March 2012 chemo
Comments
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Catching up on all the posts, snakes, dogs and all!!
Had a busy weekend, with DS having tennis tournament on Saturday, and his birthday party on Sunday. Kept my mind away from going to dark places, which was good.
Kltb - hope the dogs didn't have anything and your trip was up eventful. Love New Orleans, it's a great idea for vacation.
Michelle- good luck with your 4th, my 3 rd is this Wed.
Bald- hope you are feeling better
To all those done- yeahhhh, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
To those moving on to Taxol- hoping we are all in the category that finds Taxol a walk in the park compared to AC. -
Tellie- regarding your question on DIEP- I had DIEP on one side and Tram (they found I had a small hernia and couldnt do DIEP) on the other for reconstruction. It is definitely a much longer recovery. First week was HORRIBLE, but after that every day got better. My BS and PS had warned me that the first week would be bad so I wasn't surprised. I was able to do most things by 4 weeks and almost everything by 6 weeks. My BS recommended DIEP because she said the chances of implants failing was higher after 10 years and given my age (44) she thought this was a better choice (assuming I am going to beat this and be around that long- dark thoughts again). It definitely feels natural and looks very natural.
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MLB - I cracked up when I read that last night (pop one into his ass...our gangsta Canadian) I imagine you are sore from all your hard work!
Lost - too funny on the Dr. Doolittle - my kids would love goats! And bunnies! And that is exactly what my mouth feels like - burnt - and the taste is all off and weird. Cooling off here too to the 80s instead of 90s - had a front come through this morning but just caught a tiny bit of the rain. Have fun at the class - if nothing else, you get free stuff. I got a ton of skincare samples - stuff I would never purchase but it will be nice for travel.
Michelle - good luck at last A/C - they should let us ceremoniously put those damn adriamyacin syringes in a trash can (or hazmat can!) If I had to climb stairs to do laundry, we might never have clean clothes.
hopeful - yes you will beat this - be gone dark thoughts! My BS was pushing implants but like I said, I havent' even gotten to the point of going to a PS yet.
I feel bad for my fit yesterday...my DH does a lot, it just has to be on HIS terms and timing and if it is anything besides what he is accustomed to doing (he has gotten used to loading and unloading the dishwasher), I have to ask. It just bugged me that I had all these plans to sit and relax while everyone was home yesterday and I looked up and saw the messy living room with dust bunnies all over, shoes all in the entry way, then I realized the laundry needed to be done again!! He went out and mowed/weedeated the yard then came in and cleaned up and went to the store and got dinner so
I think I may be slightly in the wrong here, cancer or no. It was funny the other day we were arguing (just lightheartedly) about something and I as usual was insisting I was right; he said "you know, just because you have cancer doesn't mean you are right all the time about every subject" 
This morning I took the kids to school then went to the grocery store with a list for ingredients to cook dinner the next couple nights...I have had it with fast food/convenience foods and one thing DH doesn't really do is cook. Plus he doesn't get in til 6 or so and the kids are starved by then. I think I peeved the checker - they take the cart of the person before you and whip it around to the end of the checkstand to bag and load up with your stuff. I insisted on keeping my cart! I had already wiped down the handle with Clorox wipes and used it all through the store and I wasn't about to change to another cart. I told her why and she didn't really act like she gave a shit.
Anyway, still feeling super tired and slightly nauseous so I just had gingersnaps and oj for breakfast. Not really "omg I think I am going to throw up" nauseous just out of sorts. Have about 1 1/2 hrs before I leave and go pick up my mom and go for my labs...then a couple errands and it will be time to go pick up kids at school. She (my mom) insists on coming with me each week even when I am capable of driving...but it is nice because we can take her car - my van is a POS and doesn't get the gas mileage her car does.
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Kltb04- your comments about your husband made me laugh. My DH is doing so much with the kids and at home it makes me feel sad and also realize I am fortunate to have him. But interestingly I also realize how much I was doing, even with his help, before all this cancer stuff started. I hope you feel better soon. So sweet of your mom to come with you.
