BC makes me depressed about everything

Joan,

No real words of wisdom but what you are going through seems pretty normal given that this is a second diagnosis. My HMO offers counseling with a psych and/or social worker as a standard part of oncology care, if you feel you need it. I talked to both just to understand myself and how my dx might effect me emotionally. I also started on Effexor which has been helpful since my quick trip from stage II to IV. Maybe just chatting with someone be it psych, rabbi or support group would help.

Caryn

I struggled with depression/anxiety in my distant past.  Antidepressants changed my life forever, for the better.  I am not sure that they would work as well with a situational depression/anxiety, like you describe, but it might be worth a try.

Other things that help A LOT...exercise, scheduling enjoyable activities (reading, walks in sunshine, dinner out with best friend), good music, time with children, pets...all the reasons for liking being alive.  It is sometimes a question of focus...if you are worried about losing all that is good, you are not spending time enjoying them...  I think it takes some determination to not let bc take any of it away from you. 

I think it is possible to fake it until it becomes real...  In other words, do all the things that you WOULD do if you weren't stressing out about losing it all, and it will eventually replace stressing out about losing it all. 

At any rate, that was how I went about changing my behaviors once I was on the antidepressants and once I had those new behaviors, I could stop taking the antidepressants, but continued the behaviors that made me feel so much better...

Those are my two cents, anyway.  I hope that you find peace from the worries.  It is so hard to turn away from the "reality check" and turn toward the things that feel good.

All my best to you...

Claire

EDITED TO ADD...  I don't want to make it sound like I am not struggling with some of the same anxieties, too.  I am.  I have a few times since the bc dx thought of returning to antidepressants, if only temporarily, because I have had my share of the same kind of dark thoughts.  I have, so far, managed to stay positive, but it has not been easy for me either...

Hello Joan, I think I understand, even before my DCIS diagnosis I have had those same thoughts about all the different types of loss that we/family/friends ultimatley face in life. I can get pretty down sometimes, but fortunately when I do hit the bottom I spring back up pretty quick! Not that I'm recommending that you keep sinking, this is just my experience. When something like BC pops into our lives it just takes any negative thought patterns up another notch. I've been trying to deal with this the past week and that's when I finally broke down and wrote my first post on BCO. I was embraced with lots of advice, stories, and support... this has made all the difference. So far I have decided not to go the anti-depressant route yet but it's definitely not out of the question. I'm also not ready for counselling yet since it's not practical for me to have yet another weekly commitment, let alone the inconvenience of having to make the drive (I live in a rural area and the closest counsellor is about an hour away). So I am enjoying my girlfriends, and connecting with sisters here who so understand and have been a godsend.

Here's a link to the thead I started a few days ago called "Getting through the emotions..."

http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/68/topic/784144?page=1#idx_16

Give it a read to see if any of the replies help you, and maybe join in or connect with one of us! 

Kate33 told me about this post "Great saying about depression"... "Depression is not a sign of weakness.  It's a sign you've been strong for too long."

I haven't posted there yet but sounds like a fun bunch of gals that talk about lots of good stuff, and the emotions. Here's the link:

http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/102/topic/759882?page=104#idx_3105

I will be thinking about you Joan. One time when I did go to counselling (after my brother passed away) I was told that when something particularly tragic happens in our lives that all the other unprocessed baggage that we carry around with us comes to the surface to greet us. Lovely. Besides the BC I have to take on all this other stuff that has been hiding inside me just waiting to get dealt with. I don't have the solution yet. Just taking the bad days with the good for now. This morning I went for a walk, first one in a looooong time, it helped. But all of us are different and have to find the one thing that really centers us, for me it is my faith in God.

Here's a quote from Mother Teresa that I have said out loud in laughter and in tears 

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle.
I just wish that He didn't trust me so much."

Hugs to you!!!!  And please keep us posted as to how you are doing

Forgot to mention, as Layla said Vit. D supplements can help. My doctor told me that in the winter here in Saskatchewan we women over 45 should be taking 2000 iu of Vit. D3 daily. She said and I quote "I don't care if you're doing snow angels naked, you're not getting enough sun required for Vit.D" ))  Of course it's just about spring here now. My girlfriend said she was having weepy times and the Vit. D helped. Also I have been taking Vit B100 daily - the stress vitamin apparently, be sure that you're getting enough Vit. C because I understand it helps to absorb the Vit B. I can't stand taking pills but I notice I big difference if I slack off on the Vit B100.  

Joan- Everyone gave you such great advice so i dont have much to add to that but wanted to send hugs and let you know you are not alone i think we have our days of worry and depression some days are better than others for me. I think that is wonderful that you are helping other cancer patients as hard as that may be for you maybe it is kind of a healing for you too? I think just because you do/did have cancer they trust you more because you know how they feel.  I hope this passes and you start to feel better soon.

Warm gentle hugs

Debbie