The solution to painful intercourse!!!!!! Yipeee!

bump

3jays, I found that everything felt really dry & tight when getting an exam. The lubricant the Dr's office used barely helped & they had to use a very small hmmm ummm (dont remember the name of the instrument) speculum?? when doing an exam. The exam itself was even painful when they moved the instrument around. Hope all goes well.

hugz suz

Suz - I will check with the compounding pharmacy here next week.

Normally when the woman goes thru menopause or chemically induced menopause whichever the case, my OBGYN says the body part gets paper thin and dry and like the skin can be painful. So I was asking my friend about the problem and talking to the dr. The dr gave me Premarin which works but its got 17 horse estrogens in it,not so good for cancer I think. My friend told me to rephresh or replens which all of that is non hormonal glycerin type lube which you can get with one applicator or you can buy the box with the 8 prefills. I am definitely gonna look into some of the products mentioned by you gals on the thread. Thx a million. By the time we have the time,we're too tired or too sleepy or too achy or his allergies are acting up or he got upset about my bc and he drank too much beer and passed out. We really need to find a local support group mainly for him.

Isin't it sad that the PRIORITIES from the past get shuffled down to the back burner?

Layla...you're not alone. I think there are lots of ladies, that are tired, too achy and feel downright crappy from the damn drugs we have to take. I wonder if it will all turn around once off the drugs.(?) One can only hope.

Well, artsee, I think BC often gives those priorities a big hiney smack, so to speak. I sort of resignedly think of myself now as a declawed lioness who naps in the shade when she used to prowl.  Cie la vie, she grumbles, and swats at a fly...

Four years into this BC business, I can barely remember what it felt like to be lost in the pleasure zone.  It's a happy day anymore when I can feel merely comfortable in my body.  But to feel pleasure here in my skin?  Well, as Springsteen sang, "Glory days, yeah they'll pass you by..."

Frankly, all of that took a sharp downturn years ago with the mastectomy and reconstruction, and whatever small joys remained after that took a plunge off the abyss with the hyst/oophorectomy three years later. I feel like every part of me that was created for sexual pleasure has been removed from my body so the part of my brain that controlled those parts just closed up shop and went dark. I would mourn the loss of that part of my life to the point of distraction if I were not so resolved to force myself not to dwell on loss, and to work on living in the present and accepting what is. (I realized at some point in my cancer journey that dwelling on my losses was driving me into inconsolable sadness, and so I must simply refuse to tally up the loss column.)

So all that to say this -- when I can manage to hold onto that perspective, I can acknowledge that in a way it is a blessing in my present physical state that desire has totally vanished.  Having desire but not being physically capable of pleasurably consummating that desire would only make my life miserable.      

Having said all of that noble and brave stuff, I will now concede that on any given Friday afternoon I would be willing to trade my beloved collection of about 100 cookbooks and half of my jewelry for one night in my former body.  

AHWWWWWW, lullu and everyone. I get teary eyed reading these posts. The wonderful body God created, seems so left behind now. It makes me sad. But I am hopeful for what is to come, as so many of you are comforted by the SC.

I recall Zoh starting this thread, and I was so impressed that after all the treatment she had been through, that she still had enough love of life to be even interested in sex!! I congratulated her on that. She started this thread back in Oct and just passed away this month. Truly an amazing woman who gave this rotten cancer no quarter. She fought to live right up until the very end. I hope many of our sisters here will benefit with Scream Cream as its called. One of the many losses we suffer they dont talk about is our sexuality. But please all of you who do get benefit, please do remember Zoh who brought this helpful cream to our attention. She was a very special person, I miss her so.



Judie

Judie & Scuttlers.. I think of Zoh every time I come to this thread (& everywhere I see her beautiful face) and cant believe how many woman (& husbands) she's helped by being herself which was so open, caring & genuine.  I also think its so beautiful that she got that part of her life back before she had to leave. She is such a beautiful soul and will be missed for a very long time. Just seeing the way "Zoh is a special Angel Now"  & the "Golden Thread" threads are still being so closely followed by so many truly shows how far her love went and how much everyone wants to give back from being touched by her.

I believe K-lo passed the scream cream info to Zoh to start with (dont know for sure but it sounds like it) and Zoh was generous enough to open up her private life to all of us so that we could all have that back! That's very gutsy & so generous.

I didn't know her the way you ladies did, but like so many others here, felt like she was a best friend after talking to her just a few times. What a privilege it must have been to know her in a much more personal way. It makes me want to go back to all my posts to see if I actually got to be called "Darlin" by her..

