How to deal with a toddler?

My son was 17 month at dx.... and 20 mo now. The hair thing didnt phase him just cut it in dtages. I was so worried.abouut ruining him. A.neighbor and child psych said that matter how this goes anticipate some behavioral issues but as long as the child is well loved and taken care of by ppl who love him everything can be worked out. Most ppl i talk to said their young kids dont even remember treatment. One of the biggest things u can do is call his pediatrician for two reasons. If he ever gets sick or has a behavioral meltdow (hasnt happened so far for us) then the ped will see.him right away since u r immune compromised. And it will affect his vaccines. He cant have any lve virus vaccines while u r on chemo. My son derek was a terror for about two weeks or so after my mx. He equilibriated to the new situations. He is very cuddly and kissy but still comfortable to play on his own. Try to keep him on routine as much as possible. You will be able to hold him just not lift him. Use a.pillow to protect youself right after ur mx. You may not be able to feel it if he hurts u. We told d.mommy has an ouchie boobie and he had to be gentle. It worked pretty well. Feel free to pm me with more questions. I am on my phone

Drry for mistakes. He will be fine it might be a.painful tantrum filled adjustment but he will b ok!

I think trying to stick to routine as much as possible will help. He will take his cues from you and your husband. Do you have family and/or close friends nearby? Have you heard of cold cap therapy to keep your hair?

My son was almost 4 when I was diagnosed. I am a stay-at-home mom so we were always together and very very close, rarely got babysat. Before starting treatments (same treatment as you) I arranged for him to go to my sister's or mom's house on the day of chemo and sleep over and comme back the next day. I didn't want him to see me sick if I was to get sick from chemo. After the first chemo: didn't get sick. 2nd chemo: still wasn't sick. 3rd chemo: all was fine. So after that he stayed home and was there when I got back from chemo. I wanted him to stay in his routine as much as possible. The "hair" thing scared me more then him. I too was affraid because since he was a baby, he was always playing with my hair and had to play in my hair to fall asleep too. When the time came, he and my husband shaved my hair together. We thought it would be less traumatising for him if he participated. When all my hair fell, I wore scarfs and hats and he was fine with it but asked me everyday when my hair would be "normal" again. I think that for him, when mommy's hair would grow back to what it was before, it would mean that mommy was ok. But all in all, I found out that children are very resilient. They adjust to the "new normal" very fast. I told him what was going on with me every step of the way and he took it all in. Made him grow up fast in that year too. Things that I used to have to do for him, he decided to start doing for himself. I was and still am pretty proud of him. Good luck with chemo. You may be suprised on  how well you will handle it. Stay on top of things. Take your meds like they will tell you too. Let family/friends do things to help you like cook dinners. I had lots of help and it gave me more time to rest when I needed to and be able to take the time with my son.((( Big hugs)))

My daughter is 2 1/2. I just had my breast removed and she clearly knows that something is not right with Mommy. She's so distant from me now.

She doesn't wanna hug or kiss me like she did prior to the surgery. I'm just wondering what to do to get our closeness back. I really miss it and it kinda makes me sad. I hope it gets better because I don't know how I will be able to cope with it once I start chemo. My daughter is my world and I really miss her affection. :-(

Elesha- I stumbled across your topic and just wanted to drop in. I was diagnosed at 33 also, when my daughter was 3 and my son was only 7 weeks old. As a stay-at-home, breast-feeding mom who had never used a babysitter other than the grandparents, I was very concerned like Babs was. I had a VERY hard time with my chemo regimen (different one than yours) and needed to hire a part-time nanny after needing to be hospitalized after the first infusion. Meanwhile, my girlfriend had the identical regimen as you and worked throughout all of her treatments and managed her 2 toddler boys. Despite my difficulties and the guilt I felt needing so much help with my children on my "bad" days, my kids handled it perfectly fine. I actually saw positive changes in my daughter, too, like being more outgoing with new people and more self-confident.  My son remained extremely easy-going throughout, still knew that I was "mommy," and walked at 8 months! Like everyone else is saying, kids are extremely resilient! Not only do I know this from what my own kids have gone through during this process, but I am also a child psychologist. Personally, I feel that toddlers are somewhat easier because they aren't as traumatized by the hair loss. I made the wig shopping "fun" for my daughter, didn't act upset about it in front of her, and let her try on the wigs as if it were Halloween.  Also, she did not have a concept of cancer being such a serious illness nor a concept of death. Thus, her issues were more the day-to-day routine issues. I tried to be as involved as I could, like some of the other moms have suggested, even just lying down and watching a movie with her if I felt too sick to do anything else. I kept explanations simple like, "The medication mommy is on might make her lose her hair and feel tired sometimes, but mommy's hair will grow back. Mommy's energy will come back. On days mommy doesn't feel well, we will make sure you have someone else to play with." I can tell you that I did feel discouraged at times during treatment because I felt that I couldn't be there for my children in the same way as before. I also felt guilty when I was envious that other women didn't have to get up with a infant during the night on days they were exhaused. Hopefully, you will find it very manageable, like my firend, but even if you find it tough, know tha it definitely gets easier. I am only 2 months out from chemo and already feel that so much of my "old life" has returned.

 Sade- I agree with Laura. You can reassure her that it is okay to kiss mommy, just not bump her chest, or whatever the case may be in your case. Kids move on from things so quickly at her age.