Teen Struggling in School

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PlantLover
PlantLover Member Posts: 622
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

I know this has absolutely nothing to do with breast cancer but I hope you guys will understand.

I really wasn't sure where to start this thread but thought I'd try asking my Stage III sisters.

Someone very close to me is struggling with some very severe issues.  This young person is suffering from social anxiety so badly that there's a chance that this teen may not be able to finish traditional high school.  The person is already undergoing treatment with therapy and medication but things have gotten so bad that there is consideration being given to withdrawing the youth from high school and enrolling him/her in an on-line high school program.

The program being considered is James Madison High School.  

Does anyone know anything about this program or any similar programs?  If you'd rather share any information you have regarding this privately, please just message me.

Thanks!!

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  • fredntan
    fredntan Member Posts: 1,821
    edited February 2012

    I personally hated my high school. was very negative experience. I was insecure, shy. many of the teachers were horrible. We didn't have this kind of school back then. I would have switched to one of these. I went to small school there were a lot of clicks and bullies

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  • PlantLover
    PlantLover Member Posts: 622
    edited February 2012
    fredntan ... Thanks for responding!
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2012

    These online HS are legitimate and do provide a diploma.  If this is the recommendation from the school child study team and therapist, I would still, as a parent want to advocate for the child as to what the school will be offering as far as education.

    image

    Barb

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  • Mallory107
    Mallory107 Member Posts: 223
    edited February 2012

    I w ould absolutely have my child do this if there were serious issues at his school  Its just not worth it when in this day and age you can get the same education online.  Our highschool even gives kids that option now-rather than losing money to Cyperschools we have set up our own. 

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  • epgnyc
    epgnyc Member Posts: 101
    edited February 2012

    Plant Lover,

    My only nephew went through very much the same thing when he 16-17.  He too was in treatment and on medication but the anxiety worsened to the point where he was no longer able to attend school.  He completed his last year of high school through alternate and on-line programs.  We were all so worried about him and ultimately how this would affect his life and future job opportunities.  I am happy to report my nephew is now in his 20's and is Asst. Branch Manager at a JPMorgan Chase Bank in Connecticut.

    While I completely understand your concerns about this young person, please take heart.  These programs can be a god-send for students like these.  Good luck to all of you.

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  • TwoHobbies
    TwoHobbies Member Posts: 2,118
    edited February 2012

    Plantlover, while we haven't yet used this option, I've looked a little bit into it because my son has a chronic disease that causes many missed school days.   I would recommend the parents check with the school and see if there is an on-line option available through the school district or state.  Some states do have online school programs.  Also might want to get connected with some homeschooling groups or parents, as they may use some on-line classes themselves.  I would think any on-line school would be fine as long as its accredited.

    Also, I will mention that this young person is probably subject to a 504 plan where the school has to provide accomodations for him/her, which could include home tutoring services. 

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  • PlantLover
    PlantLover Member Posts: 622
    edited February 2012

    Thanks again for the responses.

    The school said the only way a 504 plan can be pursued is if the student stays in school and completes a long evaluation process which may take 60 days or more.  Even then, at the end of the evaluation, the recommendation may be for the student to receive limited or no special assistance.

    As far as the public schools in the area being able to offer on-line education, that's not an option.  This information was given to us via the Dean of Counselors at this child's current high school: 

    Although there is a "Virtual Public School" option, it is only allowed to be used to recover class credits for promotion to the next grade level (i.e. Summer School) or in cases where a student may need short term access to classes on-line due to a temporary physical health problem (i.e.broken leg) which cause their actual presence in school on a daily basis to causes a physical hardship. 

    There doesn't seem to be much help if the needs fall into the area of mental health disabilities such as the ones this child is having. Although that is very frustrating, it will not end our search to find some way to get help.  Funding may be an issue, but it's one that we simply have to face.

    It's nice to know that there are some that have good experiences with the on-line programs.  Again, thank you so much! 

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  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited February 2012

    Sorry to butt in (not stage III) but without wanting to be nosy, are there bullying problems? Because if so the school is responsible for addressing those - regardless of whether the student is found to merit a 504 plan. If the answer is yes, I thought I'd share the following resource: The National Bullying Prevention Center: http://www.pacer.org/bullying/ and a special bullying support site for teens: http://www.pacerteensagainstbullying.org/#/home.

    Another observation: has consideration been given to homeschooling? It's my understanding that the district would still be responsible and may be able to provide teaching support even there.

    It may be a good idea to consult the local Parent's Center (formerly known as PACER Center). To find the one nearest to the child, go to: http://www.paretcenternetwork.org . People there are especially knowledgeable about educational rights and may be able to suggest some good options. These are federally funded centers and they offer free help.

    Finally, the HHS's Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration evaluates and scores different summer and year-round behavioral programs for children. These programs are not the same as schooling, but may be helpful: http://nrepp.samhsa.gov/SearchResultsNew.aspx

    You can, for example, type in "social skills" in the basic search option.

    Hope this helps. Good luck.

