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  • Lovelyface
    Lovelyface Member Posts: 674
    edited February 2012

    I just came back from doing an MRI of the cervical spine. As I showed my pain area to the technologist, she said, well, if it is not the nerves from your back which is giving you the pain, then it might be the soft tissues, in which case, that is another MRI.  I was so disappointed.  Couldn't my Oncologist give me the correct test.  Now I have to go through 30 days of waiting for an authorization for an MRI of the soft tissues?  What is this?  I am so sick of doctor oversights.  This pain has been there for over 3 - 4 months now.  I must say it is a strange pain, it does not fit into the category of a nerve pain, although it does feel like an overstretched muscle or something.

    Does anyone have any info please.  Does it normally come back in the soft tissues?  If so, how does one get diagnosed?  What type of a test would show if there are any lesions or something that is causing the pain.  

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  • mccrimmon324
    mccrimmon324 Member Posts: 1,076
    edited February 2012

    Wow, those pics are stunning!  That is what I would picture my dream home to look like. 

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  • laurajane
    laurajane Member Posts: 321
    edited February 2012

    Heidi- What a nice surprise to have with my morning coffee. Thank you. The first photo is actually my front yard. It is a rock garden filled with dwarf conifers and miniature perennials. The fountain I carved out of limestone. The 2nd design/ installation was for a client. I had included the hand carved limestone bench in the design and he said he had always wanted to learn how to carve stone he is in his late 70's. I told him I'd teach him and I did. He said carving that bench was one of the biggest thrills of his life. This made me feel great.



    Babs- I've had pain in my liver area from Halavan too but my CT scan didn't show anything significant I hope that is the case for you too. Congratulations on this being your last one. Hooray! I'm just blown away by you and others that have been able to work during chemo. You are a strong woman to say the least. I put you all on a pedestal.



    McCrimmon- I still haven't figured out how to post photos. Heidi tried to explain it to me once. I guess I need to bite the bullet and try it again. It was a nice surprise to see my gardens on here this morning.



    Lynniea- so saddened you had shingles, I've heard they are very painful. Congratulations on your one year. I hope you are feeling better soon.



    I hope everyone has a great day. It is another beautiful day here. It's heading your way Titan. I hope the warm sunshine puts as big of a smile on your face as it does mine. I'm going to try and start some seeds today in my greenhouse, morning glories, sweet peas and more. If I start them this early they will bloom early I can hardly wait to enjoy their fragrance.

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  • laurajane
    laurajane Member Posts: 321
    edited February 2012

    Lovelyface- that is beyond frustrating. I just don't get it. I thought a MRI showed everything. I can understand why you are so upset. It sure seems like there would be a way to rush it especially if you've been in pain for several months. I just hope it's nothing serious but wishing you a speedy ins. Ok.

    Linda- I did have sweet dreams. I dreamed that my onc said it was ok for me to get Botox. I was so happy. In real life she said she doesn't want me too while on chemo. I know it sounds crazy but I want to look good even if I only have a short time. Chemo and weight loss have aged me so much.



    Sugar- thank you for the sweet compliment. This is the best time of year to do garden planning. I love going through all of the garden magazines and plant cataloges and getting new ideas for my

    gardens. Dreaming!



    Titan- we are now friends!



    OBXK- that's hilarious! I've never heard of a dog liking the taste of wine.



    Phgraham- I agree I just love Inmates avatar, I'd love to paint it. So much emotion, yup love it.



    Lynn- thank you too, for the sweet compliment.



    Inmate- love your avatar. I would love to paint it. Do you still have hummingbirds? Ours fly south for the winter and don't come back until around the middle of April.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2012

    LJ- I looked for that magnificant Children's Garden you did, but couldn't find it. Did I see it on your FB or was it on another website (couldn't find yours). I'll post it if you can re-direct me.

    Headed off to teach an Animals in Winter class at the Nature Center later today. Going to look under rocks, logs, etc. for insects, discuss some of the taxidermed critters and their winter habits, play in the wet lab with the reptiles and amphibs, and stroll along the stream looking for animal habitats.

