January 2012 chemo

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  • Kelloggs
    Kelloggs Member Posts: 965
    edited April 2012

    shell - I had some chest pain/tightness for about a week after my TCH.  I think some of it may have been due to the steroids, too.  I felt very shaky and weak also.  I mentioned it to my MO and she attributed it to the steroids.  I have had terrible hot flashes, mostly at night as well and I am 45, not menopausal (until now I'm chemopausal.  Please talk to your MO about your symptoms.  I am 2 weeks PFC and feel a little better everyday....you will get there too!

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  • Kitchenella
    Kitchenella Member Posts: 279
    edited April 2012

    Hi, I have been reading but not posting much because I'm getting ready for Passover.  Or rather directing my team of grandsons and daughter to get me ready for Passover.

    I want to wish everyone a wonderful weekend whatever holiday you observe.  I'll be back online after Passover.

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  • Jennt28
    Jennt28 Member Posts: 2,021
    edited April 2012

    SOME DAYS ARE NOT BRAVE DAYS: the reality right now is that this chemo is beating me down/up (you get the idea...). Today I cried in my oncologist's office, the car and in the chemo chair. Today I was not my normal brave self - tomorrow must be better?



    On top of everything I have liver function issues and it's causing me extra pain that's keeping me awake so my oncologist is having me get an ultrasound (next Thursday was earliest I could book) to make sure it's just a side-effect of the chemo and not something more sinister - we've already determined I don't have hepatitis...



    So pray/cross fingers etc that it turns out to be "just" another side-effect. I'm to phone and let the oncologist know when I've had my appointment and she will then go online and check the report and call me - so I should know if it's something, or nothing, by Friday afternoon next week.



    There's a couple of other things that are being weird/not normal at the moment too that are being checked or monitored closely over the next few weeks/couple of months - a paraovarian cyst with small solid 2mm solid spot on my right ovary so had a CA125 tumour marker blood test today to see if it's potentially a cancer, and continued soreness and lumpiness in my affected breast in a different area than the original tumour. This supposedly "young" body is falling apart around me and it's getting hard to maintain my happy attitude right now :-/



    Virtual hugs and flowers accepted along with sharp (gentle and caring) slaps upside my head to get me back in line ;-)

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  • annie3310
    annie3310 Member Posts: 111
    edited April 2012

    Jenn - having that 'brave' attitude all the time is overrated and certainly unrealistic. Sometimes I think it's simply for the benefit of the outside world. Who wouldn't be scared, discouraged and probably pissed off about what's going on with your body? My situation isn't as complex as yours right now, and I'm plenty of all those things. Hopefully, those in your life outside of this forum give you space to feel your real feelings. If the feelings are anything like mine, they swing from the positive to the negative with alarming frequency, and I try not to deny them when they're present. I know they're temporary visitors.



    That's a lot of crapola on your plate. I hope things ease up soon.



    Annie

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  • denjak
    denjak Member Posts: 36
    edited April 2012
    Jennt28 I couldnt have said it better:SOME DAYS ARE NOT BRAVE DAYS. Found myself crying on the way to chemo.... at chemo........ after chemo on way to work. best wishes
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  • KristinFro
    KristinFro Member Posts: 230
    edited April 2012

    jennt28, annie3310, and denjak: I SO agree on the "some days are not brave days". I actually get tired of everyone telling me how brave and strong I am. I'm not doing anything differently than anyone else would do to beat this thing. And I cry all the time. Well, not ALL the time, but you know what I mean. In the shower, at chemo, glancing at an old pic of me on the wall, and a lot of times for no apparent reason at all other than just because. If all those people who call me brave and strong saw me at those times... Hugs to each of you. I sure could use one today, too.

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  • DianeNMil
    DianeNMil Member Posts: 130
    edited April 2012

    They just hooked up my last bag of abraxane.

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  • Janetanned
    Janetanned Member Posts: 532
    edited April 2012

    Whooo Hoooo, Diane!  I can't wait for that 'last bag'!  If I was allowed to drink, I would toast you right now! We really should have some type of cyber party when we all finish.

