Any February 2012 radiation gals out there?

My treatments yesterday and today were really awful emotionally and physically.  I'm doing that breath hold technique (the respiratory gated thing).  Well yesterday I had significant trouble keeping the level of air up high enough for them to radiate me.  I can breathe in deep, but once I hold my breath, the bar on the screen drops down and the machine shuts off automatically.  For some reason when I held my breath yesterday and today my stomach pulled in, and this meant the box they watch with a camera dropped down, automatically shutting off the machine.  (When you breathe in, the box raises up b/c your diaphragm expands, and the box is sitting on it's markers on your stomach.)  I wasn't blowing out any air or anything, yet my stomach would pull in.

So this led to the tech's coming in (kinda frustrated with an attitude), telling me I'm not doing it right, yet not able to coach me how to improve my technique.  It was so unbelievably frustrating.  Then the tech decides she's gonna move the box up higher towards my lower ribs...NOT on the markers.  This completely freaked me out - I mean, the markers are there for a reason, aren't they?  That's where the box is supposed to sit!  So I questioned her on this, and instead of giving me an explanation, she held her fingers up and said "I'm only moving it 4 mm.  It's fine.  I'm not going to hurt you."  So I'm flipping out and told her I wasn't comfortable with that.  So she moved the box back to it's marked spot, and somehow I suffered with breathing in, then "deeper" ..."deeper"..."deeper"!!!!  Have you ever tried to breathe in on top of an already fully expanded chest without letting any air out?  It was unbelievably difficult and exhausting.  So I left and was in tears for a full 15 minutes in the car in the parking lot.  I couldn't even drive, b/c I felt I was too upset to do so safely.  So all night last night I'm freaked about it, contemplating quitting, you name it.  Had to take a sleeping pill to sleep (which I rarely do).

Today I walk in - same exact girls are there as the techs.  doc isn't in.  So, in a panic, I ask to see the nurse before treatment.  I explain to the nurse and another rads tech (one that they brought in to help - I love him), and he was able to explain to me WHY they can move the box a little bit, etc. etc.  All the technical details.  I told him that was all I needed.  I just need someone to explain the why behind why they are doing something like move off of a marker that I'm told not to lose or misplace!  I told him that every single day it takes so much mental effort to drag myself in there and that all I need is someone to explain things...and I'll be fine...and then of course I lost it and started crying!  Oh, that is so not me.  I usually can keep it together but boy this just put me over the edge.  He and the nurse were sooooooooo nice.

So, I still had to have the same rad techs do my treatment, and I still had the same issue, but they did not move the box.  I just suffered through repeatedly breathing deep, deeper, deeper - I don't know how many times until the full tx was able to go through.  Afterwards I was breathing really hard, was dizzy, and shakey.  That has never happened to me after a treatment before.   I'm pretty sure I hyperventilated myself.  Good grief. 

Next time I get a good tech who I can talk to I am going to have them coach me better.  The tech today told me perhaps I should practice at home.  Uh, I'd practice if I had someone to give me the proper biofeedback about what I'm doing in the first place...ugggh!    I also don't know why I'm having so much trouble now, when I had been doing ok with it (occasional trouble, but nothing like this).    I'm so frustrated and disgusted.  However, I am glad for the other tech being so incredibly nice and understanding, so that makes it all better.  He told me I can call up there any time I have questions or find him if he's not in the treatment room, that I shouldn't be at home worrying and wondering.  He is great.  

Ok, I've babbled and you all probably think I am a nut bag by now.  I'm not, but I do feel like I'm at the end of my rope lately.  It's like I have no reserve or strength to handle things emotionally like I used to.  <sigh>  Thanks for letting me vent.  

Dancetrancer, there is absolutely nothing wrong with looking out for yourself. I'd be freaked if they moved it too. After a few more weeks, you'll never see these people again. Good for you for speaking up! And I think a few meltdowns are inevitable, no matter how well-adjusted we are under normal circumstances. Go girl!

Also, Dancetrancer, for what it's worth -- in my "breast cancer yoga" class last week, we worked on deep breathing, not for the gated thing, just for relaxation. She had me put my hands on my lower belly first, and breathe deeply enough to expand it. After some of that, she had me put my hands on my outer ribs, and do a two-step breath, first into the abdomen and then expanding the ribs. Then the third step was to breathe into the abdomen, then the rib cage, and then imaging I was filling up the top of my lungs. That last step--into the upper lobes--was a new one for me, but it did seem like there was room up there that I didn't expect!

Dancetrancer - I can identify with everything you say. Some of the techs are more caring and seem to be more fastidious about my positioning. The other day I felt as though they bumped the table and it moved after they had lined me up, but I didn't say anything. How are you going with the breathing now? I am interested in the gated breathing which I have read about. After reading about it I tried to hold my breath when the radiation buzz came on. I mentioned it to one of the techs who said it wouldn't make any difference.

Hope you are going better with it now.

Today is my 10th rx. I have a fungal like rash under my treated breast. Am using an anitfungal cream but it doesn't seem to be getting better or worse. 

 Gerri 

Hi Ladies,

I have 4 more boosts then I am done.  I just changed my dressing and cried through the whole thing.  It hurts so much, all i can think of is how do burn patients do it!  My underarm hurts so much, under my breast is so raw and awful.  I can't remember how long it took to heal. 