    In other words, I'm going to get dirty!

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  • mccrimmon324
    mccrimmon324 Member Posts: 1,076
    edited February 2012

    Heidi, that sure beats my job.  I sit behind a desk all day.  Let's switch!

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  • inmate4232010
    inmate4232010 Member Posts: 310
    edited February 2012

     ok ladies.....you asked for it!

     

     

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  • inmate4232010
    inmate4232010 Member Posts: 310
    edited February 2012

    i hope i won't offend anyone with the pics i posted.  also, is this against the rules (full frontal)? 

    LJ.....yes, i do still have hummingbirds.  as a matter of fact i really only get them in the spring and winter.  they go off and enjoy REAL food in the summer and fall.  i just love to be able to watch them through my kitchen window.  i do worry that they get brain freeze in the winter.  lol!  your landscapes are just DIVINE!

    if you would like i can send you the pic.  just pm me your email and i will send it right over. 

    heiditoo....i'm with mccrimmon, can we switch?  do you need any assistants? 

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  • Lovelyface
    Lovelyface Member Posts: 674
    edited February 2012

    Inmate - what a gorgeous woman you are!!! I always loved your avatar, so expressive, so real.  You truly have a gorgeous body before and after. Many of us would love to have your abs, shoulders and ...

    I hope you don't mind me asking, but what is that lump I see?  Has that now been resolved?  I will try to post mine here too, if I can learn how to post pics.

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  • inmate4232010
    inmate4232010 Member Posts: 310
    edited February 2012
    lovelyface.....thank you so much for the compliments!  while i'm not a regular workout girl i like to think my ADHD has kept me fit through the years.  the lump is actually my port.  it looks much more pronounced in the photo than it does in real life.  i would love to see some of your pics.
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2012

    Inmate - gorgeous!!  I love the complete one that you cropped for the avatar.  I also love the b/w images. Beautiful subject and a fantastic photographer husband.  Your calm stance and openess makes it even better.  Plus I know it's not easy to get the lighting right for that type of shot.  You're gorgeous and he's really good! What a pair!

    Phyllis

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  • Suze35
    Suze35 Member Posts: 1,045
    edited February 2012

    Isabelle good luck with your mammogram, though I know you won't need it.



    Cristina - YAY on finishing up the Halaven! That must feel so good, and I hope you bounce back very quickly. When will you get your first baseline scan?



    Inmate - awesome avatar, and one I think well expresses what many of us on the board feel. Now... The Full Monty please, heh.



    Laura, your work is beautiful, really. Boy I could use you around here to help with my neighbor's 'Sanford and Son' styling lol.



    Lynneia - I'm sorry, that just sounds like it sucks!



    Lovelyface, I don't really know what to tell you as you've had most of the major tests for cancer. It could be a pulled muscle, or a soft tissue injury you don't recall. Anyway, I hope it works out for you.





    Best,

    Susan

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  • christina1961
    christina1961 Member Posts: 736
    edited February 2012

    Inmate,

    Those are great photos and really capture your feelings in each.  Makes me remember the Scar Project photos, too - if any of you haven't seen those, they are also wonderful. I'll try to find a link but I am Ativan Lazy right now so back to work....(just had chemo.)

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  • inmate4232010
    inmate4232010 Member Posts: 310
    edited February 2012
    phgraham.....thanks so much!  my husband is a professional photographer and while i'm not usually very photogenic, he is just that good.  i also had the opportunity to participate in a photo shoot with a very famous photographer on an fine art project he was doing.  the models were all "natural" and painted or clayed.  hanging out with 7-10 naked strangers for the afternoon sure can humble a person.  i got to be covered in clay.  it was a thrill to say the least!  although standing, without moving, for an 1 1/2 while the cold clay dried was a challenge.  i will say that once it was over my skin was amazingly smooth.  that clay ripped all the tiny hairs right off!  most low-rent spa treatment i have ever had.  once the images are published i will share the link.
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  • mccrimmon324
    mccrimmon324 Member Posts: 1,076
    edited February 2012

    Inmate, Amazing photos!  You are beautifull woman.  I wish I was at least 1/2 a photogenic as you.  I think if anyone finds those pics offensive they sure don't belong on this site.  I think they are beautiful and tastefully done. 

