MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

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  • Ceeztheday
    Ceeztheday Member Posts: 403
    edited December 2011

    Mac- Hooray!!!!!!

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  • madpeacock
    madpeacock Member Posts: 369
    edited December 2011

    This five-year discussion has me thinking again about something that occured to me recently. Since you are forever waiting for the other shoe to drop and recurrences can happen even 20 years later, you can never really say that you HAD breast cancer, can you, because you will always HAVE breast cancer? Considering I am only four months into this, that sounds depressing. i have had surgery, I have had radiation, and I am faithfully taking my tamoxifen, eating a healthy diet, and exercising, but I am only safe until my next mammogram/scan/test results. 

    Hmmph. This sucks. 

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  • NativeMainer
    NativeMainer Member Posts: 10,462
    edited December 2011

    madpeacock--you've hit the nail on the head, dear.  We all have to find a way to cope with the fact that the beast can rear it's ugly head at any time, no matter what treatment we get or what lifestyle changes we make.  We can pray and hope that we are in the larger percent that never see it again, but we cannot know if we are in that group or the other.  Somewhere here on the boards someone wrote that we are always only one test away from Stage 4.  It's a hard thing to learn to live with, and there is no one way to cope with it.  I can tell you that it becomes less of a "front burner" thought over time.  I choose to say I HAD bc.  I choose to say I am cancer free.  Untl something gets big enough to find, I'm going to act as if it isn't there.  That's how I'm coping.  You'll find your way, too. 

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  • Sherryc
    Sherryc Member Posts: 5,938
    edited December 2011

    mac woohoo no more surgery

    madpeacock-I don't remember much about my first visit with my RO but the one thing I do remember his him telling me that breast cancer is not curable.  They can get us into remission with treatments and we can do everything we can to minimize our recurrence but there are no guarantees.  I came away feeling like this sucks. I am however learning to live with it much better.

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  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited December 2011

    NativeM,   It might have been Barbe who said we are all just a scan away from being Stage IV (at least that is where I heard the saying.)   I say I am cancer-free too, and I do talk about it in the past tense most of the time, hoping that time does not make a liar out of me.

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  • KiwiDiana
    KiwiDiana Member Posts: 18
    edited December 2011

    I will always think I became cancer-free the moment the surgeon cut the  IDC grade 1 stage 1a, 9mm tumour out of my lefty.   13 days and counting on my next attempt at remission!  My ex-DCIS righty is still fine, 5 years later. :D  Happy New Year!!!!

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  • Sherryc
    Sherryc Member Posts: 5,938
    edited December 2011

    I too refer to I Had Cancer.  I like the way it sounds.

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  • Paula66
    Paula66 Member Posts: 1,728
    edited December 2011

    Mac that is good news!!!  Time to party!

    I like to say also that I had cancer.  I know that we are all just one scan away from being stage four, but I cant let that stop me from moving forward.  My mind is a dangerous place sometimes and the more I focus on the dread the less is spent enjoying the day that I am in now.  I have to put my focus on that or this BC will eat me up.

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  • odie16
    odie16 Member Posts: 1,882
    edited December 2011

    Congrats on the good scans Mac.. 

    Seems my question started an interesting conversation. At my initial visit, my MO told me I am considered "cured" absent any change but that if it recurs I am treatable but no longer curable. Based on everything I have learned to date, I kinda felt in my heart that may not necessarily be the case. Like Paula said, the mind can be a scary place so I guess I just have to keep putting one foot in front of each other....

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  • marlegal
    marlegal Member Posts: 2,264
    edited December 2011

    Paula, I think my feelings most closely mirror yours. I've always said I 'had' breast cancer since my surgery. I considered chemo and radiation turbo chargers. I firmly believe that our minds have a strong place in our healing and general health, so I choose to keep my mind happy with that thought! Yes, I could have a recurrence, or have a new dx, but I could also be in all sorts of accidents or contract other illnesses. For today, I show no evidence of cancer in my body, and I revel in the fact I've been saying that for 6+ years. I wish that, and more, for all of us.

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  • SAB
    SAB Member Posts: 1,498
    edited December 2011

    Mac-the best of all news!  Happy New Year!

