Starting Chemo April 2009
Comments
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LADIES!!!! After all we have been through, the colonoscopy is NOTHING. Repeat: NOTHING.
You drink some stuff. You poop a bunch of times. You go to sleep. You wake up and drive to the place. They start an IV. You go into the procedure room and lie on the table. They put a drug in the IV. You are out completely. You wake up in a recovery area and feel great (b/c of the type of anesthesia they use). You lie there a few minutes. You get dressed and go home. You eat something. DONE!
Compared to all the awful stuff we have had done to us. I am telling you this really is NOTHING. It is not worth the time/energy of worrying about it. Make the phone call, make the appointment, go get it done. The worrying is worse than the actual procedure. Judy - post when yours is done and tell me I was right!
Geri - your situation sounds like it was very stressful and I am sorry. But again, the stress of anticipation was probably the worst part. Now she is gone and you can move forward. But again, I am sure it took a toll on you. I hope the weekend helped. it is supposed to be very rainy the next few days. Have a warm cup of soup or tea (or both) and stay cozy. Spring will come back later in the week!
Betsy - how are you doing?
Love to all -
Amy -
Geri, so sorry that you had a difficult experience at work. I am sure you handled it all in the best possible way. Sometimes, the anticipation and the worry that it causes you outside of work can be worse. I hope that you managed to rest over the weekend and are feeling better today. You can always come here and tell us anything : - )
I know the colonoscopy will be fine and will come by and let you know how it went, when I get back. I suppose my biggest fear is that they will find something, but hopefully it will all be clear.
Work is good, but very busy. I may be changing departments in a couple of weeks, I met with the boss this morning and he would like me to do something different which could lead to more responsibility. I like where I am, but don't mind trying my hand at something else. So much for keeping the job low key LOL!
Ok, must run, sending you all hugs.
Betsy, hope you are ok.
Judy x
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Judy - sounds like your boss recognizes talent! Just didn't think it would happen so fast. Good for you!!
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Hi all...I'm feeling better this week. My brother and his wife came to visit over the weekend and we had a wonderful time. My leg swelling has gone down a bit more, so yesterday (our first 80+ day) I went compression free for a few hours. Boy!!! did that feel great. My chest and arm are still swollen but things are slowing improving on that front too.
My dh & I have been trying to walk nightly. Plus we walked a lot over the weekend. I've even come to terms with no alcohol. I have minimized diary products since they cause constipation. I'm still working on healing the anal fissure that happened during chemo.
Helen-I'd love you to PM whatever recipes you'd like to share. Congrats on the weight loss. Your yoga class sounds good.
Amy, a women I work with gave me a coupon for 3 trainer sessions. I think we take her up on the gift. We are still planning our trip this fall although I have until July to back out. We will probably wait until then to make our final decision. My problem is I know my leg will swell flying for 9-13 hours. So how do I cope with it. I'm going to ask my GP if they will give me one dose of lasiks (sp?), so I can quickly get rid of the extra fluid. Odds are they won't do it, but I figured I'd ask. I will only use it if I have to...because frankly I don't want to spend all my first day or so in the WC.
Thank you all for your support it means a lot to me. I don't feel as angry these days, mostly because I'm feeling better. Plus we finally got some beautiful weather. My garden is gorgeous right now. I love this time of year.
Judy, it sounds like you fit in to your new job and like it which is truly wonderful!
Geri, personnel problems are the worst...I feel for you and hope you had a restful weekend.
Hugs to all.
Betsy
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Amy and Betsy and all of you, thank you again for your support with my new job. It does feel nice to be appreciated, although I am still struggling with the juggle of home and work. I will get there eventually I hope.
Betsy, good to hear from you and that you had a good weekend with your brother and his wife. I hope your swelling continues to improve slowly. I really hope that you manage to take your trip in the fall and that the docs can do whatever they can to help make it easier and more comfy for you to fly. You seem to have so much to deal with. Sending you (((hugs))). Enjoy the weather and your garden.
Geri, hope the weekend was restful.
I will come by again soon, sending hugs to one and all, Judy x
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Thank you all for the understanding and support last week. It is stressful when you know a termination will cause great difficulties for the person you have to let go. I have spent all week in that office, and I know I made the right decision...in reviewing papers and computer activity, she had actually been spending hours of work time either on personal sites or job searching sites. I guess she realized I wasn't too happy with her performance. I don't wish anything ill for her, but this was not the position she was suited for.
It is difficult wearing "another hat" and taking on these responsibilities, but I have no choice but to do it. I have learned, as we have all talked over these past three years, that I can't eliminate all the stress, but I need to be aware of what it can do to my body, and limit it as much as I can.