    Suze, sadly I think I've got your neighbor's "Sanford and Son" style this year.  Was diagnosed in April of last year and did absolutely nothing in our yard all summer except mow the lawn.  My landscaping is embarrasing and now I have to wait another month or so before I can do any trimming just to be sure any cold snaps are over. 

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  • ksmatthews
    ksmatthews Member Posts: 812
    edited February 2012

    Inmate I am at a loss for words.  I just hate what cancer does to us!  I think you look beautiful!  I never knew that avitar was you.  Those pics sure dont bother me, just made me realize what this disease has taken from some.  I was fortunate to not have to do that.  

    Bless you for sharing! 

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  • TifJ
    TifJ Member Posts: 1,568
    edited February 2012

    Inmate- Awesome pictures!! It really shows that despite all the crap we go through with BC, we can still be beautiful!

    Laurajane- I sure wish you lived closer!! My yard is in serious need of landscaping! We moved here 2 years ago (brand new house) and just as we were going to get started I was dx. So this spring we need to get it done. We have planted a few trees, but nothing else. Your work is absolutely gorgeous!!

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  • Suze35
    Suze35 Member Posts: 1,045
    edited February 2012
    Inmate - oh my gosh, those pictures are amazing!! Just an astounding testament to the emotions and scars - both physical and mental - that we are left to deal with. And yet, how beautiful and strong we remain throughout this awful process. Thank you for sharing such personal moments.


    Heather - oh I hope I didn't offend you! I normally could care less how someone keeps their lawn - their money, their choice - but this guy does it just to bug me I think. Maybe I should be the bigger person and let it go. That would make him madder, lol.

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  • mccrimmon324
    mccrimmon324 Member Posts: 1,076
    edited February 2012

    Suze, No, no, you didn't offend me at all!  I'm completely embarrassed by the state of our yard and honestly I'm sure it's not that bad.  Well, everything is dead and its a bit weedy but it's not like I didn't have a good excuse this year  Smile

    No offense taken.  Believe me I completely understand about unkempt yards & neighbors.  I certainly don't mean to offend anyone but were we used to live our next door neighbors use to park on their/our lawn in between our houses and it used to drive me crazy! 

    As my friend Katie would say, kill'em with kindness, start telling your neighbor you love what he's doing, that would get him going!

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  • LRM216
    LRM216 Member Posts: 2,115
    edited February 2012

    Inmate:

    Feel offended????  Never, what I feel is that I want to reach out and protect you, cradle you in my arms and make it all go away.  Wish that could be a reality.  Heartrending pictures - they say it all, don't they.  Thank you for sharing those bittersweet pictures.  

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2012

    Inmate- "a picture's worth a thousand words" as the saying goes. Like LJ's paintings, which some of you have seen, they express emotions that words simply can not. Well done.

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  • Babs37
    Babs37 Member Posts: 455
    edited February 2012
    Inmate- The pictures represent our reality "inside and out". To me they represent strenght and courage. Great pictures.
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  • Lovelyface
    Lovelyface Member Posts: 674
    edited February 2012

    christina - what?  back to work after chemo?  Really, are you working away from home?  You must be so strong, as I cannot imagine going to work after chemo, not even the next day or the next.

    Suze - So good to hear from you.  Thanks for your comments regarding my case.  All the tests have not been completed, they are just taking a hell lot of time to accomplish.  I am waiting on two results this coming week, the MRI of the cervical spine and the biopsy of the enhancement in R. breast they found in my recent MRI.  Both are hugely stressful, as a bad result could change the course of my life.  I am not too worried about the enhancement they found on my right breast, but the pain in my neck worries me.  It is like a muscle pain, however, heat or cold therapy doesn't make it any better or worse, so that is weird.  If the cervical MRI doesn't show anything, I will ask for a soft tissue MRI.  Didn't MBJ have a shoulder pain for a very long time before she got diagnosed recently?  I am afraid of something like that.

