What does/did your MO/RO/BS/PS say that made you want to scream?

Time to put in the ear plugs! I know reading some women talking about feeling different between rounds...don't assume the worst! I know round #4 of AC was my best/easiest. Not fun, but I rode my bike, walked, and played outside with my two year old. First round of Taxol is a little bumpy but hey baby...hang in there and let the emotional high of being one more closer to done give you hope. I am a big fan of denial and ignorance some days. So what? I've made my decision to go through with these treatments so as long as I don't waiver (and have a fabulous vacation planned between last neo-chemo and surgery)...I'm rolling! I hope you do too...

It's what my onc doesn't say that drives me nuts...he is big on one word answers like "yup". He's supposed to be the best in the region so thankfully the nurses fill me in on what I'm too afraid to ask him and it's all pretty positive.

I get soooooo frustrated when my med onc says that I am doing so well....but when I think he is only talking cancer wise he is right....but me, I have to look at the whole me....and thats not doing so well...

Oh and Carol we must have had the same PS.  Mine said the exact same thing.  Thank You very much....ding dong. 

 "So do you think I should wear my seatbelt on the plane?" 

 "No it is far more likely you will be in a car crash"

FYI  I was at Walter Reed initially (before closure) and switched to Bethesda where I am frightened that the Walter Reed team my end up (split between Dewitt and Bethesda AKA the new Walter Reed)

SherriG

R U kidding me?  Of course it's serious.  I agree with DC Mom, I want my future discussed as possibility of cure.  I also switched oncologists becuase of similiar issues.  My second oncologist is much kinder in the words he uses when he talks to me.  Of course i realize that i might die from this disease.  I just don't want to.

Elizabeth

You ladies have given me a whole new appreciation for my docs, although they drive me nuts sometimes. I liked the way my surgeon dealt with the whole scary issue. I told him I wanted the straight dope, and he said, "Tell you what, if you ask a direct question, I will tell you exactly what the deal is." That way I knew not to ask direct questions about things I wasn't ready for. But I also knew that when I was ready, I could count on straight info.

Caaclark- I had almost the exact conversation with the second opinion surgeon in Boston. He said, "a mastectomy is overkill. We need to only concentrate on this cancer. If you still want to get a BX in 2 years, that is a good time to revisit it".

I heard, if you live for 2 years, then we can talk mastectomy.

I think I had Caaclark's surgeon.  When I asked about dbl. mastectomy she said we're more worried about mets.  A dbl. mastectomy wouldn't increase my odds of survival. Ah, thank you so much. (She obviously never heard of the placebo/nocebo effect). She also said no BRCA test. I was too old at dx.  My onc., however, fought insurance for the test -- and guess what?? Apparently I wasn't too old as I am BRCA2+  Needless to say, when it was time for the mastectomy I got another surgeon. Adios and don't let the door hit you in the rear.

Rachel

5.2010 IDC 4.5, grade 3, +nodes and BRCA2+ 

Rachel - Wouldn't you think that reducing your tumor load AND removing the tumor-production factories that we have called "breasts" might be a good thing?  

My onc likes to say "get involved in more things to Keep Your Mind Off The Pain."  The more things I do, the more fatigued and achey I get.  I understand what he's saying, it's just not working for me.  Yet he keeps saying it.  *sigh*

My last oncologist didn't want to use chemo when my cancer spread because the effects were toxic and "I was gonna die anyway."  Woohoo!  Way to be positive!  

After I came home from surgery (BMX w/TEs) I was in such severe pain I cried every day. I think the MX was o.k., it was the AMAZON sized TEs the PS had inserted....plus the fact that I was trying to be brave and not take the pain meds. I never got more than an hour of sleep at any one time, and was exhausted.

FINALLY, I listened to the wise women here, who said TAKE THE MEDS!!! And so I did. Around the clock. DH even woke me up every morning at 4:00 a.m. for my Norco dose.

But at at my ONE  WEEK post-op appointment, the Breast Surgeon, who up until that moment I adored, yelled at me "What do you mean you're still taking the Norco? You should have been off all of that days ago!!!!! And in that moment she became a mean old witch.

Fortunately, my appt with the Plastic Surgeon was right after that, and he reassured me that it takes as long as it takes, and what the BS said was really stupid (only he was more polite). He said I'd been through a lot, that this recon stuff was painful, and that he would be there to approve refills should I need them. And in that moment, he became Prince Charming.

My team never said anything that made me want to scream, but during my oophorectomy, what they kept saying made me want to laugh!

The day I had my ooph was apparently student doctor/nurse training day. My gynecological oncologist, who was doing the surgery, and the anesthesiologist both had student docs trailing them; the pre-op nurses and the recovery room nurses had student nurses at their sides. After the doctor/nurse did their "hi, how are you, I'm nurse/doctor so and so," they'd show my chart to the student and say--each time, these very words--"This patient is actually very healthy...except for having had cancer!" I've always sworn that if I ever wrote a book about my cancer experience, I'd title it "This patient is actually very healthy...except for having had cancer."

Maybe it was the happy drugs they put in my IV, but I found it funny!

Scoot, I think you win. That is so completely gob-smackingly awful what that onc said to you.

 Day, at least you ruined his suit. Yes!

Celtic, that has been a recurring theme with me too. The day of my first chemo, I quipped to the young onc that except for the cancer, I seemed to be in splendid health. The dear girl didn't miss a beat, glanced down and said, "well, even the cancer is splendid, if you have to have cancer." Which goes with Denise says too, gotta keep hope alive. 

So at my last 6 month check up, the MO opens the examing room door and stands there and asks,"How are you feeling.". And after I reply, "Okay" ... then he walks into the room closer to me. I asked him if I said I wasn't okay... would he have stepped even further away? THAT kind of makes me want to scream. But I guess they like to gauge themselves before they move closer. I have also given up asking him how I am doing. He kind of gives me a blank stare when I ask. It just seems as though as long as they schedule regular check ups with no in-between appointments due to "issues" then I guess there really isn't much to discuss now, is there? I'm happy when I'm in and out of there with NOTHING to discuss but the weather....

At the pre-op meeting with my BS (young, cool and .... now I know....heartless) this is literally what happened... I walked in the door - he said (facing the computer) "So the plan is a modified radical mastectomy with axillary clearance.  Can I just take a look". 5 mins and I was out of there - not a single explanation or because from him. 

I was shocked - I had questions related to lumpectomy! I cancelled the post-op meeting with him as I wanted to get the pathology report from my oncologist not him..... had to wait an extra week for results but it was worth it to get the news (bad as it turned out) from someone with empathy.

The best bit is that it was the BS's nurse who suggested that I cancel the appointment with him and get the report from my onc....

I was very worried about developing lymphedema and mentioned this to my BS. I asked him to please remove only what was abosolutely necessary. Every check-up after that he would look at my arms and hands and say, "See, no lymphedema. You won't get it."



Well, he died in January, and guess what? I just developed lymphedema two weeks ago!