Experiencing Stage 1/Grade 1 = "Play Cancer"

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  • bedo
    bedo Member Posts: 1,866
    edited January 2012

    Yeah, I liked getting diagnosed... it added drama to my boring life.  And the surgery part was just like being on TV.  Plus the rads machine was cool.   

  • bedo
    bedo Member Posts: 1,866
    edited January 2012

    Sorry.  Deleted post.  I'm trying to say only good things today.

  • Kaara
    Kaara Member Posts: 3,647
    edited January 2012

    Play cancer?  That's a new one I've never heard...or would expect to hear from anyone that I considered a friend or loved one!

     When someone speaks like that you can only assume that they are clueless about the disease and its consequences.  Detatch from their remarks and release them to the universe for all time!  As someone said above..life is chaotic enough during this time to have to put up with idiots....NEXT!

  • bgirl
    bgirl Member Posts: 538
    edited February 2012

    Yes it is insulting.  Had a good friend of my husband and myself who said did they catch it early? When I said yes.  Well that is not so bad then.  Put it down to ignorance.

     Because of my screwed up pathology, I was upset about not knowing exactly what tumour size was.  My MO said that it didn't really matter.  Once the cancer is invasive not in situ it has the smarts to have spread doesn't matter so much about size.  So now I am just concentrating on making sure I am doing everyything I can to keep it from coming back!  Don't think of it as playing.  As someone said so eloquently on another thread.  "this isn't about saving our breasts, but our lives.

  • catbill
    catbill Member Posts: 326
    edited February 2012

    Play cancer, huh?  And I thought my brother was the only idiot.  Boy, am I wrong.  I think they all deserve a slap upside the head, and just to make it more fun since we're just "playing", let's use a baseball bat.

  • GabbyCal
    GabbyCal Member Posts: 277
    edited February 2012

    Corrinne - First, as you know, there is nothing playful about invasive cancer, regardless of the grade or stage.

    Early on in my treatment, I endured similar comments and I was devastated by them.

    As time passed, I learned that through BC you learn a lot about the character of the characters in your circle of friends and relatives.

    Sometimes the things some said were so shocking and just plain cruel I couldn't even come up with a response.

    Hopefully, there are others in your circle who will amaze you by their kindness, caring and understanding.

    I found it interesting that I could never have predicted who would fall into which category. Believe me, there were some real surprises!

  • lhasamom
    lhasamom Member Posts: 35
    edited February 2012

    Wow!  What total a$$holes!!!  I think with age, I have lost all sense of modesty.  I would have NO PROBLEM removing my shirt and showing off my mastectomy and my right breast with no nipple!  My PS is wonderful and absolutely fantastic, he did a great job doing the reduction of "Hoss".  I named them because there was such a difference in size,.  The other one was Lil Joe.  LOL  I just can't believe how insensitive some idiots are. 

  • newksmom100
    newksmom100 Member Posts: 55
    edited February 2012

    Corrine, we have a similar diagnosis yet very different treatment.  I opted for a lumpectomy, rads and tamoxifen. Even though I have not heard the words "play cancer", it has definately been insinuated that because I did not have either mastectomy or chemo that I am the lucky one.  Lucky that "they" found the cancer early.  "They" did not find anything, I found it by doing exactly what we are trained to do (slef exam).  Yes, I still have my breast, the one that now looks like someone took a small ice cream scoop to it and left a crater.   My nipple now points slightly to the left.  I think I look like someone who has a lazy eye that does not look straight on (no offense intended, just an analogy),  And on top of that I now have this a sunburn in a place the sun should never see.  Cool  I could go on and on.  In the end, like you, my "play cancer" has altered my body, my mind and my whole life.

    I agree with YSA who said she is not so scared of THIS cancer. I have said to every one of my Dr's that THIS cancer does not scare me so much since it is caught, removed and being treated. I am scared of the potential "floater" that some how slips through, I am scared knowing that my body is now pre-disposed to cancer, I am scared knowing that I personally cannot check my ovaries, brain, cervix and uterus for lumps.  I am scared for the potential side effects of rads and tamox.  I am more scared of NOT taking rads and tamox.  Yes, our "play cancer" has left all of us disfigured both physically and mentally.  We all will carry this burden and fear of recurrance for the rest of our lives.  Adopting what Leah said.  Next time someone says I have an easy cancer, I'm going to tell them, "Tag, it's your turn."

    Ladies, we are woman, hear us roar.  Wishing the best to all of you. 