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  • juliet62
    juliet62 Member Posts: 3,412
    edited December 2011

    still feel like i;m waiting for the shoe to drop, 1st 6 month post surgery  mammogram meant an mri and stereotactic  which revealed adh and papillomas  along with the calcifications thats started it  all.

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  • Lumpynme
    Lumpynme Member Posts: 747
    edited December 2011

    saying hello! im 57 -almost 58--just diagnosed two weeks ago and today got the word by phone TODAY that lymph nodes ARE involved...no clue "what the plan" is from here....and it's a holiday weekend!

    don't know ALL of the particulars of my dx-just that i have bc and i have node involvement....Frown

    living in michigan-had hoped to move to ohio for support/treatment but may have to stay here due to medicaid...no one can answer my questions today-everyone started the holiday weekend early i guess.....

    anyhow-hi!

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  • Paula66
    Paula66 Member Posts: 1,728
    edited December 2011

    I know it took me along time to get there.  Heck it was just a few weeks ago that I felt that way.  I was telling my mom that I was just so tired of it all. I am really good at keeping secrets from everyone and didnt let them really know what was going on in my mind.  Then it finally hit me that I dont have to worry so hard that its this day is all I have to focus on and that BC will always be a part of me.  I just took the control of it instead of it controling me.  It did take sometime to get to that point for sure.

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  • odie16
    odie16 Member Posts: 1,882
    edited December 2011

    Juliet - ((hugs))

    MargoM - Sorry you have to join us but hope you will find as much knowledge, power, and comfort in these boards as I have.  We will be here for you as you continue to learn more.

    I am about six months out from diagnosis, 4 months post surgery and just finished treatment absent Tamoxifen. I do feel like I expect the other shoe to drop but think as I continue to get used to my new norm, it will ease as I get back to living...  Guess all things in good time...

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  • barsco1963
    barsco1963 Member Posts: 2,119
    edited December 2011

    macatacmv - glad to hear your news!

    lumpynme - welcome to the group - sorry you have to be here. You will find terrific encouragement, support and sharing of information. I hope you can get some answers soon as to where you are headed for treatment etc. It definately helps ease the stress a wee bit when you have some direction. Is a good idea to write down any questions that you have and take someone with you to any appointments. A second set of ears and someone to write down information is helpful.

    Keep us posted!

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  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited December 2011

    Welcome, Avensis!   The numbers do favor the early stage, low grade Dx, and that is probably why some of us can move past that feeling of dread.  We never really know what is going on inside, but you just make a choice not to live in fear that is will coming back.

    Lumpynme, hello!  Well, don't know what you wrote but you are welcome to post again.

    Paula66,  Yeah, we can't control if it is coming back or not, but we can control our day to day fear of it happening.  Agree with you there.  And I'm a control freak, so it took me a while to get to that sentiment also.

    barsco1963,  What treatmentare you on now?  How's it going...did you have shrinkage or remission yet?  I know you are outnumbered by early-stagers on this thread, but thank you for bringing your perspective HERE.  You were Stage IV right a Dx, and it was only some mos. ago, but you have probably met (on the threads) other women who have been having treatment for years.  We have been talking about living (supposedly) without cancer and trying to get to that place of non-fearful daily living.  That is HARDER, yet possible, when living with cancer.  Or so I have read what some women do post about it.  It amazes me that many Stage IV women don't have the daily dread, and it's not denial, or anything like that.  If they are feeling relatively healthy and pain-free, it seems like some just choose not to let the cancer take over their lives. I wonder if I could do that?  What's your philosophy for coping on a daily basis?

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited December 2011

    It was me that said that about being one scan away from stage iv.....its true! It depends on what reaction I want as to whether I say I have or I had cancer. Have to remind a lot of women that is why there ae runs for a CURE!!!!!

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  • justmejanis
    justmejanis Member Posts: 1,847
    edited December 2011

    I have been away for awhile again.  Sorry I missed so much news and thrilled so much GOOd news!  Paula, HAPPY one year!  Celebrate that one!  SAB...I was thrilled to read your good news as well.  MadPeacock and all others i may forget, so glad things are better for you!