Judy - wow, that didn't take your boss long to see that you were very valuable (but then again, we all know that!). Titan - just PM me and we'll get your application going - oh yeah, you need to be an RN for this job, so that could be a problem, yes?
Betsy - I feel for you with having to deal with the edema when you are trying to plan anything. When I read your posts, and how you are moving forward in spite of the struggles, I admire you so.
Amy - you are right about the colonoscopy...HEAR US, ALL YOU PROCRASTINATORS....JUST MAKE THAT CALL - - - NOW!
Helen - thanks for understanding the difficulty of letting someone go. None of us enjoy that part.
I have been thinking of Lena this week.
Geri
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Geri, thanks for coming by, it sounds like you made the right decision at work, even though that can sometimes be difficult. It sounds like you handled it really well.
I have been a bit under the weather this week, but I think it was just the stress and exhaustion. Looking forward to a quiet weekend now. We had a lovely evening out with old friends last night, lots of laughing which is always good!
Hope everyone is doing ok and wishing you all a great weekend, hugs to you all, Judy x
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Hi everyone. I'm happy to announce that my new grandson was born today. He is adorable and perfect (of course). Mother and father are also doing well. He's being named in honour of my DIL's mother who died only 2 years ago of breast cancer.
Judy, hope you are feeling better. Even though you are working full time, you must look after yourself.
Betsy, how are you feeling
Titan, go get the colonoscopy - Amy is right. It's not so bad.
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Welll..Grandma! congrats on the new baby..I'm so excited for you....I love holding new babies..they are so precious,
Ok.ok..on the colonoscopy....I have a mammo in 2 weeks plus the onc and the bs appt..I will discuss it then...dang it...I DONT WANT TO DO THIS! what if they find something..I just cant deal with this again..I just cant.
Hi Betsy...I miss you...how are the Ducks going to be this fall? OSU is going to be pretty good I think but we are banned from any bowl games...It ticks me off because our new coach and the kids on the team NOW had nothing to do with the Tattoo scandal but they have to pay the price..oh well..just whining here...
so..I have to be an RN? I feel like I know alot of medical stuff since about 3 years ago...guess 3 years of BC experience doesn't cut it does it?
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Congratulations Helen!!! Such lovely news! So pleased to hear that everyone is doing well. Enjoy every minute, and please come by and tell us the name when he is named. You have really made my day
!So, today I have started the pre Colonoscopy eating requirements, it will all be over on Tuesday morning thankfully. Titan, I completely understand you, I am very nervous that they will find something, I am just hoping that they won't. I am feeling better now, I needed the weekend to catch up with myself.
Hope you are all having a good weekend. Sending you all hugs and a special one for Helen's new grandson!
Judy x
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Helen congrats on that new precious gb! What exciting news.
I had a melt down at PT on Thursday. I haven't even told my dh. My therapist was saying just think of how much you have lived through over the past three years. She was saying don't cancel my my trip, go for it! I just burst into tears. She said what wrong? I said it's easy for you to say but dealing with ankle pain and elbow pain constantly is easier said than done. It wears me down. She still said...GO...enjoy life, live life. If your leg swells, we can deal with it. She is going to show me how to wrap it to assist with the swelling.
I am feeling very emotional these days. Maybe because of the hysto? maybe tamox? maybe depression? maybe just cause I'm fighting vertigo on top of everything else? I told her I'm in over load and I need a break. She agreed. She said I was doing everything right but my body is not responding quick enough for me. Again, I need to learn to be more patient. So I cancelled my next appt. with her. I am taking most of May off from Dr. visits. I also told her I was placing a moratorium on Dr. appts. during my sabbatical. I am de-stressing on multiple fronts.
On a positive front, weight watchers has been helping. I've dropped 5 pounds. Still have ten to go but I'm feeling better. My PT also said the best thing I could to for my LE is lose weight. I'm not celebrating yet, when I hit the 10 lb mark, I know I will feel better.
Time for cores. Hugs to all and thanks for all your support as of late.
Titan- I haven't had chance to hear out this years UO team. I think they should be pretty good as two years ago they lost a lot of the veteran players. So the team is still fairly young. Glad to hear OSU is going to be good. How much longer until you can play in Bowl games?
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Betsy, I totally understand. For people who haven't been through it with the endless medical appointments, they don't totally get it even though they try. A sabbatical from all of it sounds like a good idea. Congrats on the 5 pound loss. You are a third of the way towards your goal.
Judy, how are you doing? I think the prep for the procedure is the difficult part.