I was hoping to be able to go out and eat next Sunday. DH has booked brunch at one of my favorite restaurants for mother's day. My 3rd TX is this Wednesday. Seeing how everyone is feeling after the 3rd is making me nervous. Keeping fingers crossed. -
klt
I know that sounded bad but I was so mad! Even through TX I have done virtually everything around the house and yes he has been working on the basement but so what. I know at the end of the day its a money stress thing as things are tight. I'm self employed and I won't bore you with the details but I haven't really worked much in the last few months which I'm sure you can appreciate. Thing is when you're the breadwinner typically it's very noticable when the dough isn't coming in the same way.
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Lions and snakes and goats, Oh my!
ktlb04- I hate looking around my house and seeing all the crap that isn't getting done! On the days I feel bad I don't tend to care so much and on the days I feel good I don't want to spend the days doing housework. My family was really good in the beginning about keeping up but as it goes on they...well lets just say stuff isn't getting done unless I get my lazy ass up and do it. I am not sure anyone in this house actually understand how to run a washing machine.
MLB- Wow, if you do all that now, I can't imagine how much you did before.
Michelle- good luck today.
Hopeful- This is just a bump in the road, a flipping big as$ bump, but a bump none the less. I was at some high school mayday presentation Friday, my daughter is in 7th grade band and was playing with the high school band (the high school is only about 300 students), and I started thinking, what if I don't make it to see my daughter do all this high school stuff? I think sometimes with all the chemo, drugs, pressure, fatigue, etc. it is easier to end up in those dark places. But then I think of all the things in the world I do, or have done, that could have or should have killed me and I'm still here. I think of all the advances I have seen in the last 10-20 years and I feel better. I remember being excited by a vcr. Now I can stream tv and movies on my phone. I figure the odds are probably higher I will die in a car accident than from this (okay, maybe that a bit gloomy) in the next 10 years. Still, I feel you on the darkness, it's hard to avoid right now. Thank you on the info about the DIEP. I don't want implants because I HATE people cutting into me for any reason, dread hospitals, and would do just about anything to avoid both of those things, so if I have to do it I would rather just have to do it once. I just wish the recovery wasn't so long
.Well, I'm off to see the wizard today, or PS. Couldn't sleep last night. The thought of surgery scares the crap out of me. Even talking about it makes me a bit light headed.
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Hi everyone - well, about how things start off well and then go by the wayside - yep. I have plans to get someone over to clean windows and/or stuff like that before my mom and sister visit in July. I'm impressed with how much you are doing! I have had to close my eyes to some things or risk being stressed out about them all the time. It is what it is....
I am trying not to be nervous about getting my port on Thursday....
And not get too worked up about worse SEs after tx #2 on Friday - I feel like I pretty much coasted through tx#1 so will it come back to haunt me this time??? I know, don't borrow trouble. And by "coasted," I mean, no nausea (just queasiness the first couple of days), no big mouth issues - just a little bit of a sore throat and a couple of sores on my tongue that have healed up by now, and a few other things that were "liveable". I'm crossing my fingers that I don't end up with another 2-week period, though! And that I won't need Neulasta/Neupogen - will be interesting to see if I need either of those or not. Still hoping not...!
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MLB - I cannot imagine trying to work, take care of the house and yard, and go through all this - I am spoiled to not having to do much of anything. Ugh on the money stress.
hopeful - good luck Wednesday.....and here's hoping you will feel like eating this weekend. I don't guess we have any Mother's Day plans...I suppose I could drive across town and see my mom lol who I see every other day...
tellie - I feel the SAME way at school functions - at the band concert last Tuesday that is what was going through my mind - the high school was playing right after and I was like "will I be around when she is in high school" And I also get mad (irrationally) seeing all these other parents of kids my age and thinking "you people have no idea how good you've got it, no matter what else is going on in your life, that you aren't living with the shadow of this disease." ok, enough of that. Let us know how your PS visit goes.