    I am having another "scare" and I think this is what I hate most about cancer.  During PT last week for my neck I developed serious lower back pain.  My therapist attempted to adjust my back, last Thursday and this Tuesday.  By Tuesday night I could barely walk and the pain was so horrible not even Percocet helped.  I  took an Ambien just before 2:00 AM and the pain kept me wide awake.  I fianlly was able to doze off about 5:00 and only slept until a little after 7:00.  The pain was still so bad I literally laid on the couch ALL day, alternated heat/ice and took more pain meds.  It calmed down enough that I went to PT on Thursday.  I told her about my back and she went to talk to her boss.  She came back and worked only on my neck.  I mentioned that I was seeing my PCP today and she said I should just ask him for a script for my back therapy.  My husband overheard this and told her he is not comfortable with anyone touching my back again without so much as an x-ray having been done.  She didn't say much of course.

    So I went home and called my oncology nurse.  I wondered if there was any chance the Arimidex could cause this sudden onset of back pain.  She said no, not what i described.  When she found out i was seeing my PCP today she said I need to talk to him about ordering an MRI.  She said personally she would not let anyone touch my back without one.

    So I went early this morning and talked to my doctor.  I told him about the back pain, he asked a lot of questions and when I mentioned the MRI he stopped typing in the computer and looked at me and said he totally agreed one is needed.  Then he said he has always shot straight with me, never minced words.  I told him I knew that.  He told me that frankly he is very worried about this.  He said normally an MRI takes 2-3 to order; he was putting an order in for STAT.  He said he will be on vacation for the next three weeks and he feels very badly that he will not be able to review the MRI with me.  He got it scheduled for this Wednesday and scheduled a different doctor to go over it on the 10th.  He said that he will worry about me while on vacation.  Rut Roh...that didn't sound good!  I told him to go, have fun, no worries, but he said he would be worried.  He hugged me when I left.........

    So thinking they will find nothing, of course!  But still it is in my head, you know?  We all know the fear this damn disease breeds. 

    Anyway, pocket parties for me on the 4th and the 10th.  Claire will be so so busy!

    Love, hugs, and best news for all of you in the coming year!

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  • YaYa5
    YaYa5 Member Posts: 667
    edited December 2011

    janis, i'll be there with you on the 4th and the 10th.  we'll have a roaring good party!!  good luck, my dear. 

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  • LovesChristmas-Barb
    LovesChristmas-Barb Member Posts: 706
    edited December 2011

    I'll be in your pocket on the 4th and the 10th Janis....and praying for you too!

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  • odie16
    odie16 Member Posts: 1,882
    edited December 2011

    I'll be there for you as well Janis.

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  • marlegal
    marlegal Member Posts: 2,264
    edited December 2011

    Jumping in janis' pocket to get a good spot ... and bringing this along for those in the same pocket as me - hey - a girl has to eat!!!

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  • juliet62
    juliet62 Member Posts: 3,412
    edited December 2011

    ok janis, see you on the 4th and the 10th

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  • Paula66
    Paula66 Member Posts: 1,728
    edited December 2011

    Will be there for ya Janis on the 4th ans the 10 as well.  Yummy cheetos!

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  • justmejanis
    justmejanis Member Posts: 1,847
    edited December 2011

    Thanks ladies!  Someone has to bring chocolate something of course!!! 

    3:56 and wide awake...I hate these long nights!  

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  • mumito
    mumito Member Posts: 4,562
    edited December 2011

    Just popped in to wish everyone a Healthy and Happy New Year. ((Anoying Add)) Just figures how terrible my weekend is going.Undecided

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  • WaveWhisperer
    WaveWhisperer Member Posts: 898
    edited December 2011

    Janis, I'm sorry you're in a bad place now, worrying about the upcoming MRI. I'll be there for you, too, on the 4th and 10th. Every one of us may be right where you are in the next month, or year.

    Paula, I totally agree that my mind is a very dangerous place!! I hope that soon I can get to the point you are now. I know intellectually that it makes no sense to spoil today worrying about tomorrow, but emotionally that's hard to do.  

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited December 2011

    Count me in Janis...

    Good to see you Mum!!!

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  • BarbaraA
    BarbaraA Member Posts: 7,378
    edited December 2011

    I'm in there with you Janis. I'll bring choclate! How about some profiteroles? Had these last night but can certainly get more for our PP.

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