  • bgirl
    bgirl Member Posts: 538
    edited February 2012

    Newksmom100- yes! people don't seem to understand that it isn't the breast cancer in your breast that kills you. It is the breast cancer that shows up where you really don't want it, bones, lungs, liver.

  • kaza
    kaza Member Posts: 284
    edited March 2012

    exellent reply!!!!!!!!!

  • kaza
    kaza Member Posts: 284
    edited March 2012

    That is terrible,

    I would have been so angry, the emotions, losing part of us is all fun!!!!!!!!! 

    Heartless people,    

  • odie16
    odie16 Member Posts: 1,882
    edited March 2012

    While I personally like the suggestion of educating them with a 2x4, I understand you may have to tolerate the idiots if they are indeed relatives. You are a better woman than me as I would not have been able to bite back a nasty & sarcastic remark. (((hugs)))

  • annievan
    annievan Member Posts: 92
    edited March 2012

    Hooray for all the suppport for you here, Corrine!  You've unleashed a band of furious women - - I have visions of the women in the French Revolution, pikes and all!  I do hope those two in your family will figure out how out-of touch their cute comments were and muster up some warmth and compassion for you soon. . .if not, I vote for the 2x4 or "tag, you're it. . . " comment.

    Ditto CLC's apology for stepping into the wrong stage forum.  I saw the "play cancer" topic, and it hit such a nerve, I didn't even realize I was "out of stage".  I just have felt like such an interloper/imposter/intruder these last few weeks, and I can definitely relate to all the comments from people that you are sort of "playing cancer".  I was diag. with LCIS recently, and indeed I was (and still am!) so grateful, but the br. surgeon told me my pathology was extensive and he felt I  need to go the PBMX route.  This guy is known to be big on breast conservation, so when he talked with me about this, I heard him loud and clear.

    So I'm doing all the pre MX appts. and decisions, and I am forever in explanation mode with people, like I am a br. cancer wannabe or something.  It's very confusing, and I do understand your frustration, Corrine, and the rest of you girls, although I can't say I can relate to hearing "you have invasive b.c".  I'd really like to chuck it all and go back to the days before I went for the screening mammo that led to all this, really.  But then, I think of the friend who died last winter of B.C. and the fact that she prob wished she'd gone to the doc sooner and the fact that her awful struggle was what prompted me to make my appointment in the first place, and I remember why I'm doing this.  That my Br. surgeon didn't tell me I need to have my boobs cut off just for fun and to play cancer, that I needed to. . .to potentiallly save  my life or to beat having to do chemo or to live with the fear lurking around all the time.

    Again, please forgive the intrusion.  I am sorry about all the folks who have tried to minimize what you girls are dealing with.  Stay strong and tough!

  • Layla2525
    Layla2525 Member Posts: 827
    edited March 2012

    I suppose those are the same people who think a gun shot wound in battle is a play wound. Hmmm...guess the person would think it was a game if it happened to them. Thats is absolutely unacceptable. I am so sorry that happened to you. I have relatives like that and before cancer another issue came up and I told them that their language and comments were unacceptable. They decided not to ever speak to me again after several other incidents and my having to correct them in a court of law. I am happy to have them out of my life even tho that was their decision but you have to make your own decisions if you are able to ignore the comments or if you want to tell them the comments are unacceptable and demeaning and de value the life of every person who has struggled with this disease whether its a lumpectomy or stage IV.

  • scaredycatwoman
    scaredycatwoman Member Posts: 77
    edited March 2012

    Recently diagnosed with BC stage 1--what does ER+/PR+,HER2-mean

  • SheChirple
    SheChirple Member Posts: 954
    edited March 2012

    And, to my sister who said "well, it's too much for me to handle, call me when your all done" (meaning with my treatment)....well, sis, it's been nice knowing ya! But, since it's never "all done" I guess I wont be calling anytime soon.

  • lhasamom
    lhasamom Member Posts: 35
    edited March 2012

    Er= Estrogen receptor (can be Positive +  or Negative -)

    PR= Progesteron receptor

  • sherrypl
    sherrypl Member Posts: 33
    edited March 2012

    I heard the same thing. A friend just recently said " oh yeah your right breast is sore because you had that breast cancer thing". I am coming up to my 3 yr anniversary and have chronic pain from radiation, I still cannot stand to have my breast touched and shield it in large crowds or big hugs. I could not believe she dismissed it as that cancer thing. I hope she never has to truley understand how cancer changes your life forever! Even my husband has told me to get over it and that was 6 months into it. Everyone deals with it in their own way.

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