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Judy is probably pretty busy right now..lol... When..now if I have this colonoscopy stuff..my husband is doing it with me...no way I'm doing this alone....good thing we have 2 bathrooms..
Judy...you will be fine...I sorry to be such a freaking chicken..you can do it..and I will too
Betsy...remember when I used to tease you about being textbook for Se's? seriously..I didn't mean for you to continue with this crap...I'm sorry I teased you....poor little Duck...oh and OSU is only out for a bowl game this year...we still had a great recruiting class..but a new coach also..Urban Meyer...everyone is pretty well pumped to have him...he really involves the students...which I love...sometimes I think OSU is out for the $$$$ rather than catering to the students....
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Betsy, sorry that you are still having such a difficult time. That said, it sounds like you are fully aware of what is going on with you and you are taking steps to reduce your stress levels. Taking a step back from so many appointments is a good first move. As Helen said, however much people want to help and give advice, unless you live with the constant appts and reminders of the BC, it is very hard to understand what the person is going through. But we DO understand, so come by as often as you need to, we are always here for eachother. Well done on the weight loss, that is a big step forward.
You should all know, that you are "virtually" accompanying me on my colonoscopy adventure! Of course you don't have to join me for all of it LOL! I am working today and right now am sitting at my desk eating jello! I am so hungry, I have not eaten properely today at all. Since my BC, when I had so many food and digestion issues, I always hate not being able to eat what I want when I want it. I am most nervous about the final leg of the prep this evening at home, but I am sure it will be fine. I am really sorry to go on so much about this. Especially as some of you have far greater things to deal with.
I am keeping Amy's posting in my mind, trying not to make too big a deal of the whole thing. I will let you know tomorrow when I am back home and it is all over.
Helen, how is the baby doing?
Back to work for me now, sending you all hugs and thank you as always for being so great!
Judy x
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Judy - you'll be on the other side of this in no time. GOOD for you for doing it, even though you didn't want to.
Helen - so thrilled for you about the new baby. Springtime, a new baby, new beginnings. Wonderful, life affirming happiness. Love to you and your family!
Betsy - I am so proud of you for attacking the weight issue and having some success. It is SO frustrating when our bodies don't 'obey' us and do what they want. I can only hope that sharing the burden with us here makes it a tiny bit lighter for you to carry. AND - re the trip - I know it is a lot of pressure to make the decision now for something months away. The only advice I have is to think about - would I rather go, even if I am not 100% and enjoy seeing/doing things with some limitations, or would I rather just wait until another time (and take the risk of whether that will even get to happen). For me, unless I felt debilitated by pain and limitations, i would rather go. You will be so stimulated by seeing/doing new things, the physical limitations will only be a very small part of the overall experience. But that, ultimately, is something only you can decide. Whatever you decide we will support you. But if you DO go, we will DEFINITELY cheer you on (and want to see pictures).
I started the metformin last week. I definitely can tell my blood sugar is more stable and under control. I don't feel as hungry and carb/sweet cravings are MUCH less. However...I have had some episodes of EXTREME fatigue - more than even through chemo/rads. We went to get a pizza on Sat night, and in the car and at the restaurant, I felt like my face was like those melting clocks in a Dali painting - and it was too much effort to even smile or speak. Now THAT is tired!
I read online that this IS a known SE. It also said that sometimes metformin can cause a vitamin B deficiency and to take some. We had some in the house so I added that to the BIG pile of supplements I take every day. We'll see if it helps.I'll keep you updated how it goes and if I do take some weight off as a result.
Love to all
Amy
PS - Judy check in when you are all done please.
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Hi all, I did it!!! I have just got home, we had to wait ages there, but it is over. I feel a bit queasy and am going to take a bath and have a rest, but it was ok in the end, and it was all clear, which is a huge relief of course.
The worst part was definitely the preparation, the test itself was fine - thank you all so much for your support leading up to this.
I will come by again soon, hugs to you all, Judy xxx
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Judy - SO GLAD - that you did it, that it is over, that it showed nothing (which is what I fully expected). This made my day. GREAT JOB!!! Thanks for letting us know.
Amy
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Great news, Judy. So glad that it's over and you got the all clear. Now have a good rest and move on.
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Thank you both, I am certainly relieved. I have taken the day off work today and am just resting and taking it easy.
Sending hugs to you all, Judy x
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Good news Judy! Enjoy your day off!
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Thanks Titan! Hope everyone is doing ok, wishing you all a great weekend!
Hugs to you all, Judy x
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Hi all, hope you are all having a good weekend!
I am feeling fine now, my digestive system is still not completely back to normal, but I am used to that, so I am not worrying about it. We had a good weekend, saw lots of friends and back to work today. It is hard to work on a Sunday : - (
Hope everyone is busy having fun! Helen, how is the baby doing? Is he named yet? Betsy, how are you?