Indigo - don't be nervous about your port, it's all good...more of a hassle than anything, lol...all the preop stuff to do a surgery that takes just a few minutes. Just be prepared for the soreness. Nothing compared to the stuff you have already have done but my BS severely downplayed the soreness factor. Yeah, if you can avoid the Nuelasta, it just makes life easier I think!
My counts weren't too bad today - white was 3.4 and hemoglobin was 9 something. My SIL (who's a med tech) said I was a "smidge" anemic. Anyone else with a port ever get fluttery feelings (heart) when they are drawing blood - I have only noticed it a couple of times, more when I am talking while they are drawing but I noticed it today.
Exhausted - it hit me in the car rider line at school and I am sooooo tired...still going to get in there and put together this simple dinner I bought ingredients for - basically a shrimp scampi that I am going to try and jazz up/add cream and put over linguine...
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Good evening ladies! Not feeling as good at this point as the first 2 treatments, so a bit bummed about that. I am "backed" up a bit which hasn't happened in the past, so I am sure that is making me feel out of sorts. Had a crazy busy day at work today, and all I wanted to do is go home and lay down! Finally home now, and just relaxing but still feeling off. Nothing I can't handle, just yucky!
Oh well, it could be worse so I will deal1
Hope everyone has a lovely Monday evening!
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Hi Marchers,
Well, went to MOs office today about my swollen forearm. To rule out a blood clot, they sent me over to the hospital to have an ultrasound of my entire arm. Results: no clot so it must be lymphedema. Now I can look forward to PT by someone trained in LE, which probably won't be anyone local...which means driving...which means more money for gas (and co-pays)...which stresses me...which leads to pity parties like this one!
Michelle, hope your last A/C was uneventful. When I had mine, I rang the little bell the nurse gives you during the infusion. Can't wait to ring the big bell after Taxol!
Hope everyone's SEs are minimal and good days outnumber the not-so-good ones!
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What a day heading to the hospital to get labs drawn and one of our truck tires explode. Not blow, like pieces flying in the air explode. So get guys to come out, pull my son out of school so he can come get me. Left poor brother with truck. But I made it and #4 is infusing as I speak. Doc said he will give me a 3 week break woot!!! Have to get my MRI and that's it. He says he can't even feel my mass anymore. So if this one kicks my butt I don't care. By noon tomorrow I'm officially done with this crap and it can kiss my ass goodbye!
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klt
Ah we'll get through the money thing! I'm already seeing clients as of 2 weeks ago. Saw one today too. I think once we unload the money pit of a house we're in the stress level will go down. Then we can see what the future brings or doesn't bring if you get my drift. Interesting to see how people behave in stressfull situations like this when its not about them eh?
The thing is even though chemo has been over for just over two weeks, fatigue is still an issue, a bit less so since I won't have to go through it again this Friday (only Herceptin). Apparantly it can be for a while. I realized too today that I must have protien at every meal. I had banana on toast this morning and ran around in the afternoon doing errands etc. I got in around 4 and was so tired. I then realized I had no protein at all. So I ate and had a coffee and got on the water.
baldeagle
Good thing the MO got you in right away at least AND he/she referred you to a PT. Alot don't even acknowlege LE quite honestly. Crappy its not going to be convenient and more out of pocket for you. On the upside it shouldn't get worse which I understand can be quite painful and chronic.
I didn't mean to sound like a martyr in my last posts, I like being busy around the house especially when you can feel satisfaction for your efforts. I also don't have kids which alot of you do and I don't know how you all do THAT on top of everything else with the DX.
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Kim -
on your bad day. Again, I cannot imagine trying to work through treatment. Lisa - sorry about the LE - although a blood clot would've sucked too... have you checked into the gas credit that I think the ACS offers? I had heard of that at one time but never checked into it...it occurred to me last week that I should also be keeping track of my mileage for next years taxes - those things will add up for itemizing deductions.
Michelle - yay that your dr can't even feel the mass anymore...I guess I will ask next time if MO thinks mine is getting smaller. I just have this fear that it isn't but I guess if she didn't think
A/C was working she wouldn't keep giving it to me. And wowzers about the truck tire.MLB - I have to start eating better to combat the fatigue as well...I am trying on little things like eating a yogurt instead of just waiting to eat...and you don't sound like a martyr! I am just impressed that you are doing so much (even if you pay for it in soreness later!!)
