedleNumb never gives me any trouble because she is basically a mannequin.  Ha!  One of the old fashioned mannequins- ya know the kind that doesn't come with nipples!

You might be a breast cancer patient if when shopping in department stores and passing the mannequins, you wonder who their plastic surgeon was. 

Sweet dreams.

DebbieOS

Deborah....I now have a new view of all of the mannequins I see in the stores!!!!  Hahahaha!

Bern25

Hi all...

Bern25

Hi all....

I agree, I will look at the mannequins different also...lol...you crack me up.  I finally lost my last hair (stitch) in my mustachio scar also....

so my lastest is....I will be starting Celexa tomorrow for the anxiety and hot flashes.  I also got something for sleep tonight...ahhhh...hope I am brave enough to take it since I HATE taking pills. Sleep is my biggest issue, then the anxiety but I have to do something. I am actually crying everyday now. I don't think I have cried since this all started so hopefully this will work to get me level. Well, maybe I will try the sleeping pill tomorrow night since I don't have work Saturday.....

Is anyone else taking anything???

Best to all...hope you feel better today then you did yesterday!!!!

Nel138281

Deborah 2012, the mannequins will never look the same!  Love you humor

Bern, I have been taking celexa for years.  It began with menopause and mood swings and it has been hugely helpful.  I am not sure how I would have gotten thru this stretch without anything.  I still some sometimes get overwhelmed but overall doing Ok

I had my last chemo yesterday, YEAH.  Onto raidation at the end of May-July and then herceptin for about anopther 8 moths or so.  Not worried about the herceptin, had it before and minimal se's and my heart tolerated well  So I feel like I am reaching the end so to speak

Gentle day and eveningto all

Nel

Bern25

Hi Nel,

Congrats on the last Chemo....YAY!!!!!

I am glad you have had success with the Celexa, when I was on it before I did good with it and coming off it wasn't bad either.  Today is day 2 and I am in that fog with very little dizziness. But I am having nice moments of clarity and I found myself laughing so I guess this is going to work once I get past the initial part. Hope the fog lifts by Monday so I can fuction at work.

How long is your radiation?

Best to all, hope you feel better today then you did yesterday,

Bern

Deborah2012

Oh greetings Fab Febbies,

 Nel- What an accomplishment! So pleased for you.  Thank you for remembering us and making the effort to let us know how you are doing. 

Dixiemine is on deck for reconstruction on Monday 5-21-12 if I'm not mistaken.   Don't be shocked if you are tired.  I'm gonna miss your upside down world.  But I'm thrilled that you won't have a TE in side you.  We'll be thinking of you.  Sending off to the boob fairy on Monday with well wishes.  

Bern, don't be a martyr, if you after a dry run, the anastrozole itsn't cutting it, then switch.  I applaud you giving it a try with all of multiple surgeries.  Can only imagine what the true SEs will be once the anesthesia and other stuff is out of your system. DebbieOs knows.

Okay FFFs, let's talk sex.  Ha!  That got your attention didn't it?  I went to the fabric store today and bought 1/4 yd. (will trim to about 5" strips) of narrow 1/2" or so various laces and trims.  I even bought pink, black, beige and white trim that had those tiny little pom pom deals hanging from them. I must be in a "festive" mood.  I am consumer testing a new fabric tape.  I'll let you know how it goes. 

Seriously ladies, if you are nipple-less in any stage of recon or non-recon and feel like you want to feel a bit feminine, you may feel as I do like when  I used to buy a bra that was even a tiny bit beyond functional if add some lace to your scar.  Obviously, flat laces under clothing work best.   Every once in a while, you might want to give yourself a perk and adorn a bit of Foob lingerie. It's fun! TE's, reconstructs, and plain ol' dressing up your battle scars with some feminine badges might make you smile.  I feel pretty when I sport my piece of lace covering my scar.  You can color match it to lingerie that you already have.  I do it for myself. Surprise yourself on occasion with wearing it under your undergarment.  When you undress, you might feel as I do, "Oh, I forgot today, I put the lace on today, look how pretty my reconstructed or Foob is". I'm meeting my daughter for a big shopping day.  I'll put the lace scar garb on so that if we wind up seeing each other in a dressing room or at the hotel (she's in college 2 hrs. away) then she or a dressing room monitor would only see a lacey Foob.

Bern, at the fabric store they had those temporary tattoos in butterflies, flowers, and henna designs.  I bought a few.  I mean seriously, they are a $1.50 for a booklet of about 10 to choose from.  I can't adorn "Her Royal Foobness" with them just yet- too close to post reconstruction.  However, they go on with water, wear off after a few days, and wipe off with rubbing alcohol immediately.  I will definitely use those to replace my nipple that I voted off the island to see if I like the idea of a permanent nipple someday ala Vinny (whatever his last name is) on BCO that does 3D nipples.     

