Unexpected silver linings and breast cancer

I never knew how much my DH truelly loves me. He has been my pain in ass for 24 years. But in this last year he has really been there for me. He cant do housework etc, but i have cried into his shoulder more times than i can count now, and he can allways make me feel better.

  Before BC I worked a full time job, flipping night to day shifts weekly, doing 12 hour shifts.  When I was going through radiation therapy I continued to work but was able to rearrange my schedule so I was working four 8 hour days, no night shifts.  When I got to the end of my radiation, I felt better than I had in years.  I asked the Rad Onc if there was anything else she could radiate cause my schedule was so good and I felt so good.  She said, "Honey, you need to re think your lifestyle!"  And I did.  It took some real finangling, but I cut back my hours and do not work nights anymore. I find I don't miss the extra money and I am happier and feel better for it.

Also- Often people do not have an opportunity to let you know that they care about you.  When I was going through treatment, many people at work, good friends as well as casual aquaintances and family members came through with words, cards, actions and support in surprising ways.   I realized that alot of people really do care about me.  That's a good feeling and good to know about yourself ( that you are loved)  and about your peeps.

I love that I get to celebrate every day as if it were my birthday! A new awakening is my special blessing. These new boobs are great looking, painful, but pretty in clothing.

I can totally relate! 32 years with my guy and he drove me crazy for most of that time. Frankly...was not a good husband or father for that matter. But when diagnosed, he cried for me, held me and has been my rock through the last 3 months.A nice silver lining indeed.

For about a decade before I was diagnosed with cancer, I had very bad episodes of bipolar disorder...mostly lows, I was in and out of the hospital for suicide attempts and in more psych wards than I care to remember. Things got so bad I had to quit my job as a lawyer, something i had worked so hard to achieve, and I just didn't see the good in life anymore. I felt like bipolar was a death sentence. That if my mind wasn't functioning perfctly, life wasnt worth living.

After being diagnosed with stage Iv breast cancer, and going through chemo, surgery, and radiation, I find that having bipolar isn't such a burden anymore. I am not sure how to explain it, it isn't like the bipolar has gone away, of course, but things never seem as bleak as they used to. I guess it took my life permanently hanging in the balance for me to understand how strong I am, and how worth living life really is.

I got a trio of silver linings: a new bc sister who I adore, she is such a good person, a handpicked cancer team who are great in their respective fields, an appreciation for family and I got a fourth: I stand up for myself now in the important areas, a lot of areas got downgraded to "not important".

Another positive I would add:

--Cancer gives you courage. We all grow up thinking cancer is "the worst thing that can happen to you" - Well, it did, and I am still here. So if it happens again it won't be quite so scary.

Adding this thread to favorites....keep 'em coming!

What a fabulous thread!

As a person who had come to believe that we can choose to allow adverse experiences to transform us, being diagnosed with BC early this year forced me to walk my talk.  I'm proud to say I have. Some of the most profound things:

1. I became consistent with my spiritual praxis. I have always been called to things like Reiki and meditation but never pursued them. Now I pratice both and other things regularly and just as I'm going through the challenge of my life, I've never felt better about myself and my future.

 2. Since I was a young girl, I've had a very challenging relationship with my mother. (Ironically, she herself is a breast cancer survivor.) Honestly, I often felt that she cared for me out of obligation than love. Seeing how she has responded to my diagnosis and treatment has brought us much closer together, and I know the healing is just beginning. 

3. Like many here, I've learned to get in touch with my feelings and, more importantly, express them. I've cried so much -- more often over the unresolved emotional issues that BC brought to the surface than BC itself. This emotional clearing has been so good for a suppressor like me. 

4.  As an artist (primarily a writer) my BC journey has pushed me to literally put myself on the line. I'm proud of all the work I've done to date, and I do believe who I am is reflected in it. The things that I'm doing and contemplating as I fight BC are making me more fearless and transparent creatively and that in turn is making the work more resonant with its audience. I'm also expanding into other forms of expression e.g. like dancing burlesque. On that note...