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  • Jennt28
    Jennt28 Member Posts: 2,021
    edited April 2012

    WOW Diane!!!!!!!!! Congrats and hugs - YOU'VE DONE IT :-D



    Jenn

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  • BelaT
    BelaT Member Posts: 217
    edited April 2012

    yay Diane is done with it :)))))))))))))

     ((((((((((((((((((( HUGS TO ALL)))))))))))))))))))))))

    Bela 

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  • DianeNMil
    DianeNMil Member Posts: 130
    edited April 2012

    THANK YOU  JANET< JENN AND BELA!!!

    the nurses cam with bubbles, noisemaker and a diploma......it was awesome.

    Then I left and started crying because not even a phone call from my mom or husband.

    Oh well....going to take my favorite boy(my12 year old son) out to dinner now and celebrate.

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  • Momof2inME
    Momof2inME Member Posts: 683
    edited April 2012

    Yay Diane!!! Have a wonderful celebration with your son!!

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  • CharB22
    CharB22 Member Posts: 310
    edited April 2012

    Yeah Diane!!!! I love the diploma idea! That's excellent. Have a great time with your son!

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  • laurab69
    laurab69 Member Posts: 15
    edited April 2012

    Hello ladies, 

    My name is Laura and I just found this website site today. I have been reading all the posts and feel like I want to join in the group. I started chemo on jan 6 along with some of you.  I have not had surgery yet because my tumor is too big. I have had 4 AC and one taxatere so far. I am trying to stay strong but everyday gets harder and harder. I lost my job after my hair fell out. I worked in a dental office and my boss was afriad I would get sick so he told not to come back... I have been very lonely at home dealing with this by myself... just reading about all of you helps me know I am not crazy....Congrats Diane on that last bag i cant wait to get mine May 30th......

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  • Momof2inME
    Momof2inME Member Posts: 683
    edited April 2012

    Welcome Laura!!

    We are following a similar chemo schedule. I started Jan 9th and will finish May 23rd. I too have not been able to work. Between surgery and chemo there has been no way I could return to the critical care veterinary practice I worked at for 11 years. I was a liabilty to myself and other employees blah, blah, blah.

    I hope your side effects have been minimal so far. I follow and post quite a bit in the Stage III forum too if you want to check it out. The ladies there are extremley welcoming and helpful as are all the women here!!

    {{HUGS}}}

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  • NancyHB
    NancyHB Member Posts: 1,512
    edited April 2012

    Congrats, Diane, on your last treatment!!!  I'm sorry about your mom and husband's lack of appreciation for this AMAZING day - but I hope you had a wonderful time with your son!!

    Nancy

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  • NancyHB
    NancyHB Member Posts: 1,512
    edited April 2012

    Virtual hugs to everyone this morning, as we wake up (depending on time zones!!) and take on another day.  I'm so tired of this cancer defining me to everyone else.  I am tired of crying all the time, feeling depressed and lonely in the middle of a crowded room, and trying to be positive and happy.  Some days are just sucky, and I have decided to be okay with that.  I hate crying, but am so glad that I've found the ability to do so, when I need to do it, and not feel bad about it anymore.

    Nancy

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  • DianeNMil
    DianeNMil Member Posts: 130
    edited April 2012

    Good Morning Ladies,  I was trying to look back on post and respond individually but I do not have the patience this morning!!

    Someone asked me "why rads" with neg nodes.  It is my understanding that with lumpectomy, rad are always a given.

    I am thinking about all of you and sending hugs!!!!

    My MO did not want to give me my last treatment yesterday because I have seased to have ankles!!  I notice swelling in my feet two night ago when I took off my socks at end of day but yesterday at 11am they were huge.  She said she thought I had enough and maybe we should just quit.  My thought was "finish the plan we set out to do!!".  Then I remembered I had drank a pile of fluids that morning because last week when they were trying to put in my IV my veins kept blowing out(got it on vein three).  I hate IVs.  Anyway, she agreed to give me the last dose.  Lots of leg pain last night but today I feel pretty good (that is relative for a person under chemical warfare of course, lol)  The leg pain and fatigue has gotten worse every week - cumulative 12 week thing, I guess. Going to take my boy for a bike ride on the coast. Could be wiped out tomorrow!!