Omgosh y'all my dinner was delicious if I do say so myself! Fattening as hell, (the shrimp scampi was in a butter sauce) but it was oh so good. And I have found the spice I have been missing all my life - smoked paprika - I didn't realize this was the flavor that I tasted when I would get Penne Rustica at Romano's Macaroni Grill. Yum yum....
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klt
Your dinner sounds amazing! Calories be damned at least once in a while and hey, you have to eat and find it tasty right? Love smoked paprika too!
I jerked up a small pork roast and have it cooking now for tomorrows dinner. Smells so spicey and mouth watering right now! I'm sure I'll have a few bites of it tonight though LOL!
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you guys are making me hungry!
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Oh yum - I just cut out a pork roast recipe and put in my "to try" binder - maybe later this week. Tomorrow is Cuban Black Beans and Rice w/Jalapeno Corn Muffins!
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You guys are making me want to eat! And I already ate! My DS took me out to eat after my tx. Had boneless spicy asian wings. Yum! Would of loved to chug a beer with it. Probably not a good idea with chemo pump going lol!
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This is like a virtual potluck - major yum factor! I love all kinds of ethnic foods - Italian, Mexican, Asian (including Vietnamese), Indian.... Never had Brazilian; after watching Bridesmaids I'm not sure I will, lol.
I actually had a gardenburger patty melt (no, I didn't make it); first time I've had a patty melt in recent memory. It was really good too! -
Thought I would check this thread before heading off to sleep. Now you guys have made me hungry. Off to get a snack. Maybe some ice cream
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Man i hope my taste comes back soon, ya'll are making me want to cook!
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Hi Ladies: sorry it's been so ling, I've been out of it... But I have been trying to keep up with you all anyway...
Trying to unwind, headin back to the chemo lounge tomorrow 8 am after a two week delay because of the surgery etc... Feeling pretty weird about it. Want to get on with it but verynervous about any over crazy random thing happening to this poor body.... Hope you all have a good night. -
KCB- glad to see you back, although I don't post very often I also try to keep up this (my favorite) group of special ladies. After being in this battle for the last couple of months, you start to feel you know each and everyone. Best wishes tomorrow!!!! I'm in the chair Wed for my 4 th AC. Dread going for it, but can't wait to get it over with. Hopefully it's not as bad as #3. All SE's lasted a lot longer. Those dam bad days are starting to last longer than the good.
To all those doing the cooking - wow I'm impressed!! My taste buds are so off that nothing really tastes all that great to be. The funny thing is that I have not lost any weight at all. The one benefit that I'd thought I would get from this journey!!!! Guess I'm just not eating the right things. My ONC is very strict and does not want me eating any type of salad at all. Most fruits re out also.
Hope everyone has a great day and I smile for all of you that are at the end of chemo!!!!!!!! -
KCB
I'm glad you posted as well. I'm sure you do feel weird about todays TX but one more down. When you feel up to it, please give us an update on how you're doing.
Januaryice
I thought a bit of weight loss would for sure be a SE from TX. I was so surprised in speaking with my MO and nurse that sadly no, and to actually try to watch the caloric intake. I didn't gain so gratefull for that. I figured things balanced themself out by not eating much the 1st week after TX, then making up for it the next couple. I found comfort in carby food, chocolate and icecream too so I'm lucky because I'm not a skinny girl, far from it. Could stand to lose 25 pounds easily.
I think a saving grace really is cooking at home, at least I can control what's in the food like oil and salt. I'm now trying to lose the white stuff where possible and make sure I get some protein each meal. A few years ago I was eating out like crazy due to my schedule and had a couple of sessions with a personal trainer. Just switching out bad carbs for good, doing resistance training and upping my cardio made a big change in my body composition and about a 15 pound difference in my weight. I cleaned out my closet about a month ago and found a few bits of clothing from that time. OMG LOL! But I hung on to them for comparison sake.
