how about drinking?
Comments
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A police motorcycle officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light. The driver is a real bar steward, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!
So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms.
The tirade goes on without the officer saying a dickybird.
When the officer finishes writing the ticket he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to The 'violator' for his signature. The bloke signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for.
The officer says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an arsehole!"
Two months later they're in court. The 'violator' has a bad driving record and he has a heap of demerits and is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him.
On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.
Under cross examination the defense attorney asks; "Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?"
Officer responds, "Yes, sir, that is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top."
Lawyer: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally make?"
"Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an "AH," underlined."
"What does the "AH" stand for, officer?"
"Aggressive and hostile, Sir."
"Aggressive and hostile?"
"Yes, Sir."
"Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for arsehole?"
"Well, sir, you know your client better than I do."~~~~ How often can one get an attorney to convict his own client~~~~
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good morning bernie -
Good morning, Loungettes! Just a quick pop in before heading out for the boring Tuesday morning meeting at work. Try to get in more later. Jocks!! A dwinkie for the road, puhleeze!!
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Morning loungettes. Stella, so funny, what happens in Begas stays in Begas, lol. You are right! I wanna go sometime, maybe we can go together?
Bernie, too funny, as usual :-)
NM, hope your meeting goes well. Remember when you drove all that way to find out it had been cancled? Ugh! Hope they have gotten better.
Hope everyone has a Happy Twosday! And Cindy (tiedye) hoping you check in soon, we are hoping all went well with your surgery, K!
Love you goils! MUAH! -
NM, I jumped in right after you and followed you to the bar. Can't let a friend drink alone, right?
Mema, lubing your post, with Stella and Eric, too funny. Does Eric know you are posting him and hooking him up with cartoon character????? If you drink the Hoochie Mama, don't let it burn too long, as it will burn off all the likker.
Stella, you rocked the RACE girl. You may be bad, but we luv you the moistest girl. And kudos to you for doing 2 races! I have a feeling that none of your secrets are sacred! I think its ok to hit on Mema's son, but NOT her SIL, behave your dern self girl.
NM, good luck today love, beat em up and knock em down at that meeting. I think we shall all be there with you, for support, so take a big purse. Did you get your tiller started?
Scuby, have fun girl, we miss you.
Kathy, sounds like you all are just having a glorius time. Sometimes I like to just drive around looking at places.
Karen, wishing all the best for your folks. Perhaps your DH can see things that you can't.
MUAH backatcha Hoochie Mama!!!!
Love the jokes Bernie, but have NEVER heard the term "dickeybird"
Ok, I found the video with Kitty and her FIL, good job you two. http://www.8newsnow.com/category/28259/8-news-now-video
And per request, from a proud mama, some pictures of her amazing and beautiful daughter.
Gotta run, no time to find a DOTD. Someone else can find one, or you can be on your own twoday!
CHEERS CHICAS
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Has the forum layout changed all of a sudden or is my computer going wonky????????
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It has changed. I don't like it!
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I don't like it either! Soooooo weird! Just popped in, thanks for posting Dork's DD's beeeeutiful pictures! Such an amazing recognition!!!! And that link too....I will have to open it when we return home, since just have itty bitty puter. Rainy here, but walked down to the inside heated pool right next to us, and omg not only have 2 whirlpools there, but a water play area for the kids (inside) which is so awesome I will try to take my camera next time! DH hit the wrong button, on the wall, trying to turn the bubbles on in the hot tubs, and whew....all this water stuff started falling and spouting up, in the kids area next to us. Cute! Our friend invited us all to dinner at his house tonight (with son and girlfriend), which is esp nice, since his wife is still out of state with their DD with the thyroid cancer.
Luy you all, tata for now!!!! Ciao Niao, but I am not a cow! LOL.
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Wow, this is different! Will take some getting used to fer sure.
Back in Mesq. No issues with the test. Will have results next week. Am sure all fine tho. Wanna stay on this Herceptin as long as possible...it's a life saver...literally.
Lori - yes, Eric knows, I got his permission, gave him a shortened version, showed him pics of Stella at the Race. Stella...he tinks you ROCK Goil! Thanks for posting that video of Kittycat and her FIL. They did do GOOD didn't they. I'm proud of her, jes wished it wasn't so hectic that day as I wud have liked to have spent more time with her. Another time I hope.
NM - whatever happened last Fri at the meeting? Did it take place? I was praying fer ya while driving into LV. I see you are finally going to get some face to face with that doc...keep us posted on that for sure.
Kittycat - How are you doing?
