Feel free to tell people to f$%% off

i have to chime in here... i finished chemo on 3/22 but have felt very fatigued in the last few weeks. when i get home from work (i'm an executive assistant at a financial firm) i seldom feel like chatting on the phone past 7pm. i just want to zone out & do nothing or maybe watch a little tv.

waiting for surgery part 2 (mastectomy with expander) on 5/15 & i feel extremely ANXIOUS. i was supposed to have a double mastectomy in Nov but lucky me went into cardiac arrest (i'm only 43 years old but have extremely low blood pressure) on the table and they could only remove my lymph nodes and one breast. ANYWAY, it took me a week to return one friends call and she really came down hard on me the other day. i was at work so i couldn't speak openly + i have such bad chemo brain i forgot to call her. she accused me of checking out on my friends... UGH!!!

So am I the only one who is thinking of ditching all of her friends?    It's too much work. Yes, a lot of them supported me emotionally through this time but my memory is shot now from chemo. I accept their invites to be somewhere and forget about it, or I feel like crap so I leave early or dont go at all. Then I can tell they feel disappointed in me for not fulfilling my obligation.  My friend called me the other day and asked how I was feeling so I told her, "My right lung hurts when I breath in and my hormones are out of whack and I've been bleeding now for a month"  (Im having lung surgery and a hysterectomy on May 22)   I got tired of telling everyone I'm ok all the time when it's held against me when I don't go to their events.  So, when I tell my friend this...she turned around as if to tell me everyone's got problems said, "Oh my knees been hurting for a couple of days and I'm up 8 pounds I'm so depressed"  

This is actually pretty funny, as I was VERY nice throughout the whole conversation.

A few weeks ago, I got a letter from my insurance company, informing me that I had a procedure on 12.5.11, and that they were concerned that it was due to an injury or an accident, and that there may be a third-party liability. I was supposed to call them immediately, which I did.

Chirpy Clerk: "Good morning! And whom do I have the pleasure of speaking with?" Check your records, Dummy, I keyed in my ID number like your stupid recording told me to.

Me: (I give them my name.)

Clerk: Well, hello, Mrs. X. We show that on 12.5.11 you had a procedure that involved your back, and we need to make sure that this was not due to an injury or an accident, and that there was no third-party liabilty.

Me: Well, let me see.....on 12.5.11 I was having a double mastectomy due to invasive breast cancer. And yes, my back was involved because that is generally what you lay on when they remove your breasts.

Clerk: (looooong pause) "Oh........Well.......I certainly didn't mean to upset you, Mrs.X."

Me: "Honey, the time for 'upset' is long gone."

Clerk: "Well, sometimes we don't get the correct information."

Me: "Obviously. But in the meantime, if you do find a third party liable for my condition, could you please let me know? It sure would feel good to sue someone for this."

Clerk: (Speaking very quickly now)........"Uh, again, I didn't mean to upset you, Mrs. X. Have a nice day!" CLICK.

Good one Blessings.....I'd like to know who to blame for my breast cancer too so I can sue them.  lol

I got a call as well from some sort of breast cancer place to help local breast cancer patients. I said, "Really???"   How can I get a hold of them to get some money?   She hung up on me!!!!!

Crazy Kitties - ... when you wrote.. Namaste, bitch - that's got to be the funniest thing I ever read. I burst out laughing. Needed that today.  Thank you.

Every time I think of it, I start laughing again.  

I'm with you.

Mind you, I havent shared this with many ppl.  but I have to say, I am appalled at the few who have practically quizzed me about why I dont " just get a mastectomy"  etc etc ... These are very personal issues, and I would never think to interrogate  a person in such  way.  I must say, I believe some of this is ignorance. ( I think maybe some ppl . have the idea of mastectomy and its done)  and perhaps I am, a bit sensitive right now, but I too feel like saying F%&**  off !!!

I lost people I thought were friends back in 1995 when I had a virus attack my spinal cord. Just 2 stayed around.

Now it's down to one,and she has bc too.

Oh well,I have all of you (I think).

Man when I came on to this topic I did not expect all of this !!!! I love it, it was what I needed , I thought I was only one who was like this, lol.... I feel much better now. And I noticed that I am getting impatient with dumb asses who think they know whats best for me, who have NO experience with BC, or any cancer at all. I feel like I am going to let loos on someone one day and it wont be pretty, I have a tendency to tell people how I feel no matter what, I have always been this way, but now its different. I feel like I have nothing to lose and I don't have time to deal with their pettiness!

Well to hell with everyone in my life. My husband and I got in a huge fight last night, I'm sick of fair weather friends and I am feeling so blah lately.

I deactivated my facebook account.  Life will be easier now.

crazykitties, OMG that poor PA couldn't have gotten out of there fast enough if she knew enough to value her life eh.  WOW 

letlet, thank you for what you do with your profession and your humanity even when as patients we get ridiculous.  sure we do.  none of us can remain sane and reasonable every second of this journey.  

I enjoyed reading all of these post, and laughed at some and cringed at others. We've all been through so much and we've all had really stupid or thoughtless things said to us, and I'm sure at some point, we've all said stupid things to people too. Somewhere there's a support group for women that are not pregnant and there's probably a complaint about the time I commented to a woman about her due date (I was SURE she was pregnant! I cringe every time I remember this)...

I guess my point is that as my grandmother used to say, "no one gets out of this world unscathed".

Kayth,

This post is to be able to vent. I think it is only our wish to be given the same consideration as well     The "vent" is because we dont feel it happening.

Well, the event went well.


I think venting was so very helpful for me last week. I felt soooo much better after it. Dr appt this week so I may be back to purge again.



Ladies, I wish you a lovely evening and hoping all of us may avoid any encounters with dumbasses at least for a day, maybe two.

Frank - welcome. I read your profile - you have been through a lot. I did Herceptin for a year and didn't find it too rough (compared to chemo). I hope it kicks your cancer's butt and gives you a nice healthy liver again.

My husband and I went to the northern part of Ireland in 2007. Not the country of Northern Ireland, but up to Letterkenny and then across on the ferry to Buncrana and up to Malin and Malin Head. He has relatives up there (in Ross Head at the VERY TIP of Malin Head) who we got to meet. We found that part of the country GORGEOUS and I wish we could have gone around to the Giant's Causeway (and the Bushmills Distillery). Maybe next time. We found the county Donegal to be the most amazing and beautiful part of our trip. I had been down to County Kerry on another trip and enjoyed the wildness of Donegal so much more.  We loved the Rosguill Peninsula.  I don't know about living there, but visiting was amazing!