My normal Oncologist will finally be back for my next appointment. She's been away for six months... probably the hardest six months of my treatment because i have a lot more very personal & private questions for her and talking to a substitute Onc just wasn't working for me. My case goes before the Canadian board of Oncologists whenever there is any sort of change or when I need answers that aren't your standard issue replies (due to a life threatening error that was made a while ago) She wanted me to speak to the whole cancer agency staff over this, but i declined. I could have had a huge lawsuit but didn't want to take my treatment or life in that negative direction.

But anyway Im going to have her take SC to the board of oncology, or I am willing to speak to them on behalf of BC patients in Canada. From what I'm seeing its even harder & way more expensive to get up here. We need to change that and also have it available to all woman who have to deal with chemo or menopausal induced Vaginal Atrophy. I know this was a big deal when they couldn't help me with it originally and think this solution will be openly welcomed in the Cancer treatment community... Zohs web is crossing boundaries and Borders into other Countries and I hope it becomes standard treatment worldwide. I will credit the information given to me by Zoh an Angel who gave back to us what cancer tried to steal!

Ahhhh Lulube, Yes I too would love to have my former body back.. crap I would even love to at least have a bad small boob job.. Im also 4 years into this but am still fighting to find a way to feel sexy... pretty damn hard to do when you've had an oopherectomy, indents where my D cup girls used to be (& they were still beautiful breasts at age 47) now a huge tube & bandages pasted to my ribs as well as thinnig hair so you can see my scalp... Not a sexy picture when I have to hide 50 % of my body all the time from everyone. BUT I still go out of my way to make my leftover parts as sexy as I can and cover the rest with anything feminine or lacy. No I cant abandon myself freely to sex but I can try my best to look as feminine as possible for the guy who has stood by my side while his wife got parted out like an old car he still says Im sexy and is so happy to have our love life back.. no matter what we all get older, lol He told me yesterday he married me for better or for worse... he still thinks its been for better.

Love & Hugs Gals, Suz

Sending a special one up to you Zoh along with many thanks for being who you were.

Will never forget "Dont Postpone Joy!!!"

Suz - your post had me in tears.  I too didn't kow Zoh but I felt I did through this thread.  Of course I can't even begin to say it as eloquently as you did.

LuLu - I am trying to figure out how you are doing your hair but I can't visualize it.  Can you post a picture?  I am getting tired of just putting mine up in a ponytail 90% of the time but then again I hate too much time getting it nice so a 3 minute hair style sounds WONDERFUL!

There ya go, jancie! 

Lulubee.....

I am with you on doing everything I can to feel sexy.  So nice underwear, perfume, and bath potions.  This is critical.  I think my silk thongs were a critical part of making it through chemo.

I find exercise is important here too.  Stretching and using my body in preparation for other things.  I don't want to not be able to do a critical move because I'm not limber enough.

I have my breasts....they are no longer completely symmetrical, but they look just fine.  So does the rest of me. I am strong and fit.

I too am so glad that Zoh got to enjoy "the godly arts" once again prior to having to leave this world.

Anyway, the need for Scream Cream extends way beyond breast cancer patients.  It's any woman who is suffering these symptoms.  I know from market research I have conducted that this potential market is huge.  Importantly, this is a topical treatment, so little danger of adverse side effects.

Other than that grin that some women can't seem to wipe off their faces after use

- Claire

I am so glad that Zoh was able to get back this part of her life before she passed. I do so wish she had more time to enjoy it and the "pleasure" her thread has brought to others too.

Hrf, here's the link to the compounding ingredients:

http://compoundingtoday.com/CNLSharedInfo/DownloadPDF.cfm?Item=Scream_Cream_Handout.pdf

Print this out and give it to your Doctor & the Phamacist... Its the compounding ingredients so at least the pharmacy will also have the exact amounts. Note the OTC one by the exact same name does not have the same ingredients.

Claire I agree with you 100% that this should be out there for anyone who's got/has issues with chemopause, menopause or even extreme vaginal dryness. I took my rx to my family doctor first.. figured it would get a lot of exposure from her to ordinary patients... I'll be seeing my oncologist in a few weeks. So that visit will be more towards cancer patients who get forced into menopause. I havent seen her in 6 months so it will be a long visit whether she likes it or not.

Lol, Whippetmom.. Im sure the look on his face was priceless!!

Lulubee  Hee heh, I could use me one of dem scarves.. lol priceless

hugz my ladies xxx Suz

Oh there is all kinds of sexy in the semi-bald look --- OOOPS! Was thinking of my DH (and that jar of SC on the bathroom counter).