Kathy - We have one of those water thingys for the kids here too. My gk's love it...funny DH thinkin he turned on jacuz...were there kids on the pad when DH hit that button? And NO...you r not a cow...it was funny dats all...Muah!
DorKable - your DD sooo boootiful. O mese....getting all choked up again.
Scoob - no doubt your packin or are you traveling now for the Keys? I forgets. Anway, HAB FUN!
Stella - mese forgibs ewes for takin da killa, actually, Eric seen ya, but wasn't worried...tween da 2 of us, wese gotcha covered. Doze nice woids ewe say bout mese...n ewe mommyD...n Bax n Bella, dey miss ewe muchly too. Mese widdle boy ain't so widdle iz he? My baby gonna b 40 dis year...yikes...make me feels so oldly! Ewes b goot now sos mommyD let ewe come back in bisit...K?
Bernie and Juliet - LOL u goils cwack me up!
Alli - Would love to bisit you in Begas....Jes let me kno and I'll work it in. Only time this summer that I will be out of Nevada is July 5-10 and I doubt you'll pull anything together by then...I kno...I'm dreamin...no really...I do dream of all 7 of us habing a weekend at one a da hotels in Begas someday...oooppsss 8 of us, sorry I left Stella da Bella de Ball out...ewe most welcome too chica! Allison - I have da 15th on my calendar for your surgery...will be gettin da UFO ready to take da goils. Mese will be at onco's all day...so will not b widdle wif da other goils, jes sending you lots n lots of prayers and good thoughts.
Later Ladies!!
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dickey bird - small bird
Two little dicky birds sitting on a wall,
One named Peter, one named Paul.
Fly away Peter, fly away Paul,
Come back Peter, come back Paul! -
I must be weally, and I means weally dwunk. wat de fub up? de staff nebber asked us if we wanted a new layout in de lounge. How FN rude is dat?
Cheers!
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You tell them Dorkie!!! LOL. I hate this new layout too. Progress/change is NOT always better!
MEma, mese knowz youse wuz not callin me a cow....mese thot it wuz funnneeee too. That thing that got turned on is a HUGE water park-looking area for the kids. The water goes from 6" to 18", and has all sorts of things shooting up like fountains, coming down like umbrella waterfall, coming out of spouts on a tall thing that looks like a water tank, etc. Quite a shock when we had no idea all that would happen when he hit a big button on the wall. Its indoor, next to the heated pool and 2 whirlpools and exercize room. Right outside the door is an outdoor pool (not open yet...too cold here), and a huge water slide type thing that twists and turns, and is HIGH up. There is another indoor heated pool in this resort too.
Safe travels tomorrow Lisa!!!!
Had a nice dinner at a home with a guy we met on our Ireland tour. He and his wife were so sweet on the tour, and he was nice to get all this together while she is out of town. And good selection of beer (outdoor fridge full of just beer and wine), likker, etc. SO had a nice Pau Hana! BUT OMG we drove for 35 min thru backroads, in the rain, beautiful countryside, but so many turns that I had a long page of directions! Glad to have made it back here too.
Hugs to ALL, and hope we get used to this new format soonliest.
KaWaWa
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Stella tailed me dat she likes de new color. She tailed me she wood like fer me to paint her room dis color too. I tailed her no den she cwied. I cawack up at her when she cry cuz she makes punny noizes, sort of half snort and half honk... hehe!! Am I a bad poyson for doing dis to her?
kAtwinka, I wood be laffing at yese if I saw yese putting on dat fountain ting. You bad but I won't tail on you. Don't tail STella, she WILL tail for sure, she a narc! And a ho. And I not tawlking de Santa kinda ho eidder.
Chrissy, wese calling your name, ken you paleeze answair? I has a tall one for ya.
Oh, a widdle birdie at de stop light on me waye home from werk tailed me dat todey is a big partAY in de lounge. Yep, it is sumbody's boythdey. I ain't chitting ya now, it de twufe. Guess what loungette is toiyning 29 agaen???? I dare yese.
Cheers! And happy boythdey, _ _ _ _ _ !! Wishing ewe menny menny more happliest deys!!!
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Hey chicas! I don't like dis chit either, and agree with u Dot, why dey not aks our pinion?????
Mema, don't u worry bout gettin teenie tineliest for mese, K? Me knows where u heart is, an mese is wit youse eberytime u get dat herceptin, prayin an prayin an prayin it jus keep on workin, K? Thinkin of dat song "Rollin on the river" with proud Mary. Big wheels keep on turnin!!! Get it? Or is it jus mese? De blackberry homemade hooch helps, Fo Sho! Love u goil!