So last night instead of making my awesome and not really high fat fried rice, I made brown rice and just seasoned that. Instead of potatoes, it will be yams, that kind of thing. If I made the effort I wouldn't have to buy any pants at all LOL!!
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Well now I'm hungry. Where were all these ideas when I was wondering the grocery store trying to find something?
Very strange thing happened yesterday. I was unloading my cart at wally world and an older gentleman behind me asked "may I give you a hug?" I was like um ok. It almost made me cry. It was sweet but weird at the same time. He had on a ball cap, no hair, but with guys it's hard to know why they have no hair. Anyway...
Want to my LGFB class. Very short there were 3 of us. I didn't know I could take my wig and have the girl shape it for me. She gave me directions to her shop and told me to bring it by and she'd fix it there. I'm not sure it's worth the drive though since I don't wear it. It itches and it hot.
Now it appears they want to add chickens to the mix here. Like I need a rooster to wake me up LOL
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Had 4th AC yesterday and so far so good. Think I'm still riding high on steroid infusion. Day 3 is usually when I get knocked out. Just very excited to have it over with.
January-I found this organic salad mix that has been washed and rinsed 3 times. I have had 0 problems with it. Thoroughly enjoyed a chef salad last night. And my DS washed and scrubbed the outside of a watermelon before he cut it. So we munched on that last night also.
Hope everyone has a great day with little SE's. -
Michelle - I like the idea of that salad mix...
Lost - aww, that's sweet...and I am hating on my wig the hotter it gets...sent back the halo. My last try to buy hair is this...
it velcros in any hat and I am hoping I like it...gonna get the light auburn since my wig is dark blonde/light brown and I want something redder. Site is hatandhair.com. Lots of folks around here have chickens, even though our neighborhood is technically not zoned for livestock - lol - it is a trendy thing to do these days I think. Oh, I have another creature to add to our list - tarantulas! They are awful this year - we have seen three the last couple days.
KCB - best of luck today - here's hoping for minimal SEs this go round...(humming "back in the saddle again")
January - I was so excited when I lost that 10 lbs after my first TX - I thought if I do this each time, I'll be skinny as a rail by the time I am done. And then I gained it all back...well 8 of it really. I am still consistantly about 2 lbs down from my original starting point - which was a BIG old number I am not gonna share!
MLB - totally agree that small changes are the best way to go...for example, I had oatmeal this morning instead of just cereal. Ok, it was instant oatmeal. And I made it with milk. Really thick milk. Ok, I used half cream.
But I get points for fiber right??? 7 grams. I would be feeling pretty good today if it weren't for my weird side/rib non pain/weird feeling issue. Going to try and take ibuprofen regularly over the next few days to see if that helps...it comes and goes so when it goes, I forget to take the ibu and with an NSAID you have to do it regularly for best effect.
My mission today - if I choose to accept it - is to clean youngest DD's room. We harp on her constantly to clean it but she has so much stuff (she inherits everything from the older one plus all her own) and such a tiny room that it has to be put back exactly in a preassigned spot or it gets out of control....and then it gets to the point that it is at now and I just have to go in and reorganize everything because she doesnt't know where to start. My older one is home today - playing hooky...it was field day and she didn't want to go so I let her stay home - so she may make a few bucks helping me
If she ever gets out of bed that is. -
BTW, the reason oatmeal fills you up is that it takes FOREVER to eat it - I have been eating this little bowl for half an hour - it's like is freaking multiplying....
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Kilt-I had to look into the salad because right now any kind of meat turns my stomache. I miss my steak!
My funny from yesterda. My DS took me to Safeway to grab some things after my tx. Then we stopped at a gas station to get us a fountain drink where I didn't get out. He walked away then came back and put the windows down more. Looked me in the eye and said "I don't want to get in trouble for leaving a elderly cancer patient in the car with the windows up!". -
I just literally laughed out loud at that one!!
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Oh I did to! After I smacked him and reminded him I'm 44! He was on a roll yesterday.
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