4 more 4 more

Yay for Vicodan...lights out and a good night's rest soon for you bojo!  (Glad to hear they aren't radiating the bad burn areas!)  

GirlPowerDebbie, I forgot about your trip coming up. Man, I could not do that at this point! I'd be yawning the entire time. Good for you. And that's a good perspective about your sister.

But I feel so sorry for you, Bojo. They say that burn patients have the most extreme pain. I'm glad you're almost done.

RO gave me a prescription for Biafine today, along with a sample, because of redness and it felt really good when I put it on. I think someone mentioned it previously -- is anyone else using it? Would it have helped Bojo, I wonder?

Hi all,

I had #9 of 33 today. So far my skin is fine. I am using Emu Oil twice a day. Anyone else using this? I am starting a new job on Monday and am nervous about fatigue. Hopefully it will be okay.

I get the thing about the techs. I have one guy and girl that are so great and I have at least one of them most of the time. But there is one guy who I have sometimes that is so unfriendly and he acts like it's a pain to even be there. It's so frustrating!

I looked at those ingredients too, and it made me wonder why it's prescription-only. Do you see anything in that list that would be restricted, Dancetrancer?

I like to avoid medication in general, but I love the Biafine so far and will be happy to use it for a few weeks if it "minimizes skin breakdown" as promised... It took my skin from red, sore, and itchy to normal with one application...

Chicago, I'm not sure why it is prescription - but some of those terms I am not familiar with, so they could easily be a prescription level type of drug.  I'd use it if it were me - those are some amazing results you had with just one application! 

I'm putting "yoga tape" from the library on my to do list for sure.  After practicing my breathing last night and this morning (with my WONDERFUL DH who watched my tummy and coached me), I came through today's treatment without a hitch!!!  Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Also, the tech that "poo-poo'd" my concerns and made this whole issue worse than it had to be on Monday spent lots of time answering my questions today.  She was very patient.  She mentioned something about knowing I was in healthcare.  I never told her that, so I KNOW somebody told her I had a meltdown in the office yesterday.  I don't care.  She sure did have an attitude change today, so I hope she learned something.  Don't poo-poo your patient's concerns.  Some of us want and NEED to know the technical details, and if you dismiss us, you will only make the situation worse.

So, I found out starting today I will have a bolus every other day for the next 2 weeks.  They are doing the bolus to the entire skin of my breast...uggghh...bring on the burns.   Gonna keep up with my creams and hope for the best.   Today was treatment #17 of 28. 

Today was #17 of 30.  Dancertrancer - so glad you were able to have your treatment with no issues.  And good for the person who spoke to the tech!!!

I have a bolus everyday to the area where my incision is.  So far I have had no burns!  However today I have developed a slight rash just above where the bolus sits.  So tonight I will use the steroid cream if the itching starts to bother me.  This afternoon I am using aloe gel. 

The technicians at my Cancer Centre are the most patient and caring group of people!  Yesterday they noticed that I had to hold my arm up on one side, so this morning they had someone come in and fix my mold so I would be more comfortable.  They all take the time to ask how I am , how work is going.  Every morning one of the ladies checks my skin for burns and other problems. I feel fortunate to have such a wonderful team treating me. 

The fatigue is hitting me - I find that by mid afternoon I can hardly keep going here at work.  Good thing my company is so accomodating.  My boss made me a cup of coffee this afternoon and brought it to me with a cookie.  She thanked me for my dedication to my job!  I thanked her for modifiying my job so I can still work and have an income!!  I am sure they will all be happy when I am back to "normal"!

Take care of yourselves, get someone to spoil you today,  we all deserve it!

Hi Anne - sorry to hear you are having problems.  I have been using Eucerin Original Lotion as well as pure aloe gel and so far no issues.  Today was 17 of 30.  Maybe ask your technicians or nurse if you should add another lotion.  I was told by my RO that some sensitivity in the nipple is not uncommon as there are so many nerves in that area.  She did not say anything about cracking however.

I hope you can find some relief soon!

Today was Day 16 of 30 of RX.  Honestly, so far, radiation is one of the best parts of my day.  I was lucky enough to get the 8am first appt.  I dont have to fight for parking, I dont have a wait, the techs are absolutely amazing... they watch me to see how I am day to day.  I go in, lie down, hold on to a pole above my head and close my eyes.  They ask nothing of me.  I stay calm and use this time to relax.  

I have struggled with Tamo SE's and now an allergic reaction to Tamo but the radiation has not caused me to much distress.   The only issue is the fatigue which started last week.  I now prioritize how I will spend my day.  Mon & Tue I was dealing with the allergy to the Tamo and so had additional doctors appts.  So I never made it into the office and worked from home half day.. with a nap in between.  My company is also very accommodating and supportive... even they say my health comes first.

I saw my rad onc today who told to expect the redness to come in the next few weeks..  but I am diligent in using the Prutec cream prescription.. I apply liberally after radiation and once or twice more each day.  I'm being proactive hoping to prevent things from getting bad.  

I have a calendar at work that counts down my radiation.  March 22 should be my last one!  

To Sherrybaby... You go ahead and lose it... flip out... I know I would.  It takes emotional energy to deal with cancer and for me.. I can deal with what I know and a defined course of action.  I psyche myself into that.  When I get a curve ball, its hard and I allow myself to first fall apart if I feel the need, then pick myself back up and regroup.. adjust my plan.    It sucks.. Cancer sucks... but we will get through it.   This site helps.   Cry if you want to!