Sooooo glad u Habbing so much fun Kathy! And with peeps u met in Ireland! Did they have pics u hadn't seen? Just shows what an awesome Chica u are, to go on trips, meet people, and have them invite u to their home later. Hell, I met u here, and can't wait for u to come to our house in Kentucky! Jus say the word!
And dork, did I say how beautimous your DD is?? And her aunt Allie cat is soooo pwoud!! Pwease share dat wit her, K? And give her a big ol hug! Jus don't talk to her with my Ky accent, cause mixed wit yours, dat could be scary, hehehe, lol. What do you get when you cross a Jersey goil with a hillbilly?......................hell, I don't know, an mese don't wanna find out! Lol
Lub u goils! Who's dwinking? Lori was busy, so mese gonna say de homemade hooch is de DOTD! An Scuby, u been slacking on de BOTD, so we need u, K? Scuby doo, where is u?? -
Hey D! Is it Karens birthday???? Woo Hoo! It's a partay!! With homemade hooch, and her favorite Vino! An tonite she don't eben hab to aks if she can hab anudder gwass, we always says dwink de whole bottle!
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Dotty Ize here!!!! but I can't run too fass coz the knee wone let me! Don't drink mees drink for mees coz Ise needs it!!!
Had the followup appointment wid my spacialist yesterday and he be berry pweased wid mees pwogwess. He sed dat Ise walking like a weel poison and ise onwy needs to stretch it da knee to make it bend a bit more udder wize eberry ting bees good! Yahoo!!! I had me a gweat weekend goils! Wees had the town's annual Antiques Fair and mees SIL came to stay. Wees hab soooo much fun that wees do nuttin but laugh all de days! Was sooooo good but berry busy! Tank goodness it onwy harpens once a year!!!
Sipping on mees dwink here Dotty.....yummm....slurp..........mmmmmm
TITZ UP!!!! Love n hugs all. Chrissy
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Chrissy in de howse! Whoop whoop!! Slurp slurp, Yummy Vino!
Chrissy, I'll have another! -
Yay, Allie, you win de prise for guessing, cheers! De prise is more hoochie, i'll dwink to dat!
I am here for de partay for Karen and mese hear it is an allnightar! Yay!!
Habby Birthdey Karen! Lemme see if I have yer gift....
looking...looking....looking.... looking
Yay, I found wear I put it, here is a birthday clog from mese! Cheers, Karen!!
mese hope you don't hab two menny clogs. dis one is spayshall, jest for you! ♥ sending birthdey hugs, Karen!!!
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Happy birthday Karen!!!!! Yay!!! lets salebrate!!!!! Yummmmm......slurp.....burp!!! .............oops!.........slurp!
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Cwrissybee, mese bumped you, sawry! But yippeeee, yose here, I dwink to dat but mese cornfess dat i was soo closeliest to dwinking yer dwink. Den oOops, spilt it. Pants, gemma anudder and anudder again for mese fwend, Ceebee. Oh ohhhhh, oooh you so good to mese, my Pantsy Wansy. hehe, mese dwunklier dan ewe-shoe-all! and dat is beecuz mese sailabrating dat de spayshallist saze good tings about you knee. git it up, giddy up, trot trot trot. You go goil, go! I sailabwating yer k-new k-nee with yese. Cheers! Do yese wanna join me at de percotini fountain jest for fun?? But dont wun too fastly cuz you feel no pain todey with yer dwunkliestness!!
My mommy sed I shuld go to bed. She mean.
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Dork you gotta do what your mommy sez coz she is your mommy an ifn she says you gots to go to youse bed den youse got to go!!!
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Chrissy an Dotty, quit ya bitchin! Lol. Go to bed when u want. K? Lol
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Oh dorkie tanx for memebering wese dat todey is our very own Karens birthday! Mese habs ta use da tablet as DH habs mese netbook. Will someone puleez post a pic of a big, yummy cake for her? I cannot do dat on dis ting.
KAREN, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!! -
And if u take a tender with u, I won't tell!
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Katrinka, I ate dat cake, before de could take a pic :-(
But u is a sweetie -
See, I been starving meseself, so when I sees de cake.......
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Shoot how did I miss all those posts? Hi eberyone!
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It's the new style, HATE IT
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Oops alli ate da cake....shhhhhhhhh
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Yuuuummm, snort snort, ... Oopsie!! Was I posed to be quiet? Mese scarfing sum cake, Fo Sho! Tanks Karen!
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