    Nancy - I am starting an excellerated Grad/cross endorsement program in May and I am really nervous with rad and work!!  See you are plugging away at grad school too.  (:

    I too am sick of my reflection. 

    One thing this is teaching me is how uncertain the future is...carpe dium.  Not planning on kicking the bucket any time soon but HAVE been thinking about 'my bucket list' and thinking"no time like the present!!

    I am about to start Grad school, apply for my italian citizenship and plan an interesting trip(thinking Turkey).  Cancer will not define me,  I WILL define me.

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  • DCB
    DCB Member Posts: 3
    edited April 2012

    Good morning everyone.  I am new to this site and I started my chemo on December 23 - but I hope you won't hold that against me:)  I had A/C every two weeks for four cycles and then Taxol every two weeks for four cycles.  I finished only one week ago and the thrill of finishing that phase of treatment is uncomparable.  I just wanted to let everyone know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.  I had many friends and family join me for my last day.  Here in Ottawa we ring a bell to signify the end of chemo and I was surrounded by love, balloons and flowers.  There are photos of the big event posted on my blog and I invite you to visit there.  Keep your chin up:  everything in life is a roller coaster!

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  • maryIIa
    maryIIa Member Posts: 9
    edited April 2012
    Hello to everyone, I haven't written in awhile.  Just started with first Taxotere Wed, nulasta Thursday.  Have a headache from you know where.  This forum is the only place I feel I can talk/blog about the way I feel.  So thank you all for that priviledge.  Congrats to you Diane!  ((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))).  I have to go so I can lie down.  Feeling a woozy (SP).  Wish you all a blessed holiday this weekend.  Support all of you sista's. Cool
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  • laurab69
    laurab69 Member Posts: 15
    edited April 2012

    Hello

    I am on day eight after my first taxotere and I am wondering if anyone has experienced a rash under the arrms and sides of the breasts. It dosesnt itch just weird looking??? I also have a horrible headache must be a common side effect.  

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  • denjak
    denjak Member Posts: 36
    edited April 2012

    Had a Nulasta shot yesterday after Abraxane because WBC was low....woke up this morning like a truck hit me. Barely made it into work......by noon feeling better. Heading off to visit my oldest son this weekend, so I am focused on that.

    Congrats Diane!! I am coming up behind you in the lane....4/18 is my last Abraxane and then I am done. FINI. Wondering how to behave and what to do....my life has been all about doctors and needles and feeling crappy for so long....I need to restart my life.

    Come on in Laura! Welcome. This site has given me information, laughs, hope and a feeling that I am not alone in the SEs! I am almost happy when I find someone else is experiencing the same strange SEs that is our world of chemotherapy.

    Enjoy your holiday everyone.

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  • maryIIa
    maryIIa Member Posts: 9
    edited April 2012

    Dear LauraB69, I have a rash on neck and upper body.  Started immediately after nulasta or treatment can't tell which. Hopefully not to worrisome.  My doesn't itch, just looked flushed. I do not have headaches as a rule, that is when I didn't take chemo, but these with the TC/nulasta are really a bear to tolerate.  Only relief is lying down and finally subsides, then when I get up it comes back rather quickly.  I want to keep moving but my body is resisting. Any one out there got any suggestions for headaches.  I do take tylenol extra strength but that doesn't seem to be a great help, unless, it would be much worse w/o it :( . whoa.  Hugs to all, Mary

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  • NancyHB
    NancyHB Member Posts: 1,512
    edited April 2012

    I need a place to vent a little, so I apologize in advance.  Had a dear friend come over to visit today, and she took some really nice pictures of me bald and topless (lumpectomy and port scars all visible) and then we had a nice lunch.  Anyway, we have a mutual friend of many years, a woman whom my DH adores but I am not nearly as friendly with (long stories).  I realized the other day she had unfriended me on FB - not that I care, really, but I discovered this at the same time my DH was chatting with her and she was saying she missed both of us and couldn't wait to see us again.  I mentioned this to my visiting friend, who commented that our friend "couldn't handle" my diagnosis and decided she needed some space from me.  Her best friend died 1.5 years ago after a long fight with metastatic lung cancer, and my diagnosis brought up a lot of emotions for her.  BUT - this friend decided a couple of days ago that she's "now okay" with it all; my visiting friend mentioned I could probably expect a FB friend request again soon.