    I have never been checked for my neck pain before this.  As for the enhancements on MRI, I feel they don't have to be cancer, they could just be something else.  I sure hope so.

    Everyone - have a great 3 day weekend.  I can't wait to get out of work this afternoon.  Time is not moving fast enough.

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  • Titan
    Titan Member Posts: 2,956
    edited February 2012

    Inmate..love those pictures..that dawn works damn well...

    Off to shower..lol..

    And I don't get a 3 day weekend...whine whine whine...

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2012

    LJ's Children's Garden:

    Wonderlab Children's Science Museum

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  • bak94
    bak94 Member Posts: 1,846
    edited February 2012

    LJ-Beautiful landscaping! I love those 3 skinny trees, are they sarugo cypress or soething like that? We got one for our yard and I just love it. ( I could totally have the name wrong!)

    Inmate-Gorgeous photos! You look great and your husband is very talented! I went through a 2 year photography program about 10 years ago and did just a little photography after, but after my first breast cancer it made it hard to hold up a camera(had 47 lymph nodes removed), pathetic huh? So I lost interest as it caused pain for me. I do miss it though.

    Had my 3rd radiation today. Saw the ro and he showed me my very first pet scan to help explain where he was radiaitng. OMG! That internal mammary node that runs into the mediastinal node was huge! It freaked me out! It extended halfway under my sternum. I don't see how they could possibly say that was stage 3. I think the doc that read the ct was right! Stage 4. The reports always broke it down into 2 nodes, so the dimensions were smaller, but when added together it was huge! I got all teary eyed when I saw my husband afterwards, he was waiting in the car for me. (wasn't expecting to see the doc today). Oh, the node sat just above my heart too! So basically, the rads are going to hit the top part of my heart, no way to avoid it. Good news is with the ct's and xrays for rads set up, nothing bad is showing up and my last chemo was Oct. 27. I am very thankful for that, but because my disease was so extensive what does that mean for my prognosis? Are my docs just being overly optimistic when they say that they think I will do well? Of course they don't deny that it might come back, which of course at any stage we all know is a possibility, but since I am technically stage 4 does that mean it is guaranteed to come back? I just have to get my head around the fact that things could change at a moments notice and I need to focus on being happy and the good stuff and stop all the worrying and live my life while I can. I think I have been sticking my head in the sand thinking of myself as stage 3, although that is what my mo said. As always, I am confused, and I know it is not black and white. Sorry for rambling. I am very appreciative of how I responded to treatment, just don't want to live my life waiting for the other shoe to drop. Thanks for listening, I learn so much from all of you.

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  • Babs37
    Babs37 Member Posts: 455
    edited February 2012
    LJ- So beautiful!
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  • bak94
    bak94 Member Posts: 1,846
    edited February 2012

    I posted before I saw the new landscaping photos. I love how everything just looks so natural, that is what we are working towards with our front and side yard, but we have been doing it ourselves and are not very talented, and we buy young plants so it's not as expensive. I love how the sun rays were captured. Ahhh, those photos have just calmed me down:) Thank you.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2012

    I think the trees in front of the brick house are dogwood and redbud.

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  • inmate4232010
    inmate4232010 Member Posts: 310
    edited February 2012

    LJ....WOW!  I wanna have your talent.  or can i just fly you out here for a vacation/consult on my yard?  oh, how fun would that be? 

    babk94...sorry to hear you had to give up a passion because of this FC.  have you thought about one of the new point and shoots?  my husband says some of the new ones are really great.  i'm no photog so i just leave that up to him.  where are you doing your radiation?  i too had positive internal mammary nodes and was sent for tomo therapy so they could avoid my heart and lungs as much as possible.  wait?  didn't we talk about this before?  sheesh!  i can't wait for my memory to come back!  anyway, i would still love to get together with you sometime.  i have an open schedule at the moment so just let me know what works for you.

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