    Athena, butting out (even though I may actually be in denial about IIB - it may be IIIA as my tumor was exactly 3.4 cm - but IIB's my story and I'm sticking to it! Tongue out )

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  • PlantLover
    PlantLover Member Posts: 622
    edited February 2012

    Athena - Thanks for all the info.  Although there has been some harassment from the other students, I do not feel that it would constitute bullying

    We've been in touch with the current high school administration and they are, to be honest, of little or no further help at this point.  The only thing within our current school district that a 504 plan would afford would be that the student may be eligible for special assistance while IN school.  In order for the evaluation to be completed, the student would have to be IN school.  We are really not surprised they are of so little help ... we've been trying to work with them for the past three years.  Yes, that is frustration you are hearing but I don't want to turn this into a bitch session, so I'll be still.

    I don't think returning to a regular high school is a good choice at this point. It looks like an on-line high school program will be best.  In order to follow all necessary state requirements, the child will be registered as a home schooled student and the instruction will come from the on-line program.  From the research done so far, there doesn't seem to be any financial assistance available.  Kind of sad, and that's an understatement.

    On a final note, I started this thread on the Stage III forum because I really wasn't sure where else to put it.  For what it's worth, I have never understood the opposition to someone posting in a specific stage forum if they were of a different stage.  To me, the focus should be on the appropriateness of your post, period. 

    Soooooo ... if anyone wants to share anything else on this thread please don't hesitate to do so simply because you are not stage III.

    Again, much thanks to those who have responded!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2012

    I have cyber schooled both of my sons. Both could not deal with school. They have now graduated. PM me if you have any questions or concerns.

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  • 37antiques
    37antiques Member Posts: 643
    edited February 2012

    I can totally empathize with you.  One of my kids has had many social and bullying incidents in school (he has ADHD), and we seriously considered home schooling for a while.  There are a good many of them out there, if your school is no help, I'd even try to call a public library or another district close by to see if they can recommend a good one.  The school *should* in theory provide the curriculum, but some are claiming they can't due to budget restrictions nowdays.  There are also classes they can take away from home, usually 6 months out of the year, twice a week or so, where you go for the whole day with other homeschooled kids so they have documented phys ed and other required subjects (shop, home ec, etc.).  Another option would be to contact a community college, some of them have a program where you can get a jump start on college while finishing your diploma.  Sometimes medication and therapy takes a very long time to coordinate and get right before you have a positive effect.  We were lucky to have our district stand behind us and intervene when the bullying became serious, and our younger daughter took a stand against the bully-er and told him his behavior was just downright mean, while our older (college) daughter made a point of going to the school and having lunch with him, since lunch was the worst time of day for him.  It's a tough age, it seems once you are a target for anything, all the kids catch on and have some social free for all.  I hope you find something that works well for this teen in your area, there has to be something.

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  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited February 2012

    Twice  I tried to post here and twice Metro had to stop between stations on me and ruin my connection...

    Plantlover - just to express my sympathies. I have had to become acquainted with special ed law and how public schools carry it out and the record, generally speaking, from coast to coast, north to south and forgetting no red state ( Tongue out) is: abysmal! Schools do everything they can to drag their feet. I hope the new idea works out for the child.

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  • TwoHobbies
    TwoHobbies Member Posts: 2,118
    edited February 2012

    Plantlover, I completely understand wanting to get out of the school system all together.  It is often so frustrating to deal with them.  However, if money is an issue, I believe this could be pursued further.  I did a quick google search and anxiety disorder seems to be covered under the Americans with Disabilities Act.  If so, the public school must provide an education and accomodations.     

    If someone wants to pursue this further, I would suggest a few things.  Look for info on 504s on the web, maybe go to anxiety disorder boards or organizations as they will be familiar with accomodations specifically to ask for.  Maybe talk to the teen's doctor about the problems at school and if he/she is familiar with 504 plans.  Find out who in the school district is charged with 504s and speak to that person.  It sounds like they want to be discouraging and don't want to do it, but it's the law.  

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  • Janetanned
    Janetanned Member Posts: 532
    edited February 2012

    Alternative private high schools could be considered as well.  I teach in a small private alternative high school in Philadelphia PA.  We have students who struggle with emotional and social issues. Students are sent to us by their local school districts who pay the tuition. The program is highly individualized and students are given a great deal of support and encouragement.  We have a social worker and psychologist on staff.  We have an art and music program that is very therapeutic. The benefit of attending an actual school as opposed to cyber school is that the students get to interact socially, they have access to live teachers, they receive a variety of educational materials,they get out of the house, and the day is structured for them.  We also offer guidance and support to the family.

    We've found that some students need to get an advocate to help negotiate the school districts evaluation process.  Some parents need to sue the district for services.  There are law firms that specialize in education law.  Also, there are many support groups that can help parents navigate the education system.  You might want to look into this organization

    http://www.nami.org/

    Good luck!

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  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited February 2012

    There is napsec - National Association of Private Special Education Centers. They have a searchable directory. Two nephews of mine went to a special needs private school - for $35,000/year apiece, but it was worth it. Now on their way to college after being dismissed as lost causes. This is obviously not for everyone.

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