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isisdrms
isisdrms Member Posts: 1
edited June 2014 in Stage I Breast Cancer

Hi,

 I was diagnosed on Oct 28 Stage IIB IDC.  I just finished the 4th treatment last Thursday for two chemo drugs.  I wait 3 weeks and then start another --for once a week for 12 weeks.

 One year from the month that my port was placed, my son's port was taken out--ALL (acute lymphoblastic luekemia).  I fought, researched, and discussed EVERYTHING with my son's Drs but I simply can't find doing it for myself.  I knew each and every drug, side affects, etc.  It was a long 4 years.  I can't believe that now it's me!  I'm vaguely familiar with the chemo I'm on as these  I finished are familair.

I thought I was doing ok but I know I'm not.  Considering what I did for my son, I can't find it in myself to do the same for me.  Has anything been through this?

My Dr. has suggested an anti-depressant.  I have NO energy to do anything I use to.  I manage to go to work and that's pretty much it.  I already take an anti-anxiety drug just don't want to take more.

My husband, family, and friends are more than supportive.  They're great.  I think that after so many years of fighting for my son (4 years of chemo and before that 10 years of mental issues), all the strength just went out of me.  I don't know what to think now.

Thanks for reading,

MaryB

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  • Racy
    Racy Member Posts: 2,651
    edited January 2012

    isisdrms, you will get an emormous amount of support and information from this site to help you through your treatment.  I see you have already found the Stage 1 and 2 forum.  It takes a little while to work out where everything is on this site but once you do it's a godsend.

    It sounds like you have a supportive doctor.  I am wondering if you have ever tried counselling? It could help a lot to process and deal with your feelngs. I'm sure your doctor could recommend a suitable counsellor.  Ideally, you should have someone experienced in working with cancer patients and their families, and who is someone you can relate well with.  You may be able to access free counselling through your treatment centre or cancer society.

    The ladies on here can help you to be strong. Best wishes. 

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  • Faye33
    Faye33 Member Posts: 180
    edited April 2012

    Wow, Mary!  It sounds like you have had a really rough time for several years.  I'm so sorry.

    You are only human, and it sounds like you have been doing the job of several moms for years, and now you're in chemotherapy.  Your body and mind are bound to be exhausted, and you need to concentrate on taking care of yourself now.  I know as a Mom, sometimes that is one of the hardest things to do.

    Ultimately, you need to do what you are comfortable with, but I know it is pretty common for women going through breast cancer to need an anti-depressant to function better.  Everyone is different, but just because you take an anti-depressant now, doesn't mean you have to take it forever.  I had postpartum depression and took an anti-depressant for a little over a year, and then slowly went off and I feel fine now.  I view taking anti-depressant as just like doing chemotherapy.  We have to take our drugs to get better.  Depression is an illness, our brains aren't producing chemicals like they should and sometimes we just need an extra boost for awhile.

    Also, I don't know what chemo you are on, but I did ACT, and once I got done with the AC, the Taxol was much easier.  Not a cake walk, but I felt more like myself.

    Please take care and I really hope you and your family finally catch a break soon.

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  • SunnyCoconut
    SunnyCoconut Member Posts: 350
    edited January 2012

    Hi,  I have taken an anti-anxiety med for years also.  When all this breast cancer stuff really started to get to me my doctor just increased the dose since most anti-anxiety meds also help depression. Dont feel wierd about it, you'll feel so much better when your head is straight, and you will start to get that old research going when you feel like it.  Don't be so hard on yourself.  ((hugs))

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