    Really?  Really.  I can understand how my diagnosis might be upsetting to some, but it was too difficult for her before, but now she's "okay"?  I'm glad she's feeling better - cuz I still have cancer.  Whatever.

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  • FLDREAMER
    FLDREAMER Member Posts: 166
    edited March 2014

    I need to catch up on reading about six pages or more.  But since my 1st and now yesterday my second Taxol, I've been too tired to log in.   

    However, I felt I needed to log in and share some good news.  Many of you have read my frequent rants about my ill older daughter.    Anyway, she tried for social sec disab almost two years ago and was denied.  She appealed with the help of a lawyer and the appeal date was this past Monday.  The judge decided on the spot during the tele-conference to award her disability.  She and I both sobbed with relief.

    For her, this means she will have retroactive pay plus a monthly amount.  She can get out of the negative relationship she's in and move to where she wants to live.  She is a good person and will repay me the thousand or so I've helped her with in recent months.  She has hope again.  I know money won't solve all the problems and she'll struggle still with getting the right medications, relationships, etc.  But there is hope.

    And for me, most of all, if my heart disease or cancer takes me, I'll die knowing she has a steady income (although small) that will keep her from being homeless.  This alone is priceless to me.  I've been very fearful that something would happen to me.  There is noone else that would or can help her if that happened.  (Her father died many years ago.)  I am so grateful right now.  I don't even care about my cancer.   I can now concentrate on my healing and not worry so much.

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  • NancyHB
    NancyHB Member Posts: 1,512
    edited April 2012
    Karen:  Thank you for the update; you're so missed around here!  Wonderful news about your daughter!!  It is a comfor to know that you won't have to worry about her financially, should something happen to you in the future - and it takes the pressure off your shoulders now, too, while you're working so hard on healing.  I hope this means you'll be able to spend your energy on yourself for a while, and your mind and heart can rest from the worry this has been causing.  *hugs*
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  • DianeNMil
    DianeNMil Member Posts: 130
    edited April 2012

    Karen, that is wonderful news about your daughter. What a relief to you and her. Yes money is not everything but if your struggling or dependent on someone it feels like everything!



    Nancy- that is messed up! I had a friend text me last week(haven't heard from her in weeks) just to say she was drinking mojitos in south beach. No "how are you feeling or anything". I didn't answer.

    People are really bizarre. Either too self absorbed to get it or so self absorbed that it is about them. Makes you reavaluate some relationships, huh?

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  • NancyHB
    NancyHB Member Posts: 1,512
    edited April 2012
    Diane:  You're right - if nothing else BC has given me the impetus to clean out my closets, and my list of friends.  It's sad, really, but not surprising I suppose.  In the end, I will have fewer "friends" but more "acquaintences" and a long list of "see ya laters", too. 
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  • NancyHB
    NancyHB Member Posts: 1,512
    edited April 2012
    Diane:  You're right - if nothing else BC has given me the impetus to clean out my closets, and my list of friends.  It's sad, really, but not surprising I suppose.  In the end, I will have fewer "friends" but more "acquaintences" and a long list of "see ya laters", too. 
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  • annie3310
    annie3310 Member Posts: 111
    edited April 2012

    Karen - I'm glad to hear of the good news about your daughter's SSDI victory. The relief must be huge. 

    Diane - congrats on finishing up chemo. I'm trying to imagine what that will feel like. Two more Taxols and I'll be there as well.

    I just had my second Taxol three days ago and I'm feeling (suspiciously) pretty good. At this point in my last round I was glued to the couch and feeling pretty miserable and stayed that way for days. I'm tired, but without that chemo sick feeling that really knocks me out. No bone or muscle pain either. Hmm. It's so bizarre how unpredictable our side effects are, and it makes it so hard to plan things! I'm not going to complain, though. If it's like this through the rest of my treatment, I'll be really grateful.

    Annie 

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