5.  ... something that hasn't happened yet, but I will anticipate is actually having a better sex life! LOL!  I've always had a good body image and healthy libido, but for various reasons, I restrained myself from being fully and enjoying my body. I've learned a hard lesson in not taking it for granted, and all the emotional healing that I'm doing is priming me for the kind of intimate relationship that I've always wanted yet also feared. As I said on another board, after kicking cancer's ass, how can I be afraid of what some man thinks. And the right one gets the spanking new boobies! 

And, yes, I've learned that I am far stronger and more loved than I could imagine. This journey has been a great opportunity to deepen my relationship with great people and exorcising others who just can't give as good as they get. Oh... and that means I'm getting a lot of practice in having compassion, forgiving and letting go... things that used to be a greater challenge, especially starting with myself.

And the blessings are just beginning for all of us, I'm sure!  

This is a weird one, but when I was diagnosed, I started a blog.  That was 3 years ago.  I did it so that I wouldn't have to explain my treatment to every single person in my family over and over.  I wanted one place where they could go to read updates and not bug me.

And, the blog caught on and I have half a million pageviews now.  Blogging has helped me through this process, helped me discover that I like to write, helped me find the humor in many situations I may not have found humorous and has given me an online support system that is focused on just me and I have made some good friends that I never would have without it.  And, someday my kids or grandkids will have it to read and get to know me and what I went through and how I handled it before I died.  So, there is a small legacy there.

Without cancer, I wouldn't have blogged.  I would, of course, rather not have cancer.    But, it has been a silver lining due to the support and friendships I've received, and the fun I have writing it.

I discovered that I loved to cook and I like to bake! The intense concentration that I need to make sure all the measurements are right, that I put them in the oven for x amount of time, that I add ingredients at this time - it obliterates all thoughts in my head, including BC and it gives me a sense of calm and serenity, like I just meditated ))

Plus it helps that when I bring my food to get togethers - I get compliments galore. It makes me feel productive and happy that I am able to give some joy (in a gastronomical sense) to the people that I love.

Hate to be Debbie Downer, because there was nothing special about getting diagnosed with breast cancer. I had life saving emergency surgery, TWICE, before being diagnosed, so I needed THIS like I needed a hole in my head. Smelled the roses, appreciated and enjoyed EVERY SINGLE DAY before being diagnosed! Loved my family and friends ALWAYS. Didn't even bother telling more than a handful of people about MY cancer. Honestly, by the time I got diagnosed, I was sick and tired of getting sick and was sick of having to listen to well wishers. And since being diagnosed, I've had shoulder surgery and broke my foot.... No more courage or strength or sadness or any more or less happiness in my life before or since. Life was good before my diagnosis and honest to goodness, it's STILL the same.

I'm 71 years old, and believe it or not, bc was my first serious life threatening illness.  I think before my dx I tended to take my health for granted...that it would always be there, no matter what.  Not that I didn't take care of myself...I did.  Once I got the dx, it was a real wake up call that you cannot control what is going to happen to you, but you can control how you react to it.

I changed my diet and lifestyle habits to one of an anti cancer philosophy and I re evaluated the priorities in my life.  Being a part of this site has helped tremendously by meeting and sharing with others who have similar challenges. 

I've grown more cynical about some people, and less cynical about others.  If this question were posed from the outside community, I would suggest it is, like many other tactics, a way to make those without cancer feel safe should the bc beast come knocking.  Goodness knows, I got a lot of that along this journey.  There's my cynical side.

My less cynical side says that the question is coming from our new BC family here.  I agree, BC.org was most assuredly a silver lining!  Coming out alive after such a harrowing experience, another silver lining.

Taking stock of good things in our life and our personal empowerment are ways to keep our stress and anger down.  I love the reference to "metaphysical" parts of the country--I have a family member in one of those and I get mightily tired of the "positive thinking will cure anything" camp.  But I do think keeping our cortisol levels down and feeling happy can at least make our days better, and perhaps may help us stave off a recurrence under the right circumstances.

I spent the first six months during treatment scared to death that a couple of close friends were able to walk away from me.  Now, I'm much clearer about life in general. That is another silver lining!

Having my hair short saves me an hour and fifteen minutes a day which adds up to nineteen days in a year.

It made me realize that I should go through my pictures and get rid of the ones that my butt looked big.