To tell or not to tell...

I didn't tell anyone about the biopsies, but once I was diagnosed with DCIS, I put an email out to everyone I knew sharing "the good news/bad news." This brought tons of support as well as friends offering healing sessions, nutritional counseling, etc...and ultimately it changed the course of my treatment as I was introduced to new ways of thinking about my condition. We all have to do what we feel comfortable with though. I'm happy I shared about DCIS and how it changed my life. Another friend was so inspired, he suggested starting a facebook group called "Donna's Choice: Global Healing From The Inside Out." There are over 230 members now and I post a lot of info on the controversy around DCIS, screening and health-promoting/prevention articles. I also recently created a website to share my journey of two years and all the resources I had learned about. The emotional part of DCIS is very challenging. I also think it is good to make people aware of DCIS and all that we go through -- despite it being stage zero. Thanks for sharing. Sending blessings of peace and health. ~ Donna

I told my kids and sisters since there was no way to hide treatments, and they really need to know for their own family health history.  I told close friends and immediate coworkers as well.

We also told my mother in law and my parents, thinking that they would know something was up anyway, but in retrospect I wish we had not. They worry needlessly (still, 6 months after treatments) and really do not comprehend the difference between DCIS and invasive breast cancer.

The support from those who know is helpful in a way, but for the most part people really make too big of a deal out of it.  Hard to find a balance.

At work, I told my boss right away, as soon as I needed more testing. Told other close co-workers after all testing was done, and I knew I was going to be out for surgery. Some of my coworkers had thought I had been taking personal days during a very busy time to work on my house or something, and were understanding when they realized I was out for biopsies.

I had a VERY difficult time telling my family, and waited until almost all the testing was done. Yes, your daughters and mother will probably worry. But I'm sure they would be more upset if they heard about it later, through third parties.  

I didn't tell my family until after the diagnosis. Did not want them to worry while I was undergoing doctor visits, mammogram, ultrasound, MRI, and biopsy.

I even got my neighbor to drive me to the hospital for the surgery and then had another neighbor drive me home. 

I just wanted everyone as calm as possible for as long as possible--for my sake as well as theirs

Of course the end decision is yours, but in my opinion U should tell all that's close to u--u don't know how u'll feel and u might need some more support than u think. And if they found out somehow or seeing u maybe tired if that happens they might worry too, And they will be more vigilant in testing. I did tell my dgts. It doesn't matter what u'r stage is u have cancer--don't fear it for others fight it for others.

I didn't tell my immediate family about my LCIS for years.  My father and sister had serious conditions and ended up dying.  LCIS was nothing compared to that.

I also was diagnosed with a different, potentially more serious, condition when it was apparent my father and sister were not going to survive more than a very few years.  I still haven't told my immediate family, nor most of my more distant family.  Why?  I have a very mild case so far (progression is highly variable.)  Also, a family friend (who I never met) had this same stuff  that I have and died of it.  At that time, my brother said that he couldn't imagine a worse death than this. I have told some co-workers, and a trusted middle manager at work.

I only tell certain people  at work about my LCIS diagnosis because I've had confidentiality breaches at work (I work at the hospital where I get some of my care.)  The night before my surgical excision, I had a co-worker tell me that the radiology clerk (who essentially was a male stranger) recommended that I have bilateral mastectomies because he knew a co-worker who had LCIS and that's what she chose.  That was not helpful to me.

I know this is illegal, but someone posted here that when she had a mastectomy, her breast surgeon told her boss that she was suicidal.  (This would obviously be a HIPPA violation, even if her surgeon had the skills to diagnose this.) She had invasive breast cancer, and her boss did not hire her back after her recovery from surgery.  She was single, and her sole source of support.  I don't know how she handled the rest of her cancer care.   Since I am single, I would not want that to happen to me.

I've had a fairly 'dysfunctional' family, and they've been pretty judgemental about many things I've done. 

So I think every situation is different.  Everyone has different relationships with their family members and co-workers/bosses.

Secrecy has never been a family value for us. My adult daughters would have been beyond upset if they had not been involved. They have supported me in every way, cried when I cried and celebrated my victories. My whole family, parents, siblings, etc. have been there 100 %.

Caryn