I'll bet DH will laugh if I surprise him with the mini pom-pom trim version.  Whaddya mean I don't have a nipple?  Now, I've got 5 or 6 little balls taped like stringed Christmas tree lights in full pageantry. Do the math! I'm sorry, I can't help myself.  

Diximine, be sure and ask your PS after extraction, what the heck was going in your foob with the magnetic valve.  

"Dixiemine might be a breast cancer patient if her PS performs the first breech change out of a TE". 

Hugs to all,

Deborah

farmerlucy

Hi all - Still struggling with the acute anxiety and depression. It has been a month now, but I can see the light. I am on Wellbutrin and Xanax, trying now to wean off the Xanax. This has been the toughest thing I ever had to face. Our church has a Stephen Ministry program and my Stephen Minister is an angel and a God send. I don't have my exchange until late July. I may try the tamox again after than if I am stable.

I bought some temp nipple tattoos online, and they look pretty good. My DH is really proud of my new boobs (TEs and all) since he was the one who talked me into recon. I'm still not sold on it since the pecs severely limit what I can do, and that is discouraging, but everyone says it gets better.

My SM gave me a book by Joyce Meyer, called "Battlefield of the Mind". It is a little far right religiously for me, but she has some great points and I have found it quite useful. Also journaling has been very helpful.

Keep on keeping on.

Jill

 PS - I am going to see Vinnie in Baltimore for the 3-D tattoos. Furthermore I am writing the trip off as a medical expense!!!

farmerlucy

Ladies - You all seem to be moving forward so well. Any tips for me? How do you deal with the uncertainty?

Dixiemine30

Deborah -- You crack me up!!  Yes, I'm curious if he figures something out about my flip flopper :-)

I'm getting real nervous about the exchange tomorrow afternoon.  I was in a car accident on Tuesday and took a pretty good thump on my head.  PS doesn't seem concerned about it and gave the green flag to proceed with surgery.

UGH...someone pulling in the drive.  Later FFF....love ya!!!

Galsal

Drum roll, please.....the tentative date is July 9th for reconstruction!

Deborah2012

Galsal- And a tambourine shake or two as well.  I've made a note of it.  Congratulations on your booking.

Dixiemine- Hoping you are recovering from your recon surgery yesterday.

Farmerlucydaisy- I wish it was all better.  Here's hoping things improve for you.  Glad to hear you are not burying your head in the sand, recognizing that you need assistance and are exploring various support nets.

How's the fog report Bern25? 

I am back at work.  Glad to be out of the house.   I have a few loose end health items to take care of i.e. finally could go to breast cancer postponed dental appt. etc.

Hugs to all!

barbiecorn

FarmerLucy - one day at a time is the only way to deal with the uncertainty.  We all have it and it is scary...Hope you are doing better!!  ((hugs)))

Nel138281

Farmerlucy, For me some days are better than others.  Some days a major funk others fairly upbeat.  Are you getting some counseling as well.  I find that I need that along with meds.  Hugely helpful to "dump" someplace other than with friends all the time.

I am moving out of my chemo fog today.  Rads "mapping" on the 30th.  So on to the next adventure

Deborah2012 - Work has been my sanity.  Glad you are feeling well enough to be back at work and hope it goes smoothly

Gentle Day to all

Nel

Bern25

Hi to all the FFF's

Things have been getting better all around and I will be starting some group counseling when the "Newbie" sessions start. The fog has lifted and I even found myself singing in the car (Ballroom Blitz came on, couldn't help myself). I just watched the movie "Forks over Knives", a must see. You can google it online to find out more about it. I have always ate fairly well, but after watching this movie I can/will do better. My boss is very proactive about my nutrition and she bought me the movie. What an eye opener. I know there is still a road ahead but for the first time I can see the positive that lies ahead too.

Deborah2012...how are the meds doing? Glad you are back to work. I haven't stopped to look at the tatoos yet but now that I am feeling better maybe I will venture out to other places besides just work.

Farmerlucydaisy....hang in there...I was a mess last week and now I am slowly doing better. I also started doing yoga in the morning. I am not sure if you are already doing it but, "Rodney Yee" Yoga for beginners is a great start. I am going to get his dvd that has different moves for the week, also. Yoga even helps with the stiffness when I get up in the AM.

Dixiemine...how does the exchange feel??

Best to all. Glad to come home and read everyone's post!

Hope everyone feels better today then yesterday!!!