Sending you ALL hugs! Judy x
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Hi everyone. Just got home from the baby's bris (ritual circumcision) - all went well and the baby was also named. My DIL is not feeling well. Has a UTI infection and also some heavy bleeding. She has a lot on her plate with a baby and 2 other little ones. I am helping as much as she will allow. Baby is adorable - a cute little guy who sleeps well so far. Our next baby is due in August - will be a girl. Can't have too many babies.
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Helen, congratulations! Hope you share many more happy times with your family around you. I am sorry that your DIL does not feel well and hope that she gets back on her feet soon. She is lucky to have you around to help her.
All good with me at the moment, next Onc check up in June so I have a bit of a break. I do need to make an appt with the plastic surgeon though. I will try and space it out if I can.
Has been quite quiet here the last few days, hope everyone is doing ok. I have been thinking about Lena recently.
Sending everyone hugs for a great day, Judy x
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Hi everyone -Helen...congrats on the baby's Bris -what is his name?
Good for you, Judy...colonoscopy over with and "all clear" - Titan, you're next, right?
Amy -how's the Metformin going for your weight? Sometimes I just feel like after all I went through, I "deserve" that dish of icecream (and I wonder why I can't get rid of those last 12 lbs!)
Betsy - how are you feeling? I'm hoping you have decided to do that trip.
I had a really nice weekend with my three brothers, my sister-in-laws, aunts, uncles and a ton of cousins for my aunt's 90th birthday party...hope the gene pool remembers me!!!
Hope everyone is well
Geri -
Geri, so nice to hear from you! I totally get what you are saying about the ice cream! Sometimes, if I haven't slept well, I just want a Cappucino and something sweet to start my day and I know that if I make a habit of that, it won't be good for me. But I do allow myself a treat sometimes, I definitely think we deserve that
. Really pleased you had a nice weekend with the family.Sending you all hugs, Judy x
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Hi all, hope everyone is ok, it has been quiet over the past couple of days.
Well, I am almost wrapping up my first full week at work (every week so far has had some sort of interruption) and suffice to say, I am rather tired. BUT, a good tired, a feeling of achievement, that goes beyond being at home and worrying about everyone and their needs all the time. I am finding the job interesting, but it requires very long periods of concentration which is not my strongest point these days. Still, I am trying to establish a pace that works for me now and hopefully, the more familiar I become with the work, the easier it will be. My boss is understanding and patient which is a big help.
I honestly believe that I couldn't have got this far without all of you supporting me.
Sending hugs to you all as always, Judy.
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Have a great weekend everyone!
Hugs, Judy x
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H everyone. Nothing special going on here - DIL didn't feel well for about 10 days following baby's birth but is now getting better. I'm still using "myfitnesspal" to log everything I eat and I think it is definitely working. Also still not eating wheat. Am surprised but I don't miss it. Lost another couple of pounds ....so far so good.
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Hi all,
It's a beautiful Saturday in the NW. The weather is perfect and my garden is in glorious bloom. I love the spring time. We took a walk today in Elk Cove Gardens, a beautiful garden over looking the Willamette River and has a stunning view of Mt. Hood. Afterward we walked in the neighborhood. I'm trying to prep for 4 hours of being on my feet. So far so good. We walked for about two hours, my foot is throbbing a bit, but not bad. I'm planning on going on the trip in Sept.
We are thinking of flying somewhere in the US in early August to test flying. Good excuse for a trip. My sabbatical starts then and my assistant said plan a trip, it will force you to leave town and truly start your sabbatical when you want too. I have a computer conversion that I'm managing and the final phase is scheduled for mid-July. I thought that was good advise. It will force me to leave.
Judy I'm so glad your test turned out well.
I'm feeling so much better. I just needed a break from going to the doctor 1 to 2 times a week for months on end. My PT called me at work this past week to check up on me. She asked if I went to the doctor for my vertigo? I said no. I told her I knew it was improving although when I saw her it was bad, mostly cause I moved my head too fast. I have one more week of NO DRS. I'm a happy camper. After that its a string of appointments.
Weight loss is still moving in the right direction, albeit, ever so slowly. I do feel better. On my scales I'm down 8 lbs. At weight watchers, its only 4 - but I weigh in after work and fully clothed.
Titan - no worries about the teasing...I love it, keep it coming. Right after I wrote one of our UO players that was a Junior was drafted to the pros. So who knows how the Ducks will be this year?
Amy your SE sounds horrible. I hope things are improving for you.
Hugs to all.
Betsy
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